The four remaining Gundam pilots sat in a circle. Duo stared at his hands. "I...can't believe it," he whispered, his violet eyes wide. "Heero..."
Quatre patted him on the back. "He's in a better place, Duo." The American pilot nodded slowly, as if in a fog.
And who could blame him? He'd woken up earlier that morning, sticky from the previous night's round of lovemaking, looking forward to a hot shower, and instead found Heero Yuy, dead on the ground, blood leaking from his head.
Needless to say, he was not in the best mental state to be solving a crime. And yet, they couldn't very well call the police, now could they? Duo laughed; he could see it now. ‘Hello, sir, I'm a Gundam pilot, and my lover, also a Gundam pilot, has just been murdered. There are over a thousand known suspects, and probably ten times as many that we don't know.' He giggled uncontrollably at the thought.
Wufei stared at Duo carefully, his eyes narrowed. Could he have done it? Wufei wasn't sure. Why would Maxwell kill his own lover? He'd heard them late at night--from the noises *someone* was making, he was pretty sure the sex was good... And yet, sometimes Maxwell got a vicious look in his eye whenever he looked at Relena. Jealousy?
Quatre looked at Wufei, who seemed almost angry. Could Wufei have killed Heero? There was no lost love between the two headstrong pilots--both were warriors, although their tactics were extremely dissimilar, and had ideas about honor that conflicted. Death by honor??
Trowa watched his own lover with a mixture of curiosity and confusion. Why would Quatre be staring at Wufei...unless they were having an affair!? Hmmph. He crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest and began to sulk, refusing to say a single word. What the others took for stoic silence was usually him just throwing a tantrum.
"Well, no one else was here last night but us...so the killer is one of us!" Duo suddenly cried. "I know I didn't do it!"
Wufei stared at Maxwell. "Are you so sure? Come on now, we all know how jealous you get over Relena..." He let his voice trail off, the insinuation heavy in the air.
"What are you saying?" Duo cried, jumping to his feet. "Why would I kill Heero?" His violet eyes narrowed. "Maybe you killed him!" he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Wufei.
"Yeah!" Quatre joined in. "Maybe you killed him and you're just placing the blame on Duo so it won't look like you did it!"
Wufei growled at the small blonde. "The same applies to you," he snapped. "Maybe *you* killed Heero. I mean, we all remember what happened Christmas Eve..."
*cheesy background music plays loudly*
Wufei narrates:
It was Christmas Eve. Quatre had invited us all to his house, after much prodding by Duo. After all, Maxwell is the only one who actually celebrates Christmas--the only other pilot who believes in God is Quatre, and there is no Christmas in Islam.
Anyway, Duo passed out after one too many margaritas--celebrating a bit much, ne? Everyone else was busy singing Christmas carols and the like--myself excluded, of course, and then Quatre put up mistletoe, trying to get Trowa to kiss him.
Instead, Heero and Trowa ended up necking under the mistletoe, right in front of our eyes. They looked like they were enjoying it, too...
*end narration*
Duo sat there, his eyes bugged out, mouth open and catching various types of flies. "Oh, Heero!" he moaned. "How could you!" Duo threw his hands up into the air, as if to speak to his deceased lover.
Wufei smacked him. "You weren't together at Christmas, remember?"
"Oh yeah." Duo blushed and began examining his nails.
Quatre rolled his eyes. "That doesn't prove anything," he snapped, blue eyes darting shiftily from side to side. "Why would I kill Heero just ‘cause he was making out with *my* boyfriend?"
"You weren't together at Christmas, remember?" Duo supplied helpfully. Quatre made a face at the annoying American.
"Still, I think Wufei did it," Quatre said stubbornly. The Chinese pilot's mouth dropped open even farther than Maxwells. "I mea'n, you two were always fighting..."
Wufei laughed sharply. "I don't think so," he said simply.
"See!" Quatre crowed, climbing into Trowa's lap. "You haven't got a legitimate reason! You were probably in love with Duo so you killed Heero! Hit him over the head with a candlestick, I say! Like in Clue!" His eyes were so heated Chang was almost melting, trapped in his angry gaze. Then he yawned, and instantly his chibi-ness overcame the animosity.
Duo blushed. "Um...I know for a fact that Wufei isn't in love with me..."
Wufei buried his face in his hands, muttering about baka Yankees...
"He's in love with Sally," Trowa interrupted. Everyone stared at the silently sulking pilot. Seeing Duo's curious glance, he shrugged. "I listen at keyholes. Don't tell me that none of you do it either." He shot a look at Quatre, who at least had the grace to seem embarrassed.
"Anyway," Wufei snapped. "We have to get back to who killed Heero. It wasn't me, and that's all I know."
Quatre hmphed. "Well, once in a movie I saw this guy take statement. We could all write our statements, sign them, and then look for stuff that doesn't match up." He beamed proudly when no one visibly objected.
"Quick, everyone grab a pen," he said, clearly enjoying his role as a cop. "You too, Trowa," Quatre said cheerfully. A bit too cheerfully, for Duo's tastes. He was getting off on Heero's murder, he thought with disgust. Someone should off him.
A few minutes later, they were done writing. Before anyone could say a word, the blonde pilot of Sandrock ran around the room, snatching up the documents, and disappeared into the kitchen, where trespassers were threatened with death by a wooden spoon if they dared disturb him as he read.
At last, Quatre emerged from the kitchen, glowing. "I know who killed Heero!"
Duo did it Wufei did it Trowa did it
Ariana
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