08-Sep-2000
Category: Adventure, Action, Romance, Emotional Angst.
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4x5 (Combinations there of.)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made or sought, just having fun in the
sandbox.
NOTES: Onwards and upwards. The plot moves ahead. There isn't much to warn about here. Bonne (bonnejeanne@yahoo.com) is the wonderful puppeteer of Heero and Relena and I'm keeping up with Quatre.
Over the course of the next weeks, something became very apparent to Heero and Duo. The Quatre they knew, became a different person in space. There were many subtle differences but mainly, in space, Quatre Raberba Winner became everyone's property.
From his business associates, to politicians, to the employees of WEI, his family and then out to the people of the colonies who watched his every move on television. Quatre stepped into a world made of glass, with everyone looking in. He was on display for the universe and very much aware of the fact. It was much the same fish bowl that Relena lived in; especially now.
Both young people were studied. From the words they spoke, to the moves they made. How they smiled at the cameras, or addressed the crowd. If they took time to talk to reporters ... or answer a question from someone in the crowd. Not only were their words scrutinized to the Nth degree but also the tone of voice in which they spoke those words. If one group wasn't picking apart their political and economical decisions, then another groups was debating the color tie Quatre wore and why Relena choose to wear the blue dress instead of the mauve dress.
Like Relena, in space, Quatre stepped into his very public role. He beamed that bright Winner smile to everyone. He was gracious and polite. Charming the crowds of hostile reporters and somehow managing to be graceful even when people like Sally Cothe shot personal and irritating questions at him. Like Relena, Quatre gave up any pretense of a personal existence. He was on call 24/7.
Business meetings, both of the usual caliber and some tied to WEI's support of the L2 project, demanding much of his day. Some days, on top of business, there were political appearances to make in support of the Vice Minister. Then there were the social functions in the evening where the difficult dance of manners masked the agenda of trying to sell people on the idea that, all though they were comfortable, there were many people in desperation situations who were anything but comfortable.
Because of the trash t.v reporters like Sally Cothe, the action of Frecilia Winner was on everyone's tongue and Quatre spent a lot of time smoothing that over and playing it down. No matter how many times he had to answer the same question.. over and over.. he never let it show. He laughed. He joked. He turned the questions around till the pugnacious reporters got confused enough to chase they're own tails.
At the beginning, Duo had jokingly muttered that he now believed Quatre laced his tea with something other then caffeine. As time wore on, in a much more subdued tone, Duo made the observation that he understood why Quatre spent so much time on Earth.
Only someone very close to Quatre could tell the small signs of annoyance or strain. The deliberate carriage of his body and shoulders. The doll like quality to his face. The way his eyes seemed to gleam so bright and intense unless you looked closely. Then one might become aware of the fact that those eyes reflected the world back, like twin impenetrable mirrors, giving the seeker nothing but his own reflection.
In the daily battle, Quatre and Relena found a common ground between them. During the worst of it, they often gravitated to each other's backs. Keeping close tabs on each others movements, they often backed each other's plays even when separated by a whole Le Grange points.
Slowly, their hard work began to pay off, as more and more smaller but no less important companies came to Relena's cry for relief for the L2 colonies. Slowly the scales began to tip in balance to their side. It was a delicate dance but the slight signs of victory rejuvenated the followers in Relena and Quatre's camps. Everybody worked that much harder and gradually, there was that much more effect.
Unity was not defeated by any stretch of the imagination. If anything, the silence coming from the Unity corporations worried the young Winner. He, Marylin Phipps and Alexis worked very quietly on the side, gathering more and more information about the companies. It was like having a fourth of the pieces to the jigsaw puzzle and the frustration wore on Quatre.
Heero and Duo had followed the young businessman to space. Without any fanfare, they were simply there. Relena noticed Heero's presence and responded without changing anything she did or said. She just seemed to get a little boost of extra energy.
She startled Duo by smiling at him very warmly whenever they crossed paths or when they were in the same room together. She made it a point to speak to the young man from L2. Not about the colony or what they were trying to do there, but about general things... his health, a good movie she'd seen on the vid late at night while working, the latest model car that she coveted but would never own because it was too 'fast' for her public image.
Quatre was also very aware of Heero and Duo's presence. He had known to expect Heero but he had been a little surprised to see Duo. Quatre had smiled warmly and given them both a quirky waggle of his brows. For the most part, he behaved himself. He barely had time to think up any sort of mischief, let alone try to pull it off under Heero and Duo's nose.
Besides, not having the room to turn around, there was a certain sadness about the young blond. He missed Wufei and Trowa, that.. was obvious to anyone who knew to look. In the quiet moments, before sleep claimed him and when consciousness first returned, Quatre felt their absence keenly. It made the quiet moments stressful, because he knew that he *had* to face the feeling of loneliness. He had said as much to Wufei back on earth.
He just hadn't expected it to be so... hard.
There was also.. something else. He felt isolated from Duo and Heero as well. At one time he would have also been sweeping the shadows for enemies and acting freely. Protecting and actually... doing something other then dancing around puffed up egos and narrow minds. Now though.. he felt like he was on one side of a stream, watching his teammates on the other side.
It made the feeling of loneliness even stronger. Not only did he feel separated from his lovers but also from his unique little family.
Late one night, Quatre trudged out off the elevator and along the carpeted hallway of the hotel where they were staying. Juggling the lock card with his briefcase and some scrolls, he wrestled the door open.
Quatre pushed the door shut, turned and about jumped out of his skin as he found Heero in his room. The Japanese boy was sitting in a chair, looking calm and unruffled as always. It took Quatre's over worked brain a split second to identify *Heero.* Pushing away from the door, Quatre set the scrolls and briefcase down near a table he often used for late night working and he turned, beaming a smile at Heero. It was hard to loose the reflex.
"Good evening Heero." Quatre was still dressed impeccably. Though the meeting had ended and he'd had a 10 minute drive in the limo, he hadn't even bothered to loosen his tie or unbutton his suit jacket.
"Quatre." Heero acknowledged. He stood up and came over to the blond. Reaching up, he loosened, then removed the tie. Next he unbuttoned and removed the jacket almost before Quatre knew what was happening.
Quatre nearly fell back on his tailored rump in shock. His eyelashes batted a couple of times as he blinked in surprise. He was always little startled when Heero, touched him. It made him wary.
"Heero?" His voice was a little strained from using it so much in the past days. "Is something wrong? Wufei? Trowa?" He didn't say Duo because he knew that Heero would never leave an injured Duo.
"Wufei and Trowa are fine," Heero said. "You're not. Take off your shoes." His tone wasn't a command but it held a certain direct, irresistible quality.
Quatre exhaled in obvious relief. He didn't like being out of the loop. In fact he hated it, chafed under it. It took every ounce of his logic and common sense to keep himself from pouncing on Heero and Duo and demanding blow by blow information on what the four of them were up to. He looked down at his loafers with a curious expression then he stepped out of them, stretching his toes into the deep carpet. The cool air felt good across his instep.
"I'm all right Heero. I'm doing no more then Relena. Things are moving ... fast.
"You're not doing as well as Relena," Heero said. "She's building energy. You're draining. Slowly, but it's happening." Reaching down, Heero unfastened Quatre's slacks and pushed them over his hips. Then he unbuttoned the dress shirt. "Lay down on the bed," he said in the same tone.
Quatre had been building up a response to the charge, which was why it took him a moment to realize what Heero's hands were up to. When he did, he eeped softly, drawing back a little. Since he'd turned 6 only three sets of hands had even gone reaching for his belt and that included himself. Still he didn't move in time and the silk lined slacks dropped down into a small puddle on the floor.
"I take it..." Quatre began in a tone striving for normal. He had to stop and clear his throat, pretending his face was not reddish. "That trying to remind you that I have work to do... is going to fall on deaf ears?" Quatre strove for some semblance of normalcy in a very non-normal situation.
"It's not going anywhere and neither are you," Heero said. "Lay down on the bed."
Quatre tugged the open sides of his dress shirt over his chest in an unconsciously shy and protective manner. The longish shirt brushed almost as far down his legs as his boxers. He moved towards the bed, peeking towards the closet and sort of behind the couch.
"There's no one in the room and I checked it for surveillance devices." Heero said. He followed Quatre to the bed and pulled the shirt off of the blonde's shoulders, standing, clearly waiting for Quatre to obey.
Quatre sat on the bed, hugging his shirt to himself as he gave Heero a rueful little grin. "I was looking for cue cards written in Wufei's handwriting." That was as far as he got as his shirt got snagged and he was forced to release it. To someone trained in the human body, the subtle signs of the stressful pace Quatre had been keeping could be seen along the hollows around his shoulder blades and collarbones.
Heero removed his own shoes and sat on the bed, pushing Quatre back to lay flat. He leaned over the Arabian, looking down with those amazing cobalt blue eyes in a focused expression. Then he reached down and began massaging Quatre's body, starting at the fingertips of one hand and working slowly up the hand, arm, shoulder, then the other. Then neck and shoulders. Then chest. Then torso. Waist. Avoiding only the most intimate area of the groin, his hands moved down, spreading Quatre's legs slightly and working down one thigh, knee, lower leg, foot... out to the tips of his toes, and then the other side, in the same deliberate pattern.
Quatre lay there, feeling like a desert mouse caught in the stare of a cobra. When the gentle touches began, he decided that he must have eaten a strange mushroom in his soup earlier that day and was hallucinating. This was Heero.. yes? He sort of peeked up... yes. Muscles, tense and vibrating slightly with that energy Heero had spoken of earlier, responded to the deft touch of the Japanese boy's hands but Quatre was getting seriously confused.
His nerve finally broke and he rolled away from the soothing touches, towards the head of the bed, snagging a pillow out from under the neatly folded comforter and holding it against his chest. Quatre looked at Heero with baffled, bright teal eyes.
"Oh--kay. I've either gone right around the bend... or..."He stopped, pale brows drawn tightly together as he tried to puzzle this one out.
Heero watched Quatre, tilting his head very slightly. "You should relax and let me finish," he said. "You'll sleep better."
Quatre drew back a little further. "It's... a kind gesture Heero. Thank you." He spoke sincerely. "But I was going to catch a shower and try to brush up on a few things before getting some sleep."
Heero watched him for a moment and a slight frown appeared. It only made him look more like Heero. After a minute he said. "You don't trust me. Why?"
Quatre weaseled along the head of the bed, to the far side. Catching up his robe he slid into the light silk material, releasing the pillow. He didn't belt the robe, just tucked the sides around his body with his hands. He ducked his head a little, shaking it.
"I trust you with my life Heero. You and Duo. I've been behaving myself have I not?" Which was, for him... a very difficult thing to do. When you *knew* the dangers and knew how to face them yourself, it was difficult to be aware and yet leave yourself undefended. Trusting in someone else to do the same job you'd been trained to do.
"It doesn't matter to me if you 'behave' yourself or not." Heero said. "I'll do my best to keep you safe. That's not what I'm talking about. You don't want me to touch you." He regarded Quatre for a moment. Then he shrugged and stood up. "I'm sorry if I've miscalculated. I thought what Duo was trying to show me that night after the shuttle hijacking was that you trusted me. I apologize. I won't bother you any more. This is something I've done for Relena on a few occasions. I thought it might help."
He turned to leave the bedroom, his face smoothed of all expression, melting back into the invisible soldier.
Quatre watched Heero's face as he spoke. He watched those intense blue eyes. As Heero turned the pressure of his eyes away from the small blond, Quatre licked his lips and spoke, very softly.
"With the others... I've always known where I stood. With you, I don't. Of all of us, I think that you and I shared the pure relationship of comrades in arms. Trusting each other's skills... but not getting close. Accepting the sacrifice if it came to that without blinking. When the war ended.... where did that leave us? I... tried often to relate to you the way I do to Duo... or even Wufei before we became lovers... but that doesn't fit us. The way you relate to Trowa and Wufei... there is a brotherhood between you three... again it doesn't fit us. It's not that I don't trust you Heero... I don't know you."
Heero paused, listening to the soft voice. Without turning around, he said, "Neither did she, but she accepts me."
"Perhaps she is a stronger person. I've always believed that of her." Quatre took a deep breath and he moved from his spot on the far side of the bed, coming a little closer until there were no physical obstacles between himself and Heero. "I don't know how to accept kindness from you Heero. You've never been cruel but your focus is frightening. It always made me feel like I wasn't measuring up. Outside my father, you're one of the few people who makes me question myself at every turn."
Heero turned, reaching into his pants pocket. He pulled something out and held it towards Quatre.
"I was going to leave this for you. Something to remind you who you are and what you can do. Kind of a souvenir," Heero said. "I don't know how to answer your words, Quatre. I'm not good at talking about things like this. I wasn't even supposed to have any feelings much less express them. I've known for a long time... from the time that you got me out of the Wing Zero and took me to Earth... that you were one of those people who had what I don't. I'm not even sure what it is that you have. It's like what Relena has. Maybe it's your kindness, I don't know. But I've known from that time that you were one of the people who had what it would take to make peace work. Without that - without you, her, people like you, all the destruction would have been meaningless. And there aren't very many people like you around. There are a lot of people like me. People who can kill. People who have no real purpose ... without people like you."
Quatre listened to Heero. Then he stepped forward again, closing the rest of the distance. He let go of one side of the robe, reaching out with his hand to close it around Heero's, without looking at the object the other boy held. His eyes remained on Heero's face.
"Heero... my hands are as stained as any of us. You were right... when you forced me to face Zero again. Anything I do now, I do as atonement for my sins against the colonies I was supposed to protect and against the family I told myself I was fighting to defend. My kindness... is weak compared to Relena's. It broke beneath the strain... hell it shattered and I became as... much a destroyer as those we fought. You were right when you titled me your enemy at that time." Quatre stopped and he swallowed. He stood, uncertain and lost in front of Heero, tripping over words that had come so easily to his lips just hours before. Reaching up he released the other side of the robe.
"I spend a lot of time.. asking you for second chances. I'd like to finish what you started."
"It doesn't matter how stained your hands are," Heero said quietly. "It doesn't matter why you do what you are doing now, whether it's for atonement or some other purpose. What matters is that you can do it. I can't. All I can do is try and make sure that you get a chance to finish. That's the only way I have of trying to do the right thing."
Heero looked into Quatre's eyes, the intensity returning for a moment. "You don't know where you stand with me? I love you, Quatre. I love what you are and what you are capable of. I've stayed in your house because I love you. Did you think I'd stay for any other reason?"
Heero's eyes dropped, banking the energy and fell on the objects, for it was more than one, in Quatre's hand
Quatre couldn't have been more ... stunned ... if his father suddenly walked into the room. He stood in front of Heero, trying to gather his scattered wits about him, looking for ... what to say in the face of a declaration he had never suspected. He was not foolish enough to misread the intent ... he just had never expected even that level of emotion from the still waters of the Japanese boy.
Quatre still hadn't looked down at his hand yet. He couldn't bring himself to take his eyes off Heero's face. Because he was a tactile person, he brought up the fingers of his free hand, touching Heero's cheek lightly.
"I learned ... not to assume with you Heero. Of all of us ... you're commitment has always been the strongest and your purity. I have never, questioned your actions or thought to question them. I... just stood in awe of you. Heero ... do you not realize ... how many people love you?"
Heero glanced up at that. "I've been trying to learn these things," he said quietly. "That's why I came here tonight. I actually thought you'd let me help you this way, as well as simply guarding you."
"Oh Heero." Quatre spoke softly. "There is nothing, simple about your guarding me. It's... an honor for me and it helps me concentrate on what I'm doing instead of keeping an eye over my shoulder. This..." He turned and motioned towards the bed. "It's hard for me to slow down sometimes." He turned back with a rueful little grin, his eyes dropping a bit in embarrassment and finally looking towards where his hand still held Heero's.
The objects Heero had placed in his hand were a set of disks.
Quatre's brows furrowed once again in puzzlement as he looked at the disks, his mind trying to shift gears as he automatically connected them with *work*. No.. that wasn't right.... he looked back up towards Heero.
"Those are the disks I used to load the Zero system into Sandrock." Heero said.
Quatre's shoulders straightened a little as he looked at the disks ... remembering the feeling of using the Zero. Both in Wing and then again with Sandrock against Dorothy Catalonia. "It saved our lives that day. You were right."
"It didn't. You did. You can destroy the disks if you want. I kept them because they reminded me of your strength as well as your kindness. I thought if I gave them to you, you could have something to remind you that I believe in you. I always have."
Quatre stroked the disks with his thumb. "It was your purity of purpose that did it. I didn't want anything to do with this system after what I did in Wing. I remember howling like a damn baby when you told me you'd put this into Sandrock. I didn't feel particularly strong at the time. I just... couldn't let you and the others down again. Not like I had before."
"You didn't let anybody down except yourself," Heero said. "As powerful as that system is, it's just a tool. It takes strength and determination to use it. You told me afterwards that you didn't need it any more. Because you gave up trying to be weak. You were afraid at first that if you gave up being weak, you'd loose your kindness, like you did before. But that was one lesson you'll never need to learn again."
His hand dropped away, leaving the disks in Quatre's hand. "I should go and let you work, or shower or sleep. I've disturbed you enough."
He stared at the disks in his hand, speaking as if he hadn't heard Heero's last words. "I'm afraid I'll let everybody down again... now when it's even more important that I don't fail. I feel separated from you all Heero... and I'm afraid." He spoke it softly but made the confession clearly. Looking up to those soul searching cobalt blue eyes. "Please... stay. Help me."
Heero watched Quatre, unmoving for a moment. "I could have Duo come if you'd rather," he said quietly.
"No... please. I need you. I need your clarity. I need your truth. " Quatre's voice was strained.
Heero sighed softly. "I don't understand where you get ideas like that," he said. "What you need is a rest and a break." He turned but instead of leaving the suite, he went into the bathroom and turned on the hot water, starting to run a warm bath.
Quatre slid the disks into the pocket of his robe. He found, he wasn't ready to destroy them quite yet. He turned, watching Heero move towards the bathroom and he trailed behind, curiously.
"It could be said that I needed a rest and a break when we came back to Earth during the war. I do not remember either of those being an option at the time. For either of us. " He took a moment, quiet observation for the events they had seen together and the lives that had been lost as Rommerfeller used the mobile dolls those first times.
Then he gave a quirky little grin that made him look young and more like the Quatre from Earth. "And don't try to sell me on our time in the Sank kingdom as being restful. You didn't have to deflect numerous requests for information about my... how did they put it.. "dark, mysterious ... cute ... friend." He drew out the word cute.. the way you would in highschool, passing a note.
Heero glanced up, and simply said, "Hn." He turned off the water when the tub was full and Quatre noticed it was also full of bubbles.
Okay.. the exhaustion was starting to get to him. The 'hn' started a small fit of giggles, that had just about abated when the sight of the bubbles started them up again. Quatre covered his mouth with both his hands, trying to stem the flow of the barely edged in hysteria, noise.
Heero ignored the giggling and stood up, reaching to take the robe. "Get in the bath, Quatre," he said patiently, in exactly the same tone he'd used on Earth to tell the blond to 'play with the dogs'.
Quatre coughed a couple of times to shake loose the giggles. He was going to have to outgrow that habit... really he was. He slid out of the robe, handing it over to Heero and then he blushed a little. Oh now that was silly.. it wasn't like there was something new under his boxers... still he was a bit shy as he made himself step out of them and quickly jumped into the hot water under the covers of the bubbles.
You try growing up with 29 sisters and see if you don't have a few privacy issues over the years.
Heero hung the robe up on a hook behind the door and then knelt next to the tub. Rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt, he lifted Quatre's hand from the warm water and began patiently massaging it from fingertips to palm and then up.
Quatre relaxed under the bubbles, sinking down to his chin. His eyes had closed, only to snap back open when Heero took his hand. His fingers twitched a little, till he reminded himself. 'He does this for Relena... relax.' Quatre watched for a long moment, then he closed his eyes again, repeating those words to himself until something clicked within and he began to just unwind and relax under the touch itself. Then it became a fight of not letting himself doze and sink under the bubbles!
Quatre did doze and before he knew what was happening, he found himself waking as Heero lifted him from the cooler water, wrapping him in a big towel. Heero carried the blond to the bed and finished drying him, then slipped a soft loose nightshirt over his head and placed him under the covers, tucking them around his body a little. He brushed the pale gold bangs back from the Arabian's forehead gently and turned down the light by the bed.
Quatre mustered up enough energy to mutter something about getting Heero all damp but beyond that he was pretty pliable when it came to drying him off and getting him tucked into the shirt. A half asleep little Arabian was sort of fun, kinda like your own doll. He curled around a pillow, holding it against his chest, as he had every night that he'd been without Wufei and or Trowa to hold.
Quatre muttered sleepily. "Relena and I have a meeting with the head of Comcorp tomorrow morning, 7:30. Alexis wants to talk to you, or Wufei."
"Hn." Heero acknowledged. "I'll make sure they wake you. Sleep."
Quatre was almost as bad as Duo in the habit of continuing to murmur and talk, complete nonsense, until the full effects of REM sleep took over.
Heero looked down, smoothing the pale hair a last time. Then he secured the room and made his way out of the suite like a silent shadow.
As Heero left the suite, his keen eyes and senses caught the quick flit of a shadow, that didn't belong, heading towards the back stairs used by the hotel staff.
In less time that it took to think it, he followed the shadow moving with silent speed and intercepted it at the top of the stairs.
The shadow belonged to a young woman. Dressed as hotel staff but moving in a very suspicious manner as she crept towards the stairwell. A small item was in her hand and she was busy taking it apart, stowing it's parts into different pockets as she scurried silently along.
The woman found a hand over her mouth and her forward movement halted. Another hand quickly collected the pieces of whatever she was stowing away. "Identify yourself," a cold voice said quietly and the hand over her mouth was removed.
She gave a quick, martial arts twist to try and break the hold Heero had on her. She was good, not good enough but good in her attempt. Panting slightly as she dangled in the hold Heero had on her she looked over her shoulder at him. "May.. May Fair."
"That doesn't mean anything to me," Heero said coldly.
"You just asked me to identify myself. I gave you my identity." She snarled back.
"You gave a name. An identity has meaning. Doesn't matter. I can always remove enough flesh for a DNA scan."
May's pretty lips tightened and her brown eyes flashed defiantly, she didn't care about his taking flesh but she happened to look up into those cold eyes and decided that whatever she was getting paid it wasn't enough.
"You his boyfriend?" She asked smartly.
"No, I have a boyfriend of my own, thank you," he said ironically. "Which tabloid are you working for?"
"None. Frecilia Winner. She's trying to get information on her brother's relationships."
"Hn." Heero twisted her arm a little more, causing pain to shoot up the arm to her shoulder and spine. "What for?"
May danced on her toes trying to relieve the pain in her shoulders. "Frecilia doesn't like him. That's no secret. But he's the colonies baby. She's pulling together a collection of all his dark and dirty little secrets... all of them... then she's going to use em against him in a media smear. Roger Mattes is working with her." May added at the end, hoping the little extra tidbit might help her loosen up her arm. "Frecilia's daughter keyed her in on the brown haired boy... said there might be something. You got brown hair."
Heero released the woman's arm abruptly. "This didn't happen. Quatre went to sleep in his suite after working late as usual. You can keep working and collect whatever money she's paying you but if a word of this evening's conversation between you and I comes to light *anywhere*, you won't need another job, you will need the services of a good physician, preferably someone with experience in reconstructing major organs."
May reached up rubbing her arm and glaring at Heero. "Great.. as if threats from that Catalonia bitch weren't bad enough... you two should have a contest you know. Most frightening promise of torture."
Heero's hand shot out and fastened around her neck. "Dorothy Catalonia. Talk."
May squeaked as she suddenly found drawing air to be difficult. She scrabbled back a little reaching up trying to get Heero's hands to loosen. "Yeah.. that's her name. Long blond hair.. blue eyes... forked eyebrows. Dorothy Catalonia. She's Frecilia Winner's daughter. She's heading this whole campaign up for her mother."
Heero released the woman. Then he simply turned and left, melting away like a morning mist.
End Part 10
Laekin
Please send comments to: seregill@aol.com or bonnejeanne@yahoo.com