Shades of Grey by Laekin and bonnejeanne

Part Six

Duo was sitting in the study reading a magazine. Actually, he looking at the pictures. His busy mind could not seem to stay on the same page with his eyes. For one thing Heero was cooking. Duo could occasionally catch a whiff of something rich slowly emerging from the kitchen but every time he'd gone to investigate he'd been kept out of the room. Heero had opened the door only to pass the occasional drink out to the braided boy.

So that left Duo with too much time with his own thoughts. He kept circling back on the conversation he'd had with Wufei just after Quatre had gotten out the door.

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Wufei had watched, bemused, as the blonde Arabian made like a racetrack driver. Looking back at Duo he'd said. "I thought he was the one who was scolding you for your bike riding?"

Stepping back into the house Duo shrugged. "Oh, he does but that doesn't mean he doesn't drive like a lunatic. Why do you think Trowa insists he use the limos.. well except for the obvious? Haven't you figured it out yet Wufei? The rules that Quatre applies to us do not apply to himself."

"Yes..." Wufei had said, following. "I think I *am* starting to see that. I never gave it a lot of thought."

Never one to pass up a quick snack, Duo bee-lined for the breakfast tray, helping himself to a sausage link and some egg. "Yep, we have to eat our vegetables and get a good nights sleep and drive safely... he on the other hand might eat a slice of toast, doesn't sleep unless Trowa hits him over the head and well you saw the driving... Want any of this?"

Wufei shook his head. "I don't eat meat Duo."

Duo shrugged popping a bite of sausage into his mouth, speaking around it. "There's some fwuite."

"Thank you, I'll eat when I'm hungry. You wanted to talk to me?"

Duo swallowed and poured himself a glass of juice, nodding towards the study. "Well.. I mean that was pretty obvious there Wufei."

"Obvious?" Wufei said, his expression cool. "Was it?"

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Duo stood up, once again agitated as the conversation came back to him. He'd over stepped his bounds badly in questioning Wufei about what had happened behind that closed door. He'd also made some automatic assumptions that seemed to be off the mark. Walking over behind Quatre's desk Duo leaned against the back of the large chair and looked out at the garden. His mind jumping further along the conversation.

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"Cripes Wufei you are intent upon taking things the wrong way. You know..." Duo stopped again.

"Last night you tried to kill me," Wufei said. "You may be all better about it today... are you assuming that I feel the same way? Maybe I want to beat you..."

Duo plowed on barely stopping for a breath. "Hey, I don't pretend to know what you do or do not feel Wufei. Yeah, I was pissed last night.. really pissed. I love Heero and he was hurt and at the time you were the only target I had. However we do what we have to do. I don't have the energy to hold onto a grudge so I'm trying to move beyond my own feelings on the matter. You want to beat yourself over the head I can't stop you but you really must not think much of any..."

Finally Wufei's last words penetrated the American boy's hearing and he stopped in mid breath blinking. "Well.. yeah I could see that."

Quietly, Wufei continued now that he had Duo's attention. "You've been steadily insulting me for the last ten minutes, Duo. Fortunately I *don't* want to beat you. But I'm not in a mood to play games with you either."

"Wufei... listen to me. I was angry at what happened. At what "happened" I'm human you were my only target. " Duo threw his hands up in the air. "I was way out of line last night and whether you want to hear it or not I apologize."

Wufei glanced up at Duo, then quickly away. Before he could look away, Duo was surprised to see something in those dark eyes.

Wufei's eyes showed vulnerability. "I don't want that." He said quietly.

"No, you want to be able to beat yourself up about something that was out of your control. You don't like being out of control do you?"

"It was NOT out of my control!" Wufei said suddenly, loudly.

"Really? What were the options then?"

Wufei looked at his bare feet. "I should have found another way," he said softly.

Then he looked up. "It's not ... that... Duo. The... the man said things to me... and I said things back... and they were... true things."

"So you're angry at us. It happens Wufei. We're like.. some sort of strange little family and while I don't have any personal experience in the matter mind you, I've heard that things don't always go smoothly. Something's obviously wrong. So.. now we know. It could have come out a better way.. but it's out there now, let's deal with it. As for another way, Heero and I talked a lot last night. You three were too deep into the mission, the intel had gone badly wrong, you were deep in enemy territory and Mr. Perfect Solider himself, said things were hopelessly snafued. There was no other choice. Well.. death I guess."

"It's not about that," Wufei said.

"Then what is it about Wufei. Talk to me here." Duo said almost pleadingly.

Wufei took a breath. "I'm an outsider here," he said at last. "*We* aren't a family. You are. Heero... has you and you have him. Quatre has Trowa and so on. Trowa will come back today and then I will be back in my room as usual, meditating on the best way to..."

Duo had interrupted him. "We could all benefit from your strength Wufei if you'd only let *us* in."

"My strength..." Wufei said, and laughed softly. "I have no strength, Duo. It's a front. I meditate each day so that I don't run screaming. I have my boundaries... because if I don't, I know that even the partnership we have won't survive... as it nearly didn't last night. You were angry, ne? It was close, wasn't it?"

Duo had found himself frustrated at this point. "You're boundaries Wufei.. listen to yourself damn it man! You're trying to pin being an outsider on us, on what we do.. but you do it also. You and these boundaries. All of us have our worts. Yeah maybe we don't hang em out for the world to see.. we're guys, we're hardwired to be strong and silent, or in my case loud mouthed and...well hell I don't know what I'm saying half the time. The only thing that makes Quatre different in all this is he wears his heart on his sleeve like an idiot, then blows up people when it get's trampled on." As Duo had paused to take a breath Wufei had quietly broken in.

"I can't be something I'm not... not so you will all... like me."

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Those words had struck Duo dumb for a moment and in that moment Wufei had made good his retreat from the conversation. That had been over five hours ago.

Wufei was still in his room. He'd bathed, dressed, done several hours worth of workouts, and had been sitting in meditation for the remainder of the time.

Duo walked away from the window, contemplating making one last attempt to look in the kitchen when Quatre came crashing through the front door.

"So you see Trowa... it will work.. really!" The little blonde's voice carried through the hall.

Duo stuck his head out the study door, watching as Trowa followed Quatre into the house at a more sedate pace. A tenderly amused grin played around Trowa's thin lips as he just nodded, not even trying to get a word in edge wise.

The American had absolutely no problem with talking right over the animated Arabian as he waved towards the pair.

"Hey, cool you two are back. Trowa I want you to realize, that none of it was my fault." Duo nodded towards the circular drive where the Aston was parked.

Trowa nodded his head understandingly to Duo. Quatre gave Duo a perplexed look before brushing by him into the study, briefcase flung unerringly behind the potted palm. However, he neatly hung his coat on the couch back before giving the air an appreciative sniff.

"Is Heero cooking again?"

Duo nodded. "Yep and he's being really secretive."

Stepping in behind Quatre, Trowa looked around frowning gently. "Where is Wufei?"

"I'm here," Wufei said from the hallway.

His nostrils dilated.

He nodded. "I could tell you what he's cooking but if he wants it to be a surprise I won't spoil it." He nodded to Trowa. "Hello Trowa."

Quatre moved automatically behind his desk, wrestling with his tie with one hand and the gun harness with the other. He looked up and beamed a smile to Wufei.

Trowa nodded to the Chinese boy as he moved towards the fire hearth, leaning himself comfortably on the mantle.

Duo threw his hands up in frustration. "Everybody knows but me. It's not fair, he won't even let me in there to get a snack. It's torture. "

Looking around and seeing he was getting no sympathy, from anyone, Duo threw himself back onto the couch and had just picked up his magazine when...

"Duo!" Heero's voice came from the kitchen.

Duo bounced back up as if his limbs where made of springs, dashing towards the kitchen. "Wha?"

Heero met him at the door. "Take this, put it on the table." 'This' was a large bamboo rice steamer, with quilted potholders around it.

Duo tried to peek into the item as he took it, but found he needed both his hands to balance the steamer.

"It's rice, Duo," Heero said behind him.

"I'm hungry." Duo whined plaintively as he set the steamer down on the long table Quatre often used for semiformal business lunches.

"Then come here," Heero said, bringing out a stack of bowls, chopsticks, ceramic ladles and cloth napkins on a tray. "Set up the table. Every place gets a bowl, chopsticks and a ladle. And a napkin."

Duo loaded himself down grumping. "Uses me like a pack animal. I'm going to wither away from starvation. He works me like a dog and does he ever say thank you, or please... nope."

Trowa stifled a small chuckle as he stepped over to help the kevetching American. Heero emerged from the kitchen with another tray. This tray had a ceramic flask and small cups. He handed it to Trowa without a word, assuming Trowa would know what to do with it. Then he went back in the kitchen and returned, carrying a very large tureen, which was steaming hot and heavy, from the careful way he transported it. He carried this to the table and placed it on a mat beside the tall bamboo rice steamer.

Then he looked at Duo. "If you will sit down, we can eat."

Duo wasted no time in plunking himself down in front of food. In fact he managed to be nearest the majority of the food. Trowa pulled a chair out for Quatre, waiting till the small blonde was seated before taking the seat beside him. Wufei came and took the chair opposite from Heero.

Heero stood for a moment. "On the mission, there was an enemy who hated me for being Japanese. I figured after taking the shit I took for it, I would honor my ancestors' country of origin by fixing something I haven't had in a long time. A very long time. Traditional Sukiyaki Beef. It's a meat stew, Duo. You can eat it with or without rice," he said, his tone implying that anyone who would skip good rice was insane. "The flask contains sake. I thought that too was appropriate. I suggest you go lightly if you've never had it."

Finished, he sat and lifted the lid off the tureen. A cloud of fragrant, rich steam moved up into the room. The smell was rich, full-bodied, not quite sweet or spicy but with a hint of both.

Duo dove in with a vengeance. Rice hit his plate in a small stack.. that grew.. and grew till he'd almost emptied one half of the rice steamer. Then he was into the stew. Trowa snuck the rice away while Duo's back was turned and served himself a portion, handing the steamer on to Quatre who did likewise before passing it on to Wufei.

Through out the passing of the food, Trowa's features had slid into a deep, thoughtful expression, as if he were wrestling with a problem he couldn't quite put a finger on. Without looking up from his thoughtful regard of his plate, Trowa smacked Duo's hands till the American released the the tureen of stew.

As the sake made the rounds, Quatre studied it with a longing glance but passed it on without sampling any of it. Seeing this, Heero got up and went into the kitchen, then came back with a steaming cup which he placed by Quatre.

"Chrysanthemum tea," he said briefly. "Good for digestion."

Quatre smiled thankfully up to Heero. "Thank you Heero."

The sound of silence, with the exception of Duo on maximum inhale, filled the study.

Wufei tasted the broth and closed his eyes briefly in simple sensory ecstasy. Then he looked up at Heero, meeting his eyes for a moment. He poured himself a small cup of sake and lifted it to Heero silently, then drank it in one swallow.

Heero acknowledged the gesture by pouring a drink of his own and doing the same thing.

Quatre watched the two boys with the inquisitive expression of someone genuinely fascinated by an aspect of interaction he's not before encountered. Trowa watched as well and then just nodded to himself, as if coming to a realization.

The rich sukiyaki had the effect of raising the body temperature of everyone who partook of it. Ginger or some other mysteriously ingredient brought a flush to the skin. Anyone who had sake got a double helping of this phenomena.

Duo finally leaned back, stopping long enough to breath again and fan himself with his hand. "This is wonderful Heero!" Duo couldn't help but grin maniacally at his lover. "A man of many talents."

Heero smiled very slightly. "Don't be too impressed, I had to look up the recipe online. It's been too long."

Trowa set down his chopsticks. Taking a moment to pat his lips with his napkin before speaking in quiet tones. "It's been too long since any of us stepped back to remember where we came from. We've been moving forward very fast."

He took a sip of the sake, before lifting his chopsticks up once again. Quatre shot him a puzzled look.

Wufei kept silent at the remark. He already felt as though he was far too much in touch with his origins every damn day. But the sukiyaki had touched something inside him. Japanese and Chinese cultures were very different, but they had more in common with each other than they both had with most of the rest of the world. He understood Heero's need to do this and the values built into the meal were ones Wufei could relate to and even yearn a bit towards. He poured himself one more sake, wondering if it might not be a mistake but he downed it quickly. He saw Heero watching him as he did so and simply nodded.

Quatre continued to study Trowa, knowing that his lover meant something more. Trowa looked at the blonde, then finished chewing before making a motion with his chopsticks.

"It is something that we need to remember about each other is all." Trowa spoke as if answering a question.

It took a second but Trowa's words finally helped many things fall into place for Quatre. Perhaps it was the sudden onset of the food but Quatre flushed hard and looked down to his rice.

When it seemed as though everyone was finished, Heero stood but Wufei stood at the same time and said, "Let me. It's appropriate that I should do this." And with that he began clearing the table. Normally they would all take care of their own dishes but Wufei simply kept them in their seats with a look, as he quickly and methodically cleared away everything until the table was empty. He was gone for a while, arranging things in the kitchen.

In his absence, Heero looked across the empty table at Duo, then Quatre and last Trowa. Duo wore that look, that spoke..'I know I'm missing something... I'm still missing it.. but at least I know I'm missing something.' Trowa was calm, in fact he seemed a touch calmer then he had been.. though it would be hard to tell without taking his blood pressure. Quatre was pulling the napkin through his small fingers and looking decidedly abashed.

"What's wrong Quatre?" Heero asked simply.

"Hmm?" Quatre looked up. "Oh. Nothing Heero. I just..wasn't being observant."

"As long as it's not indigestion," Heero said deadpan.

Trowa choked on a little laugh. "No, that's going to be Duo tonight. You lucky man you."

Heero glanced at Duo as if trying to scope out whether such a thing might be immanent.

Duo gave a little belch, leaned his chair back and crossing his hands over his stomach. "No worries here. I've got a stomach of cast iron gundanium."

"It's about as large as a Gundam, that's for certain." Quatre muttered, peeking out from under his bangs at the braided boy.

Coming into the room from the kitchen, Wufei said, "It is advisable never to store a good sukiyaki in a metal container..."

Having been exposed to dry humor earlier Quatre just looked up and grinned. Duo looked positively stunned and for a moment his chair was in danger of tipping over before Trowa reached out and caught it.

Wufei looked around the table. "Well do you want quiet time to digest your food or shall we get this over with?"

End Part 6

Laekin and bonnejeanne

Please send comments to: seregill@aol.com or bonnejeanne@yahoo.com

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