Shades of Grey by Laekin and bonnejeanne

Part Three

For a moment Quatre felt his resolve weaken. He hadn't been kissed by anyone except Trowa in his young life and though Trowa could be possessive he was rarely demanding. Wufei's kiss had been demanding and it startled Quatre. But he hadn't started this only to back away now.

He was walking into this with his eyes open and he wasn't going to retreat. Instead he reached up, taking the side of Wufei's face in his small hand and bringing their lips back together.

Wufei made a sound that was almost a cross between a sob and a growl. His lips were stiff for a bare instant, then he pressed against Quatre's soft mouth and parted his lips, his tongue seeking entrance. Quatre's lips softened beneath the onslaught and his little whimper echoed between them.

Wufei felt his heart pounding in his chest and fought an internal struggle even as he took what he could from the sweet mouth under his. Leash the tiger... stop the dragon... don't destroy the friendship which was all he had. Panting, he pulled back, gaining control over himself. His face was far from cool now, dark eyes showing both deep pain, need and a ferocious struggle. He separated himself from the other boy with several steps, backing up, watching Quatre's face.

"Quatre... go... forgive me and... go."

A part of Quatre recognized that perhaps he should have made Wufei read the letter so that the lonely young man would know that this wasn't a risking of friendship but rather an extension of it. As it stood, Wufei was just going to have to learn to trust. Trust in Trowa. Trust in Quatre and trust in himself.

Taking a very definite step forward, Quatre quickly slid his arms around Wufei. Not pressing the kiss any further but delivering one of his rare hugs. His voice pitched low but determined.

"No. I'm not leaving you alone my friend."

Wufei closed his eyes, wanting to enjoy the feeling of warmth against his body, the brush of soft pale hair at his cheek. Slamming every internal door shut as hard as possible, he moved, a little stiffly, but slowly. His hand patted Quatre's back in an attempt to reassure.

"Quatre," he said in a very controlled tone that still held threads of strain. "I... thank you... for... trying to... help. I need... to be alone... there are things..." his voice caught slightly before he forced it to be steady, "Things I don't... want you to see... to know..."

Quatre listened to the words and again warred internally with himself. He knew that Wufei was a very private young man and that sometimes everybody needed that privacy honored. But tonight.. maybe it was Trowa's letter, or the kiss.. or just his own heart screaming at him but he couldn't leave. Keeping his arms around Wufei, Quatre leaned back looking up into Wufei's eyes.

"You don't need to keep hiding things from us Wufei. We all care about you. We all have moments, we're mortal. It happens. Please, let me stay and help."

Wufei took a breath. "Quatre...." his voice was rough. Trying to make it more even, he began again. He had to do something to keep this from ending the way it seemed it might. Shattering his life and leaving only familiar emptiness.

"Quatre... I will... tell you about what happened. Then you judge. But only if you... sit over there," Wufei said at last, pointing to one of the willows.

Quatre frowned.. but yielded to the compromise. He lifted one small hand, brushing Wufei's cheek with his fingertips, then he stepped away. He didn't withdraw too far but did make himself comfortable on the soft grass beneath the willow tree's embrace. Settled he looked up into Wufei's face. His own expression, concerned but gentle and open.

"We had to infiltrate.." Wufei began, wanting to get through this as quickly an emotionlessly as possible. "Intel was off... the faction leader believed us to be from another faction instead of our original cover, a faction he already knew of. To accomplish the mission we had to make a quick change up and play into his belief. Then one of us had to appear to betray the others. It was appropriate for me to do it... the faction leader was half-Chinese, and seemed more inclined to trust me."

Quatre winced. They'd been getting reports from Sally about bad intel throwing off a couple recent Preventer missions. What was the code name... Fragile? Quatre filed it away for later consideration, keeping his attention focused on Wufei.

"I appeared to let him 'persuade' me to betray Trowa and Heero. We thought it would be enough to get what was needed and get out. But it dragged on longer..." Wufei said, trying to skip as much as possible.

Quatre drew one knee up towards his chest, catching his hands around his leg. He never took his eyes off Wufei. The solider in him coming to the fore as he nodded his understanding of the situation. Every aspect of it

"The man had a cultural prejudice against Japanese," Wufei said. "It's not common any more but he was a history buff. Kept bringing up something about the torture of Chinese by occupying Japanese in the last century or something. I played up to that. Then he insisted I prove my feelings were genuine by using sexual torture..."

Wufei's voice was now devoid of all expression. This was bad, but if he was lucky, it would be enough to satisfy the blonde - he wouldn't have to tell the details that truly bothered him. What had happened was... degrading... but they were both soldiers who would do whatever they had to. What had gone beyond that... was something Wufei did not want to talk about.

Unfortunately the small blonde knew that an unlanced wound would just fester. He didn't actively push.. but he didn't release the pressure of his gaze either.

"I performed ... sufficiently," Wufei said, staring past Quatre. "I was accepted," his lip curled. "I even managed to persuade him to spare my 'former comrades' for bargaining chips. I had to deal with the leader's lust, but that made it easier to get the information he was keeping in his private quarters. We... we escaped and that's... all there is to it."

Quatre let the words sit between them for a moment before he spoke in a gentle but clinical tone. "To retain mission integrity you had to rape Heero?"

Wufei stared off, nodding slightly. "I... paid my dues for it with the... leader," he said. "And I killed him for Heero. It was unpleasant. Much of what we do... is. That's all... nothing... more."

Quatre nods slowly. "It was mission integrity Wufei. Heero understands that. Still. A difficult thing to accomplish. " Suddenly Quatre understood why he and Duo were held back from this mission.

"Yes..." Wufei agreed, hoping this would end the conversation. "Now... go back in and... get something to eat. I will stay here a bit longer. But I will be... fine. I promise."

Quatre had never been the physically strongest, or fastest or most agile of the group. What he lacked in the physical though he made up for in the strength of will along with other mental attributes. He was not leaving. Instead he shifted about, coming out from under the willow tree and scooting about till he lay on his back looking up at the night sky. His head by Wufei's feet.

"It's a gorgeous night out. Look, you can actually see the L3 colony cluster."

Wufei did not even bother to look. The clipped explanation of the mission had brought it all back in full force. Reaching up, he covered his face with his hands. If only he could hear something besides Quatre's gentle voice... the wind rustling the willows... something that would blot of the words he could hear so sharply in his mind... his words.

~ "They don't care about me..." Wufei had said. "They each have someone waiting for them... warm beds... companionship... I'm the one who sits awake at night, listening to laughter... moans... silence..." ~

'I'm not an actor,' he thought. 'I shouldn't have been chosen for this. It took too much to convince the enemy.' Not being glib like Duo, Wufei had been forced to pull real thoughts from his mind, real feelings from his heart, and twist them... but only a little.

It had worked.

It had been convincing. And he'd known when he looked in the other two pilot's eyes that they'd heard the words, the tone... and knew it for more than play-acting.

~"Yes, I can take him for you," he'd said, standing over Heero's bound body. "I've wanted him for a long time. I could take any of them... as if they would have me... the outsider... " ~

Wufei dropped his hands to his sides. He stared up at the stars wondering how he was ever going to put his torn mask back together. Heero knew... Trowa knew... how long would it before Duo and Quatre knew?

"Perhaps... it's time for me to take a solo assignment," he said aloud. "A long one."

Quatre moved then. Rolling gracefully to his feet he stepped around Wufei till he once again stood in front of the other young man. Looking up into those dark eyes. Reaching up he brushed his fingers along Wufei's jawline lightly.

"Is that what you really want Wufei?"

Looking down, Wufei said, with surprising bitterness, "What is the good of knowing what you want? It's better to think about what you can live with."

Quatre's pale brows lifted a little but he didn't back down. "Wufei, only you can answer that question. You're limiting yourself. You're so afraid of being hurt again..." He stops and exhales softly. "We don't mean to hurt you Wufei and we don't mean to shut you out." Quatre looked up at him with painfilled eyes, upset that his friend could have gotten to this point without him trying to do something before this.

Wufei's eyes widened, wondering how Quatre could have come up with those words... how could he know... the letter? Heart beating fast, he stared. Such a sweet face, soft lips, beautiful... as each of them was... Bending, he kissed Quatre lightly, not aggressively like before.

Leaning back he said. "It is not your fault, it is not you... any of you... I chose my path."

Quatre's eyes half closed under that soft kiss, studying Wufei for a moment before he reached up and gently caught the back of Wufei's neck. Whispering softly. "Then let your path travel along mine tonight."

Following the words with a kiss. Nothing too aggressive, yet at the same time a caress that spoke of assurance in his actions. His lips parting beneath Wufei's in a silent invitation.

Wufei shivered, tasting the sweetness. Quatre's presence, his energy was so warm, clean... so filled with generosity. 'And I so little deserve it', Wufei thought, even as he accepted the offering. He kissed Quatre deeply, promising himself he would stop soon. This wasn't his to take, it was Trowa's...

For tonight the distinction had been set aside and Quatre set about imparting this fact to the boy his kissed. His own tongue darted out, entwining itself in a little tussle with Wufei's before delving into the other boy's mouth, tasting and sharing pleasure and heat. A soft little whimper escaped him, feed down Wufei's throat as he took a step closer, wrapping his other arm around Wufei's waist.

Wufei felt a surge of emotion fill him at the subtle signs of response from the little one in his embrace. His arms moved around Quatre, holding his slight body against Wufei's more solid form.

'I can't...' He thought... 'even if it's offered ... it will hurt more then next time I'm alone.' His body, however, did not want to obey. It wanted cleansing, healing and he sensed something of that might be possible with the boy in his arms.

Quatre held the offer out there. It really wasn't that much of a hardship. He loved all his comrades. They were as much his family, if not more so then his sisters. Quatre felt his own body respond to the kiss, it's own interest in this known, but unknown form becoming apparent. Figuring he no longer had to physically hold Wufei's mouth to his, Quatre let his hand slide down along the well toned muscles of Wufei's chest.

Wufei growled softly in his throat, feeling Quatre's touch on his chest. One hand slid up into Quatre's hair, massaging his scalp, as he continued to delve into the boy's mouth, invading and retreating, accepting the invasion in turn.

Soon... he would stop this. Soon... he would take control of himself again, find his way back to the Chang Wufei he knew so well. But for a moment... his other hand moved down Quatre's back, sliding down over the curve of his hips.

Quatre took the touch as an invitation and stepped closer. His small fingers quite content to explore Wufei's upper body. It was different then Trowa's. More compact. The muscle trained in a different way.

Wufei moved restlessly. It would be sweet to go further... to try and show the little blonde new ways to enjoy his body... Wufei lifted his mouth, looking into Quatre's face. Breathing a little heavily, he saw nothing in the aqua eyes that indicated judgment or pity. Disengaging from the embrace, Wufei stepped back and knelt in the thick grass, looking up at Quatre.

Kneeling put Wufei's head about level with Quatre's chest. Stepping to the other boy, again, Quatre locked his eyes with Wufei's for a long moment, before taking the upturned face in his small hands and bending down. This time his kisses brushed softly across the bridge of Wufei's eyes and along his temples. Worshipful little touches.

Wufei closed his eyes, moving his hands to stroke lightly down Quatre's hip and along the back of his legs. "This is... not really a good idea... little prince," he whispered softly.

Quatre brushed his lips lightly along well defined cheekbones whispering softly. "Why not? We don't do this behind anyone's back Wufei. I come to you out of my own free will and because I *want* to. I have no regrets, will you? "

Quatre wanted Wufei to know that Trowa.. *knew* while at the same time making it very clear that this wasn't.. a game. He wanted Wufei free to make the decision without worrying about Trowa. Lifting his head a little he let his fingers stroke lightly along Wufei's neck. Giving the other boy the room to make his decision, yet still in contact.. still offering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero made a sound, muffled by the soft silk of Duo's hair where he still held it against his face. "Ya... he... did."

Something wasn't adding up. Or actually, something was adding up in a way that Duo didn't want it to add up.

Heero looked up into Duo's stormy violet eyes. "It was part of the mission, Duo," he spoke very softly.

Clink.. last piece of the puzzle just dropped into place. Damn the way his hair gets yanked at the moment Duo couldn't feel it. Jumping to his feet with a feral growl the long haired American grabbed his jeans jumping into them as he pulled his handgun out of the bedside table. As hyperactive as Duo could be, should it be any wonder that the boy could accomplish this at an amazing speed?

Heero jumped up at almost the same time. He grabbed Duo as the braided boy tore towards the bedroom door and pressed him against the wall forcing the violet eyes to look into his face. "Duo... stop!"

Heero could be single minded when he was after something, and this was a trait that Duo shared, specially when it came to dispensing death. At that moment those laughing violet eyes were near pitch black with rage. Shinigami's eyes. Pushing past Heero with a snarl Duo tore open the door.

"I'm gonna kill him."

Heero tried to grab Duo but missed. "Shit!" he muttered, grabbing his bike shorts and pulling them on quickly as he hauled out the door in pursuit.

A playboy and jokester the American might be, but he was also a hunter in every sense of the word. It didn't take him long to pinpoint the location of his prey. Of course Quatre's bright hair under moonlight did sort of draw the eye and Wufei's white pants stood out as well. Duo hit the stairs at a run, frightening a maid as he leapt impatiently over the bannister, dropping a good 6 feet to the floor.

Scrabbling with bare feet on hardwood floors Duo blasted through the glass doors that lead off the study to the garden. One of the doors shattered as it impacted with the wall. The noise caused Quatre to look up and blink as he caught the flash of moonlight off the muzzle of Duo's weapon.

"Shit!"

Wheeling around Quatre quickly put himself between the kneeling Wufei and the approaching, enraged Duo.

"Get outtah my way Quatre." There was no sanity in Duo's tone only pure death.

Quatre held his ground, snapping out in the voice he used when on the Zero system. "It involved mission integrity Maxwell!"

Duo lifted the weapon looking as if he had no problem what so ever going right through Quatre if he had to.

Wufei came to his feet. "Move, Quatre," he said.

Heero flew out the door only seconds behind Duo. He saw Wufei standing and stopped, unwilling to try and tackle Duo.

It was going to play out.

Duo shifted to aim to Quatre's shoulder as Wufei stood up. Quatre felt the urge to scream with frustration as he stepped back hard and fast, throwing his hip right into Wufei's center of balance, just like Wufei had taught him. The move put Wufei on the ground, leaving Quatre standing firmly between The Chinese boy and the gun.

Wufei snarled with frustration and fear for the blonde who was putting himself in harm's way.

"Heero!" Wufei yelled. "Get Quatre out of here!"

For a minute, Heero didn't respond. Then he darted forward, grabbing Quatre around the waist pulling the smaller boy hard against himself, twisting them both away to one side.

"Let it play out..." Heero spoke flatly in Quatre's ear.

Wufei rolled to his feet and presented himself without ducking or hiding. "Do it, Duo," he growled.

Sweet, innocent little Quatre cut loose with a string of curse words that would have had the Maganacs blushing as he fought Heero's hold, watching Duo's eyes.

"Damn it to hell Heero let go!"

Duo pulled the hammer back on the automatic weapon. Right between the eyes. Moonlight made sighting hard. Quatre thrashed in Heero's hold, snarling out again in that modulated tone he'd used when directing all of them

"Mission Integrity Duo. All three of them would have died otherwise. The mission comes first. It's been our guiding force all our lives! Damn it Heero let me go!"

Wufei looked back into Duo's eyes without flinching. He was simply waiting for death. In his dark eyes there was the tiniest flicker of relief at the thought of dying.

Duo began to tremble. He had the shot lined up. His finger closed on the trigger. He could feel the tension in the trigger, the sweat of his palms against the grip. Quatre's voice tore into his mind, cutting across the pound of blood through his ears and his eyes locked onto Wufei's. Taking in the submissive waiting stance.

Enemies fought back.

Enemies did not turn themselves over to you.

Mission parameter.

Mission Integrity

Survival.

With a howl like a wounded animal Duo sent the gun hurtling away into the shadows, throwing his head back as he screamed into the night air.

End Part 3

Laekin and bonnejeanne

Please send comments to: seregill@aol.com or bonnejeanne@yahoo.com

On to Part 4

Back to Part 2

Back to the Series Index

Back to Laekin's page