Shades of Grey by Laekin and bonnejeanne

Part Thirteen

It took Quatre 3 days to complete his objectives. The three days had been a bit of a vacation for the four pilots left back at the Winner house - no assignments. Wufie spent the time recuperating. It would take the three bullet wounds longer than that to repair, but he'd slept for almost 24 hours solid, once they'd gotten him to bed in his room.

He'd been up, cautiously, testing his body to see how it responded. He'd spent some of the time walking or just meditating in the garden and grounds. He'd hadn't spoken much to anyone in that time but neither had he scowled at anyone either, meeting the eyes of Heero, Duo and Trowa with a somewhat cautious but a bit more open expression. It was fairly easy to tell he'd gone back into himself a little but there didn't seem to be as much of an air of exclusion about him. Rather a feeling of careful quiet waiting.

Even Duo seemed to understand and respect this. Trowa had kept an eye on Wufei but a lot of his attention had been on the reports they could link back to his small lover's actions. Trowa had tried a couple of times to contact Quatre but except for a quick exchange, had been unable to catch up with him.

Trowa himself was in a quiet and fretful mood, though it was hard to tell from but to those who knew him it was obvious that he was fretting. He didn't say anything to anyone, choosing instead to see to Wufei's needs and to keeping Heero and Duo quiet.

The house had been in a state of high security and the reporters kept well away from the estate so that they four pilots within could rest and relax as much as they wished or were able to.

Once Quatre had finished taking the Preventers apart, he'd turned his attention to assisting Sally with the rebuild operations. In those 72 hours, the Winner name went from a benevolent family, close to being labeled push overs, to being a political force to be feared.

The political bodies of the colonies were not the only ones who found themselves surprised by Quatre Winner's aggressiveness. Many of the men working for WEI were stunned by the younger Winner's actions and Quatre was spending a lot of his time dealing with their outrage.

It was about 6 in the morning when Quatre returned to his estates back on Earth. Quatre had caught himself a quick shower in the downstairs bathroom off his study and was in the midst of toweling his hair dry while simultaneously locking horns with someone.

"I don't care if it's never been that way before Pricilla. It's that way now! Send me the proposals and I'll look over them, but don't you dare go and sign my name to something I haven't approved."

"Master Quatre, I have always had..."

"And you do not anymore!" Quatre snapped as he sent the towel winging towards the bathroom. "I've made myself clear on this. Respect it or suggest someone to me who will."

The threat was implicit. The woman on the screen paled a little, looking a touch miffed at having her power taken away from her then bowed her head and the communication ended. No sooner had it ended then the next popped up. Quatre growled as he dug around for a fresh tie.

"Master Quatre.. about these reports...."

Wufei heard the voices and stopped in the door of the study for a minute watching. His chest and shoulder were bandaged but the bandages were hidden by a loose white shirt, which hung out untucked over a pair of wheat-colored pants of a loose style that was traditional garb for peasants in China. His feet were not clad in his usual black cloth shoes but in a pair of tan thongs.

He watched Quatre dress as if to go back out again and nodded to himself, a very faint curve at the corner of his mouth. He'd watch for a moment, then continue out to the garden. The sky was overcast but the willows were calling.

Exhaustion was affecting Quatre's natural awareness and he seemed not to take notice of the boy standing quietly in the doorway as he pulled the tie around his neck. Finishing buttoning up his shirt as he listened.

"...and you're going to need to see those reports before the 2:00 zoning meeting..."

"Zoning meeting?"

"Yes Master Quatre, don't you remember it's... " Quatre faded out the rest of the man's words as he turned and called up his planner. Sure enough.. sitting there at 2:00.. a meeting. As with the first schedule Wufei had seen, this day was also packed to the gills, starting at 8:00am and running all the way through to a social function of some sort at 9:00pm.

Quatre's fingers stopped reaching for the tie and for a moment he just braced his hands on his desk, letting his head hang between his shoulders.

Wufei said softly from the door, "And *I* am supposed to be unapproachable."

The sound caught Quatre's attention and his head whipped up and around, eyes focusing on Wufei. To say that Quatre looked like hell was a kindness but those turquoise eyes lit up for a moment with genuine pleasure before becoming hooded and guarded.

Wufei walked into the study, looked up at the schedule, and reached over, his right hand moving slowly as if his arm might be painful and he simply blanked all the entries for the day out, deleting them completely.

Then, one-handed, he typed. 'Team... Meditation... All... Day...'

Quatre blinked, then bit his lower lip, looking as if he might protest.

Wufei saw the protest and did something rather rare. He smiled. "Maybe I can save you again..." he said quietly.

If it were possible for Quatre to go even paler he did. Still, something in the maelstrom of his soul caught and locked into place and he turned towards he desk, keying in a couple of codes. A young woman, bright with intelligent blue eyes answered immediately.

"Yes Master Winner?"

"Alexis, my schedule needs to be cleared for the day. Tell Henri and Molichi to take the 8:00 meetings down here on Earth, they have the paperwork and are up to date. The 10:00 and 11:00 can be shifted to tomorrow, I'll double them up Move the lunch with Senator Mist to... Friday...."

Wufei reached out as Quatre was speaking and placed his fingers on the small blonde's lips.

Quatre stopped in midsentance and shot Wufei a puzzled glance.

"Alexis?" Wufei said.

The young woman looked confused for a moment, then her eyes registered recognition and her tone was respectful as she answered him.

"Yes Mr. Wufei?"

"No mister," he said. "Quatre's schedule must be cleared today and from now on, please see to it that you remove half of everything he has scheduled each day. Someone else can do it. You can do it, I bet, Alexis. Master Quatre needs a full half day free from now on, each day, no exceptions. This means you simply have to decide what is most important. Because if you don't..." he said, looking into Quatre's aqua eyes, "He will loose the things he values most. Do you understand, Alexis?"

The professional young woman tried to keep her face properly respectful and neutral but the hints of an approving smile leaked around the corner of her pretty lips.

" I'll get to work on it. "

Quatre's eyes widened looking at Wufie and there was enough of a storm cloud in their depths to show that this discussion wasn't quite over yet, but he wasn't going to press it at the moment.

"Thank you Alexis. Please hold his calls for the rest of the day. You and you alone must call only if there is a true emergency," Wufei said, continuing to meet Quatre's gaze. Then he ended the call.

Without a word, he moved forward and carefully put his arms around the blond, holding him. Quatre stood there in that sort of deer in headlights manner. His arms automatically lifted to return the embrace though at the last moment he reminded himself not to be too enthusiastic careful not to squeeze the stuffing out of Wufei. A soft breath escaped him. His small form practically vibrating with a lot of emotions and a well of an unreleased, explosive something that he'd been using work to escape.

Wufei stroked his back gently, wincing a little as his upper body protested the movement. "I thought you would at least come back to see how Duo was. Maybe how I was," he said quietly.

Quatre flinched and gently but firmly disengaged himself. Backing up a little till his waist hit the back of the desk, preventing his minor retreat further. His head ducked he peeked out at the scene to be found outside his window.

"I... checked with Trowa but I had my hands full. The situation went deeper and further then I had originally expected. It took longer then I thought it would. "

"You are running from something," Wufei said simply. "I am an expert on the subject so don't even think of telling me I'm wrong. You worked hard to make sure I would stay here... and for the last day I've been wondering what I am staying for... you were here for me when I thought no one could be. I have been here for you, waiting, all this time."

Quatre again flinched under the words. He looked down at his handmade shoes watching his toes wriggle in the soft leather. Without looking up he began.

"I screwed up. Again my incompetence got someone else hurt. We should have been running for cover, not me having a temper tantrum out in the middle of a firefight."

"True," Wufei acknowledge and his lips pulled to one side. A smile? "Although perhaps not incompetence... you've quite a temper, Winner. That's something else I understand. But I expect you to be able to do... oh... at least what you expected of me. To stay. To talk. To allow someone to help you, even if it isn't me. Trowa has been silently tearing little holes in things when no one is looking."

Quatre sighed softly and gave his head a little shake, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "It upsets Trowa.. when things get to me like this. He doesn't yet know how to deal with it, at the same time he feels at a loss that he can't. I usually try to... not rub his face in it when it happens."

"So, rub it in mine."

Quatre squared up his shoulders, lifting his head and it took him a moment but he looked over to Wufei. "A lot of things... I let them get to me and I made wrong decisions. You and Duo got hurt." He stopped and then amended. "A lot of people got hurt."

"Listen carefully, Winner," Wufei said in a dry voice that sounded like the old Wufei. "You are not responsible for everything that occurs in the world. That's arrogance."

A small spark ignited in Quatre's eyes. "Like thinking it would be easier to die a noble death then to live and keep fighting a hard fight? I guess you could say I come by *that* arrogance legitimately in my genetic make up." The last but was ground out in a snarl as Quatre straightened and stalked away from the desk, walking over to the far bay window on the otherside of the room.

Wufei sighed and rubbed his shoulder. He sat on the edge of the big desk. "Arrogance is not genetic," he said in the same cool tone. He didn't feel cool, but he realized that there was a small chance that he could do something here that Trowa or one of the others might not be able to.

"Arrogance is something people acquire when they start thinking more about themselves than about others. Such as... '*I* screwed up'.... instead of, 'my friends are hurt, I wonder if I can do anything to comfort them... I wonder if my presence would comfort them'...."

Quatre shoulders tightened and his next words were spoken extremely softly. "I suppose I was afraid that the answer would be no. So I choose to do something that would have tangible effect."

"You sound exactly like me."

The Arabian gave a little bit of a nod. "Different approaches... but perhaps we're all more alike then when realize. Perhaps that's what helps us be a team."

"More likely it's what keeps trying to tear us apart," Wufei said quietly. "So... this means you approve if I say, I care about you, so instead of telling you so, since I'm afraid you might not react positively, I'll simply stay in my room, go out on missions, and look for an opportunity to die for you."

Quatre whipped around, eyes flashing. "Of course not!" His sweet tones were strained and panicked.

"Then don't do it either. Dying slowly is no different than dying quickly. This 'work' is killing you. Your spirit first, your body quickly follows." Wufei said, meeting Quatre's eyes with his own - dark, calm, rock-solid with conviction.

Quatre turned back and continued to gaze out the window. A number of responses worked their way to his lips but never past. It might have seemed as if the silence would stretch on indefinitely. Then the tension ran out of Quatre's body, leaving him to sag against the cool glass.

"I... do this because it's a useful little whip. Everytime I sign my name "Master Winner" or take a call on WEI business... or hell walk into the buildings... I remember that I'm doing this because my failure got my father killed. That his own... stubbornness... and the damn war. He should still be doing this Wufei." Quatre straightened almost immediately. "But, he's not... I am and I can't whine about it. Instead I guess I like to twist it around." A little chuckle devoid of any sort of humor escaped him.

Wufei nodded. "I understand," he said, and his low resonant voice throbbed with it. "Every time I fought with Nataku... every battle, every kill, every mission... was because I failed my wife. Every one. Every success, every failure... was dipped in Meiran's blood. I wasn't always what you know. But here I am. So perhaps we are both doomed... do you think so, Quatre? But once I thought... a blonde Arabian prince tried to show me that there could be more to my life. That I had merit. That there were those who accepted me as I am. That I was allowed to live. What happened to him, I wonder. Did he lie to me?"

Quatre shook his head vehemently, nearly moaning out the word. "No.. no. You do have merit Wufei, please.. don't use that weapon against me. I *hear* you.. but please don't do that." Quatre lifted his hands as if to block his own ears and slide down to sit on the floor, his back against the wall and his arms tucked over his head.

Wufei moved quickly across the room, ignoring his stiffness. He knelt in front of the little blonde and touched his arms gently.

"It's not a weapon." Wufei said softly. "It's hope. If my life has merit, beyond trying to atone for my wife's death, then yours must also. It must, Quatre. It must. No... exceptions just for Winners. You can live for your father, or you can live for yourself, and us. Just the same as I. It's not a weapon, Quatre... I don't want to hurt you. Pick it up and fight with it. Fight your doubts, your fears. Fight with me so I don't have to be alone. I will fight, if you will."

Quatre remained tucked into his small ball for a few more moments after the last word had died off. Then, slowly he peeked up at Wufei. His light eyes a little clearer then they had been, wounded perhaps, but not beaten.. healing even. "I suppose that's only... equal."

Wufei bent slowly and touched his lips to Quatre's forehead. "You are needed here," he said. "So you, too, must stay."

Quatre gave a little hic-up breath. "No more racing off to avenge wrongs done to my friends eh?" Leaning into that soft touch, stopping himself from burrowing against the other boy's stiff body at the last second and in fact winced worried. "You shouldn't be down here on the floor."

Wufei scowled. "There is nothing wrong with my legs. The floor is not a problem. And the best cure for stiff muscles is to move. I'm not a coward.. not afraid of a little pain," he said in a very Wufei-like tone. Then he smiled slightly. "You've damned me to staying here... the least you can do is keep me company. Trowa's silent fidgeting must stop or I will be driven to distraction. And Duo tiptoeing around is sending my blood pressure sky-high, I am certain of it. I'm quite sure you could fix all these things if you weren't so busy with your other affairs."

Again, Quatre gave a little hic-up. "Trowa you can distract with an injured pet. I often encourage him to go down to the local vet office and put in some time just working with the animals. I do this even when he's not fidgeting. It helps soothe him. Duo likes to read classic maritime adventure novels. Horatio Hornblower, Patrick O'Brian.. things like that. But he'd die before he'd admit to reading.. so if you just happen to leave a copy of one of those laying out, he'll sneak off with it and be quiet for hours on end. They're in my library."

"I have no intention of doing these things," Wufei said, brushing Quatre's bangs back. "You do them. If I did them, they would each look at me like I'd grown a second head. If you do them, they will work. No getting out of it."

Quatre chuckled softly. "I'm just saying...if it happens again and I'm..." He stopped the words before finishing them. Catching his lower lip between his teeth, he squirmed about till he could rest his head lightly on Wufei's knee.

"Better," Wufei said, taking a deep breath, then covering a slight wince as it pulled damaged muscles. "Better. Now it's time for you to do the real work you need to do. Not rebuilding the Preventers from the ground up. Leave some for Sally, she has as much guilt as you or moreso. No, definitely moreso, in this. Leave WEI. If you have any competent people at all, it will take care of itself. If you don't, why are you bothering with it? Time to find out what you have left here."

Quatre didn't move from his rest against the other boy. He lifted a hand and rubbed lightly at the wheat-colored fabric of Wufei's pants as he took a breath.

"What do I have left here?"

"The remains of a team of Gundam pilots," Wufei says softly. "Four rather psychotic people who seem to have some care for each other. The rest... you tell me."

Quatre again lapsed into silence, deep in thought. His hand moved to rest along Wufei's leg. "I am still Master Winner. It is who I was born to be Wufei. But you are right in that I don't need to let it define who I am. As for the other... I have my four friends whom I love and who are my family. You're right in that I need to take some time working at holding that family together. I still believe that we ... we do well for each other.. ALL of us."

Wufei made a soft exhale sound which might have been some form of a laugh. "All right, little brother. Point taken. I have bent more in the last few days than I thought I could. Enough. Give me time to assimilate it. Things are not... the way I believed. I accept it. Satisfied?"

Quatre chuckled softly and gave the leg he was curled up around another rub. "Alright... I will try not to press. But you know how it is. If Duo isn't leading the charge I'm usually running over him to lead it. Both of us can have the same tact as bulls in a china shop."

"You are both very sensitive," Wufei said quietly. Then he added. "You are forbidden from mentioning that I said this to the baka."

"He probably wouldn't believe me if I did. So of course then he'd go to you and you'd know I told him and I'd be hiding under the carpet tacks for the next month." A gentle pinch from slender fingers accompanied the teasing words.

"Cease pinching, Winner" Wufei said. He stroked Quatre's hair. "Why have you not taken a turn in the kitchen?" Wufei said suddenly. "Are you an incompetent cook?"

Quatre nodded vigorously. "Ask Trowa. I blew up the microwave when I tried to heat up a can of peas. I didn't realize you were supposed to take the peas out of the can first. Made sense to me that the peas would get warmer in the metal can, I mean.. pots are metal right? Conducts heat. Yes.. well... then I tried to make Trowa a soft boiled egg. One egg in about 5 quarts of water. The water boiled over, hit the burners and set them on fire. See.. I thought I'd make the egg taste better and I put some olive oil in the water... then there was the incident with the oven and the popcorn. After they got the oven door out of the far wall, my loyal servants begged me to just leave the cooking to them. Trowa agreed. The few times I didn't blow up the kitchen, he's had to actually eat what I prepared. He did balk at the time I forgot to take the plastic wrap off the lasagna though."

"He can repair a Gundam, but doesn't understand the principles of a microwave," Wufei muttered. "Well, I am not cooking but I have imposed on Sally's guilt. She is sending over a large Chinese meal tonight, with several courses. You will have to help me arrange things, I would rather not carry breakables."

"I can carry things just fine and Gundams make infinitely more sense then a microwave." Quatre gave a wounded little sniff. "I can make tea."

Wufei looked interested. "Yes?"

Quatre nodded. "MmHmm."

"I would like some tea. I have my own. But I have not been feeling like dealing with a pot of boiling water much." Wufei said.

It took a moment for the small hint to land. Having finally slowed down a hair, Quatre's overtaxed mind and body were slowing down a lot. Blinking he picked himself up from where he rested against Wufei's leg and peered at the Chinese boy for a moment before blushing a little and grinning in a pleased manner.

"I think I can handle boiling water."

End Part 13

Laekin and bonnejeanne

Please send comments to: seregill@aol.com or bonnejeanne@yahoo.com

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