29-Aug-2000
Title: The Great Jello Crusade
Author: Jay/dem. Contactable at carboxylated@yahoo.com
Archive: Uh... no one in their right mind would want to.
Category: HUMOR. Yaoi/Shonen ai.
Pairings: 1+2, 3x4
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is quite sadly not mine, but in fact the property of Bandai, Sunrise, and other large corporations and companies I have no affiliation with (Again, quite sadly.)
Warning/Rating: R? PG-13? If you don't like yaoi... don't bother.
Feedback: Er... sure!
Even tea lost its flavor after a while.
Sorry old friend, Quatre thought as he placed the cup down, but cold mint tea just isn't doing it today. Then he caught himself.
/Uh oh. I'm talking to teacups again./ He eyed the cup warily. /Hmm... why isn't it talking back./
"Baka."
"That was uncalled for, little one," he scolded.
Duo sat down across from him. "Little one? May I remind you that I'm both taller and heavier than you?"
Quatre jumped. "Oh... I thought it was..."
"The teacup?"
"Hmm. Sally's gonna have to hear about this..."
Quatre hastily grabbed the teacup and hugged it to his body, looking hurt, and ignoring the spreading stain on his shirt. "No!" His voice was slightly hysterical. "It's my friend! MY FRIEND!"
Duo sighed and looked at the snow storm raging outside.
Cabin fever was a funny thing.
"At least the water's running," murmured Trowa. He made a face. They'd sent out Duo to get supplies and he stopped by the warehouse and got a crate of Jello mix. What the hell could you do with that much Jello?
Suddenly, he smiled.
"Duo, you fiend."
Duo stared at the empty bottle of vodka critically. He tipped it over and looked up into the bottle. Hmm. It appeared to be empty.
Wufei staggered up to grab a bottle of gin. Methodically opening it carefully in the way only drunk people can be careful, he poured himself a shot.
Heero looked at the swirling snow.
/Hn. Pretty./
That was the extent of how he was wasted.
/Very pretty./
He looked at Duo.
/Prettiest./
Duo sniffed, apparently injured by something. "I.. hic! Heeeerrrrrooooo? Hic!"
Heero narrowed his eyes and said (in what he hoped was a deadly voice), "Yes, honey-bunny?"
"Who's your sugar daddy?" Duo purred.
Heero hiccuped and slurred: "Ah'm... yer... daddy..."
Wufei would have spouted a tremendous nosebleed.
Had he been conscious.
Quatre walked into his library, took one look at the his friends, and then left.
Duo had initially invited him, muttering something about keeping warm. He didn't understand. They had heating. They had food.
Well... they had jello. That was *close* to food substances, wasn't it?
/Wasn't it?!/
Trowa shifted uncomfortably and looked at the package.
This took a damn long time to solidify.
"Quatre..."
It came from the bathroom.
/Oh... God.../ Quatre clutched his teacup.
"Come here, little one..."
Oh, it was only Trowa.
Quatre walked into the bathroom, only to squeak and drop his teacup. It shattered on the floor. He never noticed. Instead, he stared at the green-eyed creature in front of him.
Who was stark naked.
In a bathrub.
Full of red jello.
Doing the first thing that came to mind, he fell to his knees. "Thank you, Allah!"
And then he climbed into the bathtub.
Duo was dragging Heero upstairs to their bedroom. Not like he'd be getting any action tonight, he noted.
Suddenly, he stopped.
/I must be more wasted than I thought. If I didn't know better, I'd have sworn that was Trowa and Quatre... covered in red jello... disappearing into their room... hmm.../
He shrugged and dragged Heero into the room, pointedly ignoring the trail of red jello from the bathroom into the hall.
[the next day]
Duo's loud, rather annoyed voice cut through the kitchen.
"OK, who has the whipcream and Jell-O?"
FIN!
Jay
Taunts, cheers, marriage proposals, and death threats should be sent to the hapless author here!