From: "deus ex machina." <carboxylated@yahoo.com>
(This is somewhat long. And blame the fact that I'm not getting
any Chinese food today. Stupid friends.)
Tyr wrote:
>
> I also find those funny... What do you suppose is wrong with
us?
My friend, we are known as the HENTAI.
::pulls down chart of normal looking, average, everyday
citizen::
Behind our facade of normalcy--
::points at figure::
--we are actually deep in the throes of obsession. Yes, it could
be me,
it could be you, it could be your neighbor's little dog too!
::pulls down picture of Heero::
When we see a picture of such a--
::fingers make quote marks::
--"anime male hottie" ::ahem:: better known as a
"bishounen" we react in
a way that IS NOT NATURAL.
::writes that::
Man has five distinct ways of reacting to a situation-- we fight,
we
flee, um... I forget the third, we want to have sex, and we want to
eat.
All five of those are ways to ENSURE OUR OWN SURVIVAL, OR THE
SURVIVAL
OF OUR SPECIES.
::scrawls that::
However, when introduced to a "bishounen" our instinct is not to
fight
or flee or (if you're female) procreate with them. No. Our instinct
is
to introduce them to *another* bishounen in a closed
environment. (Or
possibly discuss spandex/hammerspace.)
::pulls down picture of Duo::
You see? What is your natural instinct? To jump him, or perhaps,
let
them jump *each other* and videotape the entire thing?
I think we *both* know the answer to that... So you
see...
::flips to picture of ordinary citizen::
Underneath our facade of telephone calls and relatives, there
lurks--
::pulls down picture of grinning maniac typing in front of a
computer
screen::
THE FAN FIC WRITER!
::thunder rolls::
Now, if you don't mind, I have to excuse myself to go to my
underground
den of solitude and write more twisted fiction. :-)
- Jay -
PS: Oh, man, I have *issues*.
Visit Jay's page