August 20, 2001
Title: More Dangerous Liaisons:The Seduction
Pairing: 13x2/2x13
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Language, Lemon, mention NCS, violence and general weirdness.
I’ll get the legal stuff out of the way. Gundam Wing property of Bandai, Sunrise and a host of other people I probably don’t know about. Used for entertainment purposes and because the voices in my head tell me to write this stuff. Scary thought, eh? Not for profit. Characters acting OCC, but in an Alternative Universe you should expect that.
#…# Thoughts/Thinking
“I want to feel you in me.” Treize said softly, gently stoking Duo’s back as they were cuddling in bed. Duo knew that it was meant to be a gesture of comfort and to relax him, but it was also something that was getting him aroused, but his clothes hid that he hoped. Actually, almost any touch of T-chan’s was getting him a bit hard nowadays and it was almost embarrassing, if it hadn’t been so nice. Nothing like eating right and sleeping better to remind his body that it had been a long time since he remembered making love to someone. Howard didn’t count; that had been the crap that the bastard had him strung out on that was controlling the way that he had acted with the man. He would have never been like that with him otherwise; the man did nothing for him sexually or emotionally. Duo wanted to feel T-chan’s gentle touch everywhere on his body. He wanted T-chan to kiss him and then take him, to make him forget what had happened to him and then they could both start healing.
He was still dressing in oversized pajama tops in bed, usually one of T-chan’s now, since T-chan just stopped wearing anything to bed. He had started to be a little more comfortable around T-chan after that horrible drug reaction that he had a few weeks ago. Duo was willing to show a little more of his body now with him and was now willing to wear less around him, shorts in the house at least, even if he wasn’t willing to go topless yet.
Treize was happy that Duo was beginning to feel more at ease around him. His own scars might help in that matter, since he knew how uncomfortable he had been with Miri’s perfect body and his scarred one. However, since his body was as imperfect as Duo’s, he thought that was what was making him finally let him see glimpses of his body. That and the fact that he was wearing as little as possible when they were alone, teasing Duo by flirting with him and letting him see all the physical scarring that he had.
Duo was still very self-conscious about anyone seeing the mutilations that Howard had done to him. Treize had days that he wanted to hunt down Howard and torture him slowly for what he had done to Duo. What ever possessed the man to think that Duo would happily accept a collar fastened around his neck from anyone? He wasn’t even going to think about the rings and the other things that Howard had done to Duo. He knew that it could be worse, he had seen some pictures of what people had voluntarily done to their bodies when they pierced themselves from some of the research that Duo had done, trying to figure out what the hell Howard had been thinking, if they were decorative or symbolic or what. Frantic little research forays that Duo needed to do to try and make sense of the mutilations that Howard had subjected him to. Treize still remembered the picture of a penis and scrotum that had so many rings and bars inserted in them that it took him a minute to figure out what he was looking at. Howard could have done that to Duo; that he didn’t was a good thing. That he had done it at all made him want to smash the man into little pieces after he got his twisted reasoning out of him of why he even thought of doing that to Duo or to anyone. And Howard had thought that Miri was abusive!
Duo laughed softly and curled up around T-chan, glad that the other had started to sleep in the nude, since it made distracting him during an argument much more convenient, because arguing with T-chan was never easy for him and he hated doing it. He wasn’t going to give in on this point, since he didn’t want to take T-chan, not yet. T-chan needed the change of switching roles in bed, to try and forget everything that Miri, that bastard, had done to him. Besides he liked the feel of T-chan inside him, but T-chan was getting tense about something he was thinking about, he hoped that it wasn’t his refusal about taking things further physically, no matter who was doing what to whom during sex. Or was it the fact that his cock had reacted to what T-chan was doing to him? He had switched positions to hide that reaction more then anything else, but T-chan wasn’t stupid, he’d figure out why Duo was squirming in bed with him, was that what was making him tense now?
Duo was still unsure if he was able to have T-chan get intimate with him, he felt really ugly still. He wasn’t that comfortable about being naked around T-chan yet, even though he had seen him in all his ‘glory’ more then once. He still wasn’t as comfortable with his body as T-chan was his now, with the way that T-chan was willing to let it all hang out.
Duo threw a leg of the other’s thighs and slowly teased the tip of his cock, with his fingers, to distract T-chan, taking advantage of T-chan’s nudity. No way would he do that to him, not now. All the metal that was on him wouldn’t be comfortable inside someone, which was the second argument he was going to give if T-chan persisted with this discussion. He didn’t want to hurt his lover making love to him. T-chan had had enough of pain with Mirialdo.
“I think we might be the only couple that would argue about wanting to be the bottom during sex, because most of them argue about topping, I read that someplace. Even though I think that they are of the most inaccurate terms to describe the positions. I like the Japanese words, uke and seme better. Receiver and giver. Also couples do switch, it’s not written in stone. We just…I like being the sub and you were kinda of a control freak then, so we never thought about it. We didn’t have a lot of time to experiment actually, so it never was an issue.” Duo said slowly, not wanting to discuss Luxembourg with him right then. He had been terrified that he was going to hurt him by doing something wrong. He also wasn’t too confident about his own reactions right now, so him taking charge like that wasn’t a good idea with them still trying to figure out things. He knew that he was being selfish about making T-chan do all the ‘work’ since he was mentally as messed up as he was.
T-chan squirmed and seized Duo’s wrist. “I told you that I wasn’t going to enjoy that again unless you did, including you making a mess on the bed. I…”
Duo smiled, and then leaned over to start licking the fingers that grasped his wrist. Treize moaned and shuddered, melting at the feel of Duo’s tongue on his skin. The argument was forgotten as he enjoyed Duo’s teasing him. Duo was an imp about teasing him, but he wasn’t going to give in because he was driving him insane with his tongue. They could talk about this later when his brain restarted, as soon as all the blood left his groin. It was silly that such a simple action, like the feel of Duo’s tongue on his fingers could get him hard. But then he was willing to bet that Duo was reacting to a lot of his ‘simple’ touches the same way, from the way that he acted sometimes.
“I like making you feel good. I…I just don’t want to ruin it for you, by jumping at the phantoms that I see.” Duo explained. “Or hear.” #You don’t need me screwing you up more, flinching when you touch me because I think that you’re someone else.#
“When’s the last time that someone made love to you?” Treize asked softly, he could finish the other conversation later. He thought he knew the answer to his question. Luxembourg, when the two of them were last together. Before Duo started the downward spiral of his sanity, due to his loneliness in Space and his experiences with Epyon. He wished he could remember more of his life with Duo, give him some clue to gauge how far he could go with him. Luxembourg he felt was something that he should remember; something happened there that Duo didn’t want to talk about, but had been important for the two of them, besides being the place that Duo had had his brains scrambled by Epyon.
“Would you believe that you are the only person that ever made love to me?” Duo asked, looking up at T-chan through the veil of his bangs, hiding his eyes and the pain in them. “I got fucked a lot for money, favors or power. You are the only one that ever made love to me. And the only other person who might have was Solo. But he thought I was too young to understand what he felt about me, but I wasn’t really. But as soon as he died, I was charging for what I wanted to give to him free, and what I’d wanted to wait for and discover with him.”
Treize leaned down and kissed Duo on the forehead. “I’m sorry.” #Oh Duo, is that why you’re so skittish that about the fact that I want you, think that you are attractive and could love you no matter what you had done in you life, because the few that had loved you that deeply, have all died on you? I’ve already died once, I’m safe, I swear.#
Duo made a dismissive gesture with his free hand. “It happened. I just wished that I could have saved that for you.”
“Then you wouldn’t have been the Duo that I love.” Treize replied gently. #The things that you hate are what made you the person that you are today. It’s hard for you to understand, but I will still love you, even if you think that you are a disgusting person, because you were strong enough to survive the terrible things that you had to do. Doing bad things doesn’t make you a bad person, you were caught up in a situation that you had no control over, don’t hate yourself for that. Don’t hate yourself for being the survivor.#
“I know, you told me once that I was who I was because of all that I went through, or something like that. But it doesn’t stop the speculation, maybe because I’ve seen the ‘might have beens’ that Epyon showed me. It was interesting, seeing all those things, even if they drove me crazy sometimes.” Duo finished thoughtfully. #You don’t love me, you just think that you do…because I got you out of there and you are confusing gratitude with love, I think. I am confusing you and I hate it, because I torture myself with the hope that it might be true, that you could love me again. You deserve someone so much better, someone that is an untouched as you are by the war. You let Miri do all those things to you because you didn’t know any different and you really didn’t have a choice, you should find a lover that isn’t as damaged as I am to show you how good love is. Why did you fixate on me?#
“Will you tell me what it showed you?” Treize asked quietly. #Tell me what you heard from that monster, tell me what ghosts I have to fight and what windmills I can kill for you. How I can protect you, since no one ever managed to do that for you. Let me love and cherish you, as you deserve.#
Duo sighed and sat up to curl up into a ball, resting his head on his knees and looking at Treize with sad eyes. “It told me a lot of stuff…weird stuff too. That you and Wufei were together, that you were lovers, not us. That Zechs never left you. That…I had a family and never got involved in the fighting, that I never had to kill or fuck someone for money. I was the bad guy and you were fighting for freedom. That we were working together against the colonies, I was a mole for OZ. Changes that happened because of little things…or it might have just been showing me alternative pasts…alternative futures …things that I didn’t like or understand. Places and people that I don’t think exist, but…I saw them. It’s strange. I only spent about two or three hours in the thing and it freaked me out for months. Heero logged in about thirty or more hours in combat in the ZERO system. He…he said that it didn’t talk to him. It just showed him what his target was going to do or could do, so that he could take it out. But after he was out of it, after it was all over, he didn’t have a problem with that system. Life in general had been a little too overwhelming for him, but I think that was another issue that he had.
J’s training never let him think about after the war, since the way he acted he thought that he was supposed to die at the end of it or before, he tried often enough to kill himself. He survived everything and it was confusing for him, experiencing so many things that were new to him, like love and friendship.
The ZERO system showed Quatre sorta the same things that I saw I think, but ZERO never talked to them afterwards, it never called to them across Space. It had a seductive siren’s call that I heard, that crossed so many kilometers to talk to me. I’d hear Epyon, just on the edge of things…a whisper that sometimes bothered me in Shinigami. I don’t know which was worse, that I was alone out there or that Epyon was talking to me so much, show me things that couldn’t exist or shouldn’t exist.” #There, you know how crazy I am, so how can you love me? I just told you that what should be an inanimate object was talking to me and that still is at times, I think. Some of the dreams that I have makes me think that it’s still active, even though no one can find it. Epyon most likely had been destroyed in the Final Battle, when Heero blew up the Libra. I hope that that it has been, I don’t think that any of us should fight it again, never mind go near it.#
“Thank you for telling me this. I understand that you don’t like to talk about it.” Treize said, leaning over to kiss Duo on the forehead. He noticed that Duo curled up in a ball a lot; was he trying to hide from something? Treize had a vague feeling that Duo had been more of a sprawler, trying to claim as much space as possible with his body, before he was tortured. He didn’t like the fact that Duo was trying to be small. Had Space really made him feel that insignificant? Or was it something that Miri did to him? Was it Howard’s treatment of him, with those rings that he put in his body that scarred his fragile soul when he tried to control him?
“You cried when I came back…you told me that you couldn’t face it again…so you understood once. But you told me that you never used it in combat, just made it to test out some theory, to get some answers. I wonder if you got them?” Duo speculated aloud, twiddling a lock of hair.
“I just wonder whatever possessed me to create that thing?” Treize mused. #Something so powerful and I have no idea how it was made, there might be records in Luxembourg, but do I really want to know who I was or how I made something that powerful and that corrupting? Should anyone know about it? What happened to it? Does Miri have Epyon or was it destroyed?#
Duo shrugged and wrinkled his brow, trying to remember the conversation. After a while he said softly, “You said that it was an experiment…that you wanted some answers. That it told you that you had to die for peace to come to Earth and the colonies. But…after that battle you were mentioning something about demons, so I don’t know what you saw. Maybe you saw all this happening, that thing might have given you the idea that playing with Wufei was a good thing, during the last battle. That you could fake your death that way, by having him ‘kill’ you. But something slipped and you ended up almost dead and Mirialdo rescuing you.” Duo was silent for a moment, before continuing in a softer tone, bothered by his memories. “I passed out after the climbing out of that thing in Luxembourg and you took me back to your quarters. Then Mirialdo broke into the apartment that you were being kept in and threatened you. I barely chased him off by bluffing him out and after an hour of waiting for him to get out of the area, I then went to tell the rest of the guys what happened. Then…we all went into Space…and I was alone for so long.” Duo finished in a whisper. He buried his face in Treize’s shoulder, trying not to cry. He hated remembering what had happened. He clung to T-chan tightly, as if trying to make sure that he was there, that he was real.
Treize slowly drew Duo onto his lap, letting the younger man cling to him. He didn’t mind that. It was strange being the comforter, instead of the one that was usually clinging to Miri, because of whatever he had done to him, making him cry in his arms because he had hurt him. “Its okay Duo. You’re not alone now. You’re with me.”
“I got used to it. Being alone. At our cabin, the summer there was so beautiful. It was quiet at night. I heard the birds and other animals, but no people. We’ve got about 40 acres surrounding us. It’s all woods and we can’t develop it, so no one’s ever gonna be near us. Winter…I heard the snow fall, I never heard that before.” Duo said, nuzzling Treize’s shoulder.
He was unaware of the use of our instead of I. Duo always thought of that cabin as their place, so even if they didn’t stay together, he’d let T-chan use it. Hell he might never go back there again if they didn’t stay together, no reason to be tortured by the past, if the future didn’t contain the hope of making it work with T-chan.
“It's nice being the only person around for kilometers.” Treize said quietly, sharing part of his life in that big house with Miri. He wanted him to know that it hadn’t been all violence, that Treize had some contentment there, that it had been good for him sometimes. “We have to visit the cabin together some time during the winter, so that we can have a snowball fight.”
“I’d like that…what was it like for you…what did you think of when you got to be alone?” Duo asked curiously, resting his head on T-chan’s shoulder. He just wanted to stay here a little while longer, he wanted to keep on touching him, feeling his body near his; just to be held by T-chan was wonderful. Was that why he wasn’t that interested in having sex with him, because he could be held by T-chan now and that was still a miracle to him?
“I really didn’t think about much…I wondered about my dreams in the beginning. About what or whom I was seeing in them, guessing who all those people were. Later, I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why I wasn’t enjoying what Miri and I were doing sexually, I had let him have all the control. I know that he needed that, but I wondered why I wasn’t enjoying the pain…he said that I had before.” Treize let his voice trail off and hugged Duo closer, needing the comfort of him in his arms. “On the last day, I wondered if I had the strength to get us out of there. I didn’t want to be Miri’s trophy any more. You knew something about me, about my past and I wanted answers again. I wasn’t willing to be oblivious or passive anymore. I wanted to know all the secrets that you three were hiding from me, how you all knew each other. How you knew me. I walked about all morning, then after lunch I wrote Miri a note, explaining why I was leaving and got us out of there. I told him that I might be back, after I had gotten the answers that I was looking for, but I don’t think so now. I know too much. I realized that there is something better out here, away from Miri, for me. It’s you, Duo.”
“Is it?” Duo asked quietly, voicing his fears. “Or is it that you are just grateful that I got you out of there?” he had said it finally and he was glad. This was something that they had to talk about, before they went any further in their relationship.
Treize frowned and looked down at Duo. He was still cuddling him, since he hadn’t physically retreated after that question, which was a good sign. It would be difficult for both of them, but they were going to have to talk this over. He knew that Duo was still very uneasy about committing himself to anyone because he thought that he wasn’t ‘good’ enough in so many ways to be with anyone. “I know that I’m not doing this because I am grateful to you. If that had been the case, wouldn’t I have stayed with Quatre and the rest of them when they took us in? I know that they would have been very willing to have me stay. I don’t know if I would have become part of what is going on there, but you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. I think that they would have watched out for me, tried to be my friend and would have taken care of me.”
Duo laughed shakily, “I would have worried in any case. You…you needed to know a lot of things that the others couldn’t tell you, that you might have been curious about eventually. I was willing to tell you more about yourself, when you had gotten used to being away from him.” Duo didn’t even want to say Mirialdo’s name all of a sudden, “There were some things that they couldn’t tell you. And other things, like New Edwards, too much pain for them for them to remember. Heero, he hated himself for a long time after that, I think that he was glad for the order to self destruct when it came, from the way that he acted afterwards.”
“What did he do?” Treize asked.
“Heero, after he spent a month recovering after blowing himself up, chased around Europe with Trowa, asking all the relatives of the people on that plane that he destroyed if they would kill him, because he deserved it. They all said no.” Duo told him, “I think that it was the last lady that he talked to, General Noventa’s widow that told him they were all soldiers and they expected to die in battle. He hadn’t done anything wrong when he killed them, so he should stop punishing himself; Heero stopped trying to after that and went back to the fighting.”
“Quatre said that Heero had hated himself for a while after New Edwards, but I didn’t think that it was that bad.” Treize remarked quietly.
Duo shrugged, “It was that bad as far as I could tell, but we had just found out about each other so we weren’t really close. I think that was the one of the few times that he really screwed up on a mission and he expected to be punished for it. So I really don’t want to know what had been done to him growing up, if he wanted to kill himself for screwing up.”
“So I am not here with you out of pity. Or because I owe you anything.” Treize told Duo, getting back on the topic of their discussion. “I’m here because I want to be. And now…I want to feed you breakfast because you are too skinny still!”
Duo laughed and stretched, uncurling from around Treize, they had managed to make some progress in their relationship. He liked these early morning talks, they cleared up a lot of the doubts that he had in his mind and he got to touch T-chan and snuggle with him like he wanted to. “You’re just here because you can bully me,” he teased him. He was unprepared for the way that T-chan just went still on him.
“I am not bullying you, am I?” Treize asked in a quiet voice. He didn’t want Duo to think that he was going to be like this all the time, just until Duo found more of himself, felt more confident. He was getting better; he could see that, he could see the progress that Duo had made during their time here. Duo was a lot more outgoing than he had been in the beginning.
Wearing only a top to bed was a big step forward for Duo. Most of the time he was even comfortable enough around him not dress in the bathroom anymore, to wear less layers of clothing around him. In public, Duo was less tense, he was alert for trouble but he didn’t seem as nervous as he had been on the trip to this colony. Treize had sworn that he was going to jump out of his skin most of the time in the terminal and on the cab ride to the apartment. They had had a lot of fun playing tourist and eating out on this colony. There had been trouble, but not much and most of it from idiots that didn’t think that two males should have a romantic relationship, since they had started holding hands in public. Once he had even managed a steal a chaste kiss from Duo. The trouble could have been because Duo looked about fourteen, since he was so short. Duo had healed himself a lot in the short time that they were here and he was so proud of him.
“T-chan, look at me.” Duo said calmly, shifting so that he could stare straight into his eyes. “You haven’t forced me to do anything that I didn’t want to. You have helped me a lot and I can’t thank you enough for that. I don’t think that I’ll ever be cured, the damage was too great, but I think that I can function now. And I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you. I owe you. You don’t owe me anything. You have been kind and giving to me, worried more about my problems then yours.” #I didn’t want you to think that you are a monster, like that sicko Miri. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. I only wanted to tease you. I’m more worried about the fact that we’re joined at the hip, that isn’t healthy for either one of us.#
Treize nodded, reassured by the look of love in Duo’s eyes. He wouldn't lie to him about that. He wasn’t being controlling and overbearing, like he was afraid that he was. Duo wouldn’t put up with that no matter how lost he was. Treize smiled suddenly, amused by the sudden thought that he just had. Duo saw the smile and relaxed. T-chan was going to be fine, he didn’t think that he was a bullying monster, but he was curious about the cause of that smile. “What’s so funny?”
Treize shook his head, “It just dawned on me that we met because you refused to be bullied by that madman G and he was probably scarier then I am.”
Duo laughed, he had never thought of that. “I’ll dig up some pictures for you, but you’re right. He was short and had the coldest eyes, colder then Heero’s or Trowa’s eyes ever were. He styled his hair in some weird bowl cut, looked like he had a mushroom on his head and he had this really big nose and a scar down the right side of his face.”
“Then let me make breakfast and what else do we have planned for the day?” Treize asked, relieved that Duo didn’t think that he would be nagging him for the rest of his life.
“Day at the Fine Arts Museum checking out some Baroque paintings and Medieval sculpture exhibit that just opened there, then some food shopping and a quiet evening at home after walking our feet off.” Duo replied disappearing into the kitchen. He might be able to talk T-chan into letting him cook breakfast and let him ‘bully’ T-chan and let him be spoiled for once.
A few days later Duo was curled up in bed, watching T-chan get undressed, with a frown on his face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think that I’m gonna leave you for a little while.”
“And go where?” Trieze asked softly. #Have I frightened you so much my little fey love?#
They hadn’t done more then tease each other and cuddle even if they were talking about progressing to a more sexual relation. Duo didn’t seem to go any further than that and Treize was not going to force him. They usually ended up curled around each other in bed, which he was happy with and they managed to talk about a lot of things that they needed to during the mornings while they cuddled together. He thought that they were doing well, even if Duo was still very wary about going further than they had, afraid of something that he wasn’t going to tell Treize about. For now he was content with where their relationship was physically, but someday he wanted to see Duo lose himself in his passion, and that would be a beautiful sight. He could wait to make love with Duo, have the younger man want him as much as he wanted Duo.
They had talked about the many things that had worried the two of them and Treize was hopeful that Duo was finally accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to walk out on him, no matter what he told him; from talking Gundams to all the assassinations that Duo had done for the scientists, Treize was willing to forgive him anything in his past. The future was what was important, the future that they would build together.
“L2 cluster.” Duo replied, not looking him in the eye. “I think that I've got to go without you as a safety net.”
“Ah.” was the only comment the only comment that he made aloud, since he didn’t want to upset Duo by screaming at him like a fishwife, which was his first impulse. #I will worry about you, I don’t think that this is good, but I understand that you want to be sane for me…there are times that I worry about you. That you lost more then you think or want to admit in Space and when Miri tortured you, that you will never be ‘normal’ again. That you may have not been sane to begin with was a fact that no one wants to talk about. But what possessed any of you, any of the pilots, to be able to jump into a Gundam and fight the way that you all did?#
Duo squirmed nervously and then shrugged,; T-chan was taking this a lot better then he thought he would, but Duo was still waiting for the other shoe to drop and have him argue with him about going with him. “I have to be able to be normal again, no matter what. I’ve been doing good with things, so have you. And besides…there are a few things that I want to check out there. Things that might help me like myself a little more. And if I go with you, you’re gonna baby me. I don’t mind it, but…I think that we need to be separated from each other. You should have a chance to go where you want to, without someone trailing behind you. And…”
“Breathing space.” Treize said quietly, interrupting him. He knew that Duo was going to babble until he ran out of breath since he was so nervous about talking to him about what he probably thought of as ‘abandoning’ him. “You want me…”
“To be on your own too. That you haven’t been on your own since the accident and wouldn’t you like it?” Duo asked in an uncertain rush. #Okay its stupid to call it an accident, but it really was an accident that he ended up as hurt as he did.#
“I don’t know.” Treize admitted. “It sounds so odd somehow.” #I won’t leave you, even if you push me away. But I think I understand what you want. You want to be with me, but not cling to me. I understand, the most precious thing that you can give to me is yourself, but the second is the freedom for me to be me. I think that we are both scared of being a bully or too clingy with each other.#
“I want to let you go, so that you will come back to me.” Duo said softly, echoing his thoughts . #I want you to make your decision about staying or going by knowing yourself. And you aren’t going to get to do that unless you get some time on your own. Stop even subtly glancing over your shoulder for my approval or worrying about me more than yourself. That way lies madness, for both of us. I want this relationship based on something more than an overwhelming need to be in each other’s company. This will give it to us, I hope. You need to wander by yourself, to be yourself. It will be good for you. If you don’t come back to me I will understand…I once said that I would love you even if you didn’t love me, so long as I knew that you were alive. You’re alive and I’m happy knowing that and if we just get those two bastards off our asses, then it will be good for us. No matter what else happens. It’ll hurt if you find someone else, but not as much as if you were unhappy with me.#.
“When were you thinking of leaving?” Treize asked quietly. #I’m not angry with you, you’ve been worried that I am using you as a substitute for Miri, but I just want to make sure that you are coping with things, you have been sick for so long. Worrying about you is a pleasure, but I know now that I have to let you go before you will come back to me, that we both need to be apart. I was just wondering which one of us was going to bring it up first. I am scared to leave you, but I know that we should be apart for a while, I just wanted to alone with you for a little while longer.#
Duo shrugged again. “I was thinking in a couple of days, if that was all right with you. I know that I just dumped this on you and before I leave I should at least know where you were thinking of going.” #Thank you for understanding. I want, not what we had before, but still to love you even if we’ve changed. You need to get out on your own. I need to be alone…and it’s not because I don’t love you, but because we need to be two separate, healedpeople before we can become a couple again.#
Treize smiled. “I understand. I think…I think that I’ll need to consider about where I want to go, but Earth sounds nice. I don’t know if I want to try and tackle the colonies. On Earth I might be recognized, but I think if I stick to odd, out of the way places and big cities, I should be safe. No one really expects me to be there, since I’m supposed to be dead. I have been thinking about this too. I just didn’t want to leave yet. I like this place.”
Duo smiled at him. “Thank you for understanding; I will worry about you. I just want you to know what you want.” #I’m giving you a chance to leave, because you deserve better then a pathetic street whore from L2 and you will never believe it. And I am weak enough that I couldn’t let you go later if you wanted to leave.#
“I want you.” Treize said softly. “I just want to tell you that now. I don’t think that time will change that.” #Please believe me…believe that you deserve a whole life, not just the shadow of one that you had been living after the war.#
Duo shook his head. “Do some comparison shopping.”
“Duo!” Treize exclaimed, annoyed. What was wrong with him! Why did he keep pushing him away? Telling him to find another lover was going a bit too far!
Duo laughed. “You look so cute, peeved like that. But all I meant was that you should see some other people. Hey, you might discover that you actually are attracted to people who won’t have more hair then most normal humans.” #Someone that is sane, someone that hasn’t had the things that I have had done to them, someone innocent and new, for the new you. I love you, I really do, so that’s why I want someone that is good enough for you, because that was never me.#
Treize laughed too. Duo was trying to let him be himself and not be an appendage of Duo’s. He shouldn’t be angry, Duo just was letting him have a choice in the matter, about staying or leaving. Or about being attracted to someone else. He hadn’t seen anyone that he wanted on this colony and since he didn’t think that he would meet anyone that was as intriguing as this little nymph was, so he chose Duo. Now he just had to get Duo to accept and believe in that choice. Treize smiled seductively and leaned over to whisper in Duo’s ear, barely resisting the urge to lick it. “Then you should give me a sample, so I have something to compare this unknown person with.”
Duo blushed and squirmed. God, he was both afraid and excited about that request. He couldn’t believe that T-chan actually wanted to…not with him. Not voluntarily, especially with the way that he looked, no matter how much they had talked about it. He was so ugly compared to Mirialdo and the rest of them, how could someone want him? Even if T-chan was a little scarred by his suit short-circuiting on him, he could still have his pick of lovers, male or female. So why did he want a scrawny whore from L2?
“You got one already…that night…” his voice trailed off. Maybe he shouldn’t be reminding him of that. They did end up getting really hurt by Mirialdo later on that night for him giving into the urge, even if it was out of pity. But that urge had gotten T-chan to run from the bastard, so that had been good, the silver lining thing for all the pain that they went through because of it. “And then… you know…when I…” That wasn’t too good to remind him of either; he had gone down on T-chan without asking him if he really wanted him to do that with him and it had been kinda rude of him to do that.
Treize shook his head. “That was nice,” he purred, “but I want something more…substantial.” He couldn’t believe that he was being so aggressive or trying to be seductive with Duo. Maybe Duo would finally get the message that he was attractive to other people. Or was he just sick of being used for his body? With his childhood, he probably was or was one of those missing pieces of Duo’s psyche his sense of worth? “And you do owe me a rain check…I’m going to cash it now.”
Duo let his breath out slowly, damn T-chan for remembering that! “All right.” #I shouldn’t argue with him if he wants to do it with me, but if he doesn’t come back, can I live through that? I know that I was willing to let him go, but if we make love, I don’t think that I could let him go…he’s so addictive to me, It won’t be sex if we go that far, it will be love just because of the way he is. I can barely leave him as it is and only because I know that I have to do this or we are never going to be healed from the war.#
Treize frowned. Duo didn’t sound very happy. “Then I get to seduce you?” #More than I have already. I knocked down a lot of your defenses, just by waiting you out and wearing you down. I want it to be good for you, even if you don’t want me to make it good for you because you believe that you are not good enough for me. Can’t you believe that I am not good enough for you?#
“Yes.”
Duo sounded beyond unhappy, scared was the tone that Treize heard in his voice. What was Duo afraid of, that he would never come back because they made love? That one night was some how going to doom him? “A date then, Friday. I…I just want you to have some good memories too.” Treize said quietly. #After all this you think that I just want to use you? That I would not come back to your warmth and your love because you sent me away? How badly did Miri and everyone else hurt you if you think that you’re only good for your looks? Or what you could do for them, how they could use you.#
Duo smiled faintly, trying to humor him. “I know…it's just I don’t know…please don’t be angry if I freak.”
“I’m not going to force you. I’ll go slow and if you have a problem, that’s okay. We can work it through. I like you.” Treize promised him. #Actually I love you, but you are never going to believe me right now.# “You did get me out of a nasty situation. But that isn’t why I’m doing this. I’m doing this for the man that stays in bed with me, so that I don’t wake up alone. The man that cooks Chicken Kiev and any number of delicious dishes for me, because I like them and he wants to spoil me. I want to show you that you are a good person, deserving of love, because of the thousand of little kindnesses that you do for me.” #Frightened that I will be scared off by either your body or your reactions? Duo, what Miri did to me was rape, so I do understand your fears, one of which is that you might not always know it’s me making love with you. Just as I understand that you want me to be in control because I never was with Miri. But weren’t you the one that told me that it was all about pleasure? Let me give you that pleasure, even it physically we never get beyond cuddling that we have been doing all along.#
“I don’t want to get a taste of what we had and then lose you again,” Duo said uncertainly, blushing a little, trying to explain what his problem was. “I know that I’m the one that wants to spend time apart, but…”
“I understand. And I want something for you to remember while we’re apart.” Treize whispered to him, giving him a gentle hug for reassurance, show that he wasn’t upset about Duo’s reluctance, “something that will keep you warm at night. Let you sleep…good memories for you.”
“I have good memories.” Duo protested. #All my memories of you, during the war and the ones now are good. You don’t have to do any other memories of us besides here, but I will always treasure this time together, no matter what you decide.#
“If you felt good about yourself, if you had good memories, I wouldn’t hear you whimper at night to your ghosts. You wake up occasionally, but you never remember doing so. Sometimes you scream. If I get too close, you fight me.” Treize said passionately. “Let me show you that it can be good for you again! You gave so much of yourself to other people, let someone give you something!”
“T-chan…” Duo whispered, he didn’t know that he had been that bad, that shut down with his emotions, that he let loose at night what he couldn’t in the light of day. What had T-chan thought of him? Why had he stayed?
“If you don’t like what we’re doing or if you become frightened I will stop. I will stop, I swear! I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
“I’m afraid of myself more then you. I’m afraid of what these damned rings make me feel.” Duo whispered, curling up in a ball. “They feel nice, but they’re weird to me and I was so happy with whatever Howard did to me…it didn’t take much and I was hard and wanting to be fucked, by Howard or anyone. It might have been the drugs or my reaction to them, but from the fragments of conversation that I heard, Howard and I were like two minks in heat. And I was about as mindless as one most of the time. I had no control over myself. That’s what’s frightening me, I was happy about being used by him. It's not you; I am never frightened of you, I frightened myself.”
“This will be the start of good memories for the both of us.” Treize promised him gently. “I don’t want to use you, like the others did. Just let me remind you that it can be good, like it was for us before.”
Duo came back to the apartment wondering what he was going to see. He had let T-chan talk him into seducing him. It hadn’t been difficult, he wanted him so badly, the problem was that he had no idea what to expect with him and that worried him. Either his reactions or T-chan’s to what they were going to be attempting, he didn’t know if they were ready for this step in their relationship. So instead of arguing with him, he had done what T-chan had asked and left the place for an hour to run some errands. As he opened the door, he smiled. He was scared, but he also was looking forward to T-chan’s seduction attempt. It might even be amusing to see if he was going to argue about who was the uke. Since he was being the seducer, that meant Duo got to be the uke, so then he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting him with the rings that were in him or T-chan having a bad reaction to what they were doing.
T-chan was standing in the living room, smiling. “I’m glad you’re back. Give me a minute and I will start things. But…you can back out, I don’t mind. I do believe I harassed you into doing this, worse then I do with you eating properly.”
Duo laughed, T-chan was still reassuring him that he could back out. He had said the same thing three or four times of the past week, and if it wasn’t for the lust he saw in his eyes right now, he would believe that he was serious. But all it did was make him want T-chan more, because he was being so considerate about his stupid fears, giving him a choice even after all the trouble he probably went through. “I said yes and I’m lookin’ forward to this. And I like you bullying me. I need it. And you have calmed down a lot, since I am eating enough to keep you happy.” He handed him a pair of roses, one white and one red that he had hidden behind his back.
Treize smiled. Duo giving him flowers, that was sweet of him. He busied himself by putting them in a vase with some water, he kept forgetting that Duo was a romantic, even though he would deny it in a second, since he liked showering him with thoughtful gestures by giving him flowers like this was a real date. “Thank you. You have been so good to me; I just want you to feel good.”
“So what are you doing?” Duo asked as Treize disappeared back into the back of the apartment. He heard the water running and smiled, Treize was starting out with a bubble bath, it seemed. That would be nice and something that they could both enjoy and it should relax them before they got on to the more serious part of T-chan’s plan. Thank god for Quatre’s decadent older sister who liked big, deep tubs and had one installed in her condo.
“What do you think?” Treize shouted over the water. He smiled at the bubbles that were starting to form. He checked to see if the water wasn’t too hot and went back out into the living room.
Duo hugged him and laughed. “A bubble bath is a good idea.”
Treize returned the hug and nuzzled the top of his head. “Just let me get the champagne and the glasses and we can climb into the tub together.”
“Do you want me with my hair up or down?” Duo asked quietly.
“Up would be easier, for later…” Treize murmured suggestively. “Can you put it up?”
“I can…that’s why they invented hair sticks.” Duo answered, starting to get excited about this. It was silly and scary and his stomach was filling up with butterflies, but he wanted this. He wanted to have good memories and didn’t care any more about the future or reality or anything that had worried him when he was out wandering around, wondering if he really wanted to do this and ignore the doubts that he had which might stop him from taking this last step. He’d just enjoy T-chan and worry about everything else later. Later would be only if he didn’t come back to him. He shouldn’t think that bad things were going to happen if they made love.
“Then meet me in the bathroom.” Treize said, leaned down and kissed Duo, slipping his tongue into his mouth and trying to tickle his tongue. Duo leaned into the kiss and made and odd noise in his throat, halfway between a purr and a moan. He rubbed up against Treize showing him that he wanted this, that the thought of spending the next few hours in the tub and then maybe in bed excited him, since he thought that T-chan needed that reassurance, since he was acting like an idiot. Treize reluctantly let go of Duo ending their kiss, afraid that they would get so involved that the tub would overflow. He hoped that Duo would be able to enjoy all of what he had planned, that he could put his memories in the back of his mind and not have Howard or anyone else from his past ruin this for him.
“Get into the tub and we can continue this right, naked and slippery.” Treize growled huskily, aroused by Duo’s responses.
Duo nodded and leaned up to nip Treize on the neck before running into the bathroom, eager to continue what they had started. He didn’t know how long he could keep the ghosts at bay, but long enough he hoped so that he could enjoy this seduction.
Treize laughed and followed Duo at a slower pace, gathering the champagne and the strawberries from the kitchen before following him. He wondered if he was being silly, trying to recapture old memories with all these things, memories that he didn’t really have anymore. But Duo looked happy about trying this and he felt excited about it too, the lump in his pants proved that to him. He wanted this to be good for Duo, show him that he was loved.
Duo was standing by the tub, naked, his hair piled on his head, apparently mesmerized by the foam. Treize just stared at him before putting his burdens down. Duo looked up as he heard the clank of the cooler hitting the porcelain. He smiled and went over to Treize, starting to unbutton his shirt, pulled out of whatever funk that he was in. Treize knew that he was having second thoughts, since Duo would be a fool if he didn’t. Hell, he was having second thoughts about all this, but with any luck this move was non-threatening enough to Duo to start out his seduction with and not scare him away, have him bolt out of the apartment like he had done with Heero and Wufei. It was only a bath, nothing more. Some strawberries to nibble on and champagne to sip, nothing that was going to pressure Duo about anything, he hoped. If they never got beyond this, he would be content, just so that Duo enjoyed it.
“I know that this is your production, but how about you in first and I sit on your lap?” Duo asked shyly.
“Sounds like a wonderful idea.” Treize said, “Who could resist a wet and slippery Duo?”
“Relena.” Duo answered promptly and pertly. “She’s seen me wet and semi-naked. I don’t think that I did anything for her. And that was before…”
Actually it had been in the middle of her career of Heero chasing, right after Heero had resurrected himself from his self destruct. She had managed to trace them down to one of Quatre’s houses and they had all been swimming in the pool when she had found them. She had gotten an eyeful of all of them, but she still focused on Heero. Wufei had looked sexier in Duo’s opinion, but he hadn’t taken advantage of it because he thought that he had been straight and Duo hadn’t wanted to get involved with any of the other pilots at the time. It had been about a week later that Quatre had found Heero and Wufei rolling around on the floor, less then clothed and he had been ordered to whore for the cause, so it was good that he hadn’t make a move on Wufei.
“Ahh but wet and naked she doesn’t interest you either, so that really isn’t a good example.” Treize teased back, cutting off anything negative he had to say about his body. It was wonderful body, nothing compared to his spirit, but beautiful still even with its scars.
Duo stood up on his toes and captured Treize’s mouth with his own, kissing him deeply. Apparently trying to suck him into his body, whole. Treize ignored the slight shivers that Duo was making, gently stroking his back, trying to get him to relax. Duo was trying too hard; he should just let things work out however they did. Was he frightened that he couldn’t finish what he started?
As Duo broke for air, Treize smiled and kissed him on the nose. “That was nice,” he purred.
“I’m glad you liked it…I always thought that you were a good kisser.” Duo replied, nuzzling his collarbone.
“Then let us continue to kiss in the tub. Bubbles are fun to kiss in too.” Treize said, gingerly sitting down in the hot water. It was relaxing and he sighed in pleasure when Duo joined him, wiggling a little to get comfortable or to tease him. The slipperiness from the oil in the water on their skin made the both of them involuntarily gasp, as flesh slid against flesh easily. Treize hardened some more at Duo’s touch and was relieved that Duo didn’t panic at his reaction.
Duo leaned back, giggling a little when he adjusted Treize so that he didn’t impale himself by accident on him too early in the proceedings. He loved the hardness that was poking at his back, but if they didn’t go any further than this for a while, he would be happy. He didn’t want to push his luck and spoil things by going too fast; it would be so bad if he started flinching in the middle of this. T-chan was trying hard to make it good for the two of them. He wanted to cooperate with him and not be a slave to his fears.
Treize held his breath as he felt Duo’s hands on his cock, trying not to moan. He resisted the impulse to thrust into those hands, not wanting to scare Duo off, he wanted to have Duo enjoy this more then anything. He then felt Duo settle down between his legs and then rested his hands on his upper thighs, softly stroking them. Duo hissed and shivered, snuggling his body against T-chan’s. They sat that way for a few minutes neither one of them wanting to break the spell that was building in that room, the steam rising from the water giving them the impression of fog. The misty air was softening things and giving them an unearthly feeling to the room.
Treize broke the spell first, nuzzling Duo’s ear and tracing his tongue along the outside rim. “Do you want some champagne?” he asked softly, pleased at the softly whimpered ‘yes’ that he heard.
He made mental note to remember that his ears were a sensitive place on Duo. He stretched an arm out of the tub a poured a single glass of champagne. Treize lifted it to Duo’s lips and murmured, “Drink.”
Duo took a few sips, and sighed. “I like champagne…bubbles are good in a glass and a tub.”
Treize laughed, “I’m glad that I planned right.”
“Anything that you would have done would have been good, because it was always special with you.” Duo said. #That sounded so corny, but it was true, it was special, even the first time because he treated me like a person, even if I popped into his bed unannounced and jumped him, when he was too drunk and stunned about what I was doing to tell me no.#
“I am holding you to that.” Treize said, before he took his own drink of champagne. Duo smiled and leaned back a little more, the water relaxing him and making him feel boneless. Covered by all the bubbles, he felt safe. They hid so much of the damage that had been done to him. He knew that it was silly to still be body shy around T-chan, but he was.
Treize felt Duo relax and swallowed the last of the champagne that was in the glass before pouring more. He took a mouthful and leaned over to kiss Duo, trickling the champagne into his mouth and wondering which was sweeter, the kisses that he was getting from Duo or the champagne that they were drinking. He lost track of the time, just content to kiss Duo. Sweet open mouthed kisses, with just the hint of a tongue that he spread all over his mouth, to his face and drifted down to his shoulders and then up to his mouth again. When he broke for air, he then fed Duo strawberries and had him wash them down with more champagne, enthralled by the soft sounds that Duo had been making when he kissed him. By then he had decided that Duo was sweeter then anything that he had ever known.
Duo, for the most part was willing to limit things to kisses and caresses. His groin ached to be fondled and felt, but he ignored that part of him. This was something that he wanted more than sex, he wanted just to be loved and to be touched. He wanted to be able to believe that this was something that could last, someone that would survive his love, a relationship that wouldn’t be destroyed by death.
Treize gradually started to caress Duo, nothing that was obvious, slow stealthy touches that never went beyond something that could be seen in public, places that he had touched before. As Duo relaxed more and more from the champagne that he was drinking, Duo was enchanting him with his reactions to his caresses as he held Duo in his arms. Duo was wonderful, his skin felt like silk under his mouth and hands. The scars he ignored, the only one that had ever bothered him was the large bite mark that he noticed on Duo’s shoulder. He didn’t have to ask where that came from, he thought he recognized those teeth marks, he has seen it on his own body far too often. Miri liked to bite when he was in a particularly savage or destructive mood. Duo was lucky that he hadn’t lost flesh with that bite, it looked like it had been deep. The small sounds of pleasure that Duo was making as he touched him were exciting him more and more, much more then the hesitant caresses that Duo was making. Was Duo afraid that he would be angry because he was touching back? He wanted a lover, not a doll, so he welcomed the fact that Duo was touching him back while he caressed his body.
Duo was hampered by the fact that he was sitting between T-chan’s legs. His range was limited with what he could caress and fondle. He also didn’t want to move, the water and alcohol combined to make him want to melt where he was. T-chan’s hands on his body, was the closest that he had been to heaven in his life he swore.
Duo tilted forward, allowing T-chan access to his neck and back some more, even as he lifted his hips to grind them into T-chan’s hardness. Both of them moaned, Duo’s sounded a little breathless as he started to rock, wanting something more, something else now. Treize stilled his movements with his hands, caressing the sensitive tips of his hipbones with his fingers, nibbling on the lobe of an ear. The water had cooled a little, but neither one of them wanted to get out and break the spell that they had been weaving with each other.
“Show me where you want to be touched.” Treize half asked, half ordered Duo, breathing his request into his ear, licking the flesh that was trapped between his teeth. He didn’t want to ruin this by making the wrong move, he’d let Duo could set the pace of their lovemaking and show Treize what he wanted.
Duo held his breath for a second, and then laced his hands over Treize’s. He slowly directed them to caress his hips again, working their way up to his stomach, achingly slow. Duo ignored his cock, wanting to draw this out as much as possible. He was thrilled that T-chan had let him set the pace; that he had given him the time that he needed when they moved beyond the kisses that they had been exchanging. Duo hesitated for a second and then gently drew T-chan’s fingers across his nipples, enjoying the spear of desire that hit his groin and he arched his back a little, a gasping moan wrung from him.
Treize was astonished at how excited this was making him. He groaned himself as Duo bucked against his hardness. He wanted him, he wanted to bury himself in Duo and wash away all his bad memories with his touch. He was disappointed when Duo stopped him from playing some more with those exciting nubs of flesh. He wanted to see and hear how many different noises he could wring from Duo, just by playing with his nipples. He vaguely recalled that Duo said that the rings had made him more sensitive in the areas that they had been inserted and he wondered what he could do to Duo by touching his cock rings. He let Duo guide his hands down to his hips, knowing that this was more for Duo then it was for himself. He could explore Duo’s body some more later he hoped.
Treize was speechless when Duo shifted and ended up sitting/crouching on his lap, facing him. Duo smiled and kissed him, nibbling at the corners of his mouth and tickling his palate with his tongue. Treize fought back, thrusting his own tongue into Duo’s mouth sparing with him a little and not wanting to stop kissing him. He vaguely registered the fact that Duo had positioned himself over his cock and was trying to envelope him in his heat.
Treize stopped kissing Duo and just held him as he slowly slid down his cock, impaling himself on Treize. Duo smiled at the worry that he saw in Treize’s eyes. Treize held himself still, ignoring the urge to pump into Duo’s body until both of them screamed their release. He knew that Duo had to adjust to having him inside, he was so tight Treize was afraid that he was going to hurt him if he moved.
“There’s enough oil in the water and I’m going slow.” Duo reassured him, seeing the concern in his eyes, kissing him again. It hurt, but it was a good hurt, slowly feeling himself open for T-chan, feeling more and more of his lover in him.
Duo rolled his hips, moving cautiously for a few moments before starting to ride Treize slowly, listening to the groans that he caused the other as he teased him with his long slow movements, too slow to really do anything but make him gasp at the feelings that Duo was causing. Treize leaned over and nipped at one of Duo’s nipple rings, gratified by the small mewling scream that he heard. That scream made him almost come right then. He decided that he had given Duo enough time to adjust to this and he seized control of their lovemaking from him by grasping Duo and starting to move him up and down, setting a faster pace for both of them and finding that special spot inside Duo. He knew that Duo was losing his sense of anything but what he was doing to him as he watched his head tip further and further back, small strangled noises being forced out of his throat. He was on the edge of exploding also, held back only by the fact that he refused to come before Duo. This was for Duo, to give him good memories and to entice him into returning to him after his vacation to L2.
Duo let Treize take control. He had gotten what he wanted, T-chan inside of him. He was now angled so that T-chan was hitting the right spot, deep inside him, rubbing him the right way. His head tipped back and he rode T-chan for all he was worth, lost in the sensation of being filled by the one that he loved. His orgasm crept up on him, snapping him forward suddenly so that he buried his scream of completion in T-chan’s shoulder, feeling himself spatter over the both of them. He felt T-chan come inside him at that sound, pumping into him, healing him by filling in the lost sections of his soul with his love. He would never let him say it, but he could feel it. T-chan loved him and it scared him so much.
They stayed that way too sated to move, leisurely kissing each other, slowly tracing odd designs on each other’s body. Duo sighed when he felt T-chan’s softened flesh slip out of his body.
“Thank you.” he muttered, suddenly tired.
“I…that was wonderful.” Treize whispered back, equally drained.
“Rinse off and a nap?” Duo asked, not wanting to move really, but he was getting a little raisinish and he was probably cutting of the circulation to Treize’s legs in this position.
“Mmm…then…” Treize yawned. “I want to be selfish…I want to explore you more.”
Duo laughed at that sleepy request and unplugged the tub. “I’ll let you,” he promised.
Treize stood up, shaky still from the intensity of his orgasm. He watched Duo rinse off the few bits of foam that still clung to him, before spraying Treize with the water and giggling. Treize faked a frown and splashed back, glad to hear Duo giggle, he had been worried that Duo had pushed himself too fast just so that hewould be satisfied.
After a few more minutes of fooling with the water, Duo calmed down and shut it off, and grabbed a towel to dry off Treize. He smiled and started to dry Duo off with another towel, interspersing kisses with his caresses, until they were wrapped around one another again, rubbing against each other. He was intrigued by the breathless moans that Duo was making, getting him hard and making him want to postpone his nap.
He gathered Duo up with a small growl and carried him into the bedroom, freeing his hair from its bun, mesmerized by different colors that he saw there. The golds, the browns and the hints of red that he saw in his hair, Duo Maxwell was a forest fairy that had come into the world of man just for him. He placed Duo on the bed and then leaned over to give him more kisses on his swollen mouth. Duo was a sight that would tempt anyone into straying into sin, the glazed eyes and swollen mouth that screamed desire and he was just for him, Duo trusted him enough to make love to him. Treize was humbled by this and preceded to show Duo how grateful he was for this trust.
He slowly worked his way down Duo’s throat nipping at it to leave a trail of small red marks down his skin, even kissing that damned collar. He couldn’t help himself he wanted to show Duo that he thought he was sexy, desirable and very lovable, that Howard’s stupidity and Miri’s anger with Duo meant nothing to him.
Duo arched his back, moaning enjoying the small bits of pain that T-chan was giving him. The bathroom has been surrealistic and gentle, but now he wanted it hard and fast. He moaned louder, tangling his hands in T-chan’s hair and drawing up his head to face him. He kissed T-chan nipping at his lips and rubbing himself against him.
“Make me scream,” he whispered huskily. “Push me to the edge and take me over.”
Treize looked down at Duo and gently stroked the side of his face. “I will stop if it’s too much for you, but I want to see lost, hear you scream with passion again.”
Duo smiled softly. “I trust you.”
Treize smiled back, and then lowered his head to continue his exploration of Duo’s body. Saying that he was trusted meant more to him then he realized. He wanted this to be good for Duo. He understood the difference between good pain and bad pain. He wanted to make Duo ache to be taken, to be touched by him, beg him for anything that he would do to him. His mouth started worrying one of Duo’s nipple rings as his hands skittered down Duo’s ribs and over his stomach to fondle his cock.
Duo muttered incoherently, arching his back again, wanting more. He sighed when T-chan’s mouth left his nipple, and then moaned when T-chan blew across that same nipple, hardening it. T-chan’s mouth and tongue were then busy licking and nipping to Duo’s chest and abdomen. Duo stopped thinking and just drifted in the sensations that he was feeling. It had been so long since he had experienced this mindless haze, letting himself drown the sensations that his body felt. He couldn’t stop stroking T-chan’s head and shoulders, nearly jumping off the bed when his mouth closed over the tip of his cock and licked off the liquid that he found there, while tugging a little at his cock rings, playing with them and making him moan some more, half his brain marveling at how intense it felt. He was ready to explode when he felt T-chan stop, his breath blowing coolly across his erection. He held his breath wondering if T-chan was going to continue to explore his body or suck him until he exploded in his mouth, he wanted both to happen! He whimpered when T-chan stopped and lifted his head, staring down at him uncomprehending. Why did he stop? That had felt so good!
“Open your legs Duo.” Treize ordered him in a growl. “I want more. I want to lick you all over.”
Duo opened his legs, then pulled them up to his chest and held them. He sobbed when T-chan rewarded his cooperation by biting his thigh, then licking the mark that he made slowly, tracing some unseen pattern on his skin. Duo held his breath as T-chan’s tongue went closer and closer to his entrance. He unconsciously whined in frustration as he just felt him stop, breathing lightly across the opening, teasing him with his breath and the light tugs that he felt on the ring that was between his legs as he played with it with his tongue. He was totally unprepared when T-chan drove his tongue into him, letting out a scream that he swore was heard on Earth. He locked his legs around T-chan’s shoulders, riding his tongue, reveling in the feeling of that piece of flesh thrusting into him. Duo thrashed around helplessly, making small broken noises, overwhelmed by what was happening to him, just feeling like everything had dwindled down to that small opening in his body.
Treize was amazed at the taste of himself in Duo. He lapped it up, wanting more, wanting to go so deeply into Duo that he crawled out his mouth. He used his tongue to stretch him, wanting nothing more then to stay this way forever, tasting Duo and himself, together, musky and sweet and so very different from Miri’s taste. But he wanted more now, he wanted to be deep inside his Duo again, feeling his heat around his shaft, making him feel that he was falling forever into his love. He fumbled for the oil that he had beside the bed and oiled his cock, not wanting hurt Duo even though he seemed to be prepared enough without it.
He managed to shift Duo, lifting his legs again so that he could move. He heaved himself up and positioned his cock at Duo’s entrance. Duo opened his eyes and smiled at Treize, a smile so wanton but so happy that he leaned over to kiss Duo as he drove himself deeply into his body, Duo relaxing his muscles to take him in, lubricated by his seed from the first time and the attention that he had been paying to him there as well as the oil on his shaft. Duo kissed back, nipping at his lips, enjoying the taste of the two of them in T-chan’s mouth.
Treize held still for a second, then wrapped his hand around Duo’s cock and started to thrust hard and fast, his hand keeping pace with his movements. He searched Duo’s face for any sign of pain, but all he could see was his desire. Treize kept up the grueling rhythm he had set and was rewarded by Duo suddenly arching his back with a silent scream, tightening around Treize so that he followed Duo into the mindlessness of an orgasm as Duo spilled all over the two of them. Treize lay there sticky and surrounded by Duo and was gratified by the small whispered “Oh god that was incredible,” that he heard. He went to move off Duo, worried that he was too heavy and was warmed by the fact that Duo tightened his arms around him and pleaded softly, “Stay.”
“As long as you want me to,” he replied gently. He would stay since there was no reason for him to leave, since everything that he had ever wanted was in this bed with him.
Eventually he had to move, as he felt himself soften and withdraw from the small slice of heaven that he was in and he must be crushing Duo with his weight. Treize rolled off of Duo, frowning at the number of bruises that he saw on him and that he didn’t remember giving him. Duo smiled at his inspection and laughed a little.
“I wanted it. Don’t look like that!” Duo scolded him gently. #I have to show you that I’m not made out of spun sugar, that lovemaking can be slow and gentle or fast and hard and it still can be special. It’s all about feeling good.#
“I…hurt you.” Treize whispered #All I know is pain, even the good kind. I shouldn’t have let you know that though!#
Duo rolled on top of him and hugged T-chan. “It’s supposed to be messy. And biting doesn’t count as hurting. I think that before the weekend is over, we are both going to be covered in bites and bruises.” #You can get rough with me, I won’t break. And you aren’t that bastard Miri; if I get bruised, there is a big difference between just what happened between us and what he was doing to you! I wanted this and asked for it, you never asked to be hurt by him, even if you let him have all the control and power in that place.#
Treize stirred at the thought and then drew the blankets over the two of them. “I was worried…you…I thought that you might be frightened.”
Duo yawned involuntarily and shook his head. “I trust you. And…mmm…you are gentle. The tub was wonderful…but here I wanted it a bit more…substantial. Do you understand?”
“You want to feel it all…you’re still afraid that you are out in Space and this is just another hallucination?” Treize guessed. #Or do want as much of me as you can get this weekend, because you are afraid that you’ll never see me again?#
“A little. Or this is one of my weird dreams. I saw you in them sometimes, but you never talked to me. All the people that I know who are dead, they talk to me in my dreams. Solo, Father Maxwell…the kids and the soldiers, they all visit me. I should have known that you were alive, you never talked to me.” Duo sleepily explained before curling against the older man. Treize kissed him gently on the top of his head, glad that Duo had told him about his dreams. That meant more to him then the intense lovemaking that they just had experienced.
Duo fell asleep, drifting in the dreams that he found there. At first they were good, but he moaned when he saw Howard in his dreams. He never dreamed of a living person that he could remember.
Howard was standing over him, since he seemed to be tied down to something. The damned bracelets were being put to use that Howard liked.
“You’re mine! I own you –toy-…–pet-…-whore -!” Howard growled at him. “You only enjoy yourself with me! Not with – him-!”
“NO!” he screamed back. He never enjoyed Howard, it had been the drugs he was feeding him and his body’s reactions. Not love like it was with T-chan. He was nothing but a thing to Howard. T-chan wanted him… his soul, his love…he wasn’t just a hole to stick his cock into like he was to Howard.
“If I didn’t find you…you would have never have met him! If I didn’t let G have you…you wouldn’t be who you are today. I made you. The collar just marks you as mine. Reminds you who created you. You would still have nothing…be nothing if it wasn’t for me.”
“NO!” Duo fought the restraints not caring about anything but getting free.
“Give in Duo…underneath it all, you are still that frightened street whore…I’ll be good for you.”
“NO!” Howard couldn’t be good for him, all he wanted a toy, a thing. He didn’t want Duo. T-chan wanted him and loved him, that’s why he loved T-chan and this was good for them both.
Treize was worried when Duo’s face changed from the peaceful dreams that he was having to a frightened, pinched look. He cradled Duo close, murmuring sleepy reassurances to him. He had been dozing, enthralled by just looking at Duo and remembering their lovemaking. He didn’t want to have it ruined by Duo’s ghosts taunting him, telling him that this was a lie or that he wasn’t good enough for him, as they were talking to him in his dreams.
Duo woke up with a start, panting. Treize held him as he just lay in his arms and shivered, too frightened to talk. After a while Duo turned around kissed Treize. “That was nasty!” he murmured finally.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Treize asked quietly, not wanting to press him.
“Howard…saying that he owned me…he made me…because if he hadn’t…” Duo couldn’t finish that thought.
“You are where you are today because of your own work. Howard had nothing to do with it!” Treize growled.
“I hope that dirty old man had nothing to do with being in bed with a sexy guy.” Duo joked.
He was scared though. Howard was someone that had done a lot for him, good and bad. If he hadn’t stowed away on his ship, he wouldn’t have been a Gundam pilot. Duo wondered briefly what might have happened to him. Would he still be selling himself? Or would he have managed to make something of himself and have a mostly normal life? He didn’t know. And not knowing worried him a little, even if it was stupid.
“T-chan…don’t be angry…but…it’s…” Duo tried to explain in a small voice. #Did you ever see how small the changes could be for us to have never been together? Did Epyon ever tell you that? Have you ever known how fragile all this is…that it would take only a tiny change and we would have never happened. Not like this…not with us. We might be another Treize and another Duo…and…this moment,this nowwould have never happened.#
“You are dealing with ‘might have beens’ and ‘what if’s’ Trieze said gently, trying to comfort Duo. “If Miri hadn’t been so abusive or if he and Howard hadn’t been together, we wouldn’t be here now. I understand that. But you are here because of a lot of things and I hope that we would be together no matter what.”
“Probably…but…” Duo didn’t know he didn’t have the clarity of vision that T-chan had regained in his inexperience with people and his lack of memory. He still had too many doubts about himself.
“But Epyon showed you something different?” Treize asked quietly, “It showed you a lot of things that short time that you were in there, didn’t it?”
“Not really. About some stuff,” Duo hesitated and then continued, T-chan already heard a lot of his crazy talk, might as well tell him all of it again. “In space, when I was alone…Epyon, taunted me, I guess. He or it sent me dreams or visions. Just the thing that you need to have when you’re depressed and lonely, I think that I might be him, but I could have just gotten this in one huge data file type thing and I just kept getting the information in dribs and drabs as it leaked out of my memory.”
Treize shifted so that Duo was more comfortable in his arms, cuddled to his chest, draped around him like a second skin. “What did you dream of? I’ll go with dreams. Visions imply this religious overtone and I don’t think that it was that good for you.”
Duo laughed. “It wasn’t, but it did keep me occupied, thinking about what that thing showed me. That our situations had changed, like I told you before. That you ended up with Une or Wufei or Relena. Or that Zechs stuck around and Mirialdo never reared his ugly psychoses. Or that I lived happily ever after with Heero or Wufei or Quatre or Trowa or any combination of them or all of them, in some weird peaceful future, since you never were around because you really did die. Sometimes with this strange chick that sort of looked like Noin, but I never found out who she was. It was good and bad, because these things came back to me and tempted me after you were gone. If I didn’t looked like I do or was as messed up as I was, I might be with one of the others. Heero was eyeing me the night that he and Quatre visited me at our cabin, right before the Barton Rebellion.”
Treize was happy to hear the word ‘our’ from Duo. Duo was still thinking about them as a couple, even though he was insisting that he should wander around and find out who he was. What he wanted out of his life, “Heero is an idiot. He…he didn’t think about what you wanted, he was going to useyou…” Treize fell silent, annoyed at the other pilot from what he had told him earlier.
“It would have been a two way street.” Duo told him, after the silence stretched for a while. “I would have been using him to forget you. He would have been using me to forget Wufei. Thankfully, we both got distracted, before we screwed things up between us so that they couldn’t be fixed.”
“What do you mean?” Treize asked, slowly stroking Duo’s hair. He loved playing with it and it relaxed Duo.
“I don’t think that Heero would have been able to deal with my problems in bed or out of it. He hasn’t got the experience to help me and I think that it would have been a disaster and we wouldn’t be friends any more.”
“And I do?” Treize asked, surprised.
“You’ve been used, been hurt by someone that shouldn’t have touched you like that.” Duo told him quietly. “You back off when I get shaky, when you think that you’ve pushed me too far. You had the patience to let me heal before expecting me to respond to you, treat you as a lover and not a pillow to cry on.”
“I…I just want you to get better, because…I…” Treize stumbled over the words. He loved this fragile young man so much; so much as he was frightened of hurting him with that love.
Duo put a finger to his lips, silencing him. “You don’t have to say it. I heard the words too many times to believe them, from the Johns, who thought that if they got your body, they got your heart. I heard it from the other kids, from Sister Helen and Father Maxwell and then they died on me. The words are nothing…I understand your feelings though.”
“Then…why…”
“To help you . To let you have some time. Some independence. To let you think about things. This…this isn’t real. We’re alone. It’s wonderful, but life isn’t like this. So you should live in the real world and then decide. Someplace besides this never-never land that we have here.”
“I know.” Treize sighed. “But…”
“Reality is a bitch. See how other people treat you. See what it’s like to make friends without someone hovering in the background. Meet a lot of…”
”I understand Duo. Just, are you hoping that I fall in love with someone else, so that I don’t die on you, because I am willing to say the words and mean it. That I want to be with you, that I want to spend the rest of our life together. That I don’t care that your scars are on the outside. And I am including that damned collar in those scars.” #I just want to kill you Howard for that. If you ever had to hear Duo plead with you that he wasn’t a dog…I don’t think that you would have ever thought of doing that to him. And the lost look that he had that night, when he realized that he had been mutilated with his own Gundam, he just shattered again I swear and, it took so long to get him to trust me, to love me because of what you had done to him. If you ever catch up with us, you will regret it.#
“I think I am.” Duo admitted. “I’m so scared of losing you. You gave me so much during the war. Hope. Love. Respect. Things that I wasn’t or couldn’t get from my friends, because I wasn’t honest with them about what was happening at the time. T-chan, you were the only reason that I kept going for the longest time. I had to end it, so you wouldn’t hurt any more, so that you didn’t have the ghosts of all the soldiers haunting you, so that we could be together. And now, you’ve helped me more then anyone else had been able to, I guess I just needed to be first with someone. But you need to know that there is a world out there, that you don’t need me; that you want to be with me. I don’t know if I am saying this right, but I hope that you understand.”
Treize leaned down and kissed him. He understood. From what he had been able to gather from Une and the others, Duo had been the only person that he really cared about also. But Duo was still fragile enough to think that this wasn’t going to last because they were alone, because they didn’t have other people with them. Treize actually was looking forward to waking up beside him for the rest of his life, helping him raise their daughter. Duo may not be one of her biological parents, but he had loved Maria so much, that no matter what would happen, he wouldn’t separate the two of them. But he hoped that Duo would accept the fact that he wanted to grow old beside him, live with him and all his faults.
“Then…let us make the most of the rest of the weekend. I…I don’t think that I am going to be so fickle as to leave the man that has done so much to help me, restore me self respect and my sanity for a stranger?”
“We are strangers.” Duo said sadly . #We started over with a clean slate. That was good, even though you forgot me, we did get to know each other again. The real you, when you aren’t being forced to do things because of the war or for a possessive, deranged captor. The me of now isn’t so nice, but it is better then the confused kid that crawled into your bed the first time.#
“We aren’t though.” Treize argued, hating that Duo still felt that uncertain, after that incredible experience that they just had, he wanted to kill whoever had hurt him so badly that he never expected anything good out of his life. “Strangers don’t know that you whistle in your sleep sometimes. That you like a hot shower in the morning and that you have a beautiful soul as well as a beautiful body, now that I have bullied you to the proper weight.” #I don’t think that you noticed, but you grew! Not much, just a couple of more centimeters and you have filled out wonderfully. You will always be slender and wiry, but now you don’t look so wasted.#
Duo laughed. T-chan had managed to out argue him again. And he wasn’t going to argue with the man if he thought he was beautiful. “I concede. We aren’t strangers, not after all this time living together.”
“Then why don’t I spend some more time and…” Treize started with a leer, only to be cut off by Duo.
“…let me remember you.” Duo finished, rolling on top of T-chan and pinning him to the bed, keeping him in place with a kiss. Treize kissed back, letting Duo take control. After a few minutes or a few hours of kissing, Treize couldn’t tell, Duo sighed and snuggled down rest his head on his chest.
“Missed this,” Duo mumbled into his chest, rubbing his cheek up and down, like he was a cat marking his territory and breathing deeply. “Missed listening to your heartbeat. Missed feeling you underneath my cheek. Missed the smell of you. Missed watching you sleep. Missed the taste of your kisses, your skin and all of you.”
“Then just lie here with me, we don’t have to do anything more.” Treize said, stroking Duo’s back slowly. Duo relaxed against his body just content it seemed to be held by him. Treize let his thoughts drift, he should have known that Duo wouldn’t be interested in non-stop sex, but rather being held and cuddled. How hard it must have been for him to not touch him all those weeks before Duo gave into his desire and stopped curling up and hiding from him in bed. And how right this felt, listening to Duo breath as he ‘remembered’ him. Treize smiled sadly, if Miri had done this just once with him, he might have never left him. But his first lover lost him again because of his idiocy and he was able to fall in love again with this breathtaking creature in his arms. He played with Duo’s hair and idly traced patterns on his back, not wanting anything more then this.
“I’m sorry,” Duo murmured after a while, tilting his head up to look at T-chan, “I know that you wanted something a little more exciting than this.”
Treize chuckled, “I’m happy with anything that you can give me. I didn’t think that we would get as far as we did.” #Can you believe that I am just content to hold you? I know that you think that this is better then sex; it is. Sex is so fleeting…this…this will last forever.#
“But…”
“You are wonderful, do you know that?” Treize continued softly, “I don’t remember most of the last night that I spent with Miri. I had had too many of those nights…they blurred after a while… but I remembered that you begged him not to hurt me, I had no idea who you were and you were arguing with Miri to protect me. No one had ever bothered to argue with him about anything. I first thought that it was because I had been kind to you, but you were arguing with him because you knew me, you knew who I was.”
“I didn’t want him to hurt you.” Duo murmured, “He is so angry about everything. About his life and the things that went wrong. Did he ever think that all of us, except maybe you and Quatre had a rotten childhood? Hell, Relena might have been better off if the Alliance had nabbed her, then she wouldn’t have been with that pervert.”
“Mmm?” Treize asked, half asleep and content to listen to Duo talk.
“Darlian, the guy that adopted her, he liked her in a bad way too. She wasn’t too upset that Une killed him, just that there were other people taken out too. No matter what he told her before he died, it doesn’t make up for the fact that she spent years thinking that it was her father that was raping her.”
“Oh my God!” Treize exclaimed, waking up a bit more. He sat up and looked at Duo. He could tell that his lover was upset and hated the cynical look that was in his eyes. It had been a very thin line that separated his childhood nightmares from Relena’s. Duo thought that he had it better though; he never, ever thought that any of the bastards that fucked him were doing something wrong, since they were putting food in his mouth and feeding his friends because they were using his body.
“She mentioned once that you had the same reaction when she told you.” Duo said. “And that the only reason that she felt comfortable around you was that you would never look at her like that, that you like guys and that made you ‘safe’ to her.”
“I hope that she continues to feel that way.” Treize said.
“Yeah, she’s relaxed a little. She really freaked when she caught me in bed with Maria. Neither one of us could sleep that night so we crawled into her bed and told each other stories to help us sleep. It didn’t help that I wasn’t wearing much, either. Not that she could tell, I sort of dived under the covers before I thought about it, that move made me look really guilty.” Duo continued, smiling a little. “Not that we have to worry about that when we move back to Earth, Maria sleeps through the night now and so do I, thanks to you and since she doesn’t want to walk in on something, she stays out of the adult bedrooms.”
Treize felt a thrill when Duo mentioned we and implied that they would be sleeping together. He knew that he just had to wait and he would capture his little nymph and they would live happily ever after forever. He smiled and kissed Duo gently on the forehead, he could wait for that. Duo was worth any amount of time.
“How about I grab the rest of the champagne and fruit, then snuggle some more. I think that I am going to be bossy and feed you some more strawberries.”
Duo laughed, “Not if I feed you first!”
Treize laughed and got out of bed. He would adore Duo feeding him strawberries, he should let Duo be a little more proactive in this seduction, since he felt that he was being too stifling with him, that he should let Duo indulge in some of his fantasies with him.
“I’ll let you feed me.” Treize promised, “I think that I’ve…”
“…been too aggressive?” Duo finished with a laugh. “Don’t worry, if there was something wrong I would have told you.”
“Thank you.” Treize said. He had been worried about that. He didn’t think that Duo was so scared of rejection that he would let him do whatever he wanted to his body; Duo wasn’t weak like he was.
“T-chan,” Duo comforted him, “Don’t worry, I will tell you if you are being a bully.” He wasn’t worried about that happening, since he was worried more about T-chan thinking that he was being abusive; Duo knew abusive and this wasn’t it. “And since I am going to feed you, shouldn’t I be the one that gets the food?”
Treize frowned, “If you want to.”
Duo flashed a smile at him and crawled out of bed after giving him a long leisurely kiss. “Just get comfy, lover, and I will stuff you full of strawberries.”
“I’d rather you stuffed something else in me.” Treize murmured back.
Duo smiled mischievously, “Grape? Baklava? Dates?”
Treize reached down and kissed Duo’s cock before answering, “This in me, filling me like I want you to.”
Duo flushed and shook his head, suddenly shy and uncertain, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Like you’ve been hurt so many times?” Treize asked quietly, putting his arms around him for a gentle hug.
Duo looked up, confused, he opened his mouth to ask how he knew that before he really thought about it. It wasn’t hard for him to figure it out how he knew, T-chan had been there when Mirialdo raped him the last time.
“Scar tissue.” Treize said gently, kissing him on the nose, answering his unasked question. “I felt it when I kissed you there.” #Your body betrayed you, more then your words. I should have known that was a problem, how many times did someone use you before you realized that it could be pleasurable? I know that you must have been hurt by more than Miri with the amount of damage that I felt. Had you been conditioned by your life on the streets to think that it was painful because most of the time it was painful for you? If not physically, at least mentally from the amount of perverts that you must have dealt with to keep yourself fed. I don’t know why you let me love you…that you trust me not to hurt you when so many people have. All I know is that it is a priceless gift that you have given me.#
“Oh,” was all Duo could say. He hadn’t even thought of that. Sally had said that there was some scar tissue, and she must have thought that it was all from the gang rape in the Libra’s storeroom, not the result of years of abuse. If T-chan had noticed before, he kept quiet about it because he didn’t want to embarrass him. It wasn’t like T-chan had been that adventurous before with him either, for all the passion and love that they had, they had been pretty tame in bed. He had been the wild one for all T-chan’s sensuality, but then the man could make drinking coffee look damned sexy so he didn’t have to get into the weirdness that Duo knew to make the Johns happy and charge them more.
“I think that I have some too, even if you wouldn’t tell me about it. There were times that Miri wasn’t as careful as he should have been,“ Treize told him, “And…and I think that he raped me before…before I met you. The first time.”
“I…I…didn’t want to tell you…” Duo stammered, caught off guard by his observation. #You don’t remember and I don’t want to tell you that Mirialdo hurt you so badly. Not the physical damage, but the fact that he broke your trust by forcing you…that he went over the line from playing around to abuse. That he used you throughout your relationship, as a means to an end. He used you for protection in the Alliance before he left you to badmouth your dream and OZ in Space. I don’t know what really happened, but over the years I have made guesses based on what I learned from others, that Mirialdo Peacecraft was a bastard and abused your feelings for him even when he was Zechs Merquisa. He might not have realized that he was doing that, but he did it. I hope that it had been good for you in the beginning at least, before he let something other then his need for vengeance control his life. I am not him and I never want to be!#
“That it had happened?” Treize said, “You do know that not telling me might be as bad as lying to me.”
Duo shook his head, he knew that, but he didn’t want to say anything negative about Mirialdo to T-chan, since the guy had taken care of him for a year. He could have left him floating in Space or had him arrested by the authorities. Also he didn’t want to look like the bad guy by constantly badmouthing the bastard.
“I think that he did, just because you were jumpy about me putting my fingers near there once, teasing you.” Duo said slowly, wondering if he was explaining this in the right way, “But I think that you both…umm…control issues when you were together the first time, so it got a bit…difficult towards the end.”
“And?” Treize asked, “I hear an unspoken ‘and’, I’ve gotten very good at that.”
“And the one time that I…I…did that with you,” Duo confessed, staring at his feet, “you told me that it was wonderful for that to happen with someone that loved you.”
Treize smiled with satisfaction, he knew that Duo had been the seme at least once during their first time together, because he couldn’t have been that much of a bastard about being in charge all the time, could he? “That was easy to tell me, wasn’t it?”
Duo nodded, nuzzling T-chan’s chest. He felt wonderful and Duo didn’t want to think beyond this moment, he just wanted to hold him some more.
Treize sighed as he felt Duo hold him. He was being a bully about things again. He just wanted Duo to feel good, he shouldn’t push him about this. Hell, he might not have liked it. “You did like it, didn’t you Duo?” Treize asked in a small voice.
Duo giggled, T-chan sounded so pathetic. T-chan was pushing it, but he wasn’t much better; he should explain to him why he didn’t want to do that with him, he kept saying ‘no’ and acting like an idiot. “I’m a fool, you know.”
“Duo?” Treize asked curiously. What had he done wrong? It wasn’t like it was Duo’s fault that he was acting like a tyrant. Did Duo expect to be flipped on his back and forced to be in him? He knew that he was acting like that was the next thing that he was going to do to him; hell, he had pushed him too much already today, he didn’t think that Duo could wait for this weekend to be over.
“It’s not that I didn’t like it or that I thought that it was weird or something. I’d never done that before actually and it was…spiritual is the only word that I can use to describe our experience. I don’t want to do it now because I’m afraid me being uncomfortable in you.” Duo admitted finally, “Miri hurt you too much over the last year and I think that all this crap on me can’t be good inside of you. I wouldn’t want it in me!”
Treize laughed with relief, he should have known that was the problem. He smiled at Duo’s obvious confusion and the slight hurt that he saw in his eyes. Duo was ashamed of what had been done to him and here he was laughing at it, it wasn’t funny, but he had been so afraid that Duo actually didn’t like being on top, he had had a vision of years of being the seme and he wanted to switch off roles now. He either was relaxed enough finally or trusted Duo enough to want him to do that. Seeing the expressions on Duo’s face as he took him had been priceless and he wanted Duo to see those expressions on his face as he took him.
“I was afraid that you didn’t like that,” he explained quickly, he didn’t want to hurt Duo’s feelings even a little. “And…if it hurt their lovers, why would men do that to themselves? I think that it would be very…intense…to feel those rings move in me.” He was getting excited just thinking about it actually, feeling his cock twitch a little.
“I don’t know…” Duo began and sighed, “I know that it’s a poor body image thing, but…shit I want to spoil you and here we are talking about my problems.”
“This is what this weekend is for.” Treize reminded him gently, “for us to enjoy one another. It’s not just about sex, but learning again why we enjoyed one another. Talking out your problems is important too. You know that I’ll talk about mine eventually.”
Duo nodded, he should have known that T-chan would have secondary and tertiary plans going on, this weekend wasn’t just about screwing around between the sheets, but letting him know that Treize loved him and that it was all right to love him back.
“I’ll get the strawberries, and do you want something besides champagne? I’m thinking about getting a glass of water.” Duo said.
“A glass of water would be nice,” Treize agreed, before lying back down on the bed and closing his eyes.
Duo leaned over and kissed him softly, just a brush of lips against his forehead, as a gesture of comfort more then anything. He walked into the kitchen a grabbed a tall glass, debating whether he should get two or share with T-chan. He shrugged; he could make a couple of trips, since he wasn’t in any hurry, he’d get two glasses of water. He was happy that he remembered to bring a towel with him to put them on, since he didn’t want to leave rings on the night table. He brought in the two glasses, and they more ice than water because it would eventually melt into something drinkable. He then retrieved the strawberries and semi warm and rapidly flattening champagne from the bathroom and then smiled evilly.
T-chan was resting with his eyes closed, apparently snoozing. Duo marveled that such a wonderful man would be so willing to be with him and just drank in the sight of T-chan sprawled out in front of him. He thought for a second that this was a set up and then shook his head. T-chan was sneaky, but he didn’t think that he was that manipulative to set himself up for an ambush so that he would be the ‘top’ so to speak. Duo’s smile widened as he popped a small piece of ice into his mouth and then leaned over T-chan’s chest. He gingerly touched the tip of the cube to T-chan’s nipple, his startled gasp turning him on as he watched the expression of total surprise on his face as the sudden cold hardened his soft nipple almost instantly. God that expression alone made him hard, never mind the noise that T-chan had just made. The look on his face as he did that…that was something that would be in his dreams forever.
Duo swallowed the small piece of ice and asked hoarsely, “You like?” #Mirialdo you bastard I hope that you die screaming in frustration because you finally knew what you drove away from you, the sexiest man in the Universe. God, a few more noises like that and I’m just going to cream all over him. He’s so…enthralling with that face he just made and I want to see that face a lot more.#
“More…” Treize begged, glad that Duo was playing with him. It was something that he wanted from Duo and this was a game that Miri had never tried with him. Nothing so simple as to see what happened with ice or other playful things, Miri liked pain and he was devoted to his ‘toys’ as he called them.
“Tell me to stop if you want…if it gets too much or if…” Duo’s voice trailed off.
Treize leaned up to kiss his cool lips and tongue, enjoying the contrast of Duo’s warm body and his cold mouth. As he brought it back up to room temperature with his tongue, Treize enjoyed the leisurely way that Duo was playing with him, just running his fingers up and down his back lightly. He was thrilled to feel Duo’s cock rubbing against his and he swore that he was so hard that he would burst if Duo touched him. Treize gasped into Duo’s mouth as he suddenly felt another ice cube trace its way up his spine.
“I want it…” he growled into that oh so talented and so sexy mouth that was toying with him.
“Then let me give it to you,” Duo replied, “Lie back and let me show you how wonderful you are.”
Treize regretfully stopped kissing his mouth and settled down on the bed. He wanted Duo to be this masterful with him; Duo wasn’t the only one with body issues. Even now he thought that he was forcing his little nymph into something that he didn’t want to do.
Duo laughed at his expression, “If I get too much for you or I weird you out, the safe word is ‘avocado’.”
“What did you have in mind?” Treize asked, starting to get frightened. Duo couldn’t have changed, didn’t change like he was afraid of because they were having sex, so why give him safe word? Had this all been an act and Duo was going to hurt him like Miri did?
Duo noticed the fear in his eyes and stopped laughing. “Oh shit! I scared you! I promise I really didn’t plan anything weird. Hell, the ice cube was a spur of the moment thing. I just wanted to tell you that I would stop if you wanted me to, I didn’t mean to scare you!” He curled up next to Treize and hugged him. “I’m sorry. I never really did this before with anyone and I heard that a safe word was a good thing, ‘cause sometimes you shout ‘no!’ but it's, ‘no way that felt like that’, instead of ‘no stop this is bad’.”
Treize laughed shakily. He didn’t know what scared him, Duo had to be talked into being as bossy as he was with him. He just ruined it by being frightened by something stupid; Miri never had a safe word and never listened to his saying stop or no either, he should have known that Duo was just trying to reassure him. Duo wasn’t going to try anything with him again if he got upset about something as simple and as thoughtful as telling him a safe word.
“I should have known that; besides, Miri never understood the concept of a safe word. I’m sorry I frightened you my sweet, I was just being silly.”
Duo shook his head, “I should have remembered that most of what happened between you and Miri was some weird bondage stuff sex, not anything like we’re doing, but just in case I do something that weirds you out or you don’t like, use that word. Safe words are a way of saying no without hurting the other guy’s feelings. I know that Miri was a hardcore kink; that doesn’t mean you are.”
Treize hugged Duo back, since he was being so good about all his being silly.
Duo smiled and kissed him gently, “Hey this weekend is for the bothof us, and didn’t someone just tell me that? You have problems too. Bondage games are a problem for you. I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to. There are two of us here and we both have to feel comfortable about what is happening for it to happen.”
Treize thought for a moment and then said quietly, “Then don’t do anything that you aren’t comfortable with, that includes being the seme.”
Duo sighed, “I shouldn’t be such a baby about it. I…well…damn…you will tell me if it’s uncomfortable or it’s too odd for you? I’m just worried that they would hurt inside you. I also know now that they’re gonna be with me for a while, until someone figures out how to get them out of me without singeing the crap out of my body. Gundiniam can be destroyed; it just takes a lot of heat. And who knows, Howard maybe lying to me about what these things are made out of.”
“I hope so.” Treize agreed.
“I don’t mind some of it,” Duo said quietly, “all of them are just too much.”
Treize sat up and stared at Duo, noticing that his last remark seemed to have brought a beautiful flush to his complexion. Duo was embarrassed about that? Why should be, while he may not have asked for this, it doesn’t mean that he couldn’t get used to it. And if you could remove those things went a long way towards liking them in your body.
“What would you keep?” he asked curiously.
Duo blushed brighter, but confessed, “The navel ring. Maybe one of the nipple rings. The earrings, but everything else is going. I don’t care about the fact that I can tie my cock down and have a smooth pant line, they are all going from down there!”
Treize laughed, “I also will confess to a couple of deep, dark secrets. I liked being tied up, but that was about the only thing that I really enjoyed with Miri and towards the end that wasn’t nice anymore. I like being the uke and I think its for the same reason that you do”
#Love. Trust. The closeness of being joined with someone that way. When I thought that Miri loved me, I wanted him to fill me and mark me as his, feel him inside me and be joined with me.#
Duo shrugged, “I might be able to do that in a while, but not now,” he stared at his bracelets, “they sort of ruin it for me too. In a year or so…who knows? Hell I might ask you to tie me up and have your wicked way with me.”
Treize nodded, “I understand, as I said it wasn’t nice anymore and I don’t think that I want to do it again soon, at least not as a steady diet, like it had been.”
“See,” Duo started, ”This is a good thing, this weekend and I’m glad that I let you talk me into this. I’m just…”
“…worried that I’ll leave you.” Treize said, “I won’t. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, help you raise our daughter and grow old with you. Nothing will change that, even though you want to give me the time to discover if that is what I really want. That gift of time shows me how much you love me.”
Duo curled around him, “I don’t want you to feel trapped by that love. If you want to walk away after our time apart I will understand. It’ll hurt…but trapping you in a relationship would hurt more. Just because…”
“…we made love that isn’t a commitment?” Treize asked. “BULLSHIT! I wouldn’t have touched you at all if I didn’t love you. I would have told to that I was sleeping on the couch if I hadn’t fallen in love with you. This is a commitment on my part and if it isn’t on yours…”
“…I’m so frightened that I can’t be what you need, who you love. I know that you saw me at my worst; can you deal with me when I’m healed? When we are on Earth and in the spotlight? Une and Relena are important people and they have a social circle and parties that we have to attend, if only because we live with them. Can you handle that? No one is going to think that you’re Treize Khushrenada, but as my lover…there will be questions. Or scandals because people may think that you’re sleepin’ with either Une or Relena instead of or along with me, the gossips are going to have a field day with this. I told you that this place was a never-never land.”
Treize smiled and leaned down to kiss Duo, after a few minutes he let his lover up for air. “I can do anything so long as I am with you. As for the social set, why would the gardener be invited to all those functions?”
Duo laughed, “Because the chief cook and bottle washer would die of boredom if he went alone. People include me because of you actually, as I told you a long time ago; you left me a ton of money. I am actually a someone in the social set and it scares the crap out of me.”
“We can deal that when we have to.” Treize said softly, snuggling into Duo’s body. “Now is when we are dealing with something else.”
Duo sighed and cuddled back, “Then I should start feeding you. I don’t want you to waste away because I didn’t feed you.”
Treize laughed, he wasn’t the one that was skinny. He’d let Duo feed him his strawberries, and it would be interesting to see how he was being to be fed.
Duo mocked frowned at him and picked up one of the strawberries, slowly tracing T-chan’s lips with the fruit before letting him take a small bite. He then rubbed the bitten end of the berry over one of T-chan’s nipples, smearing the fruit and juice on it before licking it off feeling T-chan’s body react to what he was doing to him.
Treize moaned, feeling Duo’s lips on his body was wonderful. Duo started to gently nurse on that nipple even while he was feeding him he rest of the berry.
“Lie back,” Duo ordered huskily, letting his breath play across the nub that he had been teasing earlier.
Treize leaned back, and was rewarded by Duo leaning over him feeding him another berry by holding it in his mouth, the both of them nibbling on the fruit until it was gone. He licked his lips and Duo, tasting the sweetness that he found there and then gasped suddenly when Duo teased his sternum with an ice cube, letting the small chip melt its way down to his stomach then sucking the water off of him.
“God…” Treize moaned, what had happened to the shy Duo of moments before? Give the man some reassurances and he turned into a torturing little minx! This was wonderful and wicked and he couldn’t wait for Duo to tease him some more.
“Been one…” Duo murmured into his ear, feeding his a strawberry normally this time.
Treize choked out a laugh and kissed his shoulder, loving the fact that Duo could joke about what had happened to him.
“Wasn’t thatfunny,” Duo complained, lifting him up so that he could give him a sip of champagne.
“It was to me, I like that…” Treize started before the rest of his sentence was cut off by another strawberry.
Duo grinned at him and shrugged, “Anyone ever tell you that you make eating strawberries sexy. I’ve got to keep a pint of them and other fruit around, just to feed you.”
He moaned a little when Treize started to lick the fingers that were near his mouth, then suck on them lightly.
“No one ever told me that I was sexy,” Treize told him, enjoying the slightly glazed look to Duo’s face. Finger sucking and ear nibbling were good for him.
“You are.” Duo replied and then fished around for another ice cube to torture him with.
Treize grinned at him around his fingers. Duo was going for the big guns. He gasped when the ice hit his back, arching him into Duo’s body.
“I figure that the fruit would be a fun post fooling around activity.” Duo informed him.
Treize reluctantly stopped tracing the calluses on Duo’s finger with his tongue, “Ice is nice.”
Duo laughed again, “Bad something…rhyming or punning or whatever.”
Treize smiled and whispered, “I like it when you’re bad…show me.”
Duo nodded, his mouth suddenly dry even as the blood raced to his cock and he just had to have T-chan, not to possess him, but to show him that it wasn’t bad to be the uke. That bad had so many different shades that it didn’t have to be dominance games and pain, just plain teasing and mischief.
Duo popped and ice cube in his mouth and stated tracing odd patterns on T-chan’s skin, just to see the man writhe. He was careful not to get too odd and really listen to the whimpers that T-chan was making, to see that he wasn’t pushing him over his limits.
Treize writhed and moaned. He was lost in the feelings that Duo was causing him as he played with his body. Duo’s hands and hair were all over him, the roughened fingertips and silken strands sending his nerves on fire, the warmth of his mouth teasing his heated skin as much as the endless supply of ice cubes cooled off his skin while setting his body on fire. He didn’t know what Duo was doing, all that he knew was that it felt good, all of the things that he was doing to him.
Treize was startled to feel Duo parting his legs, he had felt his fingers down there gently, starting to prepare him, but had been distracted by the feel of his mouth his stomach and Duo’s hair tickling his entire body. He gasped in surprise, focusing at last on Duo as he tugged his body closer to the edge of the bed.
“Do you trust me T-chan?” Duo asked quietly.
“With my life…my heart and my soul,” Treize replied huskily. He did. He wasn’t even frightened at what Duo was going to do him, that for all his brave words he had been nervous about Duo making love to him that way. He thought that he would be, but he could be afraid of the slender nymph that had given his so much pleasure that he couldn’t even think straight.
Duo smiled at him, then placed the tip of his penis at Treize’s opening, “You don’t have to…” he offered quietly. Duo was so hard it hurt and he was high and drunk on the sounds that his lover had been making, but he was going to give him a chance to stop.
“Duo…” Treize begged, “I want you in me…feel you…please…please.”
Duo thrust shallowly, barely entering him. Treize gasped as he filled him and then slide out. Duo thrust slowly, watching Treize carefully for any sign of discomfort, hoping that he could stop if Treize asked him too. He was so tight and hot that Duo didn’t know why he ever argued against this, stopped when he filled him completely and waited, letting Treize adjust to him inside his body. He fought the urge to thrust hard and fast, knowing that it would be sweeter and better for the two of them if he kept it to slower pace. Duo leaned over and laid his head on T-chan’s torso and wished that he were tall enough to kiss him. He was thankful that T-chan seemed relaxed underneath him and wasn’t too surprised to hear demand breathlessly, “Move Duo. You aren’t hurting me.”
Treize smiled, only Duo would torture him when all he wanted to do was make sure that he wasn’t hurting him. He was wondering if he should be tactless enough to point out that Duo’s penis was shaped like him, slender and short. There was a big difference between his gentle possession of his body and the demanding way that Miri used him, so it didn’t hurt. There was just some slight pressure as he entered and then a wonderful feeling of fullness, when Duo slowly took him. Treize marveled as he felt every ring that was in Duo’s penis stroke his inner walls and seemed to make everything feel so different.
Duo didn’t answer him, but leaned back a little and started to rock his hips gently, searching for that special spot inside him. Treize panted helplessly, rolling his head back and forth, and then suddenly letting out a small scream when Duo found it, rubbing it wonderfully with his cock and the rings in his body, making Treize cry out, “hard…faster…so good… so…” before he was reduced to groaning incoherently.
Duo moaned and thrust faster, giving into what his body wanted more then what his mind was telling him. He braced his arms on the mattress and leaned over, taking T-chan’s bobbing penis into his mouth, sucking on the tip as his hips independently, moving faster and faster as he came closer to his own climax, almost screaming when T-chan flooded his mouth with his seed, choking him a little before he managed to swallow it all. T-chan’s muscle’s tightening around his penis sent him over the edge and he threw his head back, thrusting hard into his lover one more time before he filled him with his essence. It was so intense that he couldn’t make a sound and all he could see was T-chan’s glazed eyes looking at him as he filled his body. Duo collapsed onto T-chan, sobbing a little and shivering uncontrollably as soon as he stopped coming.
“Shh...ssh,” Treize soothed him. God it had been intense for him, he could believe that Duo was flexible enough do that with him. Being penetrated and swallowed was so extreme and he felt so drained that he didn’t think that he could make love to Duo again his weekend, never mind the rest of today.
“ehh…” Duo sighed
“It was…intense…”
“I didn’t hurt you?” Duo murmured into his chest.
Treize stroked his sweat soaked body and smiled, “I am unhurt by the experience. However, I do think that a couple of my brain cells were permanently fried when I experience how extreme those rings feel inside.”
“I’m…”
“…exhausted,” Treize told him lightly, finally covering he two of them with a blanket, “Just lie on me…I want that.”
“I think that… I couldn’t do this again anytime soon.” Duo muttered.
“I think that it’s going to take me a little while to recover also.” Treize told him gently as his breathing evened out and Duo fell asleep in him. Treize just prayed that Duo was now too tired to have any of his usual nightmares, because he shouldn’t be punished for his love by the ghosts of his past.
They spent the rest of the weekend cuddling and caressing each other. There was a dreamy quality to their actions, as if all the passion had been spent the first few times that they had made love. They left the bedroom only to eat, slowly feeding each other tidbits and not wanting to be out of each other’s sight it seemed. Their climaxes were gentler now, bitter-sweet by the fact that they had finally given into their passions only before they were going to separate from each other. It didn’t matter what role either one of them were in the dance that they were doing, receiver or giver, all that matter was the look of joy and pleasure on their partner’s face when they reached their release. It was with great reluctance that they finally cleaned up and got dressed, leaving the apartment for the last time together. They had wisely packed before the weekend started, knowing that they would not have the inclination or the energy to do it no matter how their date had turned out.
Duo sighed, hugging T-chan good bye at the airport. It had been a wonderful couple of days, but now it was time for him to leave. He didn’t want to go, it was a stupid idea to go, but they had to go. He needed to check out a few things on L2 colony V01277 and T-chan had to find out how being on his own was like. He wanted to see how things have changed there, see how things had improved now that the war was over. He knew that Howard was going to be looking for them, if he was alone he might not stand out and Howard wouldn’t get them. If they were together, they might be caught. He didn’t want to be running for the rest of his life, but being cautious wasn’t bad either. Eventually they could go home. Home. That was a wonderful word now that they had one.
“You don’t have to leave,” Duo said softly.
Treize laughed, “I can say the same to you. But we have made all the arrangements and we should leave, like we planned.” He really didn’t want to, but he thought that if both of them were gone from this place it would be better. They had arranged for a moving company to ship home some of the odds and ends that they had picked up over the last few months and a cleaning company to go over the place after they were gone. They had made their decision and they were leaving, Duo was getting a bit antsy that they had been in the same place for a couple of months. And this was listed as being owned by Winner Industries, so it wouldn’t be hard to find them if Mirialdo and Howard started searching the colonies for them.
“Earth for you, for a couple of months, so that you can travel and see things. The Parthenon, I bet that you’d have a good time there,” Duo told him with a smile.
“I would have a wonderful time if you were with me.” Treize told him.
Duo smiled and kissed him, “A couple of months and then you can meet me on L2 and we can figure out what we can do. I think that we might have to have another extended vacation, courtesy of Quatre, but I can live with that now.”
“You’ve made your peace with him?” Treize asked.
Duo nodded, “He was under a lot of pressure and it could have turned out worse for him. He could have used the ZERO System and ended up permanently in la-la land.”
“That’s good, because I think that Uncle Trowa is going to want to spend a lot of time with Maria after this and Quatre and Trowa are still together.”
Duo laughed, “Like Trowa and Heero and Trowa and Wufei too.”
“Jealous?” Treize asked teasingly.
Duo shook his head, smiling slightly. “I have you and that is all that I need.”
End Part Twenty-Seven
Christine
Comments? Email Devilkitty@speakeasy.net