02-Sep-2003
Title: Fallout
Author: Christine
e-mail: Devilkitty@speakeasy.net
Pairing:Rashidx2, mentioned 5x3, Rashidx1
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: See part A
Heero snuck into the room that he thought Duo might be in, after observing this place for a couple of days and not seeing his partner. He knew that this might be a fool's errand, but he had to try. He needed to see if Duo had walked out on them willingly or if he had been kidnapped like he had feared. Reassuring message or not, he wanted to talk to Duo. He wasn't too surprised to see Duo sprawled naked, except for a belt and a leash, across a huge, low bed. Rashid had struck him as a possessive bastard, one that would keep Duo in line, whether he needed or wanted that if his life now, even if he had enjoyed that kind of dominance before with the man. What surprised him was that Duo had a leash around his neck and the other end was attached to the bed. That didn't look at all voluntary, no matter what had been written in that e-mail that they had gotten. He crept across the room and hoped that he didn't get caught. He woke up Duo with a hand across his mouth in case he screamed when he woke him. As Duo's eyes opened Heero was concerned when he saw that they were all pupils and stared blindly upwards, before slowly focusing on him. Duo was stoned out of his mind and that was not a good sign. He didn't do drugs or drinking, he said didn't like the feeling of being that unfocused. That would explain why he hadn't been restrained, because he didn't know which what was happening he was so drugged up.
Duo blinked at Heero before giving him hard hug that overbalanced the other boy and he fell on top of Duo. "Heero... missed you. I... I thought that he was gonna let me go... you know. Just for the summer... that he got in touch with you..."
Heero tried to get untangled from him, and fought with his feelings not to stay in that embrace. Duo smelled of semen and sweat and faintly of something spicy, but he didn't care about that. Heero was very willing just to lie with his partner and hug him, because he hadn't realized how much he needed the other pilot until he was gone. "I got the message," Heero said gently. "But I have to get you out of here. I don't think that this was a good idea." #Before I decide that I like seeing chained to the bed waiting to be fucked, its not the drugs, but the lack of control. I am getting hard just seeing you like this and I don't want you to know that, because then I'd be like that bastard Quatre and the rest of them that hurt me.#
Duo shook his head, tears starting to stream down his cheeks, not listening to anything that he was saying "He won't let me go... I ran... a couple of times, but he just keeps bringing me back. I haven't pissed him off enough to have him give me to Abdul and the others for punishment, like Abdul suggested."
"Abdul," Heero whispered.
He had nightmares about being in the power of those men again, but he couldn't walk away from this, he didn't care if Duo was here willingly or not, he was taking him home. This was looking like this was looking like Duo was a prisoner, but Duo had had some odd tastes in sexual playing around. Things that he never would or could indulge in with Heero, because Heero never told him that he was willing to try them with Duo. Rashid might just have been catering to his needs the way he hadn't, but he didn't think that was the case, not with what he was telling him. Not with the way that Duo had kept such ridge control over himself during all the time, but especially anything sexual. Duo wasn't doing anything other then blow or hand jobs with him in bed, watching him enjoying Duo's touch, but never really letting himself get lost in the sensation of sex, like he used to with G and Howard. Heero had heard a lot from Howard over the past months about how wild Duo had been in bed with them. He just caught a glimpse of it that one time when he saw Duo with Rashid. He mourned that part of Duo that he had killed off when he no longer the wild kid that he had been before that rescue. Duo shouldn't have punished himself for being himself with Rashid by not really enjoying sex anymore with anyone.
He had hoped that this would be good for him, that Duo would be what he had been with Howard and G before that mission, but he guessed that this wasn't working either if Rashid was being abusive. He had read Rashid's message with mixed feelings, upset that Duo was gone and happy that he was going to be with the man that he loved and someone that could take care of him. He was glad that he had given into the small jealous voice that had spoken to him when he received Rashid's message or else he didn't know what would have happened to his partner. He knew that he wasn't what Duo needed, since he never knew how to get over his fears of hurting Duo and be what Duo wanted him to be, a sexual partner that dominated him. Duo didn't need this crap nonetheless and he was going to get him out of here and then they were both going to get help.
Duo nodded, continuing to babble, "Some of 'em are still here... and Rashid won't share... but you got to get out of here... here... here... "
Heero ignored Duo's incoherent explanation, he was trying to figure out how Duo was attached to the bed, he figure that he could cut the blasted thing off, but he didn't want take the time. It would be faster to unbuckle it then saw through that thick leather. They had to get out of here before he was caught trying to free Duo.
Duo continued to talk, "I can't really tell what is going on now. The food is drugged, the water is drugged... all I do is float until he wants me again. After he's through... "
Heero frowned and then tugged at the belt, wondering why Duo was wincing. "What's this?"
Duo laughed shakily, "Rashid thinks it might keep me happy, but I don't want it and he doesn't believe me..."
Heero shuddered. This was scary. He remembered vaguely how Rashid had acted with Duo when he had seen them together. He had been protective of Duo in the face of Quatre's taunts to Duo and he seemed to have cared for Duo. Duo had mentioned that Rashid seemed fascinated with him because of a few things, the way that he had acted around the older man when they were together, that he seemed to be the only person that had been playful with the big man. If he had known that this would have happened he would have made sure that Rashid was dead, along with Quatre.
"... I can't hold out any longer... " Duo continued, ignoring what Heero was doing.
He thought he was talking to another hallucination, since he had had a few with the drugs. Hallucinations where Quatre was still laughing at him for getting caught by him and other hallucinations, like the one where G was standing over him wondering why he had ever bothered with combat training for such a fucked up whore like he was. All he had been good for was sex and Rashid would be the one that finally taught him his place. Things that depressed him even more then what Rashid was doing to him. Was Rashid trying to punish him and show him how dirty and wrong he was to want to be owned by his lover? Or was Rashid just fucking up and thinking that he wanted this? He didn't know because he couldn't even string a coherent sentence together anymore he was so screwed up by the drugs.
Heero frowned again and started unbuckling that contraption and shivered when he looked at Duo's body. A good thing that he did come here, this sounded bad. Duo might have gone with him willingly, but it had changed somehow and now he was a prisoner.
"Duo... you're... you're... what did he do to you?"
Heero was looking at Duo's body in shock. There was a lot of bruising, it looked like Duo was fighting back or Rashid was getting a wee bit violent. As much as he didn't like Rashid, Heero was leaning more to the fighting back theory then Rashid deliberately physically hurting Duo, aside from the stupidity of kidnapping him in the first place. The bruises didn't look right for Rashid to be hitting him to hurt Duo, just looked like he was trying to restrain him if he got too out of control fighting him. Skinnier then he should be and smooth. That little dusting of curls down to his groin from his navel that he liked to play with was gone and he looked too young without those curls or any hair on his body. He looked like the kid that had snuck out of that colony all those years ago. Did Duo want this or was it something else that Rashid had done to him? God why did he just want to lick Duo all over now to see what he tasted like everywhere and to explore what he felt like without hair and love him like he wanted to for so long?
Duo giggled, with a slight edge of madness to the sound. "He wanted me smooth... I should have known... "
Heero managed to unbuckle Duo from the bed and then started on that belt. If that thing was hurting Duo, he was going to get it out of him. He had to get Duo out of here before he did something stupid, like giving into the urges that he had had over the last few months about his sleeping companion, now that he couldn't fight back. "Turn over. I'm getting that thing out of you."
Duo flipped on his stomach, sighing with relief when Heero undid the ties that held that dildo in him and slowly drew out the phallus, Heero winced when he saw the size. Rashid was a monster to make Duo wear this if he didn't want to He tossed it across the room, disgusted that such things existed and ashamed that he wondered what it would feel like inside him. He wondered why he even wanted to think about that now... was there something in the air here that made you lose all common sense? He knew how it would feel, terrible and hurtful like before, when Quatre and the Manganacs had him.
Duo rolled over and asked in a drained voice, "You want to see if you fit? You... you probably will ... I don't care... thought that you should try it before you make up your mind... "
"We have to leave Duo," Heero said in a firm voice, trying to ignore Duo's ramblings.
Rashid was crazier then Quatre if he thought that this was going to help him win Duo's love. Shit he already had it, was Rashid too stupid to realize that? Duo sounded so bad and he had that defeated look lurking in the back of his eyes. He was close to breaking. How could one man screw Duo up so much so fast? Why didn't he see that this might happen and take care of Duo and try to protect him from this madness? He had thought that Rashid had survived Duo's attempt to kill him and he should have known that the other man would find them eventually. He had gotten careless and Duo was being hurt because of it. Shit he should have done what Howard told him to do ages ago and stop treating Duo like a friend and more like a lover. Even if it meant crossing boundaries that he didn't know how to handle, Duo could have taught him what he needed to know. He didn't though and Rashid had taken Duo and hurt him.
"... it's nasty now... don't care if Abdul and the others have me... they aren't... " Duo continued softly.
"They would hurt you Atryat," Rashid informed Duo calmly, from behind the two of them. "I do not want them to."
Heero dived for the gun that he had set aside to free Duo, not surprised that Rashid already held it and casually cuffed him aside at that move. The giant could move quietly if he wanted to and did when he snuck up on the two of them. And Heero knew that he wasn't in the top of his form any more. Peace had slowed his reflexes a hair and that had cost him his freedom. Rashid then had him pinned to the bed and he couldn't struggle, he had no leverage to throw the older man off, no matter how strong he was.
"I should have known that you would have found us," Rashid informed him.
Heero would be the only one that he thought would chase after Duo. He had seen the way that he had looked at his little one when he was spying on them. Heero loved Duo very much and would see if he was happy with him before he moved on with his life. If he could... Heero was floundering during the peace as much as Duo was. No one to tell him what to do and no guidelines from his controller had left Heero a very lost young man. Was that why he was with his Duo? Two lost children trying to figure out how to live in a strange, new world of peace and clinging to each other because they had no one else.
Heero stopped struggling and glared at Rashid, "And I'm glad that I did. What fucking stupid idea told you that this was a good thing? Listen to Duo... if he doesn't hate you now, he's very close to it. Or close to killing himself just to get away from you."
Heero wasn't surprised to hear Duo moving behind him, crawling across the bed towards Rashid, pleading with him, sobbing brokenly and trying to talk through his tears. "I'll be good... I'll stay... don't hurt him... he just wanted to help... let him go... I'll do anything... please... don't... I'll stay... I'll be good... "
"That what you want?" Heero hissed in frustration. "Duo pleading with you... afraid of you... broken by you?"
Rashid winced at that accusation. He never wanted that for his atryat¿. All he wanted was for Duo to enjoy being with him. "Duo... " he let his voice trail off. He didn't know what to say. That was his problem. He never knew what to say to the little ifrit¿ that stole his heart when he finally got him back. If he had managed to ruin him he would be lost.
Duo looked up at him, eyes wild and hurt. "How do you want me? What can I do? Don't hurt him!"
"Atryat... "
Duo started crying again, "Don't hurt him... he worried about me... you... you hurt him... he... just... just... "
"Either let me go and reassure him that you're not going to hurt me or let me go so I can talk to him and calm him down before he's hysterical," Heero hissed.
Rashid dropped the hold he had on Heero and reached out to Duo. Duo flinched and knelt on the bed, facing away from Rashid, face down on the bed and ass in the air. After a minute he turned around and looked at Rashid, crying at the stunned look on Rashid's face. "I'm sorry... I thought... that's all... "
Heero growled and grabbed Duo, gathering him in his arms and rubbing his back, lying down on the bed with him. "Shh... shh... don't cry. I'm fine... shh... "
"All he wanted... I thought that he'd be glad... I learned my place... "
Heero rocked Duo in his arms and recited a steady stream of reassurances and comfort in his ear, stroking his hair until he fell back to sleep. He was conscious of Rashid's eyes on him the entire time he was soothing Duo and he knew that there was no way they was getting out of here without going through the man. Duo was in no condition to do anything to help them escape, between the lack of food and water, the drugs and the abuse. He just had to wait and see what he could do to get them out of there. It wasn't like he had anything to lose, because he had been hurt that way before and he survived.
"What the hell do you have him on?" Heero asked sharply. Duo hated drugs, why didn't Rashid ever figure that out? What was wrong with the man? Could he learn from his mistakes? Duo might not have protested this last time, but then there were a whole lot of things different now.
Rashid frowned at his tone, but answered him. "The same drugs that he had been on before opium... hashish... various herbal concoctions...things to make him docile for me and not want to leave."
"Stop drugging him," Heero snarled. Was the guy so sick that he wanted Duo like this?
"But... he wanted to leave again," Rashid said in despair.
Heero sighed. Hell he wanted to just grab Duo and run, but if he explained the problem to the older man, maybe he would be reasonable about things. He waited this long to nab Duo, he could have hunted them down right after they escaped. He might really love Duo and just be as rotten as he was with people skills. Duo actually might need this from all the crap that G had told him when he threw the two of them together during the war. Howard had also mentioned one night when they were talking that Duo wanted or needed to have all of the control in the hands of his lover or lovers. It had scared and fascinated G that he had trained a Gundam pilot that was also such a submissive sexual person. Duo was a good name for him because he seemed to be two different people in his sexy body. But did Duo want this type of relationship now, since he still felt guilty about what had happened years ago? No matter how much he also seemed to need it? Heero had known that Duo was going through the motions with going to college. It was a goal for him, not something that he enjoyed, but it was something that was a symbol to him, that he was better then that little kid that got off the colonies, that he had a brain as well as looks. That he could make something of himself and be what most people considered 'normal'.
Rashid and Quatre might have been two of a kind and they have both liked to play with people's emotions. Rashid might have waited this long because it would hurt Duo more. He was flying blind and didn't like it. He hoped that Rashid was just being an idiot and that he was not trying to be as sadistic as Quatre had been. He wasn't getting that off of him, but he wasn't the best judge of character. Rashid seemed as lost as the rest of them were about how to deal with emotions and relationships, the needs that they all had because of the way that they had been trained and the mental damage that they had suffered because of that training and what had happened to them during the war.
"I told him once that I couldn't how anyone would want to have sex with another person. That it was nasty. This was right after we escaped from you so I was a little prejudiced about sex, since up to that point all I had for experience was rape." Heero said dryly. "But Duo just told me the same thing... so you fucked this up, whatever your plan had been with him, tying him up like this. He doesn't hate you yet, but it's close. And for Duo... sex was the next best thing to breathing a lot of times. It isn't with us ... but I saw that look on his face when Quatre dragged me into your room and you were together. Duo... I never was able to make him look like that."
"I need him, he was the only one that... " Rashid fell silent.
Duo wasn't enjoying him now. He cried when Rashid took him, so he stopped attempting to make love to him and just held him, wanting only to please him and not knowing how. His gift had cried and fought him when Rashid tried to give him pleasure that he deserved. He wasn't eating or drinking since he figured out that all the food was drugged. He gave in to his hunger and thirst only when it overwhelmed him. Most of the time Rashid felt that he was laying with a doll, and not the passionate nymph that had warmed his bed before he tried to leave him. This wasn't what he wanted, but he couldn't let Duo go again. He would eventually come around to his way of thinking, be who Rashid needed him to be. What he knew he was meant to be and that he shouldn't be ashamed about it.
"If that's all you think that he's good for no wonder he's a bit crazy!" Heero exclaimed, "He's a Gundam Pilot! That means he can do a whole lot of things that would be useful for you. Things that might get him killed or take him away from you, but k'so he's a trained killer! He isn't a little doll for you to play with!"
"But... "
"He can shoot better then half your men, is an excellent pilot, and is a damn good hacker. He's wasted just warming your bed!" Heero half screamed, before he calmed down. "Rashid let him do what he wants... if he wants you... he'll come back and let you play with him." #If you let him go, he will come back to you, can't you understand that?#
"And why will he come back if he has you?" Rashid asked, jealous of the trust that Duo had with Heero. He flinched or cried when Rashid was near him now, that broke his heart. Duo was meant to be enjoyed by him, so why was he afraid of him? He thought that this is what his little one wanted.
"Me?" Heero asked in surprise and then laughed softly. "I always thought that I was his second choice, since he thought he killed you to get me away from Quatre. There is no us, I think that we're friends that occasionally have sex." #I think that we both might want more, but we're too afraid to screw up what we have to ask the other one for it.#
Rashid sat down on the bed, trying not to get upset when Heero protectively tightened his grip on Duo. Was it to shield Duo... or himself? Duo had mentioned that Heero had been changed by what Quatre and his men had done to him. Did he still wake up nights, wondering if they were going to find him? Rashid remembered vaguely Heero glaring at him as he took him. Beaten into physical submission, he still refused to be bowed by what was happening to him. He just waited until he could strike back and then escaped after killing Sahib Quatre. Heero was one of whose body would be broken before his spirit was. He needed this boy to help him repair the damage that he had done to his precious one. He would humble himself before this rival for his gift's affections.
"If my atryat, decides that he wants to stay... would you stay with him?"
Heero frowned at the question and smoothed Duo's hair back before answering him. "Gift... you keep calling him that, but you treat him like he's dirt. But if he wanted to stay with you and you were going to treat him right, I wouldn't argue with him about that." #I'd hate it, but if that's what he wants, I'd let him go. I love him enough to know that he would not be happy with me the way that I am now and I know that I can't really be all that he needs.#
"Would you stay with him?" Rashid repeated his offer, hating the begging tone in his voice, he didn't want to lose Duo and he didn't know how to repair the damage to his relationship. "If I treated both of you right?"
"I don't know what you're offering, but I think that Duo needs to get the hell out of here," Heero told him bluntly. "He isn't capable of making a rational decision right now. You screwed with his emotions too much and hit him where he was vulnerable, he's close to breaking and still you won't let him go." #Rashid are you as desperate as I am to be with Duo that you would let me stay? I can share, because I know that Duo still loves you even if his won't admit it. I just don't know if could stay here with you, too many bad memories of being used by your men. Do you really want me?#
"If he refuses to come back?" Rashid asked in a whisper. He needed Duo, needed the man because he had been the only one that had treated him as person, as a man to enjoy and to laugh with.
"Then it wasn't meant to be," Heero said. "That whatever you saw in him isn't going to last more then an encounter or two."
"I do not want to take that chance," Rashid said firmly. "You are both staying." #I have acted badly and confused Duo, so that he will leave me for the wrong reasons. I think that the two of you would be very happy as my lovers and you are staying with me! I will not be so cruel as to leave you alone because I took Duo when you need someone also.#
Heero had leaned down to check on Duo's breathing, because it sounded a little ragged, like he was coming down with something. At that statement he started to look up and the last thing that he saw was Rashid's fist slamming into his temple.
Heero groaned and sat up. Actually he tried to sit up, he was tied up, since his arms were fastened someplace above his head. His legs were free and Duo was curled up with his head on his chest, asleep still. Heero started to panic when he realized that his clothes where gone. He took a deep breath to calm himself and wondered how long he had been unconscious and what did Rashid have planned for the two of them? He briefly wondered if he was being restrained so that he wouldn't kill himself before he was sent to the barracks.
Duo stirred at the sound of Heero's voice and opened his eyes sleepily, "Heero?"
Heero was relieved that he sounded better, the thread of hysteria was gone from his voice and his pupils were their normal size now, so the drugs must have worn off. Duo looked like he did waking up together anytime over the last few years. "I missed you." It sounded stupid, but that was all he could say.
Duo sat up and then started fumble with the restraints that were holding Heero in place. "Oh shit. I thought that you were something that I dreamt up."
"He is here to rescue you atryat," Rashid told him, "but I think that the two of you will be very comfortable here together. Don't you?"
Heero looked up and noticed that Rashid had been sitting calmly by the side of the bed, waiting for the two if them to wake up. What had been going through the bigger man's mind as he watched them sleep? What plans had he made? What was he going to do to them? He hated being naked and vulnerable around Rashid, he had hurt him badly when he had raped him because he was so big. That Rashid was naked too was scaring him in ways that his training with Doctor J had never done. Was he going to hurt him again?
Duo continued to fumble with the restraints and ignored Rashid. He was the screw up, not Heero and Heero was not going to be Rashid's pet too! Or, Duo's stomach clenched at this thought, the barrack's fuck toy either.
Rashid sighed and went over to the bed to stop Duo. What was his problem? Heero would keep him company while Rashid was gone and why hadn't Duo ever figured out that Heero needed someone to order him around as much as he did. Not sexually, but Heero seemed unable or unwilling to take charge of his life. What was the problem that Duo had now? He leaned over and gently gathered Duo's hands in his to stop what he was doing. He wasn't unprepared for the kick that Duo lashed out with, shifting his body so that it missed before trying to hold Duo still. Duo reacted by turning into a mass of arms and legs, kicking and screaming until he managed to pin him on top of Heero, with his arms behind his back. Rashid was saddened that Duo had fought him and glad that he managed to keep his body under control, even if he had two beautiful men beneath him.
"Duo... atryat, why are you upset?" Rashid asked in a sorrowful tone.
"Let him GO!" Duo screamed, "He... he... don't... NO!"
"I'm okay Duo," Heero said quietly. He really wasn't but Duo was so scared for him, that wasn't right. It wasn't Duo's fault that he came looking for him and got caught by Rashid. This was something that he had screwed up on his own, like trusting Quatre. He was uncomfortable tied up like this and he really didn't want to watch Rashid with Duo again... or have Duo watch him with Rashid if that was what the big man wanted. They both were prisoners and it wasn't Duo's fault no matter how much he blamed himself.
Duo looked up, staring into Heero's eyes. "I'm sorry," he said softly.
"Will you behave yourself?" Rashid asked sorrowfully.
Duo shook his head, "I can't lie. I don't care what happens anymore to me. I'll fight you though until I can't anymore about Heero. He doesn't deserve to pay for my mistakes."
"You both will be well taken care of and Heero will stay with you in our rooms," Rashid promised him. "No one will harm him. No one will hurt either of you."
He was hurt that Duo said that he didn't care anymore. Why couldn't he understand that he loved him deeply? He would be taken care of for the rest of his life, while he would indulge his every wish and pamper him, like he should be since he was so special. Duo shouldn't be fighting him like he was, since he was going against the wishes of Allah and his own needs. They were all just confused about addressing those needs.
"Including you?" Duo asked suspiciously.
Rashid smiled, he was finally seeing some life back in his atryat. Heero had been right about the drugs. He might be right about other things that he said, but he didn't want to chance that. "I would like to see what Heero is like in his passion, but you could show me that just as well."
Duo shuddered when he heard that. It would be rape either way... Heero just got to choose his rapist.
"I trust you," Heero whispered to Duo. He knew that Duo would be gentle with him. Rashid he wasn't too sure of, the man horrified him because of the way that he was built. How did Duo get that thing inside of him?
Duo buried his head in Heero's chest, defeated for now. He was surprised that Heero had agreed to that, they had never even... really... done it in all the time that they had been together. "Whatever you want Rashid," he said tonelessly.
Heero was warm underneath him and relaxed, even with the combined weight of Rashid and himself on top of his body and being trapped and tied up. He felt good and Duo wanted this all to be a dream, something that was what he could wake up from. Any moment he was going to find out that he had dozed off over a book and was back at the house and this had never happened outside his own sick mind.
"I want you to enjoy me," Rashid said quietly. He didn't like the fact that Duo sounded so lifeless again. What had he said wrong? "I want you to trust me again."
"Then treat me like I have feelings!" Duo cried, twisting his head around to stare at Rashid. "I don't want to be your prisoner! I don't want you threatening Heero!"
"I only tied you up to protect you!" Rashid shouted with frustration, letting Duo go. Duo rolled off of Heero and stared at Rashid furiously. Rashid was hurting Heero, he didn't need that nightmare again!
"You wouldn't have had to protect me if you left me alone! Or if you asked me to go away with you and explained things to me! Or if you let me explain things to you!" Duo shouted back, "But you grabbed me and worried my family. You hurt Heero and you didn't let me go when I wanted to leave you. You've been fucking me like I was a whore that couldn't say no."
"Atryat... Duo," Rashid began. It hurt because it was the truth. He had treated his gift badly, but maybe something could be salvaged from this?
"If you tell me that you enjoyed it while I was crying... shit... Quatre treated me better. He was honest about it. I was just something for him to stick his dick in. I wasn't supposed to enjoy it. I made myself enjoy it with him. You... you were nice to me and... and... " Duo began to shake, trying not to cry, not to give into the tears that threatened. Shit he was acting like a girl, so then he should be treated like one.
"I never wanted to hurt you," Rashid said softly.
The Quatre comment hurt because it was accurate, he was acting like his former ally. That wasn't a good thing, because the Winner heir had left a trail of broken bodies behind him. He had tried to control Quatre's inclinations of sadism with innocent bystanders, but he wasn't as successful as he could have been. And Duo... Duo was something precious to him, why was he trying to destroy him? How did it get so bad? What had gone wrong? Why couldn't they be honest with each other?
Duo looked up and shook his head, "Then why did you? All you've done since you kidnapped me was hurt me. You took me from my friends, ignored my protests and did weird things to my body without asking me first. You acted like you owned me, that I wasn't good enough to do anything else but have you fuck me. I have feelings, I have a life that you don't know about and didn't bother to find out about, because you just took me from it."
"I was afraid that you would leave me and that I would never see you again. You... you have been the only person that wanted to make love with me. Before you, it was either people that I paid to have sex with me or the people that on orders from someone else I hurt when I raped them. But you enjoyed me. You were playful and I needed that again once I had experienced it. I wanted you again, because you liked me. I would do anything to keep you because of that." Rashid said passionately. #I will not mention your problems or the confusion that we are both feeling. We will solve one problem at a time, even if I caused them both because I had no idea what your boundaries were.#
Duo shuddered. Was that the reason that Rashid had hunted him down after the war, because he was the only person that had been nice to him? That was scary, but he could see it, Rashid didn't seem to be really friendly guy. Trowa had acted a little weird about the fact that he had willingly had sex with the giant. His attitude had been a mixture of awe and horror, because Rashid had freaked him out a little, even with all his experience.
"I haven't been playful lately," Duo said quietly. "And you may have been doing me, but were you enjoying it?"
"No," Rashid said sorrowfully. #The lifeless doll that he was playing with lately was not his Duo.#
"Then let me leave," Duo insisted.
"I can't," Rashid replied, "I... "
"Rashid, he isn't happy," Heero said softly. "Let him go."
"NO!" Rashid shouted.
Duo and Heero winced at the volume of the protest. Rashid took a deep breath and calmed down, "If I swear that you both can leave at the end of the summer, will you stay? I will try to make this up to you, Atryat, because I have treated you shamefully."
"Why should I trust you?" Duo asked harshly.
Rashid's face fell and he reached out to brush Duo's hair off his face. Duo flinched a little, and then leaned into his touch. Heero didn't even think that Duo knew that he had done that. "Because," he said softly, "I was afraid that you would leave me, and I reacted in the worst possible manner since I was afraid of losing you again. Let us try from the beginning again if we can... the first night... that was good, yes?"
Duo shivered at the memory. Their first night had been wonderful, he wouldn't mind having that happen again, "I... I... it was wonderful. Just let me free Heero, please. Then... anything you want."
Rashid laughed, "Anything you want... and I hope that you still will want me."
Duo shook his head sorrowfully, since he still didn't trust Rashid even though he wanted to. They'd start fucking each other and then he would never want to leave him and he'd find out that he was really sick in the head and throw him out, "I... I can't... not right now."
Rashid nodded and tried to coax Duo into trusting him again. "A shower... the three of us? I promise that I will not force either one of you to do something that you are not comfortable with. Just a friendly shower. " He knew that Duo would want to be clean at least, because it had been a while since he had washed. Heero would be happy too. There was also a lot of touching that he could do in the shower that might not be threatening to either one of them if they let him.
Duo grinned involuntarily at the offer. Rashid was trying at least and Duo loved water. "Don't tell me that you have a huge shower here too?"
Rashid smiled down at him, he was glad to hear the life back in his voice, "Big enough for a Gundam if you wanted to wash yours in there."
Rashid leaned over and started to undo the restraints that held Heero to the bed. "I should ask you not to run away, if given the chance. But I think that you will stay because of Duo."
"I'll stay." Heero replied grudgingly. He was not going to leave without Duo. And if Duo wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man... well he would worry about that later. He knew that he could stay with Wufei and Trowa, but he didn't want to intrude of their relationship. The other two pilots were a lot closer then he managed to get to Duo. But that wasn't Duo's fault, it was because neither one of them wanted to open up that much to the other.
"You promise that you will not do to me what you did to Sahib Quatre, Heero?" Rashid asked.
"Don't force him and you should be safe," Duo said flatly.
Rashid looked up from what he was doing and smiled at Duo, "I do like to ask these questions, I did want to straighten things out. I know that I have been treating you badly, it was just... I do not know how to react to some things."
Duo snorted, "Like I tried the first day... I should walk out of here, because you fucked this up big time." #Am I insane to want to try again? To want to include Heero in this madness? He has a chance to be normal, why would he want to be a fuck toy like I want to be? Will Rashid still want me if he finds out how crazy I am? Heero knows all about that part of me at least and he never thought that I was bad or sick because of it. He just didn't want to really do anything with anyone.#
Heero stretched and got out of bed, he felt safer near Duo, weird as that sounded. Rashid said that he wasn't going to hurt them, but he still made him nervous. The man was big all over and he still couldn't understand why Duo would even want that thing near his ass!
"I erred because I was afraid. Why should you stay with me? You have three beautiful men in your life, why would you want me?" Rashid asked bleakly.
Duo looked up at him and frowned, "None of them ever made me feel the way that you do. But... I need something more then sex now with you. I learned that with Heero."
"Did you ever let them try?" Rashid asked curiously. From what Duo and Heero had been telling him earlier, they could have that kind of relationship, if they let themselves have it. Was Duo still punishing himself for enjoying himself when he was his captive? Could Heero learn to treat Duo the way that he wanted, no needed to be treated by his lover? He didn't know if he could. Heero might, but he doubted it. Not if he hadn't tried something when they were with the others.
Duo blushed, "I... I don't know. I think that I didn't want them to... find out... that... ." #I should never tell people that I want to like me that I am a sick skank that likes to be hurt. I know that everyone isn't as accepting about such things as Heero is. G was really into the S & M scene and it freaked him out. I don't want to tell you because I don't think that you even know that such people exist outside Quatre and he wasn't a poster boy for the genre. He never understood about the consent thing. #
Heero leaned over to give Duo a hug, "I know that I was afraid to... afraid that I was going to hurt you. It... I can't understand this still. How someone could make you melt like that." #I should have tried and maybe Rashid wouldn't have taken you. Or he might of anyway, he wants you so badly it isn't funny.#
Duo looked wistful, "You should have seen me and G at times. Melt didn't cover it."
"You and that cold man!" Rashid exclaimed in astonishment. #I knew that you could love anyone, but that one looked so cruel, so callous when I saw him, how did you manage to melt his heart?#
Duo laughed, "He looked mean, but he had gentlest way about him, and he was always very cuddly afterwards. A bit of a kink too... he taught me to shoot with a vibrator up my ass."
Heero and Rashid stared at Duo in disbelief. Duo laughed at them and shook his head. "He knew that I liked sex, and he might have thought that that was some sort of weird training technique. If I could shoot straight with that thing going full bore, I got a reward. The reward was him fucking me hard and fast on the shooting range. That made me perfect my marksmanship. Sex worked for a lot of things that he was teaching me and it was very nice carrot to make me study and learn everything that he was teaching me. A better one was when either Howard or him or both of them tied me down and used me because I did a good job."
Rashid made a small, strangled noise. Those idiots let Duo run away to a battle after tasting the delights of his body! They were insane to do that. They should have kept Duo chained to their bed and trained some worthless boy to fight. Or were they the reason that Duo was like this? His choice of words was interesting... used. He trusted those two to take care of him and enjoy his body. Duo just needed to trust him again so that he would enjoy the things that he wanted him to do to his body. He just needed to find out where it stopped being good for Duo and abuse. This last week had been abuse and he knew that he should let Duo and Heero go, but he couldn't because Duo would never return to him, thinking that what he needed from him was wrong and it would disgust him. All it did was confuse him.
Duo's eyes got misty and he said softly, lost in his memories. "He worried about me, about the fact that I had certain reactions to things. Like me reactions to him and Howard during sex. Sex was the biggest problem for us for a while, when he started training me to be a pilot. I... I ... the first night that he three of were together, I told him that sex was a bonus and not the main objective for me while I was living with Howard, that I wanted to learn to be a useful person. I lied though, what I wanted was for them to fuck me hard and often. I was there for the sex, and piloting was the bonus. I got very good at that so they'd do me and do anything with me. I wanted to be their little fuck toy more then anything because I loved them and I trusted them."
Rashid shook his head, since he could not believe that his little gift could make love with that evil man. No matter if he phrased it with crude words, the love had been there between the three of them. While Duo was beautiful and could have his pick of bed partners, but he didn't go for someone that looked good, Heero aside, but for a man that he could trust. He was a fool to think that Duo would leave him for the pretty men that he lived with. Duo had trusted him enough in the beginning to let him tie him up and use him. Take him any way that Rashid wanted him and quivered under his touch, lost to in the passion that he had created in his atryat He had ruined that trust because of his stupidity, but he might be able to fix what he had almost broken. He just had to keep his head long enough to find out how to fix this problem. One touch from Duo and he lost all sense, which is how he ruined things in the beginning.
Duo looked up at Heero and Rashid and smiled faintly. "I should say that we were making love, but that doesn't cover the raw passion that was our sexual relationship. We played hard with each other for a couple of years because we didn't know if I would survive the war. I always thought that he would, that I'd be used by the both of them forever, even after... after I was with you. I wanted that with them, even though I knew it was bad. Even though I thought that my time here with you before was heavenly because you did things to me that I wanted and needed, I couldn't stay with you. There were too many people that needed me to be sane and their needs outweighed my own. That's why I left you the first time."
"Let us wash up and eat," Rashid said gently, he didn't want Duo upset with remembering the good times that he had had with a dead man, since he had died before Duo could save him. Duo still wasn't ready to admit that he wanted that with him also, to be his pet and he didn't know how Heero would react to all this. Rashid wanted to talk to Heero alone before any of them made any decisions. He just knew that it wasn't wrong for Duo to want the security of being taken care of by him or Heero, that if he needed that to be happy, then he should admit it to them. "Then we can discuss what the summer will be like for us. Things that might keep you occupied besides me. Projects that could keep the both of you happy and occupied, because I know that the both of you would be good working for Winner Industries, if you don't mind working for them. If that isn't too your taste, I can try and find something freelance for you. As Heero reminded me, you are people with a lot of intelligence and talent."
Duo smiled and hugged Rashid, "Thank you."
Rashid shook his head, "Thank Heero. He was the one that showed me how stupid I had been."
Duo hugged Heero and was happy that he hugged him back. Heero glared at Rashid for a second before softening his gaze, he understood a little the passion that drove the man, because he wanted Duo all to himself too. "No tricks. And just because we leave doesn't mean that we won't come back," Heero pointed out softly.
He could share Duo with this man. It also might take a while, but he thought he might be able to trust the older man. Unlike the other Manganacs, Rashid had never been abusive, except for taking part in the first rape. That might have been because Duo had captured his interest or he really did not have a taste for rape, aside his past orders from other people to do it. He had also came around once in a while when he was in that place to check to see if he was still alive and stop the Manganacs from hurting him too badly Their escape could have been more difficult for the both of them and Rashid had managed to protect Duo from Quatre at least. He could have chased after the two of them when he killed Quatre, but he hadn't, he had left Duo alone to fight the fight that he needed to. He had protected them both from any vengeance that Jade Winner might have wanted to inflict upon them. Heero didn't know why he should trust Rashid after his stupidity with Duo right now, but he wouldn't be worrying about this now if Rashid hadn't let them alone in the past.
"I understand now," Rashid murmured leading the way into the bathroom so that they could clean up and plan their future.
He knew that Duo would come back to him only so long as he could trust him. He would work hard to regain the trust that he had lost with his foolishness. Heero was just an unexpected benefit, because he knew that the other pilot would stay with Duo no matter where he went or what he did, since he was that much in love with his little atryat. If he had to share Duo, he would. Heero obviously had made the same decision, because he had followed Duo here. There was also nothing that prevented him from enjoying Heero if he was willing to share Duo with him. The three of them would be happy together, once all the rules had been figured out.
"I have to call Wufei and Trowa to tell them that I found Duo and that we will be staying with you for a while. We have to get in touch with Howard too," Heero said.
Duo looked guilty and Rashid looked embarrassed. "I didn't realize that you'd bring Howard into this," Duo muttered.
Heero sighed and hugged Duo. "We thought that you might have gone to him to get your head together, that something might have happened and you needed to talk to him" #I thought that you might have gone to him to see if he was able to take you back and take care of us, give you that you needed more then a degree... ownership of your soul. I knew that we weren't doing well and you might have gone to see if Howard was ready to deal with us. If he could give you what you needed with him. That he'd let you be his bitch again.#
Duo shook his head. "I'd talk to you about that before I want to him. I know that you don't react well to change and that you weren't ready to live with Howard and the Sweepers, either group of them."
Heero flushed, "I didn't think that you'd walk out on me without a word, but we decided to check with him because he'd also want to know if something had happened to you."
Rashid was silent, because he knew that he had caused all these problems with the inept way that he had tried to get in touch with Duo. He just showed the two of them where the phone that was in his desk and stepped out of the room to give the two of them some privacy to talk. He would see about dinner for all of them after all the phone calls were made.
Heero was glad that there was no video on the phone, both of them were naked and he didn't want to give anyone a show. He wondered if he could talk Rashid into giving them their clothes back.
Duo smiled at him. "You don't have to stay." #You aren't a sick person like I am.#
Heero shook his head, "I want to. I missed you." Seeing you in a dog collar was a turn on that I didn't expect... made me think of all sorts of things that I wanted to do to you, but were afraid to ask you about. Shit that you still want them is one of the main reasons that I want to stay.# "And I sort of trust Rashid. Just think of me as your go between so you won't fuck this up."
"You don't think that I'm stupid for wanting to try again?" Duo asked uncertainly. #But what do you want from this?#
He wanted Heero's approval for this, Heero was a very important person in his life because he loved him so much and he wanted him to be happy, even if it was being in the nuthouse with him. He knew that the other pilot was as confused about certain things like he was, but it wasn't with the sexual domination that he needed. Heero wanted someone to give him orders and to have some sort of structure in his life, because of all the fucking around that J had done with his psyche when he was a kid.
"Duo... we aren't normal... so why have a normal relationship? If the two of you are happy, then who cares about the rest of the world?" Heero said, trying to ignore the little voice in his head that was chanting 'I want you, I want you. Don't leave me.'
"Then... then would you stay with me and Rashid?" Duo asked him, trying not to just grab him and scream at him to stay, to try and like Rashid. He wasn't stupid. He knew that Rashid scared Heero, because he was one of the boogiemen that ran around on his nightmares that Duo had to comfort him about when he woke up screaming from them.
"I... I don't know, I should talk to him, he might not want me around."
Duo snarled, "Then I'm walking. I shouldn't have to choose between the two of you, but I will." #I don't want to but you need me more and I think that you know how fucked up I can be.#
Heero shook his head, "Why don't we wait on that. A lot of things just went down and the both of you need to step back and figure things out. Why don't we take one day at a time and see what happens. Rashid... Rashid's trying to figure things out now, that should count for something and he knows that he did something wrong."
Duo sighed. "We should get in touch with Wufei and Trowa. Did you tell them that you were leaving or did you just disappear too?"
Heero flushed, "I left them a note. I didn't want them to stop me, but I also didn't want them to worry."
"You know that Wufei's gonna snarl at us," Duo told him.
"Trowa isn't going to be too happy either," Heero admitted. "He was really upset that you weren't with Howard."
"Howard's gonna be pissed too, but for different reasons," Duo said. "He's gonna be mad about the mind fucking that's been happening. He's probably gonna be a bit less stressed about Rashid taking us in for the summer."
Heero nodded, "Howard is a bit more understanding about this... need of yours. He... he loves you Duo, you know that."
Duo smiled, "Shit. I do. But Howard isn't able to be the heavy that I need in my life. Rashid... I don't think that he realizes what he's getting into."
Heero shook his head, "Duo... the guy looks at you like you're the only thing that matters. He's just confused about what he has to do. He's needs you tell him his boundaries."
Duo looked frightened at that. "If I tell him the truth, he won't like me any more."
Heero shook his head. So that was part of the problem. Rashid never asked Duo what he needed, but Duo never talked to Rashid about how far the guy could go. Heero knew that, a little from what Howard had told him and from things that he pierced together over the years. Now his problem was should he tell Rashid about what he needed to do? "I think that we should take this one step at a time. We call Wufei and Trowa to tell them that we are safe and that we are spending the summer with Rashid. Then we call Howard to tell him that you're found and safe. After that we worry about Rashid."
Duo sighed. "Wufei... shit. He... I don't care what he told me before, he's not going to like this."
Heero shrugged, "Its better then trying to live on our own or with them. Face it Duo, how happy were you at college? Living there and... " He couldn't finish what he wanted to say. He was afraid to ask Duo if he wanted to be, in his own words, 'normal' Normal with Duo had never turned him on like finding him in that dog collar and being chained to the bed had. Normal with Duo was sweet, but that Duo was not the one that he had fought with during the war when Duo let his wildness show once in a while. Never off the battlefield though and after that disastrous rescue, never in what could be even thought of as a sexual situation. Normal for Duo was killing him in his opinion. If Rashid hadn't been so clueless about things, he might thank the guy for kidnapping Duo.
Duo shrugged too, "I liked it there... with you all. It was like the family I never had. Dishes, chores and love. I never got that kind of normal, settled life before. G and Howard, the family stuff was the furthest thing from their mind. They couldn't really... they were doing me and training me to kill people. Nothing warm and fuzzy or family like about that. I couldn't say that they didn't love me, but it wasn't normal. Fucking a thirteen year old wouldn't be normal, even without the S&M stuff."
Heero smiled, "Wufei was the only one of us that could claim that really."
Duo smiled, "As much fun as this is, talking about its not going to get us out of calling them and getting yelled at."
Heero protested, "Wufei won't yell."
Duo grinned at him, "Uh-huh. He will. He thinks that just because we were cuddle partners sometime in the past that he's got this right to yell at us. What part of Alpha Male don't you understand?"
Heero thought about it for a second. Wufei did act awfully overbearing at times. He thought that it was because he had been in charge of all of them. He now realized it was because that Wufei was like that and that was the reason that he was in charge.
Duo laughed, "You figured it out."
Heero shrugged, "It was... good for me. I needed that from him. I really am not comfortable making decisions."
Duo stopped laughing. "You are. You decided that I was worth checking on. I don't think that it was a bad thing to do that."
Heero looked shocked. Of course he would check on Duo. Duo was his partner and his teddy bear. He couldn't survive without him. He would always take care of Duo, not because he had to, but because that was what the two of them did. They watched out for each other.
"I'll call Wufei," Heero offered. He started dialing the number, glad that Rashid was being reasonable about things. If he hadn't been, there was that envelope that he had left with Wufei that would lead the police right here if he hadn't returned in a week. He wasn't that suicidal that he wouldn't tell the authorities where to find them if something went wrong with his plan. As the telephone rang, he reached over and grabbed Duo's hand. Duo looked like he needed that from him. Wufei shouldn't yell at Duo because he was kidnapped and he's tell him that if he started to do it.
"Chang speaking," Wufei answered the phone.
"I found him," Heero answered. "We're safe, but we're not going home for a little while."
"Heero?" Trowa asked on another phone.
"I'm fine. Duo's fine. We're where the note I left said that we'd be."
"You aren't in any trouble?" Wufei asked sharply. "You are not speaking under duress?"
"Hi Wufei," Duo said in a subdued tone of voice.
"Are you all right?" Trowa asked. "You just disappeared, we were worried. Then when Heero took off... "
"Rashid... Rashid thought that we should get reacquainted," Duo started to say.
"He's not dead?" Trowa asked.
"Um... I think that I sorta failed doing that... " Duo told him, embarrassed about it. "He... I didn't check. I was a bit worried about getting out of there... "
"I think that we can argue about that later," Heero said firmly. "Duo and I decided that spending the summer with him isn't... isn't bad."
"Duo and you?" Wufei asked gently. Rashid was not one of Heero's favorite people. He must be desperate to stay with Duo if he was willing to stay with that man.
"Well... things got a little weird... it's not Rashid's fault... mostly, but Heero... " Duo stuttered, trying to get some sort of explanation out.
"Rashid thought that the two of us would be happier here together with him," Heero said knowing that if Duo explained to Wufei what really happened, he would come here and drag them home, whether they wanted to go or not.
"And you agreed to this?" Trowa asked in astonishment.
"I think that... that it might be good for the both of us," Heero told them.
"You are not under any sort of threat"?" Wufei repeated.
"NO!" Duo exclaimed. Wufei was right to keep asking that, but he was getting tired of the question.
"I think that this might be a good thing and the two of you don't have to worry about us," Heero told Wufei.
"Put Rashid on the phone," Wufei told Heero. Of course he would worry about the two of them!
"I'd have to get him... " Heero told him.
"Do so," Wufei ordered him. "While I talk to Duo."
Heero went into the other room and was relieved to see that Rashid was still there. He wasn't going to look for the man in this maze if he was naked. "Umm... " Heero started. "Wufei wants to talk to you." He felt really odd telling the older man that Wufei wanted him.
They walked into the other room to hear Duo promising the other two, "I will take care of myself. I am planning to be back for the Fall semester. I know that I can leave at any time...I will take care of Heero." Duo looked up and handed the phone to Rashid. Rashid took it from him, slightly confused about what Wufei wanted to talk to him about.
"Kuruma," he said
"If you do anything to hurt them or make them unhappy," Wufei told him calmly, "then I will carve your manhood from your body and I will feed it to you. Do you understand?"
Rashid understood. The slight man on the other end of the line kept his promises. His duals with Kushrenada, which had been a matter of honor for the both of them were legendary. Chang Wufei would feed him his jewels if he thought that he had made Duo and Heero unhappy for any reason. Chang protected his own and these two men were his family. He was lucky that Chang was not here now making sure that Heero and Duo were not being held against their will.
"I hope that what you spoke of never comes to pass. They are free to leave me if they so desire. I will endeavor to provide for their every comfort and happiness," Rashid promised him.
"Do so," Wufei instructed him curtly and hung up the phone.
Rashid smiled. Chang was a man without fear if he was threatening him. "You... "
Duo nodded. "We heard. He sleeps with his damned sword practically. I don't know why Trowa puts up with it."
Heero smiled, "That went better then I thought. We're going to have to check in regularly you know."
Duo sighed, "I should call Howard. He's gonna be upset that things got this out of hand."
"I... " Rashid started.
"Shit, I when I first saw Heero I shot him," Duo told him with a smile. "There are good times and bad times with people. This was a bad time. We're gonna get past this and have the good times again, so don't you worry about this. Just don't make this mistake again."
"Howard is also knows that I'm a bit... odd... about things. He just can't deal with me. It doesn't mean that he stopped loving me. He was happy that I was going to college and living with the guys."
"Part of that was me," Heero said quietly. "I was so scared to be with large groups of men. I thought that since I wasn't needed any more that they would... I didn't want to be around people and I was so lost, I guess because there was no one to give me orders anymore."
Duo sighed, "I... I know that you need structure and something to do. You are a goal-oriented type of guy."
Heero sighed, "That was the way that I was programmed to be. I think that J wanted to make sure that I was never able to function on my own." #I can't actually. Even without the abuse that I had suffered the hands of Quatre I would still need some sort of structure in my life. That only made it worse.#
"We still have to call Howard," Duo said quietly. "It will still be easier ten Wufei, but I feel... odd about telling him what happened."
"He'll be happy that you're safe more then anything else," Heero reassured him as he started to dial the number. "He was worried when you disappeared."
Howard answered the vidphone, sounding tense and relaxed when he heard that it was Duo.
"Hi Howard," Duo said softly.
"You okay kid?" he asked Duo.
"Me and Heero are with Rashid and we are going to stay for a while. Rashid... he sort of nabbed me," Duo explained in a rush.
"Heero mentioned that might have happened when he called me. He treatin' you all right?" Howard asked.
Duo blushed, "Um... he... he needs to figure things out. He... I... you know how I am. He doesn't. I think that's the only reason that Heero is stayin'."
"I think that Rashid would be good for the both of us," Heero explained to Duo. "I... I also don't want to leave you here alone."
"Put Rashid on the line," Howard ordered them. Both of his boys sounded bad and he knew that something had fucked up if Duo had dropped off the face of the planet. Duo would have told them where he was going even if he didn't mention with who.
Heero ran to get Rashid again as Duo tried to patch things up with Howard. The man sounded angry and he knew that it was partly his fault. "I... he does things to me that you guys used to."
"Duo, if he is the one that you need to take care of you, I understand," Howard told him gently. "He just needs to know some things. I'm not angry, but I am worried. Too many people out there that you can't trust and he hurt you in the past."
"I know and I know that I am being stupid to want this, but... shit I haven't felt this alive in ages," Duo whispered.
He didn't say anything else as Rashid walked into the room. He knew that Duo's old lover would want to speak to him, he just felt uncomfortable that it was happening. It didn't make him feel any better to see Duo and Heero slip out of the room to give him some privacy.
"Rashid," Howard started. "Talk to Duo. He might not be comfortable about springing some of this stuff on you, but that was my fault. I lost it when I realized that Duo was into pain as much as he was. Not often, but sometimes he needs it. He needs a couple of other odd things too, but it's worth it. He just doesn't always like talking about this stuff. He, something happened when he was younger and I don't know if me and G made it worse or what. Just talk to him if you can."
"I know... I think that I may have done something wrong already." Rashid told him.
"He still wants to stay, so you didn't ruin it. Just... don't let him feel that what he needs from you is wrong. It may be a bit strange and most people don't like stuff like that, but it works for him," Howard explained. "It was worse towards the end of the war, so he might have been doing some of it because he needed to blow off steam. Just you all have to figure out what you need. That includes Heero and you. If Duo wants something that you aren't comfortable with, then tell him. He can adjust better then we all will give him credit for. Also Heero isn't too comfortable about certain things, but so long as he isn't threatened, he's harmless."
"I understand," Rashid to told him quietly. "You have been more understanding about their choice then Chang has been."
"Wufei is the poster child for Vanilla," Howard told him with a grin. "Nice guy underneath the bluster and very protective of his family. Don't be surprised if he shows up in a week to check to see if things are working out, but Trowa might be able to talk him out of that. I pity any kids that he has."
"I will look forward to his visit then," Rashid told him. If Change stayed with Trowa, that would not be a problem. "My home is also open to you if you desire to check on how I am treating Heero and Duo."
"I might take you up on that," Howard told him. "Also... shit this does sound odd, even to me. Call me if you need help with Duo. Anything that you feel odd about and don't want to ask Duo if it's okay, call me. I may not play around anymore, but... "
"Heero also recommended that," Rashid told him, feeling awkward about the offer. Talking to Duo's former lover about such things would be embarrassing. But if it avoided the trouble that he just had he would do so.
"Heero's got the good sense now to ask for help when he needs it," Howard told him. "If you don't want to call, let him. Just don't think that because Duo is a masochist that you can abuse him. He controls the pain that he gets, not you. You just got to figure that out."
"I... I," Rashid started, uncomfortable about what Howard was telling him. That had been the mistake that almost ruined his atryat was that he tied him up without asking him first, something that he should have never done. That had been something that he hadn't even done when Duo was his prisoner and so he had every right to be angry with him about it.
"Rashid... you do anything that I don't approve of and you will not believe the shit that I will call down on you," Howard told him. "Duo's a good kid. Heero... I'd have both of them here with me if I thought that it would work out. Don't be stupid. Don't ever forget what you have."
"I will take care of them both Howard, my word on it," Rashid told him. "I understand that neither one of them is as harmless as they look."
"Remember that and you will get to live to a ripe old age with them," Howard told him before hanging up.
Heero waited until he knew that Duo was asleep and slipped out of the bed. He really didn't want to be alone with Rashid, but they did have to talk about this stupid situation. He figured out that Rashid wanted Duo and that he would do almost anything to keep him, even if it meant putting up with him. Heero knew that wasn't the most lovable person in the universe and he was surprised the Duo stayed with him after the war was over, since they didn't have to look after each other anymore. They had touched upon the subject only once, right after the war when they discussed Howard's offer for the two of them to stay with him. He had been willing to do anything that Duo wanted to, because he had felt so lost after peace broke out. Duo had been willing to go back to Howard but at the time the older man had been too broken up at the death of his longtime lover to even think about Duo and Heero and the care that they had needed from him. So they moved in with Wufei and Trowa, trying to fool everyone and show them that they were both still sane, even though the four of them all knew that it was a lie. Heero thought that they would eventually move in with Howard once Duo got his degree and proved to himself that he wasn't just a whore that got out of L2. He actually didn't care, he would be happy anywhere with Duo and he had been getting better about his fears of crowds and men.
Rashid looked up when Heero slipped out of the room and walked over to where he was sitting. "Duo's asleep," Heero said softly. "He's tired, and all the drugs are still messing things up for him."
Rashid flushed, "I am sorry about that... "
Heero shook his head, "That's not what I want to talk to you about." He swallowed and hoped that he didn't freak because Rashid was scaring the crap out of him. He was lolling on a bunch of pillows that had been thrown in the corner of the room. Aside from that huge bed in the other room and a desk that was in the corner of this room, there wasn't much furniture in Rashid's apartment. Heero figured if nothing really was built for someone your size, it must be uncomfortable to sit in furniture that you had to perch on. A naked, sprawled Rashid was threatening sight for him, even if the man had paid more attention to Duo earlier, teasing him in the shower and then at dinner. Duo had fallen asleep after that, laughingly telling Rashid that it wasn't his fault for once. Heero sat down tailor style just out of reach of Rashid, unaware of the enticing picture that he made.
Rashid stared at Heero. He was beautiful. He didn't have Duo's delicate frame, given that he was built like one of those Italian Renaissance statues. His body had been sculpted from his toes to his head by his training and covered with compact muscles, still without an ounce of fat after a year of peace. The faded scars and burns showed that he could be hurt and they added to his beauty in an odd way. The only flaw on that perfect physic was his cock, because it was lumpy and thick and looked like it belonged on someone else's body. Rashid restrained his impulse to throw Heero on his back and explore every inch of that body, taste him like he wanted to and to make him scream with ecstasy. He knew that if he wanted the other man as his he would have to go slowly.
"Duo's really screwed in the head," Heero said bluntly. "Almost as screwed as I am. We're both nutcases."
Rashid chuckled, glad that Heero was willing to talk with him and be honest about what he thought the problem was. "If that warning is so that I won't want to keep you both, it won't work. I find you attractive and would like to see if you could enjoy me also. I understand though if you don't want me to touch you, I did notice that you tried to keep Duo between the two of us." #I want to though, to see if I can make you loose yourself like I can Duo. See that passion that I know you have buried someplace.#
Heero shrugged, "Duo... he likes you. #loves you, actually # Hell he has one of your shirts that he carried with him throughout the war. He has it hidden in a drawer a home and he doesn't think that I know about it."
Rashid sighed. Duo had been hurt by what had happened to him, what he had to do to escape with Heero. When he had to leave what he wanted because he had become his enemy because of Quatre. "I am touched. I thought about him often. I still have the outfit that we captured him in."
"Duo, he won't give into what he wants though," Heero continued. "Howard told me a lot over the years, since I asked him for a lot of advice about Duo when we were fighting together. He loves him and would let us be with him if we wanted to. He just couldn't cope with our problems and his own after G's death, but he never stopped being our friend. If it wasn't for Howard, Duo would have never made it this far. It was on his ship that Duo snuck off the colony he was living on at the time. Duo was serious about wanting to be their play toy after the war. Some of the things that Howard told me... "
Rashid leaned forward, interested on hearing about Duo when he was younger. "I would like to know how I can make it up to him, I have treated him shamefully. I know the mistakes that I made and I will not do it again."
Heero shook his head, "Yes and no. Duo needs something to do besides having sex with you around here, since he needs to do something useful that will show you that he has a brain. Somehow, G and Howard managed to strike a balance back then for him. Howard mentioned that Duo was a good name for him because there were two people living in that body, the sexy little toy and the cold-blooded terrorist and they loved him no matter what. Both knew personalities their places in his life, just being with you that time blurred things a little for him. Now, he's all control and he doesn't want to let go with me or anyone else. I saw him with you... and I thought that he was so beautiful, begging for you to fuck him. Making love to you the way that he did... I want to see him like that again, hear him scream like that... see that look on his face."
"The first night was like that," Rashid said, hardening at the thought of being in Duo. "I slept in him because I didn't want to leave him, because to stop touching him after all that time apart pained me. I had missed him, missed his playfulness more then anything. The trouble started after that night... I did things to him while he was asleep and then moved him to this location. I wanted no one to find him and take him away from me." #I never told him my plans for us, I just saw him in my bed and made love to him because I couldn't think when I saw him like that. It just got worse from there.#
"I couldn't give him what he wanted or needed, I was afraid to. Duo's a hard core kink at times and I don't know my limits, never mind his," Heero explained, trying not to become upset at the sight of Rashid becoming erect. It both frightened him and turned him on. He knew that he was going to be with Duo as long as he wanted to stay with Rashid, and that it was likely that he would eventually end up with the man and he wanted that a little even if it frightened him. To have someone make love to him like that, to see if it was as good as the experience had looked when he watched Rashid and Duo make love. He had never faulted Duo for his need to be taken care of, because he had the same need himself. Would Rashid take him in as well as Duo? Did he want that from him?
Rashid smiled at Heero, trying to reassure him. "What else did you learn from Howard?"
Heero shrugged, "Duo... 'control issues' was one of the things that he mentioned. That Duo played hard and liked it when they played rough, loving anything that happened with them because he trusted them. Duo told you that though."
Rashid sighed, "I knew that, that he likes being controlled and he likes pain, I saw that when he was my... guest... before. He likes being tied down and taken, borderline with being raped at times. I... I couldn't understand what went wrong when I did that with him, after I wouldn't let him go. He enjoyed it before. Even when... when I didn't want to hurt him, I did. Believe it or not, I don't enjoy inflicting pain on people, even if they want me to. Duo, he wanted me to hurt him a lot before he escaped with you. I think that he wanted me to get disgusted and reject him. I didn't though, because if he wanted pain from me, it was a small price to pay for his company. He was never afraid of me."
Heero looked away, uncomfortable about thinking about what had been happening then. He needed to concentrate on making sure that Duo and Rashid fixed this screw up and were together again. He had to explain to Rashid exactly how fine a line it was with Duo about things, how scared he was that Rashid would reject him because he liked pain and being owned. Things that he had fled from that colony so that it wouldn't happen to him and he wanted them anyways. The big difference was the Duo would choose his owner, something that wouldn't have happened on his childhood colony. He would have been dead in a year or so if he hadn't left because the Feds had cracked down on the street gangs and the orphans. Most of them had been lost in the system, scattered all over the colonies in what had been listed in the records as 'recreation centers', just a fancy designation for whore house.
"You made the choice for him, that's what went wrong... and because, like you, he wants this too much. He got off a colony that he was a non-person on and where he could have ended up in a Feddie whorehouse, only because he slipped onto Howard's ship and got out of there, the Feds didn't get him. He snuck into Howard's cabin and thought that he was trading his body for the ride that he was hitching. Rashid, he was about twelve years old, maybe. He was eight when a friend started to fool around with him sexually, who then died on him after about a year. His friend had been one of the older guys in the gang that they were with, and he had been someone that had watched out for him. He may not really think that he's a whore, but sex was a large part in his life for years and it got him protection and got him places, places that he might never have gotten if he wasn't sleeping with Howard and G. He wants to be more then a piece of ass for you; he wants you to realize that he has a brain and that he makes the rules. Once he knows that, he will be fine."
"I... we never talked about this," Rashid told him. "All I knew was that he wanted to leave me again and that he was worried about you. I... I thought that you are... were, a threat to our relationship."
"Talk, the two of you got to stop fucking each other and talk," Heero said in frustration. He was amazed that Rashid was worried that he was a threat to his relationship with Duo. "Duo... Duo he talked to you in his sleep once, he was really sick and he didn't know where he was. Then... I heard a lot about what he did when he was younger, about his first lover, who was a kid named Solo and what he did with those two when they were building DeathScythe. I stayed up to take care of him because I didn't want the others to know about what he was babbling, because they would have never let him out alone again if they heard him. Duo is really screwed and he does need help, but you know that don't you?"
Rashid laughed, "Duo enjoyed Quatre's trying to fuck him, so I know that my little ifrit was touched then. Jade couldn't even do that from what she has told me, she was faking it with him the entire time and he was too self involved to notice."
Heero choked on that unexpected tidbit of information and then just stared at Rashid, "She told you what?"
Rashid shrugged, "Jade treats me as if I was her brother, because she knows that I am not interested in her as a woman and I am willing to give her good advice because she is a strong leader. But that is neither here nor there. Duo is a rare treasure that will cherish for the rest of my life because he is strong, strong enough to let me own him. I just have to convince him that I know that he submits to me because he wants to, not for any other reason. I never thought that he was a whore or weak. I think that something happened to him to make him the way that he is, but I don't think that it is his fault and I do not want him to change. I will give him what he needs." #I don't know if I can hurt him the way he needs to be hurt though.#
Heero nodded, "Talking... you were too busy fucking to talk. I'll talk to him when he wakes up again and then you two definitely have to talk. No touching though, since that seems to screw up anything that you are trying to talk about. You have to tell him this, because he can't read your mind and he feels guilty that he enjoyed you turning him into a pet, even though that is what he wants with you."
Rashid nodded and then smiled slyly, "And what about you?"
Heero frowned and then shrugged, fighting to keep his body language casual. "I don't know. It's up to Duo."
Rashid reached out and grabbed Heero, embracing him loosely and pulling him against his body. "What do you want? Heero... don't be like Duo and lie to yourself."
Heero squirmed and then relaxed, since Rashid wasn't hurting him. He could escape his loose hold if he needed to, so Rashid really didn't feel that threatened by him. In a weird way it was comforting. "I... "
"Don't lie," Rashid suddenly murmured to him.
Heero could almost see why Duo enjoyed this, Rashid was overpowering, even if he wasn't trying to be. He was slightly taller then Duo now, having grown more then he had since the war, but not by that much and Rashid still could make three of him. The tip of his cock was just touching him and Heero shivered a little as it twitched when it touched his inner thigh and he gave a breathy moan as his body responded to Rashid's nearness, all the blood rushing to his groin and making it difficult for him to think. Heero could see why the two of them had gotten into the mess that they had, thinking wasn't something that he was interested in doing right now. He could barely talk actually.
"I think... I think that I want to know if it can be good, see if I want you to take me like you did Duo... " #This feels so good. I think that this feeling is what Duo's addicted to with him and I don't blame him for that addiction.#
"None of them have showed you that?" Rashid asked curiously. #How could they keep their hands off of you? Duo... I know that he doesn't want that, but the others... #
Heero shook his head, ashamed. "I was afraid... and Duo couldn't do that with me. He wanted me to be in him... Wufei and Trowa... they have something special, something that will last. I don't want to really interfere with them."
"And you couldn't take him, could you?" Rashid asked him, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, "He was tight, so hot and tight that first night... would you be like that? Would you let me find out?"
Heero unconsciously nodded, starting to rock against Rashid, the man's words hardening his cock more and making him ache. He was afraid, but turned on and he didn't know what to do next. He had never felt like this, sex with Duo was something that happened rarely and he never felt like this, wanting to come from a few touches.
"Then later with Duo. Watch me take him... then let him watch me take you. Take you while he holds you... feeling us moving together, bathe him with your seed. Fuck him if you want to... use him... like he wants," Rashid told him, "like he needs... I know that... he knows that... let us show you how much he needs you."
Heero moaned at his words. He was hard and the picture that Rashid had painted made him want to wake Duo up just to do that right now.
"So passionate," Rashid murmured with delight. "So impatient." #No one wanted you? It's because they never saw you like this... so much passion... why did you hide it from Duo? Why did he hide his passion from you?#
"I want more then that... the dog collar... I want... I want to see him in pain, see him get off on that too," Heero told Rashid shyly. He couldn't believe that he just confessed that he wanted to see Duo led around like a dog. That he wanted to hurt his best friend, because Duo was into that.
"You want that... you want to spank my Duo," Rashid teased him. Heero might be what both he and Duo needed. A lover that would let Duo feel all the pain that he couldn't, he had been right in making Heero stay. How long had Heero wanted Duo like that? "How deep inside of you do you want to control someone as much as you need to be controlled? Duo... Duo could show us things that neither one of us imagined... can you use him? Do you want to show me how beautiful he would be bruised and used... well fucked like he wants to be... just our pet... our fuck toy... make him pant for me Heero... "
Heero wrapped his hand around Rashid's shaft and pumped it, liking the moan that Rashid made because he touched him. "We're both so hard," he panted. Thinking about all that they wanted to do with their mutual lover had turned them both on. Shit he could see how they had gotten so screwed up earlier. He just wanted to pound Duo into the mattress right now.
"Lay back and let me taste you... " Rashid asked.
Heero nodded eagerly, "I want to taste you too..."
Rashid nodded. The thrill of wondering whether or not Heero would bite off his jewels made him want to feel the boy's mouth wrapped around his cock. "Lie down on top of me."
Rashid laid back and Heero knelt at his head, gasping when Rashid's tongue licked the tip of his cock, before taking him into his mouth. Heero leaned over and draped himself across his chest, wrapping his mouth around Rashid's tip, licking his way down the shaft a little before settling down to seriously suck him off. He couldn't deep throat it like Duo could, but he wasn't bad at oral sex. He had done this with Duo a lot, trying to make up for the fact that he was afraid to enter him. It had taken a while for him to admit that after what had happened to him while he was Quatre's prisoner, but Duo showed him that it wasn't bad to enjoy sucking cock, either as the one doing it or get it done to him.
Heero moaned around the mouthful that he had as Rashid took him deeper. It was hot and tight and he tried to return the favor, sucking mindlessly until he moaned and came, shooting his load into Rashid's throat. Rashid came too, while enjoying the salty taste of Heero's seed, different from Duo's but alike too. Heero gulped down what he offered him and then licked Rashid clean. He was almost sleepy this felt so good to him and he went to curl up in the pillows and was surprised when Rashid rolled him on his back and kissed him roughly, thrusting his tongue in his mouth. Heero hesitated and then kissed back. Rashid tasted of him and he started to nibble at his lips, teasing Rashid, showing him that he wasn't afraid of him. He knew that was very important to the older man. He wasn't playful like Duo, but he trusted Rashid in some odd way and he wanted Rashid to know that. Talking things out with the older man had made him feel so much better. He had a clear goal right now, making sure that Rashid and Duo learned to trust each other again. After that Duo could teach him what he wanted with them how to enjoy pain with him. It felt wonderful to have something to work towards after drifting for so long.
Rashid broke their kiss and murmured at him, "Thank you. That was wonderful."
Heero smiled up at him, "I liked it. You... you scare me a little still, but you never were mean about anything, even when you... you... the first night... "
Rashid sighed, "I am sorry about that. I admired you even then, because you never let us break you. I saw what you had done to Quatre and I had to make myself not laugh, even though I felt miserable from Duo trying to strangle me. You tricked him and made us think that you were broken and then killed him like you did. That was wonderfully ironic for me. Quatre was taken out by the part that did most of his thinking for him." #The bad part was that Duo had to hurt me to get away, because he knew that I wouldn't let either one of you go, even if it was better for everyone if I did that.#
Heero shuddered at his words, killing Quatre hadn't been the best thing that he had done in his life and was one of the things that still gave him nightmares. Rashid laughed and scooped him up, "To bed with us then, sleep with Duo and cuddle each other and him. I will get breakfast later and we can all talk." #I'm sorry that I reminded you of that piece of waste. I can't call him a shit, because even shit is useful.#
Heero nodded and put his arms around Rashid's neck, "Sleep. I'm tired... I can't sleep really without Duo."
Rashid kissed him gently on the forehead, "I'm sorry. I should have stopped Quatre... "
Heero put his finger to his lips, silencing his apologies, "You made sure that he didn't hurt Duo and that we got away after I killed Quatre." #You did what you could... not as much as you should have, but then I wouldn't want to let Duo go either. I didn't understand that at the time, but then Duo showed me so much of his love, I knew that I would follow him everywhere... including into your bed.#
Rashid kissed his finger and deposited him on the bed, "Duo in the middle? Just to make sure that you do not take advantage of me again."
Heero shook his head at that joke, because Rashid was trying to be nice... more then nice the way that he blew him. He let Heero be on top of him and had trusted him with his teeth near his cock. He could learn to really like the guy, now they just had to straighten out this screw up for Duo.
Duo woke up feeling much better then he had in a while. He sleepily nuzzled Heero's chest and wondered who was sleeping behind him when he realized that it was Rashid. He sat up in alarm, but Heero opened his eyes and smiled. "It's okay. We sort of talked. He promised that he'd calm down about things. We made plans about how to fix things between the two of you."
Duo glanced over at Rashid nervously. They had talked. That was good, since he never managed to do that with Rashid. He didn't know if he should be angry or sad that Rashid was willing to listen to Heero and not him. Maybe because Heero wasn't a skanky whore like he was? That Rashid might admire Heero because he didn't let his cock do his thinking, something that he never managed.
"Duo... atryat we both just want what's best for you," Rashid murmured
What was best for him? He didn't know anymore and if he didn't know, how could they? Rashid hadn't listened to him and now Heero was planning his life for him too, behind his back? When did they both decide that he was too stupid to make his own decisions?
"Duo, Rashid knows that he's been foolish about a lot of things and that he's going to be smarter about this relationship in the future," Heero tried to explain. "I'm sorry that this got so screwed up and we're both going to be trying to fix it."
"Duo, know that I was wrong, but... " Rashid began almost at the same time.
Heero realized that they both were still doing this all wrong, since Duo wasn't looking like he was being reassured by anything that he and Rashid were telling him. He looked really hurt that they didn't talk to him at all about this, that they had made all the decisions without him, even if they really hadn't. They were all still trying to figure out what was going on with boundaries and needs and they were also both screwing this up.
Heero thought that he knew what the problem was, that Duo thought that they thought that he wasn't smart enough for them or sane enough to make his own choices about his life. Heero decided to take a chance, before it all got ruined for Duo, the way that he felt about the both of them. He trusted that Rashid wouldn't argue about anything that he was going to tell Duo and that Howard had been right about some of the things that he had guessed about how screwed up Duo was with sex and playing games and control. He just wanted to be controlled physically and dominated mentally. All this discussion about his choices made him uncertain about things, because he still needed to be ordered around, even if he couldn't admit that. The last year with no one giving him any ort of orders had been hard for Duo and just increased the need that he had, no matter how much Duo had fought it. Heero let his voice get hard and he grabbed Duo's wrists with one hand and pinned them to the bed.
"Rashid's going fuck you now and I'm watching him do you, make you scream for it when he drives his cock up your ass. You're gonna be fucked and sucked until you can't walk. You're leaving this room to only rest your ass and do something productive with the few unfucked brains we're gonna leave you with Duo, if we let you leave. In here, you're gonna howl like a bitch in heat, if you stop sucking us off long enough."
Heero leaned over and roughly kissed Duo, holding his head still with his other hand "Do you understand?" he repeated when he stopped. Rashid looked shocked and pleased at his announcement. Duo just looked stunned until Heero grabbed his cock and squeezed it making him whimper with desire. "Hard as a rock Rashid. He likes this... he told you he wanted to be your fuck toy, so fuck him!"
Rashid smiled, Heero had figure out what the problem was. Duo still wanted someone else to make this decision for him, even though they wanted him to have a say in his future. Duo was too frightened or too uncertain to take what was his heart's desire even though it was being handed to him.
Rashid fumbled for the oil by the side of the bed and drizzled oil info Duo's crack. Duo moaned when the cool liquid hit him and gasped when Rashid gently pushed a thumb into his opening and started to stretch him by wiggling it about. Heero smiled ran a fingernail over one of his nipples, watching him arch away from the touch and into Rashid. Heero continued to play with Duo's chest and stomach, etching patterns into the skin with his nail, leaving a few welts.
Rashid smiled as he watched Heero play with Duo. He stretched Duo carefully, with just a hint of roughness. He hoped that this worked, that Heero knew what he was doing. Duo was responding to his attention rocking on his thumb, whining with pain/pleasure between their attentions and when he added his other thumb. He felt that Duo was stretched enough after a few minutes and nodded at Heero, warning him that he was going to be taking over things with Duo. Heero was watching Duo to see if he was doing the right thing, even while he held him pinned. Rashid would stop if Heero told him to, if things got too odd for Duo or if he fought them, but Heero was just seeing the pure mindless ecstasy in him as the two of them played with his body. This was going to be good for all of them.
Rashid quickly oiled his cock and then moved Duo so that it was just resting between his cheeks.
"Do it!" he growled and was pleased that Duo grasped his cock and started to impale himself slowly on it, sliding his body down over him, groaning with ecstasy. Heero stopped playing with Duo, watching all the expressions that went across his face as he took Rashid deep into his body. He saw pain... giving way to relief and then bliss when Duo was impaled fully on Rashid and waiting for his next order from his lovers.
Duo was stunned to hear Heero tell him that he was going to be fucked by the two of them and he was so turned on he nearly moaned just hearing that order. He couldn't believe that Heero said that to him, told him that he was a toy that was going to be fucked blind by them, that in this room he was just a bitch. His mind was processing all that when he felt Heero grab him and tell Rashid that he was hard and he was to do him, making him whimper even as he tried to think. When had Heero gotten this aggressive? But this was what he wanted, even if he couldn't tell them that and he wouldn't fight the two of them, not with the sneaky way that Heero had pinned him. Rashid was going along with Heero's plan because Duo felt the oil being poured on him and he almost came then. He calmed down a little only to nearly lose it again when Heero started in with his nails, raising welts with them as he played with his chest. It hurt and he loved it! Rashid had him stretched and teased him by not going any further. He was waiting for their next move when he heard Rashid's growled order. This was the last time he could stop this. Not the sex part, but being a toy for the both of them. Duo didn't even think about it, he wanted this, he wanted just to be fucked endlessly by the two of them and he didn't care if he ever left this room. He was going to be used after so long and he wanted that. It was his choice now. Not Heero's. Not Rashid's. He had decided at last to stop lying to himself and admit that all he cared about anymore since Rashid had kidnapped him was being fucked by the man. Heero... Heero being with him was what he wanted too. He wanted both of them and Rashid and Heero were going to let him have them, by treating him as fuck doll.
Duo shifted and impaled himself, watching Heero stare at him, gauging his responses and studying them and him to see if this was what he wanted. He smiled at Heero through the pain of Rashid entering him. It hurt and he had missed this hurt, the feeling of a cock splitting his ass. He wondered what it would be like to have Heero like this, with Rashid being the one that watched them. When his balls rested against Rashid's he smiled and waited.
Heero looked at Duo with awe. He hadn't believed that Duo could take all of Rashid. He knew that he should do or say something when Duo twisted slightly, groaning at the movement and leaned back to try and kiss Rashid. Rashid leaned over for his kiss, brushing his lips against his before rolling his hips and swallowing Duo's choked scream. "Is that the best that you can do?" Rashid asked, moving slowly.
Duo arched and gasped suddenly as Heero's hand tightened on his cock growling, "Fuck 'em Rashid."
Rashid was worried that he had gone too far ordering Duo to mount him. He was relieved to feel Duo kiss him when he was filled it was a wordless thanks for his order. Heero's voice startled him and stopped him teasing Duo. He knew that he was close and Duo must too. He wondered about Heero and then stopped thinking when he pushed Duo forward, onto his hands and knees and started pistoning in him. Duo wailed in surprise and joy at his move and thrust back at him and then stopped when Rashid seized his hips and held him still, bruising him and fucking him roughly, listening to the cries that he made. He would show his lover used! Rashid moved one hand down to pump Duo and was surprised that Heero was doing that, jerking Duo roughly in time to his thrusts. He shouted, that knowledge making him climax and he thrust deeply into Duo and held still, coming in him so hard that he thought that the top of Duo's head was going to shoot off.
Duo screamed with excitement when Rashid shoved him on his hands and knees, then started fucking him, trapping Heero below the two of them. It was rough and he couldn't move, trapped between Rashid and Heero. Heero started jerking him hard and fast, painfully wonderful and nearly creamed all over the two of them when he realized that Heero wasn't being as rough with his own cock as he was with his, that Heero might like giving him pain. If he did... he knew that he could ask for things from Heero that he couldn't from Rashid. God he never knew that Heero wanted to hurt him in a good way. Rashid gave one last heave into Duo and was still, spending his essence into him. Duo came after that, Heero coming almost at the same time, the two of creaming all over each other.
Duo sagged, tingling all over. It had been hard and fast and he just wanted more of the same. Rashid withdrew gently, saddened at Duo's sigh when he did so. He wanted to stay, but he knew that too much too soon would ruin it for Duo, because they still had to be careful about how rough they were with him. He rolled on his back and was pleased that Duo curled up on one side of him, while Heero draped his body over the other half of him.
"Duo," Rashid rumbled, "this is just a rest."
Duo laughed happily. "I hope so. You promised to fuck my brains out."
Heero looked up and blinked, snuggling closer to Rashid before mumbling, "You okay with this?" #Do you want this? I know how scary it is to make your own choices, so I understand why you want to be owned and used, no responsibilities anymore then. I want it too, just not with sex. Both of us... something bad happened during our life to us to make us this way. I know that Doctor J did it to me deliberately, but what happened to you that broke you? Was it something that those two did to you by accident or something that had happened earlier to you? #
Duo smiled, "I was mad at first, but now I don't care. Fuck me all summer... for the rest of my life. I don't care if I leave this place... leave this room. You were right not to include me in your discussion, because I'd never have told you the truth... I need to be a pet to both of you, your little fuck toy." #I finally said it. I can't believe that it was that easy to say and so wonderful to finally be honest with myself. I need someone else to order me about. I think that Rashid might be able to do that with a little help. He certainly has the control part down, just not how much until now. I just have to show Heero about the pain... how much he can give me... I want it still and I want I more now that I know that he can give it to me now.#
Rashid looked down at Duo and frowned, "Duo... I never told you this and I hope that this doesn't disturb you... but I have always thought of you as my wife, my zauja. It was so hard to wait for you to come back to me, to tell me that you loved me. I decide that I couldn't wait any longer and took you. I was shameful to do so, but I didn't know if you'd leave with me. I know... I know that you want things that you think are... wrong. I now know that Heero... Heero can help me give them to you because he has the same wants... "
Duo looked up, alarmed. "I... I never thought of it because I thought that you were dead... I never knew... I was scared." #You can still love me even if I am screwed up enough to want you to 'own' me? Hell I always knew that I was the bitch in this relationship, so I like being called your wife. It makes me feel warm and safe.#
"Scared because I never told you how I felt?" Rashid said wryly, "I never did. I never told you that I thought that you were so strong because you could let me control you, that the trust that I felt that you had with me was wonderful and I never could understand how I deserved it. No one had ever treated me like that. There were so many things that we should have told each other." #Duo, my love, my gift from Allah, you are someone that I couldn't stop loving because you trust me, even when I was bad to you, because I was frightened that you would never let me give you what you needed, that I'd love you even if you wanted something from me that most of the Universe thinks is wrong. It makes you happy, so it can't be wrong.#
Heero slithered over Rashid's body, slippery with sweat and come, to kiss Duo. He looked wonderful, the sheen of sweat that covered him making him irresistible. He looked so happy that Rashid had told him that he never thought that Duo was a weak person that he needed to kiss him. He overbalanced and tumbled into Duo knocking him on his back, landing between his legs. He twitched a little when he realized how he had landed and that kissing Duo in this position was giving his body ideas. He moaned and rubbed against Duo, his cock suddenly achy and hard even if he had just come a couple of minutes ago.
Duo whimpered when Heero kissed him, rubbing against him with his cock hardening between them. He shifted slightly, wanting more of Heero then just a hand or a blow job now, he wanted Heero to fuck him hard and fast. Duo twined his arms around Heero's neck kissing him hungrily; being turned on by the fact that he had an audience in the man that had just claimed his body and his life. Heero's cock slipped off his stomach and in between his legs, the damp tip rubbing against his crack while they kissed. He hissed a little when he felt Heero push against his opening and then suddenly he was in him, entering him in one smooth move since he was still loose from Rashid and slippery with the mixture of oil and the semen that he had emptied into him minutes ago. Heero threw his head back and huffed in surprise and then Duo realized that he wasn't expecting that move either, Rashid had done something to Heero to push his cock into him.
"Take him Heero, he wants you in him and I want to watch you two together," Rashid said roughly. The two them looked delicious together. He wouldn't mind seeing Heero enjoying Duo. He had a feeling that Heero might be interested more in the odd things that Duo enjoyed then be was. That would solve one problem that he had with Duo. He just hoped that Heero knew what he was doing.
Heero didn't say anything, he just started thrusting quickly, marveling at how good Duo felt as he wrapped his legs around his waist. He was hot and tight, slick from any number of things and panting his ear unintelligibly, Duo just making little sounds of pleasure as he was being taken by him. Heero stopped thinking then, he just tried to pump into Duo as hard and fast as he could, the tightness around his cock and knowing that Rashid was watching them making him feel incredible and he came when he felt Duo tighten around him with a wordless keen, covering him again with his semen and racking his back with his nails, arching against him in his climax, his second one seemed just as intense as his first.
Duo wrapped his legs around Heero, to make sure that he didn't pull out of him in some mistaken theory that he was hurting him. It did hurt, Heero was bigger then Duo had realized even with all the time that he had spent with him. He was wonderful filling him though and managed to find his magic spot without much trouble, hitting it with every stroke, reducing him to incoherent cries as he fucked him hard and fast, Rashid's words making him want come then, he had practically ordered the two of them to fuck each other for his entertainment and he didn't know if Heero even understood what Rashid just told him. Duo didn't care, because Heero was doing his best to pound him into next week and after endless moments of pure lust he came with odd shriek, trying to shred his back even as he deafened him.
Rashid had just watched as Heero crawled over him to kiss Duo. He was mildly amused, he had showed the ex-pilot some affection and he lost all fear of him. Or was it that he loved Duo more? He didn't care and enjoyed seeing the two of them kissing in front of him, Duo was addictive and he knew a fellow addict when he saw him. He remembered the conversation that he had had with Heero about their relationship was surprised that they had never become intimate, that Heero had never taken his atryat even if he wanted it. When he saw Heero's cock where it was, he took a chance and pushed Heero, making him take Duo. Hearing the sounds that the two of them made after he did this, he knew that Heero had entered Duo, finally knowing all the delights of his atryat. It wasn't as difficult as he thought to order Heero to make love to Duo, watching the wild show in front of him was mesmerizing and it was over too soon, watching his two possessions making love harden his cock and he stroked himself to relieve the ache, coming almost at the same time that they did, shooting his load on them instead of in them for once. He knew that Heero would be his soon, that the other man was as lost as his Duo in some ways and would welcome being in his care also. While their passion was earthshaking, Rashid was touched by how gentle Duo was with Heero afterwards as the other man lay in his embrace, inside him still.
Duo cuddled Heero, who appeared to be half asleep in his arms, murmuring to him, "I knew that you'd fit." He looked up at Rashid and mouthed, "Thank you."
Heero muttered something at that, not wanting to move. He thought that Rashid had come on him, but he didn't care. He had been a fool not to have Duo like this before and he didn't want to leave him, even if he was too heavy for him.
"You are good together." Rashid said, dragging a cover down from the bed to cover all of them. He wasn't going to even ask them to move, sleeping on the floor wouldn't hurt any of them.
"Mmmm," Duo agreed sleepily. "Like we are."
"Like we are," Rashid repeated, leaning down to kiss them both, Duo started kissing him back with sleepy passion. Heero stirred and started to kiss the both of them, happy just to be there with them it seemed.
Rashid woke up the next morning and smiled. Heero and Duo had shifted during the night and now both of them were wrapped around him. Duo's hair spread all over the place and almost tying the three of them together. He leaned over and kissed the two of them, not surprised that neither of them woke up. Heero had been exhausted when he had shown up here. Duo was still not recovered from his idiotic attempt to control him with drugs. Both of them needed their rest. He groaned a little when he moved. He was getting a bit too old to be sleeping on the floor, not matter how good it sounded at the time. Heero woke up a little at that noise and Rashid gestured at him. "Bed. You and Duo can sleep in today. I have to catch up on things and then will bring you back some lunch."
Heero nodded and crawled into bed settling on the far side. Duo stirred when the warm bodies that had been surrounding him moved. Rashid scooped him up and settled him down next to Heero, covering them both with the quilts that were on the bed. It was still chilly in the room, it would warm up later when the sun rose, but for now those covers were wanted by his lovers.
"I'll be back," Rashid promised. "No one should bother you, I will make sure of that."
Duo nodded and leaned up to kiss him goodbye. Rashid kissed him and then leaned over him to kiss Heero. He could not say good bye to one without the other. Heero would be delightful once he lost his fear of him. Rashid knew that Heero was as passionate as his zauja, even if he didn't show it. He smiled at Heero and told the both of them, "You are both too tempting for words."
"Show us that later then," Heero told him shyly. He didn't know how far he could go with Rashid, for all his bold talk of last night he was still a bit overwhelmed by everything. He thought that it had been a dream, making love to Duo until he had woken up on the floor with him. That had made it real and he just wanted to savor the moment now.
"You are as bad as Duo," Rashid scolded him. "I think that the two of you just want me for my body."
Duo laughed at that and fell back to sleep, curling up around Heero.
"You do throw off a lot of heat," Heero told him. "When the weather gets colder that will be good for us." He turned over after that and went back to sleep.
Rashid laughed at what Heero told him and went off to take a shower. Colder weather meant that they were planning to stay or at least come back. That made him feel better and after his shower he kissed them good bye again and went off to catch up on all the work that he had neglected for the past few days. He also had to find something that would keep their minds occupied while he played with their bodies. He knew that he wanted to find out how Heero had traced Duo to here, but he didn't know if he would tell him if he asked. Heero might want to keep that from him and he didn't blame him. But he would check to see if there was a computer project that the two of them could work on for the summer. That would the best thing for them.
Rashid spent half the morning catching up on his work and making inquires about projects that he hoped would interest Heero and Duo. Aside from a quick breakfast with the Manganacs this morning, he had nothing to do with them. He had made sure that they knew that no one was to enter his rooms this morning. The grins that announcement produced he ignored. Let them think that he was just getting possessive of Duo. He just didn't want any of them finding out that Heero was here before he had a chance to tell Jade about it.
They were all involved in assignments of their own and he knew better then to pair any of them with Duo or Heero. While the men that remained were less abusive then the others had been, with the exception of Abdul, he didn't think that it would be wise to have them working with either of them. He was surprised that it was still early, only about ten in the morning when he was summoned to a meeting with Jade Winner. He hoped that it wouldn't last beyond lunchtime because he did want to have lunch with Duo and Heero. Rashid sighed, he would wait until the end of the meeting to tell the Sahiba¿ that her brother's killer was under his protection. Knowing her, she wouldn't be too upset that Heero was here, but he wanted to be cautious about telling her that, since she actually might have changed her mind about how she felt about his death over the years.
Abdul crept into Rashid's apartment. He had seen the big man get pulled into a meeting with Sâhiba Jade and knew that he would be in there for a while. Rashid would never know that he had been at his little kalba¿ The boy would be too stoned to know the difference between the two of them. Rashid might suspect something, but how could be prove it? That would make up for the fact that the little whore would be too out of it to react to him properly.
He grinned when he saw that Duo was huddled underneath the covers, near the edge of the bed. Good thing that he didn't have to crawl across the bed to get him that might wake him up. The slut was asleep and he was going to get a very rude wake up call when he rolled him over and fucked him. Abdul slipped out of his pants and oiled his cock, he didn't want to break Duo too soon. He would be loose enough since he had Rashid's horse cock in him nightly, so he wouldn't have to stretch him. Abdul threw off the covers and was surprised to see that Qahba¿ was sleeping with Duo. When did he show up? Was Rashid fucking the two of them? No matter, after he was through with Rashid's whore he would show Heero who his master was.
Duo felt the covers being pulled off of him and he blinked sleepily for second trying figure out what was going on. He reacted instinctively when he saw that it was Abdul in the room with him. Rashid said that no one was supposed to be in here and even if he had had sent someone to get them, it wouldn't be Abdul and they would be wearing their pants. He kicked out and was happy to feel his foot connect with flesh and hear Abdul grunt with pain. That bastard was not getting near him again if he could help it!
Abdul snarled when Duo got a lucky hit on him. Who would know that the slut would react so fast? The blow hurt his pride more then anything and he vowed that he would pay the whore back when he got his hands on him.
Heero woke up at that noise and scrambled off the bed to circle around the other side. All he knew was that something was wrong. Abdul was not supposed to be here! He fought his first panic stricken reaction and went to soldier mode. He wasn't drugged and chained now, this bastard couldn't hurt him or Duo again! As he maneuvered to get into position he let out his breath and his fears in one smooth motion. Doctor J's training was so ingrained into him that he didn't even realize that he was doing that. All that mattered to him was to eliminate the threat that was in front of him. He decided that Abdul would be more useful alive and planned his tactics accordingly. He wanted the older man to suffer and not get killed in a clean fight.
Duo barely noticed that Heero was getting off the bed and onto a more stable surface to fight. Abdul was trying to grab him again, reaching for his hair to pin him down. Duo did a sideways snap kick to save his toes and wasn't surprised to feel his foot connect with Abdul's kneecap, dislocating it. He was glad that the bed was low so that he could get a shot like that in. He wanted to disable Abdul, not kill him. Not yet at least. Humiliating the man was a much better plan. If he tried this shit again he was a dead man though. "Alive," he called out to Heero.
"Acknowledged," Heero told him. He noticed the Duo had crippled their target for easier disposal. Duo had his own reasons for keeping the man alive it seemed.
Abdul screamed when he felt his kneecap move and fell to one knee. The Sumata¿ had managed to stop him! That bitch was not a fighter, not if he had rolled over for Rashid like that.
Heero moved in back of Abdul and grabbed the arm that was reaching for Duo. Duo wasn't going to be touched by this eta? bastard. He twisted the arm, dislocating its shoulder and followed that through with a controlled blow to Abdul's nose so that he broke and knocked him out, but didn't kill him. He heard a carrot snapping crack that told him that he managed to break Abdul's nose. He dropped the arm that he was holding and watched Abdul flop to the floor. It took him a second, but he decided that Abdul was still breathing. The whole thing had taken less them thirty seconds and he started to shake. He couldn't help it. Abdul, unconscious and beaten, still scared him.
Duo rolled off the bed and went over to hug Heero. He needed it. Heero had never suffered from post combat shakes in the past and both of them had waded through some pretty nasty shit in the past. Heero clutched at him and buried his face in his neck for a minute, waiting for his body to get under some sort of control. Duo just stroked his back, murmured reassuring nonsense in his ear and waited. He also kept an eye on Abdul just in case.
"Plan?" Heero asked him. Duo wanted Abdul alive for a reason and not because getting rid of the body would be more trouble then it was worth.
"Do you know where the Manganacs sleeping quarters are?" Duo asked him.
"One floor down and over about one hundred feet east of here. Why?" Heero asked.
"We're dropping those idiots off a present," Duo informed him with a grim smile. "Rashid told me in the beginning that I could defend myself if they got out of hand. Abdul nabbed me once when I couldn't defend myself because I was so out of it from the crap that Rashid had me on. He didn't get too far before Rashid found me and stopped him. I just want to remind the rest of the Manganacs that little and slutty does not equal helpless."
"You are not a slut," Heero responded automatically. Rashid just was able to make Duo feel things that few other people could. He was just glad that Duo melted with him now as well as Rashid. People that called him a slut or a whore were just jealous and frustrated.
"They saw me in uber-slut mode before. They think that I am one," Duo told him wryly. Stoned out of his gourd, naked and practically purring because Rashid was touching him. Fucking Rashid and anytime that one of them had walked in on them and not caring that they were in the room with them, making them wait until they were done before they could talk to Rashid. None of them thought that he could be anything but a slut. Dropping off Abdul would show them that he had claws and would use them.
"I'll tie him up and you find us something to wear," Heero told him. He started tearing Abdul's pants into strips to tie up his legs and hands. He didn't bother trying to make it comfortable for the man. He had tried to rape Duo, he was not going to be nice to him.
Duo found a couple of tops that they could borrow in Rashid's closet and then went into the other room, looking for something on Rashid's desk that he could write a note with. He would panic if he came back and found them gone. He wrote a quick reassuring note about having to drop off garbage in the Manganacs' quarters so that he wouldn't worry. Duo dropped it in front of the door so that Rashid could find it and then went to throw some clothes at Heero. He was going to have to explain to Rashid that clothing for them would be nice even if they never wore it.
Heero shrugged at the top that Duo handed to him. He didn't think that his clothes would ever be found.
"We got to tell him that we want something to wear," Duo said. "Even if it's only for little errands like this." He threw on the top that he grabbed for himself and frowned. He felt very odd walking around in this.
Heero nodded. He felt uncomfortable borrowing Rashid's clothing, it felt too much like the time that he had escaped from him. Also he wanted his own clothes back. There was comfort in being fully dressed for him. He hadn't gone back to spandex after Quatre had had him, he had dressed in loose tops and baggy pants when he could. It was funny in a way that he and Duo shared the same wardrobe throughout the war when they were the same size. When they had finally grown, they could still switch tops back and forth, but had to have different pants sizes because he grew longer in the leg and thicker in the waist them Duo did. They did wear the same sweats though.
Duo checked Heero's knots and grinned at him, "Arms or legs?"
Heero thought for a second, "Arms. That way we don't have to worry about a concussion."
"And it will hurt him more," Duo commented.
Heero smiled faintly at that and took one side of Abdul while Duo took the other. Together they dragged him over to one of the stairways and down the stairs, surprised that they didn't bump into anyone. Duo had no idea how many people lived here, how big the building was or even where he was.
"Um... Heero," he started sheepishly, "Where are we? I never did get around to asking Rashid that."
"This place is twenty clicks west of Sorah in Pakistan," Heero told him as they got to the bottom of the stairs. "Turn left and the Manganacs' quarters are behind the first door on the left, which is all the way down this corridor."
Duo followed his instructions and opened the door. He wasn't surprised to see that the room was filled with men, going over their assignments for the day. He thought that he recognized some of them, but it had been too long. Being stoned at the time didn't help his memory any. Heero swallowed had and stood his ground. He knew all of these men. While they hadn't taken more then a turn or two with him, they also hadn't stopped any of the abuse that the others had inflicted on him. The silence grew as they looked at each other. It was a minute before Duo spoke, taking in the odd looks on everyone's face.
"I am just returning to you some vermin that I found in Rashid's rooms, since it belongs here," Duo said coolly. "I don't think that he would like to know about this incident from me."
"Abdul... " one of them started before Heero glared at him.
"I think that if one of you informed him of Abdul's foolishness it would be better then if he heard it from us," Heero told him quietly. "Much better. You have insulted his hospitality. The fact that we are under his protection as guests of his shows how much of an insult this was."
"And why should he believe you, Qahba?" asked another haughtily. "You were a just a whore... "
"Do whores do this?" Duo demanded furiously, kicking Abdul in the ribs. He moaned even if he was unconscious. Heero did not have to listen to this crap from these assholes! "You kept him drugged the entire time because none of you were man enough to face him. Abdul thought that we were helpless. We proved him wrong and the next time that any of you look at us sideways, we won't hurt you, we'll kill you. If you don't fucking believe me, try something. You won't be the first person I've killed."
Silence followed Duo's announcement. The Manganacs looked at each other and then Abdul's unconscious body on the floor. He had been badly beaten and subdued by the two slender youths that stood in front of them. Qahba, well it had taken a lot to hurt him and five of them had had to hold him down for Sahib Quatre. There had been strength in that body that few had matched. He had never stopped fighting them, no matter what they did to his body and then had the cunning to escape them by killing Sahib Quatre the way that he had. They remembered only how harmless Duo had seemed to be with Rashid and couldn't connect that with the cold eyed person that was standing in front of them.
"I think that it would be better if we informed Yaz basi& Kurama of Abdul's idiocy," Auda told them quietly, realizing that no one else would say anything. "Thank you for letting us handle this."
"If Rashid is not informed how his second got into this condition by tonight, we will tell him," Heero replied softly. "We will not cover for any of you. You weren't shocked that we found Abdul in Rashid's and our rooms, you were just surprised that we fought back and hurt him. Never make the mistake that we are either helpless or harmless again."
Heero turned around and walked out of the room, Duo trailing after him.
"Wait!" Auda called out. "What... what is the attraction that... "
Duo turned around and laughed at the question. "I like Rashid. I trust him and he's a gentle man when he wants to be. That is more attractive to me then you would believe."
"But... " someone started from the back of the room.
Duo shook his head, "If you have to ask you sorry bastards, then you don't get it. You never will, but why should a bunch of bandits that thought abusing kids was fun understand anything about trust. And before you squawk about Rashid and dirty hands, I know mine are filthy and he doesn't care. That was my past and I hope to have a future with him and Heero."
"You have until tonight to tell Rashid about Abdul or we will," Heero reminded them. "Do you want to see how angry he will be because you did not have the courage to tell him?"
End Part 2
I have no idea when part C is coming out, just want to warn you. J
Christine
Comments? Email Devilkitty@speakeasy.net