May 18, 2001
oi. this fic is almost done. (thank the lord. ^-^)
~Bianca
duo maxwell's diary
part six
warnings: slight slight 1x2 lime
December 17
1:00, EST. Just arrived in bloody Bradley Airport. Hair is v. bad from static cling against the seats, back aches, knee popping in funny way that used to when played basketball in college. Lunch was disgusting. Stomach growling louder than thunder. All in all, beginning of trip a severe disaster...
First, I saw Dorothy, ex-girlfriend and daughter of Middle Eastern oil tycoon, while waiting to board plane. She looked exotic and frightening, as usual, with a large bindi stuck right between her eyes. The entire time I was talking to her, I couldn't stop staring at it. "How have you been, Duo Maxwell?" she asked, resting a proprietary hand on my knee.
"Quite fine, thank you," I said, stiffly. I'd never really gotten over finding her in bed with Relena. Actually, that was how Ray-Ray and I first met. Pretty ironic, huh?
"That's good," she said, adjusting her Prada sunglasses. Sometimes I really hate people with a lot of money, especially the women. They're always out to prove that they're feminists and that they don't have to answer to anyone, especially not a man. "I'm on my way to a tech fair in New Haven; Marianela [1] is showing some of her new software there, and the little _dear_ is so excited, I just had to show up and support her in her little endeavor."
"Gold Standard Members, including first class passengers, we are ready to board you."
Dorothy slung her Kate Spade over her shoulder and smiled. "Well," she said, as if she were thoroughly enjoying every moment of my misery, "aren't you coming?"
"Nah..." I said, shifting my weight so she couldn't see that my boarding pass read 'business class', "I'm gonna sit here and enjoy the view for a while."
"If you're sure..."
"Positive," I said, smiling so hard my teeth felt like they were going to break off.
So she trotted off, her gloriously long, blonde hair spilling down her bare back, annoyingly rich, annoying in love. I boarded, trying to keep my head down as I passed her.
Then some big-mouthed stewardess spilling boiling hot coffee all over me. It looked like I had peed my pants. She just tittered in that way Americans have and said, "Oops. Sorry, sir. I'll go get you a fresh cup." Then she made a hasty exit.
I finally fell asleep to the soothing music of colicky babies crying in unison. To top it off, I had a nasty, raunchy, porn movie, XXX- rated dream about Heero and I and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Two worlds collide in the best way possible! Except I woke to find my pants were not only wet, but also tight. I felt myself going down a little bit, and then they served chicken for lunch.
Every bite I took tasted like sawdust, but I still got really turned on thinking about what had happened the last time I ate chicken.
We touched down uneventfully, except for the fact that my neighbor's coffee tipped over and splashed all over my lap when we hit a bump. I was used to it by then.
I made it to the Hertz-Rent-a-Car desk, only to discover that they had given the last luxury sedan to someone named "D. Catalonia". I ended up getting a Ford Echo. If you don't know American cars (they're bloody poorly made), it's this squat bubble car that looks like a giant buttock. To make it worse, the engine wasn't working properly, and on the highway, I ended up going 35 miles per hour in this teeny car with a parade of angry drivers behind me. Those Connecticut types; they're so impatient.
I made it to my hotel, a Marriott, and promptly collapsed.
3:00. Ah! Nice nap. Dreamed that Heero proposed, and we ran away to Cancun and shagged on the beach until dawn, when the other residents of the nudist colony came out for a breakfast swim and we all hard a massive orgy. Phone! (Maybe Heero...)
3:12. ARGH! Treize calling; wanted to make sure that knew where conference was, as company paying good money and did not want to waste it. Firmly told him that yes, was competent enough at reading road maps. Bloody bastard huffed a bit, and then hung up.
What should do now? Still hungry, feeling a bit refreshed from nap... Should head downstairs to exercise equipment, but am v. v. hungry for some kind of meat. Steak...yum.
Exercise or eat?
Hard choice. If do not exercise, will get fat, and then Heero will not propose. However, if do not eat, will waste away and die, and then most certainly will not propose. Phone!
3:20. Was Heero. Wanted to know if needed anything, as had found wallet with suspiciously goofy driver's license picture outside apartment building. Damn. Must have dropped it. Before could say anything, volunteered use of Centurion American Express credit card. Yes! Did not ask why had American credit card; simply accepted for open-mindedness.
Was informed that have no credit limit, and should buy whatever need to impress snobbish conference goers. Love Heero to bits. Did not ask Heero why was at apartment. Perhaps is so in love with self that needs to be connected in any way possible. Nice thought.
Then said Hilde had called to ask if would water plants in apartment, because had given them as irreligious Easter gift and didn't take good care of them at all. Bah! Have two green thumbs.
Said goodbye. Time for room service!
December 18
Today, consumed: 4 cigarettes, 5 Taco Bell burritos (v. bad), 6 g & t's (ehhh...v. bad), 1 Mike's Hard Lemonade.
Went to "When Bad Manuscripts Happen to Good Writers" seminar, and instead got caught up in conversation with two little old lady lesbians fighting about who faked what orgasm.
Lady 1: I fake it all the time. She's no good in bed.
Lady 2: Take that back! Besides, I'm the one that's screaming your name every night, even if you're about as stimulating as the newspaper.
Lady 1: You see what I have to deal with? Have you ever faked an orgasm, Duo?
Me: ???
Lady 2: Yeah! What happens when your man doesn't please you, Duo?
Me: How'd you know I--
Lady 1 & 2: It's the braid, darling.
Lady 2: You might as well wear a sign that says "Queer Brit".
Me: ...
Lady 2: Well? How do you fake your orgasms?
Ah! Made escape to Taco Bell for lunch as quickly as possible.
After seminar, went shopping with Heero's Centurion card and bought lots of clothing, more than one outfit of which is for his eyes only. ^_~ Can't wait until get back home.
10:00. UH! Tuh menny g eh teee...
December 19
7:32. Today during conference small minority of heterosexuals spoke up and demanded to know why we were proof-reading gay porn. No one else seemed to mind, so were shot down. Phone!
7:33. Is Heero. ^_^ V. good. Don't know if should tell about cute black lingerie that bought under his name. Am _too_ good at forging signatures.
"How was your day?" he asks. He sounds congested.
"Have you caught a cold?"
"What?" I hear him sneezing in the background.
"Heero," I say, "you are most definitely ill. Get to bed, or I'll call Relena and have her bring over some chicken soup."
"No!" he says quickly. "I'm okay. Just a little cold; I think I'm a bit rundown from all this work on the Milner case..." He laughs a little. "By the way, I've managed to frighten and intimidate the police station into a settlement."
"Really?" How much? I want to ask, but I refrain.
"It's a nice number," and when he whispers it in this bedroom voice that just _turns me on_, I'm speechless for more than one reason.
"Oh," I say.
He laughs again. It's a nice sound. I wish he'd do it more often. "Are you all right, Duo?"
"Peachy keen." I sigh. "So I could quit my job and live off my payments for a few years?"
I can almost picture him raising an eyebrow. "Try the next decade," he says. "The commissioner is afraid of what could happen if there's a big publicity blow-up. Funding could go down-hill very rapidly." I blink.
"Heero, isn't your father on the Board of Finance?"
"Yes," he says, and I hear regret in his voice. "That's probably why funding could go down-hill very rapidly, don't you think? I don't like people pushing around my boyfriend, and my father doesn't like people pushing around my boyfriend either."
I barely contain a squeal.
"So," he says, and he sounds amused. "I've got a faxed printout of a certain person's credit card spending."
"Already?"
"I've got friends at Amex," he says, and it's as naturally as that. I sometimes wonder if he couldn't have the President of the United States assassinated. "What could have possibly interested you at Victoria's Secret?"
"Why don't you come to Hartford and find out?" I say in my best seductive voice, the one I used to practice for hours when I was in high school. "Spend Christmas in the States, Heero. With me."
He doesn't say anything, and I think I've really screwed up, inviting this guy that I kissed at my best friend's wedding and ate chicken with to spend the holidays with me, GOD, I'm so stu--
"I'd love to."
Yes!
Going to have pleasant dreams tonight. ^-^
December 19
7:30 PM. Ah! Where is Heero? Plane was supposed to arrive half hour ago...
8:15. There he is!
2:30 AM. Ah. ^_~ Life is good.
December 20
6:00 AM. Well, is early, but neglected many important details in yesterday's entry. Will try to recount as much as possible.
Well, Heero got off the plane around 8:00 (hard to remember) and he looked positively gorgeous, all plane-rumpled and crumpled. He was wearing jeans, too, which hugged his ass v. nicely. The first thing he did was kiss my cheek (blushed like crazy) and we went to get his bag.
Well! Let me tell you, that was not a fun experience. Thought we saw Heero's bag, but was old lady's bowling bag. When I tried to pick it up, I dropped it on my foot. OW. OW. It hurt worse than the time I put my entire hand on a sizzling frying pan by accident at my grammy's house. (As a plus, later got my toes sucked. _That_ was a very fun experience.)
I saw Heero's bag, but other woman snatched it and started running away with it. Wasn't sure what was going on, but chased after her with Heero. Heero called security on his cell phone while he was running. After last night, I'm sure he's a born multi-tasker.
Security guard caught her. Turned out it was Heero's ex- girlfriend/boyfriend, Zechs. Only he'd stuffed his shirt with tissue and shaved his legs. The police came and took him/her away for stalking.
Somehow, the really unromantic mood didn't keep us from making out in the backseat of the taxi all the way to my hotel.
As soon as we got into my hotel room, I attacked him. Even though I'd been planning to bring out the Victoria's Secret wear, I decided that it could wait for another special occasion. We fell onto the bed and bounced two feet into the air. Definitely a nice bed.
He looked really worried for a while and he kept asking me if he was hurting me, and I kept saying no, but since I was gasping for breath, they were kind of late replies, so I think that kind of confused him too. But then we really got into it and he wrapped his arms around me and literally _lifted_ me off the bed. We were both horizontal, and he was on his knees, and it was one of the sweetest shags I've ever had.
(He told me later, when I asked, that he'd been taking yoga for six years and he could probably have balanced on his big toe if he'd needed to.)
Ah... The afterglow was nice too. We kept saying really stupid things and then laughing at ourselves.
Wish didn't have to go to stupid conference.
7:15. Ah! Must have fallen asleep again. No Heero?
7:16. Ah. Shower running. Not v. coherent in morning.
7:16:39. Think will join Heero in shower.
8:07. AH! Not seven minutes into bloody conference and am already bored, and thinking about what will do with Heero after dinner. Am supposed to be making corrections to manuscript...
8:09. Hehe. Don't know if changing the characters' names counts as corrections, but definitely know that story needs big sex scene in middle of car chase...
8:20. Sharing manuscripts. Damn. Hope am not called to read.
8:27. Argh! Have to read from page 26; er... _Moaning, "Yes! Yes!", the beautiful long-haired gangster tossed his head to the side and lifted his hips for more..._
8:41. Well, leader of conference doesn't look pleased, but the woody in his pants certainly does. ^_~
12:41. Heero picking me up in four minutes. Glad only one more day of conference left. Saw the two little old lady lesbians making out in bushes. AH! Nothing scarier than feisty AARP members.
12:46. Worried, now. Heero too anal retentive to ever be late.
1:00. Ah. Love Heero a lot. Showed up in parking lot with Mercedes Benz; paper license plate still attached to back window. "There was no way I was driving around in a Ford Echo," said the blessed man. "You'll just have to make do with this."
Can't wait to christen it.
2:30. ...Christening finished. After conference, pulled into deserted parking lot and shagged. Hope did not stain leather seats.
5:30. Eating late (^_^) lunch at Papa Gino's; Heero says they have the best pizza anywhere.
5:45. Definitely agree with the "best pizza anywhere" label. Finished off whole cheese pizza. Heero was amused. Tried to get jukebox to play "Let's Hear it For the Boy", but accidentally pressed too hard on buttons and broke jukebox. Now only plays Michael Jackson's "Beat It".
7:30. Going for swim in pool. Heero making phone calls. Love my little lawyer-man.
9:30. Tired.
9:31. Wonder where Heero is?
9:32. Should have left message, or something.
9:34. No message; calling front desk.
9:36. Nothing at the receptionist's desk; no note on door...
9:37. EH! Knife stuck in writing desk, with note made out of block letters. Note reads:
D uO: iF YOu WAnT tO seE HeEro ALiVe, GEt OUT oF ToWn.
9:38. Calling police.
11:00. My poor Heero! Kidnapped...
12:00. Police set up in hotel room. Strange man keeps rubbing back and telling me it's going to be okay.
1:00. No word from kidnapper yet.
December 21
2:00 AM. Police have deciphered message. They think am supposed to leave Heero, or else Heero will be killed. I don't know. I think I agree with them, but the message's kind of vague.
2:13. Ah! Will go crazy with worry.
2:25. Can't help but think about that black lingerie hidden in the closet. Would have really liked to have used it on him...
4:30. Still no word.
5:30. Taking a bloody nap.
7:29. Ah! Got creepy phone call from kidnapper. Sounded an awful lot like stalker freak that stole Heero's bag in airport, but police don't think so. Oh well.
9:30. Got another call: it was Heero.
Heero: Hi, love.
Me: HEERO!
Heero: I'm quite all right, no need to shout.
Me: Are you okay, Heero?
Heero: Yes, except I'm being forcefed Campbell's chicken noodle soup, when any civilized being eats Progresso.
Me: ???
Heero: I'm fine, Duo.
Me: Who's behind all this? Heero?
Creepy Stalker: I'm warning you, Duo Maxwell. Get out of town before I kill Heero.
(faintly) Heero: You wouldn't kill me, Zechs. You just want to f--- me.
Creepy Stalker: So what?! You're ruining my plan, Heero! Just shut up and eat your goddamned soup.
Then bastard hung up.
Oh, hope Heero's really okay!
December 22
6:00 AM. Am being taken, blindfolded in a car, out of Hartford. Was abruptly woken at 5:30 in the morning and checked out of hotel room. Didn't even have time to grab sexy lingerie.
10:00 PM. Well, police have sent self to another city, some Harwinton place that's more of a hicktown than Hicksville... (haha.) Am hiding in hotel room, waiting for call. Have been waiting ALL day. Can barely stop self from running back to the Marriott to see if is okay... Oh, my poor Heero!
10:05. Room service! Maybe have just one glass one wine. One glass to unwind bad nerves.
10:15. Two glasses? Not bad. Not v. good, but not v. bad.
10:25. Ah. Three glasses and counting. Am going to get v. smashed.
11:30. Ah. Smassss. Sasssshhed. Aahhh. Nasd.
end part 6. ^-^
Bianca
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