May 15, 2001

Ah! the fic that wouldn't die...

~Bianca

 

 

Duo Maxwell's Diary by Bianca

Part Five

 

December 16

5:30. Ah! Life a party! Went to work, only to discover that am being sent to Connecticut for editor's conference. Unspecified amount of time. Like a vacation. Would like to invite Heero, but bastard has not yet called to inquire about the Duo's welfare.

So am currently going through closet, looking for clothes that still fit. Black riding pants...no. Wore those pants when was in college and in the Equestrian Youth Club. Bah. Scary people; chaps frightening, and rub against legs, leaving strange red marks. Unpleasant.

Ah! Found tan khakis that make butt look smaller crumpled in bottom of closet...

...because have horrid tomato sauce stain on crotch from Hilde's first attempt at dinner party. Wish had thought to Shout it out before, so would have for trip. Does not matter; will use home- tested remedy to get out stain. Butter and ginger ale always does trick.

5:45. Have vigorously applied butter; now an searching for ginger ale. Hope butter not rotten; wouldn't do to have fruit flies being born in pockets.

5:50. Seltzer water will have to do.

5:55. Should wait another moment for washing powers of butter to kick in... But suspicious. Stain growing larger, rather than smaller.

6:00. Will wash butter out now.

6:03. Ah! Pants not washing!

6:05. Pants ruined. Crotch of pants smells like buttered toast.

6:07. Think it is very sad that must smell crotch of own pants, as have no boyfriend to speak of to sniff.

6:08. Looking for other suitable clothing. Found silk pimping shirt from college days, as well as lace-up thigh high patent leather spiked boots. Wish ex-boyfriend had not left fetish toys in apartment.

6:10. Giggle at thought of Heero in lace-up thigh high patent leather spiked boots.

6:11. Damn. Now am horny. Wish Heero would call.

6:13. Found pair of pinstripe trousers, but no jacket. ??? Where have put jacket? !!!

6:15. Phone! No jacket, yet.

6:25. Was Sally; wants to get together for a weekend lunch at Barbarelli's. Unfortunately, am broker than God, but did not say that. Instead, said in best boastful voice that am going on very expensive, very important business trip that could affect the entire company's future.

Bloody bitch said she feared for the company, then.

Hmmph! V. bad of her to say that. Everyone thinks am careless with money. Have fiscal fitness! Simply choose not to exercise.

Where is bloody jacket?

6:45. Found jacket, with large hole in armpit. Wish had replaced clothing when torn or used.

6:50. Taken inventory of wardrobe: results v. pitiful. 2 dress shirts, one w/ missing top button. No matter; will show off sexy pectorals and all the boys will fall over in lust. 1 pair pinstripe pants, 2 pairs jeans, 1 pair good black dress pants w/ funny inseam. Need to go shopping--Phone!

7:12. Heero called. Wanted to know if perhaps, if wasn't too busy or too tired from ordeal, wanted to get together for dinner. Had to turn down; couldn't put together outfit to save life.

Now kind of depressed. Probably should have just gone out anyway in pinstripe pants and undershirt--Phone!

7:15. Heero again. Wanted to come over anyway. Did not care what am wearing. Promised to make dinner. Said had no edible food in house. Turned Heero down. Probably should have just made mac and cheese. Kind of sad now.

7:20. Tidied up apartment. Does not look like Hurricane Maxwell blew by.

7:25. Packed suitcase. Sadly, zipper actually zips without sitting on it. *Really* need to go shopping v. badly, as soon as get next paycheck.

7:30. Door. Hope is not Trowa and Quatre, wanting to show off married life. Am getting sick of their cootchy-coo and baby noises.

7:31. Was Heero! Is in bathroom now tidying up, sure sign of a gay man. Am sitting on table, staring at rotisserie chicken that blessed man has brought. Drool, drool.

7:34. Time to eat!

11:00. Well. Had nice dinner; Heero served, but had trouble cutting with little plastic knife and spork. No matter. Chicken v. good; nice and juicy. Between servings of biscuits and mashed potatoes, ended up making out on couch with Heero on top. Nearly freaked out when felt vibration against stomach. Had not known was kinky man!

But was just pager. Heero's mother was in hospital with gall bladder stone. Ouch. Sounded painful. Heero gave little kiss goodbye, and squeezed butt. Hoped was firm enough.

Oi! Time to float to bed. Have plane to catch in morning.

 


End Part Five

Bianca

 


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