Yoiko: Hey, Heero, how come you always wear those itty bitty shorts?
Heero: *glowers*
Yoiko: Aw, c'mon, man, do the script.
Heero: *glowers*
Yoiko: Just look at all the other people who have cooperated! ^_^
Heero: *glowers*
Yoiko: Do the script, or I'll turn you over to Zechs and Treize for an hour of playtime.
Heero: .....I like my shorts.
Yoiko: *sigh* Ok, just read the line, right there. Ok? Hey, Heero, how come you always wear those itty bitty shorts?
Heero: There's a SPAMfic in that...
It was freezing. Trowa huddled in his borrowed coat, shivering as his tight jeans offered meager protection from the biting wind. It could be worse, though. He glanced over at his silent fellow pilot. Heero also wore a borrowed coat, but there was nothing between him and the cold but his usual skimpy spandex shorts. The gooseflesh rising on the Perfect Soldier's legs was an oddly comforting sight for Trowa - because Heero was not so much as batting an eyelash at the Arctic cold, let alone shivering. It was good to know that there was a human under the impassive gaze.
"Samui..." Trowa muttered to himself, huddling deeper into the coat's warmth. He had to wonder, though... why shorts? Why in the world would Heero insist on wearing those shorts to this inhospitable clime?
He would just have to wonder, though, because questioning Heero on the subject only earned a fellow a death threat.
Heero glared at the other boy, all too aware of the reason everyone was looking at him askance. It was these damned shorts. He was going to freeze his ass off, for sure, and it would be all Duo's fault. Next time he laid eyes on that long-haired lunatic, he was going to introduce him to the REAL Shinigami.
His scowl deepened as he reflected back on that fateful day...
Duo had rescued him from the Oz hospital (and Relena's tender loving care), and Heero had been surprised to realize that Duo was taking him to his own safe house. The men who were helping Duo with his Deathscythe seemed put out by Heero's insistence on fixing his own Gundam, but Duo had smoothed things over easily.
And then Heero had done it. He had asked the guy to be quiet for a little while - a very polite, reasonable request, in his opinion, because he was working on some delicate circuitry at the time. Duo had gone back to his room, offended...
And then... and then Heero realized that he had made a dreadful mistake. He felt the waistband of his spandex shorts being pulled out, and before he could turn to kill the overly-familiar idiot, something cold and liquid seeped down the inside of the garment, sealing it instantly and permanently to his skin. Duo ran away, with the bottle of Industrial-Strength SuperGlue in his hand, cackling like a lunatic. Heero decided not to kill him just then, because the men who were helping Duo all seemed to want to protect him from the Perfect Soldier's wrath. So Heero had bided his time, and stolen some Shinigami parts in partial retaliation. But one of these days... one of these days, Duo Maxwell was going to die.
Heero stifled the urge to shiver, reflecting on the many ways one could kill a long-haired loon. As soon as the Superglue wore off, he would kill Duo. Well, he would kill Duo right after he had a chance to FINALLY go to the bathroom!
THE END
Yoiko: Well, whaddya think?
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Yoiko: Eheh... *backs away* I bet you say that to all the girls! AND that's all for today, folks! Hopefully, there will be more How-Come fics in the future, if the author lives long enough to write them!
Author's Note: I don't own the characters or situations of Gundam Wing, and this story is not meant to be taken as a claim to the copyright on this wonderful anime series. Also, I mean no disrespect whatsoever to the authors and creators of Gundam Wing.
Please send comments to: Yoiko