If you haven't read "Wufei is WHAT?!" this might not make much sense to you... what the heck am I saying? It won't make sense anyway. ^_~ After all, how logical is it to have a pregnant man? The yaoi warning applies to this story - there is a male/male relationship presented in this story. If that sort of thing bothers you, this would be a good time to stop reading.
"Treize," Wufei murmured, leaning over the edge of the bed to shake his lover awake. It was a bit awkward because of his rather round little tummy and he scowled sulkily. It was becoming more and more difficult to sneak away from his fellow pilots for these little assignations! Duo kept trying to follow him to make sure Heero was not the father. "Treize! I'm having a craving!"
"What is it, Wufei!?" Treize groaned, pulling his head from beneath a pillow.
"Ex*CUSE* me?" Wufei prompted him with a sharp frown.
Treize sighed. "What is it that you desire, O Light of My Life, O He Whose Smile Bringeth Forth the Dawning of the Sun?" There was more but Treize just *wasn't* going to repeat all of it at three in the morning!
"I want a virgin strawberry daiquiri," Wufei prompted, deciding to let Treize get by with that shortening of the usual spiel. "In one of those plastic margarita cups like they sell at Wal-Mart."
"You don't like strawberry daiquiris!" Treize told him with a disgruntled noise.
"I said I WANT a virgin strawberry daiquiri in one of those plastic margarita cups like they sell at Wal-Mart!" the little Chinese boy demanded again, beginning to pout.
"Wufei, I am not going to Wal-Mart at this time of night!" Treize groaned. Damn, he just wanted to go back to sleep! Was that so much to ask!?
"Am I not carrying your CHILD, Mr. Mega-Pervert Treize 'Who NEEDS condoms?' Khushrenada!?" Wufei demanded stridently, stomping a foot. "The least you can do is take care of this one small thing for me!"
"NO!" Treize groaned loudly.
The response was a sudden sharp sniffle followed by several pitiful whimpers, a loud wail and a flood of tears. "You don't love me!" Wufei sobbed. "You never loved me! You just wanted me for my body and now I'm f... f... FAT!!" he wailed.
The deep sigh that broke from Treize's chest expressed his frustration as he got up to dress. "Very well, Wufei, O Light of My Life, O He Whose Smile Bringeth Forth the Dawning of the Sun. I will get you a virgin strawberry daiquiri in a plastic cup from Wal-Mart. But you know those things are utterly tacky." He jerked his t-shirt over his head, buttoned his jeans and slid on tennis shoes.
"Don't make fun! It's what I want!" Wufei sniffled, stripping down to his pregnant-boy underwear and crawling into the warm spot in Treize's bed. Treize headed for the door as Wufei spoke up again. "And onion rings!" the little Chinese boy called.
With a violent shudder, Treize left as quickly as possible, hoping nothing more repulsive than that last request would be made. Ugh! He sighed and thought to himself, "Why did Wufei come past Wal-Mart to drag me out of bed for this!?" Best not to ask. He wasn't up for yet another bout of tears!
"Wufei."
Wufei rolled over from his position on his side and rubbed a dark eye sleepily. "Treize...?"
"Here is your virgin daiquiri." Treize pushed off his tennis shoes and started unbuttoning his pants when a squawk of irritation filled the air.
"You brought me a BLUE cup!" Wufei sulked, beginning to tear up again. "And I wanted a purple one!" came the sob.
"Wufei..." Treize groaned and began to lay down beside his tiny lover. "Won't a blue one do!? It tastes just the same!"
Wufei bawled pitifully. "I want a purple one!"
"You're just going to have to make do, Wufei!"
The pregnant boy began to weep in earnest, slim shoulders shaking with the violence of his sobs.
Wordlessly, Treize rose and pulled on his jeans once again, replacing his tennis shoes with a sigh. Yet another trek to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night.
Rubbing a bristly jaw, Treize stopped the nearest employee he could find after searching for forever. "Excuse me. I need a cheap tacky plastic purple margarita cup..."
"Check the shelves," the dark-haired girl answered lazily.
"There are none there; only blue ones," the young general replied tiredly.
"...I'll get a stock boy for you..."
An hour and a half later...
"Wufei."
Wufei rolled over onto his back from his position on his side and rubbed a dark eye sleepily. "Treize...?"
"Here... is your virgin strawberry daiquiri. In a purple margarita cup from Wal-Mart that had to be gotten from storage."
Wufei took the purple cup and sniffed indignantly as he began drinking. "Are you implying that I'm not worth the effort, Mr. Mega-Pervert Treize 'Who NEEDS condoms?' Khushrenada?"
"Never, O Light of My Life, O He Whose Smile Bringeth Forth the Dawning of the Sun, O He Whose Body Expandeth With My Seed and Who Lendeth Grace unto My Life," Treize answered tiredly, sighing as he kicked off his tennis shoes, t-shirt and jeans to crawl in bed once more.
"Where are my onion rings? Oh... wait... there are no onion rings!"
The wailing began once again... "Treize! Stop crying! You're making the baby kick!"
THE END
Fic by Yoiko and Tzigane, "Wufei is WHAT?" Productions
We do not own Gundam Wing, and the characters and situations from the show are used here without permission or license. This fic is not meant to be taken as a claim to copyright, and we mean no disrespect whatsoever to the creators of this wonderful anime series.
Please send comments to: Yoiko