Duo: Yoiko!!! How could you?
Quatre: What's wrong?
Duo: Just look at that fic title!
Quatre: Oh, no, Yoiko! I don't want to do another sissy-boy fic! I hate that!
Duo: Yeah, me too! If I have to drool on Heero one more time...
Quatre: No, I mean, yaoi isn't a problem for me. But I hate having to act like such a wimp!
Wufei: I object to the term "fruits." Even for a yaoi fic, I hardly think we'd merit such disrespect.
Heero: Especially from you, Yoiko.
Duo: Yeah. I thought you liked us!
Trowa: ...........
Quatre: Yeah, what he said!
The fanfic author merely grinned, a maniacal light gleaming in her eyes as she began to write. The five Gundam pilots, having seen similar expressions on characters like Kodachi Kuno, Katsuhiko Jinnai and Relena Peacecraft, fell silent and waited in dreadful anticipation, expecting the worst as the fic began.
"Mmm-mmm!" Quatre sighed happily, slurping at the sweet, thick-
Quatre: Yoiko! What are you doing to me? Do you have any idea what this kind of thing does to a guy's reputation???
"Oh, that's the best yet," Duo said with a grin, casually wiping his chin with the back of his hand-
Duo: I don't believe this! You hate me, don't you?
Wufei didn't bother to speak - he was too busy savoring the moment, delicately mouthing the sweetly rounded-
Wufei: Woman! You're lucky I won't stoop to hurting someone so defenseless!
Trowa almost smiled, practically drooling in anticipation as he slowly peeled away the-
Trowa: ...................
Quatre: You're right, Trowa. I don't believe it, either.
Heero merely glowered at the others and went back to work with the tweezers, his face set in intense concentration.
Heero: *glowering* What?
Duo: I don't get it. What are the tweezers for?
Quatre: *shudder* I wouldn't have expected her to throw tweezers in...
Wufei: Is there no end to the woman's depravity?
Trowa: ............
Quatre: You're right, probably not.
Quatre smiled beatifically at his friends, delighted that they were enjoying themselves so much. He only wished he'd thought of this ages ago!
Quatre: Oh, great! Now the whole fic is MY fault?
"Thanks for the bananas!" Trowa said, happily peeling another one and nearly smiling at Quatre, who cheerfully slurped another peach slice. Wufei merely nodded his thanks, rolling frozen grapes around in his half-numbed mouth before biting into them. Duo grinned as he tossed his third apple core into the trash can, then noticed what Heero was doing and laughed.
"Heero, you're supposed to eat the seeds!" he exclaimed.
"I like strawberries," Heero said in a deadly serious voice as he carefully plied the tweezers. "I don't like seeds."
The fanfic author laughed like a loon and ran for dear life as the Gundam boys decided to get revenge for being the victims of such a cheesy, pathetic excuse for a joke.
Yoiko: Aw, c'mon, guys! Where's your sense of humor? I mean, with all the fruit in the story, at least I didn't make it a lemon!
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Duo: Get her!
Wufei: Onna!
Trowa: .............
Quatre: I'll help, Trowa... but can I finish my peaches first?
^_~
Yoiko
has totally and completely lost it. But how can you tell the
difference? ^_~
Author's Note: I don't own the characters or situations of Gundam Wing, and this fic is not meant to be taken as a claim to the copyright. Also, I mean no disrespect to the creators of this wonderful anime series.
Please send comments to: Yoiko