Author : Whiteangel
Song fiction : Private Emotions
Performed by : Ricky Martin and Meja
Created in : 23/05/00
Finished in : 24/05/00
Author's Note:
This is a real sappy song fiction^^ ( I think...) It has been so long since I write a story about these pairing^^;; Actually, it has been too long since I last wrote a fic. Anyway, the characters are a little OOC and also, these characters do not belong to me, so don't sue me!!^^
~Every endless night has a
dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray~
Looking at the dark sky above him, a calm, soothing sensation settled over him. He laid down on the sweet lush grass and put his hands behind his head. He closed his eyes as the soft breeze came and caressed his soft brown hair, tickling his nose by ruffling his long, one sided fringe. He thought about these past few months, where his life had changed drastically when he met his blue eyed angel. Ever since he had met this angel, his life completely changed. He felt that this was one good thing in his life and that he was glad he was alive. Many times, he wanted to die.... But now, he no longer felt that way. Indeed, this was one good thing in his damned life, a shining light in the dark and that shining ray was Quatre.
~And it shines on you baby
can't you see~
Quatre got out of his mobile suit and deftly made his way down and towards his other half. As he reached the clearing, he saw a figure lying on the grass. The moon was full and bright, and there were many stars. The night air was cool and crisp. As he stood there, he felt cleansed. After a few moments, he moved towards his darling, someone he loved more than his own life -- Trowa.
~You're the only one who can
shine for me~
"Trowa..."
Trowa got up at the mention of his name. He smiled, a small smile specially meant for his angel. He stretched his hand to Quatre and said in his quiet voice, "Quatre."
Quatre smiled and moved swiftly towards that outstretched arm. As he got nearer, Trowa grabbed him all of a sudden, causing a small shriek from Quatre who lost his balance and fell into Trowa's protective embrace.
"Did you like that?" Trowa whispered into Quatre's ear as he tightened his arms around the sandrock pilot.
"Hmmm..." Quatre liked it immensely. He snuggled deeper into the embrace, and rested his head upon Trowa's shoulders. "Its a beautiful night, don't you think?"
"Aaa..." Trowa agreed wholeheartedly. After all, how could it not be when his angel was in his arms, and the sweet scent of the golden haired boy engulfed him. He gently kissed Quatre's forehead, " but nothing is more beautiful than you..."
Quatre blushed at the unexpected compliment but he was amazed by it too. Trowa was one who never displayed any emotions but on this night he did. He was glad to notice the slight change in Trowa. He got out of the embrace and turned to face the tall, slender pilot. He tenderly tugged the long, one sided fringe behind Trowa's ear and softly but stoically whispered, "Trowa, you are beautiful too..." With that, he planted a chaste kiss on Trowa's lips.
"Quatre..." Trowa pulled Quatre closer for a kiss, an unchaste one as he tilted Quatre's head slightly.
~It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me~
"Emm mmm" Quatre groaned as Trowa's tongue moved furiously in his mouth. Trowa gently lowered Quatre down as they continued the fiery play.
Just then, they broke up to take in air into their oxygen starved lungs. A silence fell between the two lovers as they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes. At that point in time, a cloud passed over the moon, marring its beauty while at the same time, stealing the light.
Trowa affectionately swept stray strands of hair away from Quatre's face. "You are the one good thing that ever happened to me, do you know that?"
Quatre was touched at the quiet admission. After a few months of what had started off as friendship had now developed into an intimate relationship.
"So am I.. You are the one good thing that had happen to me, though it may sound like a fluke coming from me. I may have anything I wanted, but all these are material. You are not money can buy."
Trowa lowered himself to kiss Quatre again. He could not get enough of kissing those plush, kissable lips. "Come to me...Quatre... Give yourself to me..."
~When your soul is tired and your
heart is weak
Do you think of love as a one way street
Well it runs both ways,
open up your eyes
Can't you see me here,
how can you deny~
~ Trowa's Perspective. ~
I remembered that day very clearly. It almost as it just happened yesterday. It was the day when Quatre had declared his love for me, it seemed like a dream... This boy, who had anything he wished for, would actually wished to have me? Now, wasn't that weird? To tell you frankly, I never thought I would fall in love again, not since Ralph had left.... I am so tired, emotionally exhausted after what I had been through after his departure. My heart had broken into million pieces, I could not eat, could not sleep, could not do anything.... I'm like a walking corpse. But now, I am actually trying to experience love again, the kind that I had vowed severely to myself that I will not fall for it again. However, this angel, this blue eye angel had somehow found himself to my heart, to leave a print etched firmly in my heart... Quatre.... are you meant for me? Do you really mean what you had said? Will you be with me forever and ever, till the end of time? Or are you playing with me?
(Flash Back)
"Say, Trowa... Have you ever being in love?"
"Why do you ask?" Trowa threw back a question back to the speaker sitting across him as he sipped his tea.
The speaker blushed, and turned away. "Just curious, I guess... I mean.. You are so good looking, I..er.. I'm sure many girls had swooned over when they lay their eyes on you..."
Trowa felt it odd that he would be asked this kind of question out of the blue. He looked out of the window and lied in a serious tone, " No... I.. I had never being in love with anyone...."
/Not since that jerk left me.... Not ever...../ he thought to himself.
"Really?"
The brown haired pilot nodded and continued, "I will never fall in love again...."
The speaker was shocked, "But why?"
"Its painful."
"But...how did you know?"
"I just know..."
By now, the speaker had a nagging suspicion. He suspected that Trowa had lied to him earlier on about him never fallen in love. he sipped his tea while a gentle gust of breeze slipped into the room and ruffled his golden hair. Quatre laid down his cup as he said in a matter of fact manner, "You lied."
"Why do you say that?" Trowa asked, turning to face him. His emerald eyes gazed unmovingly at him.
"Its...its because of the way you answered my question.. You said, 'its painful' , as if you knew how hurtful it can be when you are in love. That kind of bittersweet feeling one will get when pinning for his/her love. The anguish experienced when one realizes the other is leaving or had left...."
Trowa gasped softly as Quatre had hit unerring a painful spot in his heart with every word he had uttered. Quatre had heard the soft sound. He began to speak again, "It gets worse when the love is unrequited love."
"You have experienced it?"
"No... but I am afraid it might be so..." Quatre stared at Trowa, his blue sapphire eyes soften as he gazed into the pair of emerald greens.
Trowa broke away, got out from his chair and turned towards the window again. " I see..... Sometimes, I felt that love is just one way street. You cannot make a U- turn, go back to square one, where you haven't realized your feelings for that person yet."
Quatre got out too and went to join Trowa, standing beside him as he glanced out of the window too, " But love, it runs both ways too."
"Huh?"
"You may think of it one way street but so would the other party." Quatre ended meaningfully as he turned towards Trowa again before continuing, " Both parties are running in different directions... They never recognize it, that's all...."
"I see..."
/No...you don't see it... Trowa, open your eyes and look at me.... I am here for you.../ Quatre screamed out silently in his mind but never had the courage to voice them out vocally. He wanted so much to tell Trowa how he really felt for him, how this feeling had gone beyond the boundary of friendship. " Perhaps, this is what love is all about. The heartaches, the tingles and everything. It is what make love so special...."
"Quatre, have you?"
"Have I what?"
"Have you ever fall in love?"
Quatre gasped in surprise. He was taken aback by the sudden question. "Why do you ask?"
Trowa smiled amusingly, "Why do you have the same reaction as I do earlier? Besides its fair that I ask you, right?"
Quatre chuckled as he recalled the earlier parts of the conversation. "Well... I am now.... I have fallen in love with someone who always had considered me as a friend."
" Why don't you tell her?"
"I.... I.... Trowa, its not a 'she' . "
"You mean..."
Quatre walked away from the window and stopped a few feet away. "Yes.."
"I see..." Trowa was startled at the revelation that Quatre would actually fall for a guy. "So who is he?"
Quatre took a deep breath as he pondered whether should he revealed the hidden secret buried deep down in his heart. But he was afraid of Trowa's reaction, afraid of what he might think of him and most of all, he was afraid what might happen to the friendship. Should he tell and jeopardized the friendship? He was not sure....
"Quatre?"
The golden haired boy turned around and stared hard at Trowa. He wanted to take a gamble, wanted badly to know his reaction. He clenched his fists as he tried to muster his courage to say those fateful words, "Its you....."
Trowa was stunned.. /How can this be? He loves me?? Actually love me?/
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"When did you realized that you..."
"A few months ago...."
"I see.... Well erm....excuse me..." Trowa did not know how to handle the situation. He decided to get out of the place and find one when he could sit down and think it all through.
"Trowa, please... please listen to me..."
"No, Quatre... I.. I need some time to think it through..."
Quatre was sad, he knew what would the outcome be. "All right..."
~Every endless night has a dawning day Every darkest sky has a shining ray~
~ Trowa's Perspective. ~
I remembered that day very clearly. It almost as it just happened yesterday. It was the day when Quatre had declared his love for me, it seemed like a dream... This boy, who had anything he wished for, would actually wished to have me? Now, wasn't that weird? To tell you frankly, I never thought I would fall in love again, not since Ralph had left.... I am so tired, emotionally exhausted after what I had been through after his departure. My heart had broken into million pieces, I could not eat, could not sleep, could not do anything.... I'm like a walking corpse. But now, I am actually trying to experience love again, the kind that I had vowed severely to myself that I will not fall for it again. However, this angel, this blue eye angel had somehow found himself to my heart, to leave a print etched firmly in my heart...
Never thought that I would actually decided to give it a try again and boy, I am so glad that I did. Otherwise, I would have lost the friendship and this wonderful feeling of being a whole again....
(A few days later...)
Quatre had been so depressed ever since the day he had professed his love to the heavyarms pilot. He regretted his hasty decision and fervently wished for time to turn back again. He would give anything if only time could go back to that fateful day. Just then, a knock was heard on his door.
"Go away... I don't have appetite.."
"Are you sure?"
Quatre was startled, /Could it be... is it him? No it can't be.../
He ran to open the door and almost cried in relief as his eyes took in the image of that one person he wanted to be with, wanted desperately to have-- the pilot of heavyarms, Trowa Barton.
"Oh Allah..."
Trowa took him into his arms, and apologized. "I'm so sorry..."
"No, don't be.." Quatre whispered into the broad chest that hid his face. "I'm so glad that you are here.... I won't ask anything other than your friendship..."
Trowa released Quatre to glance the tear stricken face. He began to wipe the tears away, "I'm sorry.."
Quatre shook his head, "I--"
Trowa shushed him by placing his forefinger on his lips. "I've decided I want to fall in love again... Will you teach me?"
"Oh Allah..." Quatre was dumb struck. "Is this real or just fantasy I had conjured in my mind?"
Trowa bent down and kissed Quatre, gently tracing the outline of the jaw line with his lips, "Does this seem like a fantasy?"
Quatre shook his head again, "No, it doesn't..."
(Back to present)
Quatre laid naked in Trowa's arms, sated and contented. They had been together for a few weeks now after that day when Trowa came back. However, they had not been intimately close as Trowa was still uncomfortable with the idea. Though they were not physically close, they had shared something more satisfying than physical intimacy, it was something more magical -- love.
Trowa kissed Quatre's forehead, "Are you tired?"
Quatre tightened his hold around Trowa's neck and replied, "No..."
"Then, why are you so quiet?"
"I'm not Duo..." he answered cheekily.
Trowa chuckled, "Thank God....Then, what are you doing?"
"I'm thinking..."
"Thinking of...."
"You. I still can't believe it.. We are together..." Quatre lifted his head and looked at Trowa, " When you left that day after my declaration, I almost want to die..."
"I'm sorry... I was just shock... Its not everyday a friend whom you deemed it to be the closest revealed his deepest feelings..."
Quatre propped his head upon his hand while the other doodled idly on Trowa's chest, " I see...."
"No matter what, I still came back...."
"Yes...Trowa..."
"Yes?"
"Aishiteru..."
"Trowa reached out and lovingly stroked Quatre's face, "Me too..."
~It takes a lot to laugh as your
tears go by
But you can find me here till your
tears run dry
It's a private emotion that fills
you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me~
~Owari~
Whiteangel
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