27-Oct-2000
I have put forward a goal for myself. I _WILL_ have
all of this fic done by October 31st.
Duo: May Tsuborov haunt your dreams if you don't.
Yes...::sweatdrop::
Author: Tigress Pern
Archived at: GW Addiction
Warnings: Alternate Universe, slight OOC
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, nor any lyrics of
songs used. They belong to their respective creators.
"Now, I know Halloween is coming up." The teacher began. She was about to start a lecture on the absurdity of the holiday and already the class was ignoring her. This happened every year. No matter how hard she tried to communicate the dangers of it, most of her students still planned to do ridiculous things on Halloween. The nerve of some of them! Didn't they know anything about the origins of Halloween and how any good Christian wouldn't participate? Fortunately for the class, they weren't "good Christians" and planned to celebrate anyway.
"Have you given any thought to having a party yet?" Wufei whispered to Trowa practically leaning across the aisle in order to be heard.
"No."
"I think it would be fun to have a séance then. Just the four of us. What do you think?"
"I don't know."
"Halloween is said to be the day when the border between the living and the dead fades the most. We might actually be able to see Duo." Wufei hissed. He was really excited about the prospect of seeing a real ghost. Trowa wasn't so sure.
"Let me talk to Catherine." Trowa said after a moment. "If she disagrees, then it's off."
"Right, she's the boss."
"Mr. Chang, Mr. Barton. Would you like to share with the rest of the class what you are saying?" the teacher asked, her eyes cold.
"No ma'am." They chorused. Prude thought Trowa.
"A party on Halloween? I don't know Trowa." Catherine said. "The house really isn't furnished yet."
"It would just be Quatre, Wufei and Meiran over, plus you and Heero." Trowa said calmly hoping the small number of people would help persuade her.
"You've been seeing an awful lot of them recently." Catherine commented. "In fact, they've been here every Saturday and Wednesday for the past couple of weeks. Why? Have you been plotting this that long?"
"No, not exactly. They've been helping us clean." Trowa quickly covered. He didn't want Catherine to know about the séances. She narrowed her eyes at her brother.
"Trowa Barton, you know that I don't believe that. You've been up to other things. I ran into Kari Winner the other day and she mentioned something about if the ouija board was helping at all. What exactly are you doing up on the third story?" Trowa fidgeted for a moment. Kuso! Damn that Kari and her big mouth.
"They've probably been holding séances." Heero broke in. Catherine looked up from Trowa to nod to him.
"Séances? As in trying to contact the dead?" Heero nodded. "Trowa, I'm waiting."
"Yes, we've been holding séances." He admitted. Curse that Heero! What was his problem anyway? Couldn't he just leave Duo alone? Trowa had more than once found him lurking about on the third floor as they finished their séance. Duo normally warned them if Heero was close, but still.
"For pity's sake! What has been going through your heads? Séances! Look for the last time, this house isn't haunted. There are no such things as ghosts!" Trowa clenched his fists. For the first time in what was probably years, Trowa lost his temper.
"This house is haunted! I've seen the evidence myself! Things move by themselves, stairs creaking, the radio flipping stations when no one is around! They all equal up to a ghost! Hell! We've even talked to him through the ouija board! The ghost of Duo Maxwell haunts this house! Believe it Catherine! I've even fucking heard his voice!" Before she could speak, Trowa spun around and faced Heero down. "And as for you! I don't know what crap your grandfather told you about him, but Duo Maxwell is not an evil spirit! Leave him the fuck alone and stay off the third floor. Yes, I know you've been snooping around up there."
"That ghost has to go. Look what it's doing to you. You're not acting normal." Heero said. Trowa's eyes narrowed even further.
"Like hell!"
"Trowa!" Catherine snapped, but Trowa was beyond reason. He glared at them both.
"Leave me alone!"
"Trowa!" But her cry fell on deaf ears. Trowa stormed out of the kitchen and into his room, slamming the door behind him. Catherine stared after him in shock.
"I think you should consider believing ghosts." Heero said at length. "He's being controlled by one."
"I don't believe it. No, this isn't right. God, what is going on in this house?"
"It's the curse." Heero told her. "My grandfather warned me about it. Look, I seriously think we need to get someone to exorcise it or at least tell it to move on." Slowly Catherine turned towards him.
"You're that certain?"
"Hai."
"I'll think about it."
"Think quickly. Halloween is coming up in a five days and that's the day when spirits have the most energy."
"All right. Let's go to the library and look up exorcisms."
"I suggest we use the Internet." Heero informed her. "More books are on it and we won't have to leave the house. We have to keep an eye on him."
"Agreed." Catherine said. She took Heero to her room and they both sat in front of the computer for several hours checking various sights and emailing experts.
Trowa sat on the floor of his room; his knees tucked up to his chin. He'd lost his temper and he felt ashamed for it. He shouldn't have yelled at either of them, but he had.
"You didn't have to do that." A voice said. Trowa's head snapped up. He hadn't even felt the air temperature drop. "Heero is bound to get rid of me. Damn Hiroshi, filling his head with all sorts of nasty thoughts. The coward just couldn't handle it."
"Duo?"
"Hai?"
"Why did Hiroshi Yuy hate you?" There was a long pause.
"I don't want to talk about it." Duo replied. "Let's talk about what's up with you instead. You haven't been the same since you saw my picture. Are you okay?" Now it was Trowa's turn to be silent. "You said I was handsome, did you mean it?"
"Yes." Trowa admitted. The picture probably didn't do you justice though, Trowa mused. Shit, he was doing it again. It's not like his little fantasies could ever come true. Yeah, right the ghost and me.
"Trowa, this world is more open minded than it used to be right?" Duo asked cautiously. Trowa could sense the apprehension in the air. "I mean you have those computer things that let you talk to people all over the world and television. I heard about the sixties and the counterculture movement. Women's liberation, the civil rights movements, and the Vietnam War. I know about them all, not in great detail, but enough. Tell me, please. Is this world more tolerable?" Trowa didn't completely understand the question. Duo seemed to be almost talking in riddles.
"Yes, it is more open than it used to be." Trowa said cautiously. "We talk about sex in school and other things that were once taboos. The world is connected through the Internet and people share ideas freely."
"I wish I'd been born in this time, I think I would have fit in better." Duo sounded depressed. "I hate being dead. I should have lived a long life, but I didn't. I died. It wasn't my time. I wish I could move on, but I can't."
"Why?"
"Because."
"That isn't an answer." Trowa told him. The air about him quivered and Trowa thought he saw the outline of someone pacing back and forth.
"I can't talk about it...it's too painful. You wouldn't understand. You've got a wonderful life! A loving sister, friends who care about you..."
"My parents are dead. My life isn't that wonderful Duo."
"At least you don't have to pretend to be something you're not!"
"Maybe I am." Trowa replied. "Now, what is holding you here?"
"I...I...I...NO!" Suddenly an erratic wind blew about knocking everything over. Trowa's stuffed lion flew off its self, hitting the computer with a dull thwack. Covering his head, Trowa was pelted with falling books from his bookshelf. Uncurling, he found his room in shambles. Slowly he rose. Looking about him, he wondered what was Duo's problem. Why had he been so interested on the world today?
Picking up the lion, Trowa cradled it for a moment. Why? Why had Duo said he was pretending to be someone else? Impossible! Trowa thundered out of his room and tore up the stairs to Duo's. Throwing open the door he was confronted by a stack of furniture that had once been neatly placed in the room. Duo had put up a barricade, a barricade Trowa wasn't going to let stop him. He began to dismantle it, casting the chairs and table into the hallway. Once they were gone, he climbed over the bed and stalked about.
"Duo." No answer. "Duo?" Trowa stood still and listened. The air was definitely cooler here than outside, which meant that he was near by. Something caught his attention. It was soft and barely audible. Trowa slipped over to the closet and opened the door. There was nothing in there, but Trowa could clearly hear the sound of someone crying. "Duo?"
"Go away."
"No."
"Can't you just let me be?"
"No."
"I don't want to talk."
"Duo, answer me truthfully. Do you like women?"
"That's ridiculous... I refuse to answer." Duo began to exclaim, but Trowa cut him off.
"Just answer the question. Remember I'm very open minded and won't criticize you." Trowa hoped he'd answer.
"Why in the world would you ask if I like women?"
"I mean sexually. Could you picture yourself in bed together, with a woman?" There was a long silence.
"No."
"That's why you're still here isn't it? You can't admit you prefer men."
"Yes, no...I don't know! All I know is that I'm here and can't move on. I hate myself. I hate myself for the way I am or was! I'm not normal! Can't you understand that Trowa? I am a freak! I hate myself for having these urges. Urges I'll never be able to satisfy. Why? Because I'm dead!"
"Duo..."
"No, you should stop being friends with me. It was good while it lasted, but I'm not worth having as a friend. I'm different..."
"So am I."
"I can't stop looking at you without fantasizing! God! What am I saying? It's not fair! I want to be a normal boy. To look at a girl and think she is sexy, but no!"
"You fantasize about me?"
"I have to think men are sexy! Shit! If my father ever found out! Why wasn't I born a girl? Why did I have to be so stupid! I hate being dead! I hate it! Hate it!"
"Duo are you even listening to me!" Trowa practically shouted. The air stilled. "Duo you're not alone. I understand, more than you realize."
"Trowa?"
"Duo, I'm not that fond of women either. At least sexually. I can't believe I'm having this conversation with a dead guy, but... Anyway. I know what you mean by trying to act normal, but I've come to the realization that I can't pretend anymore. Last year I confessed to Quatre that I had a crush on him. It nearly cost us our friendship, but we both began pretending like it didn't happen. Then I let it slip that I thought your picture was gorgeous, right in front of Quatre. The glass tower we'd built shattered. That's why I walked out that one day. We've talked about it and I've admitted I'm not interested in him anymore. He and I are going to go on being friends, but he needs some to sort out his own thoughts. I think my confession has made him reassess his own life. I don't know what will come of it, but I want to be supportive. Quatre has been and hopefully will always be my best friend. "I know that the forties and fifties were very rigid. Anything that went against what was perceived as normal, was wrong both morally and spiritually. Children born out of wedlock, divorce, abortions, homosexuality, inter-race marriages, all of that was deemed wrong and that you were an outcast if you did or were any of those. That's why you're having such a hard time accepting what you are. Even I have trouble accepting what I am and it is the dawn of the 21st century. You're not alone, not anymore."
"Trowa... Thank you. I think a part of me was hoping you understood." Duo said slowly. "I wish I'd met you fifty years ago. Then I wouldn't have been home alone on Halloween night. My parents had gone out for some sort of social event." Trowa felt something slide up next to him. A light pressure pressed on his shoulder, then wrapped itself about him in something that resembled a hug. "Thank you. For coming after me."
"Will you be going?" Trowa asked softly. "I don't know." Duo's voice was right next to his ear. The ghost was hugging him, tightly. The collar of his shirt was growing damp from Duo's tears. "I think I still have something else to do."
"Hiroshi?"
"Yeah. Listen, Halloween is coming up in a few days. I've been saving up my energy the best I can and since you and the others have been holding séances, I have more than usual. Contact with people does that to a ghost. Anyway, I want to appear to you, all of you. You'll be able to see what I used to look like and I'll be sort of solid. At least people won't be able to look through me right away."
"Some how I'll get the others over. I blew up at Catherine and Heero."
"I know. Even if they have to sneak over, see if you can get them here. I have to do this on October 31st."
"I understand."
"Thank you Trowa. Thank you for being my friend."
End Chapter 7
Tigress Pern