05 Dec 1999
I'm writing this and I have no idea why, other than that I heard The Goo Goo Dolls one time too many.
This story is dedicated to my good friend Donald, who has been there for me in my writing. Lots of love, sweetheart.
Warnings: Songfic, yaoi, Relena-As-A-Good-Guy, and no sex. <g> Set one year after the war is over.
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are not my property, nor do I intend to make any money off this fic. I also do not own "Black Balloon" by the Goo Goo Dolls. Please don't sue me, all you'll get out of me is a cat.
**Baby's black balloon makes her fly
I almost fell into that hole in your life
And you're not thinking about tomorrow
'Cause you were the same as me
But on your knees **
Relena spoke softly, more softly than most could hear, but Heero heard her. She knew he always heard her.
"It's called understanding. It's something that happens when you've been there, when you've seen all the evils of the world together, and know firsthand just how traumatic it can be to still be yourself. It's looking at someone and seeing their darkness, and then looking at yourself and seeing your own darkness, and accepting both."
"Acceptance is a beautiful thing."
Relena looked away. His arm was around her shoulders, pulling her close to kiss her forehead. Heero cupped her chin and made her look up at him. His face was cold and impassive, but his eyes ...
Oh how his eyes could laugh!
"I love you," he said simply. Relena's heart threatened to burst with joy; her smile was hardly indication enough of how happy she was. The universe had flipped upside down and set itself right all in one breath, and it so overwhelmed her that neither tears nor laughter could express it. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, to dance madly, anything to show the world how completely happy she was.
But she stood still, looking into his laughing eyes, and all she could do was smile at him, and hope he knew what she was feeling.
"The wedding's in two weeks," she whispered.
"Hai."
**A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one
I saw the world spin beneath you
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb**
"It's not what I thought I wanted," she admitted reluctantly. "I always thought I wanted ..."
"Me?" Heero finished. That laughter had finally reached his lips, tugging them up into a slight smile. "The knight in shining armor, come down from his white horse to sweep you off your feet and carry you off to make you his bride?" He chuckled, but there was no malice, no mockery. They were content with each other, and pain had no place here.
Still, Relena blushed with shame. "I know, it's silly, but I always thought that's why you came to me. I thought it was what I deserved."
He shook his head, taking her left hand in his and kissing the back of it before stroking the diamond ring that another man had placed on her ring finger. "*This* is what you deserve, Relena. Happiness."
"Thank you."
**Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And i go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer **
They walked arm in arm back to the patio table where the other four former Gundam pilots sat playing catchup. Discussing Wufei's work in the Preventers, Duo's new home on L2, Quatre and Trowa's adopted son. Rediscovering each other. Heero watched them carefully as he approached with Relena at his side.
Comrades in arms they had been, true, but never before had they realized exactly how much they actually liked each other. Under the surface of the war, where they were soldiers and not much more, there was another level, where they were actual people with needs and desires, with fears and hopes and dreams.
They were seeing each other as if for the first time. And they liked what they saw.
The pair stopped just short of the table, Heero tall and proud, Relena bursting with news. The others stopped chatting and looked at the two of them, curious.
Heero spoke. "Relena has an announcement."
**You know the lies that they always told you
And the love you never knew
What's the things they never showed you
That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room **
Perhaps they were seeing her for the first time as well. No longer chasing a child's dream, hoping for a fairy tale ending. No longer demanding. She was very much a young woman now, thougthful, intellgent, caring.
She was seeing them, as well. Quiet Trowa, seeing more than he let on, curled up beside his love, one hand on Quatre's shoulder. Quatre, warm, caring, knowing what others felt, empathic in so many ways. Wufei, honorable, loyal, intelligent, scholarly. Duo, that jester's mask he wore for so long gone now, replaced with genuine happiness, found in Heero's arms.
//There's much more to all of us than I thought// she laughed at herself.
"I'm getting married in two weeks."
**Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder **
Duo war-whooped and lept *over* the table, landing in front of a very startled Relena and sweeping her up into a tight embrace. Heero covered his eyes, trying to control his laughter, as she flung her arms around Duo's shoulders and rewarded his insane prank with a kiss on the tip of his nose.
The others were standing, much more sedatedly, and retrieving her from his embrace, hugging her themselves and offering their congratulations. Relena, Queen of the World, Duo's former rival for Heero's attentions, was getting married.
**And there's no time left for losing'
When you stand they fall
Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you grow colder
All because I'm **
Once upon a time Relena wanted to marry Heero. She followed him around the world and back again, sometimes endangering them, sometimes being a Godsend. She'd wanted a little house with two children and a dog.
It hadn't worked out that way at all. And yet, the reality was better than the dream.
Maybe Heero wasn't in passionate love with her, but he did love her now, in his own fashion, unconditionally. And she had friends. Good friends, decent human beings, boys grown to honorable men, people she would be happy to have stand up for her at her wedding.
The emotions were more genuine. The happiness was still real. //It's not the fairy tale,// she thought, //but I'll take it. Gladly, I'll take it.//
**Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go on to bring you home
All because I'm
All because I'm**
Quatre's arm around her shoulder. Duo laughing happily. Trowa and Heero, impassive faces with smiling eyes. Wufei, drinking a toast to the hostess.
They were so much to her.
**And I'll become
What you became to me**
*****
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