September 3, 2000
Hey folks! This is response to the challenge thrown out - write a Duo POV about how everyone he loves dies. I can't remember who issued the challenge! Anyway, this is my take on it - hope you like it!
Title: Don't
Author: Stormy
Part 1/1
Warning: Angst
Archive: Sure!
Don't look at me like that.
It's not what you think - that's friendship you're seeing, casual camaraderie. That's all.
Don't read anything more into it.
When I touch you on the shoulder to get your attention and leave my hand for a few extra seconds - I'm just making sure you heard me.
When I chatter incessantly, filling the air with nonsensical ramblings, it's not because I'm trying to comfort you - I'm merely trying to fill the void that's left after the mission's end. It's not 'cause I want you to pay attention to me.
Don't look like that!
I don't want to see those hard eyes soften when they turn my way. My stomach is NOT flip-flopping in anticipation when you sit next to me - that's indigestion from Quatre's latest cooking attempt.
Don't start substituting hidden smiles for those smirks you usually throw my way each time I play a trick on Wufei. I don't want to see that Perfect Soldier mask start to fade away as time passes by. I never really meant for you to see me as anything more then just a friend.
Honest.
Don't.
Don't hug me when the pain gets to be too much and I break down, crying over all the blood I've spilled, guilty or otherwise.
Don't whisper reassuringly to me when I wake in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, the echos of my terror-filled screams still ringing in the still night.
Please don't.
Because when you do, I close my eyes and I see the dead faces of everyone I've ever known and cared about march past, silently condemning me for sacrificing them to Shinigami. I deserve to rot away in misery - I don't deserve love and affection.
I don't want to lose another to the curse that hangs over my head like the ill-fated Sword of Damocles.
I don't want to lose you.
And I will. If you love me.
So don't come up behind me on silent feet as I'm morbidly cursing my existence, and the pain and suffering I bring.
Don't sit next to me, protecting me, offering me silent comfort because words aren't easily come by you.
Don't love me Heero. Because I love you. And you'll be taken away like everyone else.
Don't.
*OWARI*
Stormy