Jan 22 2001
Hi!
I really meant for this to be out a loooooooong time ago, but I forgot about it....^_~' Just found it, and thought eh, what the heck!
It's my first threesome - hints of a pwp, but with nary a hint o' lemons! Maybe not even a lime - this is pure humor and fluff! Enter my first pairing of 5x6x13 !! It makes absolutely no sense, has no point to it, and the only purpose it served was to let me embarrass Lady Une, and allow me to join the ranks of the 3-somes! *sweatdrops* Even though I chickened out - again - on any graphic actions...or actions at all...
Anyway - lemme know if ya liked it! *grins wryly* If ya don't, I understand that too...
Wufei shook his head morosely - how could he have allowed himself to be conned like this? He flexed and wriggled his arms experimentally - nope, completely tight. Damn that man. No wait - damn himself for agreeing to this in the first place.
"Oh do stop scowling, Dragon," Treize admonished the Chinese pilot. "You did say yes, after all."
"I was also drunk out of my mind at the time Treize," Wufei seethed as he watched his captor. "I never take advantage of YOU when you're drunk."
"You do too."
"I do not - *we* take advantage of Zechs," Wufei countered, a sweatdrop forming at his brow. Treize suddenly smiled.
"Oh that's right!" He patted Wufei on the shoulder and stumbled slightly as he wove around the bound boy, heading for a slumped-over heap on the bed, platinum blond strands of hair straggling out from under the covers. "Milliard - wake up!"
"Unff."
Treize paused at the grunt-like sound coming from the blankets. "Milliard?"
"....g'way....s'eepin'....*snore*" The blankets stopped their brief rustling and went still again. Wufei snickered.
"You gave him too much codeine, Treize!" he chuckled at the disappointed look on the Oz Generals face. " Now untie me."
"You'll just run away again. " Treize sat down on the plushly carpeted floor, uncaring of the glass of wine in his hand that titled to one side dangerously. " I told you had to stay here for Christmas. You agreed."
Wufei stared incredulously. " Treize - my friends saw you leap at me, throw me over your shoulder, proclaim 'Once again I've triumphed!', and then throw yourself into Epyon and fly away. They're probably tracking me down this instant!" He scowled again, blushing furiously.
"Besides, the only thing I remember agreeing to, between the Jell-O shooters and the vodka shots, was to come play Stuff Santa's Stocking!" He blinked, suddenly. " The way I remember it, I promised it to a couple of elves."
"Those 'elves' were me and Milliard," Treize sniffed. He picked up a richly brocaded pillow, and threw it at the lump on the bed. "Wake UP Zechs!"
"Whaaa~aat?" Zech's whine filtered through the blankets covering him, and a few minutes of wriggling had his tousled head peering at them blearily. " Can I not die in peace?"
"Dragon wants to go home, Milliard," Treize informed him smugly. Zech's eyes darkened, though not, Wufei thought anxiously, necessarily with anger. And just a touch of druggedness from the pain pills. The man started to move, intense gaze pinning Wufei in place even if he hadn't have been bound.
"Um, Zechs...?"
"You promised to stay!" he growled, gathering his legs beneath him to crouch upon the king-sized bed. He wobbled slightly, digging his hands into the mattress. The codeine Treize had given him to help his hangover must still be in his system, Wufei sighed mentally. Zechs looked ready to pounce. "You promised to play Stuff Santa..."
"Santa's been stuffed quite enough thank you!" Wufei shouted, kicking his feet out and holding them there to act as a buffer against Zechs. "Kisama! Untie me Treize!"
"Where did I hide the wine?" Treize mused thoughtfully, peering around the room. "That one's empty already."
"TREIZE!" Wufei howled as Zechs took a flying leap off the bed, tackling the chair-tied Wufei and sending them both sprawling. Wufei landed face-first on the floor, butt still tied to the chair, his rear end saluting the ceiling. Zechs' eyes were spiraling.
"Curse you Treize..." mumbled Wufei as he tried to push himself up with his forehead, his hands of course, still tied to the back of the chair. Treize looked over from where he had found another bottle of wine. His eyes widened at the position Wufei had found himself in.
"I knew you wanted to play," he smiled sunnily. " You're in the right position and everything!"
"'Cept the chair's in the way," Zechs pouted as he rapped his knuckles against the chair bottom to make his point. "That would hurt."
"Quite right Milliard!" Treize valiantly got to his feet, clutching and grabbing at everything he could to prevent his descent back to the floor. "Such a hindrance - it must be removed!"
Wufei 'eeped and pushed himself over sideways, landing on his hip, still in the sitting-position. He began scootching his way back towards the wall, keeping his eyes on the drunken official who was slowly but surely coming in his general direction.
"Treize, I mean it!" The young dragon gulped audibly as Treize moved closer. A sudden beeping pierced the air, and Treize paused, quirking his head to one side. Zechs looked up from his sprawled position on the floor.
"Dammit Treize, I told you to turn off that beeper!" Zechs complained loudly. Treize sniffed at him.
"I'll have you know I *did* turn it off - that was the door." He began weaving towards the front of his living quarters, muttering under his breath. " How dare they intrude on my playtime?"
"Playtime?" Wufei squeaked in outrage. "Playtime?"
His protests caught Zech's attention and he groaned out loud as he saw the OZ ace turn a decidedly hentai grin in his direction. "No Zechs! Treize! "
"Yes Zechs!" Zechs grinned, his eyes still slightly fogged from the drug. Then he considered. "And yes Treize too..."
"Nataku save me..." Wufei prayed as he began struggling harder then ever to free his arms. He yipped in pain as one cord pulled tightly against his arm, slicing a thin furrow in the previously blemish-free skin. "Kisama!"
"Really Wufei," Treize remarked as he grabbed hold of the wall to support himself while he answered the door. "Such yelps are decidedly unbecoming to a known terrorist."
"Then next time YOU get to be the one tied up, and we'll see how YOU like it!" Wufei countered furiously. Zechs' eyes brightened.
"Merry Christmas to me!" he cheered, images of naked chibi Treizes bound in tinsel and streamers being under his Christmas tree. "I've been a good pilot this year!"
Treize pushed the button that allowed him to see outside. That same button allowed the outer person to see inward. Treize, in his drunken state, neglected to remember that his clothes were somewhere in the apartment, scattered between the bathroom, the kitchenette sink, and under Zechs who had apparently decided that non-vertical was a good way to be at the moment. All in all, this gave Lady Une a sight to remember when she looked up at the screen. She gasped.
"G-General!" she sputtered. Wufei cackled at the Oz leaders forgetfulness.
"Have you no shame?!?" he howled derisively.
"Not me!" Zechs said proudly. Treize looked perplexed as though he couldn't figure out what the problem was.
"What is it, Lady?" he asked sternly.
Lady Une was blushing furiously as she tried to keep her gaze at eye level.
"W-well, uh...sir...that is..."
"Out with it Lady!" Treize waved his arms with a flourish. Zechs was grinning like a maniac. Spotting Treize's boxers on the floor near him, he reached over and grabbed them, balling them up and flinging them at the General. They hit those broad shoulders with a thwap and slid to the floor. Treize tisked and turned around.
"Behave in the Lady's presence, Zechs!" he admonished, as he bent over to pick up the offending clothing. Lady Une's eyes widened to dinner plates at the heavenly body before her, and collapsed to the floor, twin trails of blood jettisoning from her nose. Treize turned back and scratched his head at the empty monitor.
"Lady?" Oh well. He shrugged and pressed the button. Turning and heading back to Zechs and Wufei, he stopped only to grab a fresh bottle of wine, opening it up with a satisfying *pop* and pouring another glass for himself.
"I think you've had more then enough Treize," Wufei said in a pleading tone. That would be all he needed - for Zechs and Treize to both pass out from drinking, leaving him tied to the chair. His arms and legs were already killing him, but he vowed to suffer in silence. He was a Gundam pilot dammit - and the less he drew their attention towards other pursuits, the better.
"Nonsense Wufei!" Treize proclaimed as he fetched another glass. "Here you are Milliard."
"Treize - the man is high on codeine and you're giving him alcohol?" Wufei couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"Oh pish-tosh - the man has the strongest metabolism I've seen outside of reading that Po woman's findings on Heero Yuy," Treize scoffed. " Besides this was a vintage year - it would be an insult to the wine if it killed someone."
"Oh yeah - that made sense." Wufei growled - his arms were starting to go numb. "Can you please untie me? Or at least, set me upright? My circulation was cut off about three minutes ago."
"Oh yes, of course!" Treize finished pouring Zech's drink and then chugged a good part of it down himself. He staggered over to where Wufei was still in the chair, against the wall, on his side. " That must be terribly uncomfortable."
"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Wufei muttered. " Up, Treize."
"Why, Dragon! So forward!"
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!" Wufei's patience was fast approaching its limit.
"Um...General?" A weak voice came from the front room again. Treize abruptly stood up and headed for the door again. Wufei nearly cried in frustration.
"Treize!"
"Lady!" Treize greeted the wan-looking woman. "You disappeared!"
"Um yes...sir..." Lady Une clapped one hand over her eyes as she prepared to give her report. Treize scowled.
"Lady - I don't want to stare at your knuckles, " he said, crossing his arms. Lady Une twitched visibly.
"Really - Sir.."
"Lady!"
"Yes sir," she gulped and lowered her hand, eyes staring directly at Treizes nose. Treize tried to follow her gaze and wound up cross- eyed. In his drunken state, it caused him to lose his balance, and he flailed his arms wildly, trying to keep from following. His arm struck the video camera, tilting its angle downward and Lady Une wound up with a facefull of Treize's nether regions in the monitor. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she hit the ground again with a thud.
Regaining his balance, Treize looked back at the view screen, noting irritably that Lady Une had once again disappeared.
"Blasted woman!" he scoffed. "Here one minute, gone the next!"
He froze as he replayed what he just said.
"Dear god, I'm starting to sound like the Dragon!"
"Treize?" came a pleading, almost faint, begging voice from the back room. He lurched back and peered through the door.
"Dragon?"
Wufei looked to be in considerable pain, and Zechs was dozing on the floor, empty wine glass still tipped to his lips, a faint trail of red-hued liquid tracing a path down his cheek to rest somewhere behind his ear. Treize fumed.
"Trust Zechs to spill red wine on my white Persian carpet," He shook his head. Wufei's eyes were watering and Treize finally went to him and turned him upright.
"Hands... untie..." Wufei gasped. Treize looked surprised to see purple digits where tanned flesh had been before. He untied Wufei, who immediately collapsed on the ground, holding his hands out as they cramped.
"Ow! Damn you Treize!" Wufei hissed as the blood came back into his fingers along with a lot of pain. Treize looked mildly apologetic.
"I'm sorry Dragon - but it was necessary to keep you here!" Treize nodded, proud of himself. "Besides - it was Zechs' idea."
"What?" Wufei's eyes shot daggers into the mumbling blond pilot lying semi-conscious on the ground. " Injustice! I'll tie that hair of his up in pink ribbons like Relena!"
"Wufei!" Treize said sharply. "There's no need to be cruel."
Wufei considered this. "True."
"Now where were we?" Treize tapped his lip thoughtfully. "Oh yes - stocking stuffers, Santa games - Wufei." Eyes glinting, he began advancing on Wufei. Again.
Wufei sighed. "Why me?" He knew it was useless then to argue with fate.
'Besides,' he thought, as he gave into the Oz General's affections. 'when Treize and Zechs sobered up tomorrow, they'd owe him for this kind of treatment.' His own dark eyes lit up with mischief as he plotted out his revenge while Treize plundered his mouth.
'It could be worse.'
*scratches head* Ano...heh, even *I* don't quite know what to make of this...
Ah well - C&C please!
Stormy