12-Apr-2000
Errrr this is the second part in what I'm hoping to be a trilogy for the school antics theme week thingie. This kinda picks up a few months after "Starting at the Beginning"
Hmm warnings: I don't own GW but we already knew that right? A /tiny/ and I mean /tiny/ bit of shounen ai, not even what I would consider worth a warning but I'll add it anyway. Hmm
SPOILERS! Yep I go into Heero's past with that girl and the puppy and Duo' with Maxwell Church. But if you really think about, does that even count as a spoiler anymore for people are have read many GW fanfics? OKay I'm OT ::whaps self::: Hmm methinks that's all. Don't worry 1+2 fans out there, next chapter should have more action in it. And it'll be more on topic as far as the theme week goes. Have fun!
Heero was typing up a mission report when Duo burst into the room
"I got a ‘B’!!!!!" Duo cried excitedly as he thrust his paper in front of Heero’s face.
"That’s terrific Duo." Heero said, a small smile curling his lips as he clapped Duo on the shoulder. Duo smiled at him dazedly and stared down at his paper in wonderment.
"And look! She even wrote ‘A great job Duo.’ on it!" The American pointed excitedly at his paper and Heero read the note. "Ne, Heero. Let’s celebrate!" Duo said excitedly. Heero looked doubtfully over at his computer and Duo tugged on his arm. "Come on man, you can do that later. It’s a special occasion! I got a ‘B’ on a /English/ paper." Duo looked so much like a child who’d been granted three wishes; Heero couldn’t bring himself to turn Duo down like he normally would."Okay, why not. There are no missions, let’s celebrate."
"Yatta!" Duo cried as he hugged Heero quickly. Then he was dashing to his dresser and digging through one of the drawers while Heero stood in the middle of the room with a bemused expresion on his face. Duo shyly held out a brightly wrapped package, refusing to meet Heero’s eyes. "Here, in appreciation for you tutoring me." Heero took the package dubiously."Duo, I can’t accept this..."
"You can and will." The American finally looked at him with a determined look on his face. "You didn’t have to tutor me in English Heero, but you did and for that I’m grateful. This is how I show my gratitude."
"I had to tutor you so you wouldn’t draw attention to yourself." Heero persisted.
"No, if that was all that mattered, you could have easily found someone else to tutor me and saved yourself the time. You did it out of the goodness of your own heart. The heart I /know/ you have locked up there inside that stone chest of yours." Duo said grinning playfully in a way that sent odd flutters through Heero’s supposed stone chest. "Give up, it’ll be easier and quicker in the long run." Duo suggested and Heero sighed as he sat on the edge of his bed.
Duo bounced onto the bed and leaned over his shoulder, his eyes alight with anticipation. Heero slowly unwrapped the package and he smirked as he felt Duo’s hand on his shoulder tighten in frustration. With deliberation, Heero unwrapped the package and opened the box underneath it slowly. He pushed the tissue paper aside and stared down at the jacket inside the box.
"I figured you could use more then your customary spandex and tank top and since I haven’t seen you with a jacket and Christmas is just around the corner.... Consider it an early Christmas gift if you have too." Duo explained, his voice husky as he glanced furtively at Heero. Heero lifted the jacket from the box and stared at it. It was a dark slate blue in color with patches of black at the pockets and a black collar and cuffs.
"I...I..." Heero blinked, unsure of what he was supposed to say.
"What?" Duo asked, his blue-violet eyes smiling.
"Thank you." Heero said in English and Duo grinned at him.
"Well! Try it on, see if it fits!" Heero shook his head at Duo in exasperation and he stood up; he tried on the jacket. "I had to estimate on your size...so? How’s it fit?" Heero raised his eyebrows in surprise. The jacket fit remarkable well, as if it had been tailor-fitted just for him.
"Very well." Heero informed Duo and the American grinned.
"Saaa, this occasion calls for more the cafeteria food, let's go out and eat." Duo said, a whirlwind of energy once again and Heero had no choice but to go along with him. Duo swiftly stripped out of his school uniform and pulled on a pair of black jeans and a red shirt. "To get into the Christmas spirit." Duo explained and Heero nodded as he dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple white shirt. Duo pulled on his thin jacket and turned to Heero. "You ready to go?"
"Aa." Heero murmured as he pulled on his new jacket. Duo grinned happily at him and the two boys walked out of their dorm and into the bitter cold. "Maybe this wasn’t the smartest of ideas." Heero said to Duo as the wind gusted past them, undoubtably cutting right through Duo’s thin jacket. Duo pouted slightly and Heero tried to think quickly. "Let’s go back to the dorm room and I’ll order some take-out. That way we can have our own little celebration dinner without having to face this weather." Duo seemed to mull this over when another strong gust blew past them and he nodded miserably. He and Heero trudged back to their dorm and Heero used the phone downstairs to call a local restaurant that served good food. Heero nodded as he talked on the phone and Duo idly watched him. He’d had a secret crush on his partner for a long time and perhaps one of the reasons he’d been so adamant about going out tonight was that he could at least pretend he was going on something that ever remotely resembled a date with his reticent partner. Duo sighed and pouted, all his plans ruined because mother nature decided to show her nasty side on the /one/ night he’d managed to drag Heero away from his blasted computer.
"Duo, they won’t deliver in this weather." Duo’s face fell, there went his hopes for a picnic.... "But they aren’t very far away, I’ll just go pick it up real quick." Duo was about to protest. "No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine, especially with this nice new jacket you got me. Why don’t you wait up in the dorm and I’ll be back with dinner, courtesy of Oz." Heero flashed a credit card. "I hacked into a credit account last night." Heero explained with a wicked look in his cobalt colored eyes. Duo smirked and nodded.
"Okay, but be quick I’m hungry." Duo whined and Heero shook his head in exasperation once again. The Japanese boy made sure to button up his jacket and he trudged once again back out into the cold.
After Heero picked up the food, he glanced idly at the windows as he passed them. Something caught his eye and he turned to look at a beautiful leather jacket hanging in a shop window. ‘Duo’ That one word just stuck in Heero’s mind as he looked at the leather jacket. The word also brought about a wave of mixed feelings and an alien warmth. ‘Warmth?’ Heero thought frowning ‘Warmth means I like something, that I like Duo. I don’t like Duo! I hate everyone! Don’t I....?’ Heero thought about it with a small frown on his face. ‘What’s to like about that loud-mouthed baka? He’s always talking, that husky voice of his becoming a almost soothing and melodious balm...What a minute!!! I don’t /like/ him! He’s always smiling! I /hate/ eternally cheerful people, they get on my nerves. And Duo’s just the same! He tries to hide his pain behind that damned smile of his, even though he’s not always happy I’ve seen those expressively beautiful eyes of his darken with sorrow...’ Heero scowled at the innocent window, angry with himself for his unprofessional description of Duo. ‘Kuso! Well...,maybe he isn’t always happy. But the way he walks, it’s so cocky and self-assured. I don’t like it because then people stare at him, stare at the way his butt flexes when he moves...Chotto matte! How would I know about that?!?!’ Heero growled slightly. ‘Heero no baka. Heero no hentai!’ The Japanese boy berated himself as he walked into the store. ‘I hate him. I hate that ridiculous braid of his! I always want to touch it, and I hate that. Why would I want to touch a bunch of dead cells? I don’t care how shiny and soft they look! And I /hate/ it when he touches me. Why does he do that anyway? It feels weird and it does weird things to me when he touches me. I don’t like it, I can’t control it, so I /really/ don’t like that.’
"Can I help you sir?" Heero glanced up from his silent argument and looked at the saleswoman.
"Yes, I’d like that jacket right there." Heero indicated the leather jacket and the woman’s eyes widened slightly
"Certainly, would you like to try it on and see if it fits?"
"It’s not for me, it’s for my friend." Heero said shortly.
"Well is...she close to your size?" The saleswoman asked non-plussed by Heero’s behavior.
"My friend is a male, and yes he’s close to my size."
"Well then why don’t you try it on and see if it fits you. If it does, then it should fit him."
"Fine." Heero shed his own jacket and pulled on the leather jacket. It was a little too snug in the shoulders, but he was a lot more bulky in the shoulders then Duo. So the jacket should fit him perfectly. "It’ll do." Heero looked at the sleeves of the jacket and discovered the lining was white and that it unzipped to nearly the elbow.
"That’s for when the weather gets a little bit too hot, the wearer can unzip the sleeves and roll them up." The saleswoman said as she noticed Heero’s scrutiny.
"I see." Heero said softly ‘Just like Duo does with that silly priest’s shirt he always wears.’ Heero thought silently as he paid for the jacket using the credit card.
"Thank you, and I hope your friend enjoys his jacket."
"Aa, Merry Christmas." Heero said automatically as he walked out of door with the jacket box under one arm and the food in his other hand. ‘I don’t like that baka.’ Heero thought as he walked down the street towards their dorm. ‘I don’t like him, I’m just getting him a Christmas gift since he got me one. And he definitely needs a new jacket.’ Heero rationalized as he walked up to their room. Heero kicked the door since he couldn’t knock. "Duo, open up." Heero growled and the American opened the door.
"What’s that?" Duo asked indicating the box as he took the food.
"A surprise for after dinner." Heero said mysteriously, knowing that curiousity would eat Duo alive.
"Meanie." Duo pouted as he laid the food out. "Well let’s eat! I’m starving." Heero sat down on the floor between his and Duo’s bed while Duo sat down opposite of him. "To our first Christmas together." Duo said raising his can of soda and Heero raised his as well. "And hopefully our last as Gundam pilots." Duo whispered softly and Heero nodded solemnly as he ate his food. For a few minutes, Duo was silent but then he started an animated one-sided conversation with Heero for the rest of the meal. Once the containers were thrown into the trash, Duo turned to Heero; his eyes alight with curiosity. "Sooooo, what’s in the box? Did ya pick up a game or something for us to pass the time?" Duo asked as Heero sat on his bed. ‘Boy could /I/ think of some games I’d like to play with Heero.’ Duo grinned at his hentai thoughts and plopped down next to Heero. The Japanese boy shook his head and handed Duo the box.
"It’s for you. Consider it /your/ early Christmas present." Duo’s eyes widened and he opened the box.
"Oh...." Duo’s mouth worked but no words came out and he looked at Heero in disbelief.
"Heh, who’d have thought Duo Maxwell could be struck speechless." Heero murmured dryly and Duo blinked.
"Why you!" Heero smirked and jumped to his feet.
"Well try the stupid thing on." Heero instructed pulled Duo to his feet. Duo pulled the jacket from the box and stroked it lightly.
"It must have cost a fortune." Duo whispered in awe and Heero’s smirk widened.
"Yeah, someone at Oz is going to have a lot of explaining to do." Duo laughed and tried the jacket on.
"Ano...aren’t they going to track all these spendings back to here?"
"Doesn’t matter, we’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow."
"Oh." Duo said, crestfallen.
"What?" Heero asked confused.
"Well...that’s Christmas and to be honest, I kinda liked it here." Duo admitted softly not looking up to meet Heero’s eyes
"Duo...." Heero said uncomfortably.
"Yeah I know, we have to move around so we don’t get caught. And I know we’re not supposed to make attachments. I’ve heard it all before." Duo sighed, his bangs dripping into his eyes.
"Aa, you wouldn’t want these innocents hurt because of our mistakes would you?" Heero asked. "That’s not the kind of guilt you want to live with Duo." Duo looked up in surprise at the old pain he sensed in Heero’s voice. But the Japanese pilot had his back to him, looking out the window.
"You talk like you know this as a fact."
"I do." Heero admitted quietly.
"Yeah, me too." Heero glanced over his shoulder at Duo.
"You do?" Duo nodded and shed the jacket, laying it across his desk chair as he walked over to where Heero was standing. He laid his hand on Heero’s shoulder as he looked out the window. "Who did you kill?" Duo sighed and leaned against the wall next to the window.
"A lot of innocent people, you probably don’t wanna hear about it."
"You don’t want to talk about it." Heero observed. "It’s understandable, I don’t like talking about my past either. But at the same time it keeps eating a hole inside of me. If that makes any sense. It’s all the guilt you know." Duo blinked and looked at his partner in surprise.
"Yeah I do actually." Heero turned from the window and lay down on his bed and stared at the ceiling.
"I killed a little girl." Heero murmured into the still air that had filled the room. Duo looked at him sharply, not expecting him to speak. He nearly spoke Heero’s name but didn’t because he could see the distant look in the Japanese boy’s eyes. "It was my first mission. I met her the afternoon of my mission. I’d just set some explosives and I’d successfully escaped from the base when she came across me as I was lying down looking up at the sky. She was only about eight and she had a little puppy named Mary." Heero reached under his pillow and pulled out a book Duo had never seen before. Duo pushed away from the wall and sat down on the edge of Heero’s bed as the Japanese boy smiled self-deprecatingly. "She asked me if I was lost and I told her I’d been lost since I’d been born. She said she was sorry for me and said she wasn’t lost, she was walking her dog. Then she gave me a flower and ran off with her puppy." Heero thumbed through the book and pressed between two pages was a dried yellow flower. Duo stared at the flower in shock.
"Is that....Is that it?"
"Yes." Heero answered shortly and he slammed the book shut. "That night after I destroyed the base, a mobile suit fell onto a residental building." Duo gasped softly. "The next day I dug through the rubble and I found part of her sundress and her dead puppy. I don’t know what I was thinknig, but I just stood there and I couldn’t move. Then I picked the puppy up and went back to report to Doctor J. They were more angry with my break in character then the death of that little girl." Heero looked over at Duo and his eyes were bright with anger. "They didn’t want such emotions as kindness in their perfect soldier so they retrained me."
"Looks like they failed." Duo noted and Heero looked at him sharply.
"What do you mean?"
"If they had succeeded in killing off all of you emotions, you wouldn’t feel like this. And you wouldn’t have gone out of your way to help me with English." Duo reached out his hand and laid it on Heero’s chest. "You’ve got a heart Heero, it’s just well hidden." Duo’s smile was sweet as Heero looked at him with a troubled look on his face. Duo turned around and looked at the opposite wall.
"I killed Father Maxwell and all those people at the Maxwell church." Duo whispered.
"Maxwell church...I’ve heard of that somewhere." Heero murmured.
"Yeah, they were slaughtered by the Alliance soldiers. It was my fault they got killed though, I stole a mobile suit and they retaliated." Heero’s eyes narrowed and he moved so he was sitting next to Duo.
"Sounds like we’ve both got shadows in our past." Heero noted and Duo nodded; his eyes dry and barren. "We’d better be careful or we’ll end up as cold and heartless as Oz or the Doctors." Heero’s voice wavered a bit when he said that.
"Yeah." Duo looked over at Heero. "How about we keep each other sane and human?" Duo offered. "At least until this war is over." Heero looked over at Duo and the American smiled slightly and laid an arm around his shoulders
"Okay." Heero agreed.
"Oi, thanks Heero." Duo suddenly blurted out. "For everything tonight, for the jacket, helping me with English and for talking to me. It’s been a while since I had anyone I could really talk to."
"But you talk all the time Duo." Heero said confused.
"Yes I do, but I mean /really/ talk. As in say what I really thinking, and not have to worry about people not understanding. How many people at this school do you think I could have told that to and have them understand? Probably none of them. But you know what it’s like. You’ve felt it too. That coldness inside your soul when you fight that threatens to completely consume you. You need it in order to be a soldier and survive, but it’s still a terrible feeling." Heero swallowed. He /did/ understand what Duo was talking about and he found himself nodding. They talked long into the night and near dawn, as they lay next to each other in Heero’s bed, Duo reached over and grabbed Heero’s hand sleepily. "Ne Heero, let’s keep each other warm so we don’t let that coldness take us completely over." Duo whispered just before he drifted off to sleep. Heero cracked open a cobalt colored eye and looked over at Duo.
"Only if you promise to help me keep my soul." Heero muttered sleepily and Duo squeezed his hand.
"Ninmu Ryoukai."
~owari~
Sheira