05-Nov-2000
Category: yaoi, yuri, a parody of sorts. It's insane, what can I say? Rating: NC-17 for language, and kinky stuff
Pairings: 1x2, Dx2 (?!), RXDX2 (?!?!?!)
Archive: It's in http://kiss.to/duo
Disclaimer: (howls at the full moon) !$*#*@*$!!!!!!!! I don't own GW!
Duo was busily working on his Deathscythe in the hangar because of the beating it took during their last mission. He wiped a trickle of sweat on his brow, then attacked the wires of the controls.
"Just a few more twists and turns, and a little more banging up here and there, and I'll be done," the braided pilot muttered cheerfully to himself.
"Duo!" Quatre hollered. "There's a message for you!"
The Deathscythe pilot glanced up from his task, then tilted his head in wonder. I wonder what's up.
"Ah, Duo," Professor G greeted him. "New mission."
"A solo mission?"
The Professor nodded. "Affirmative. You'll be leaving for Sank at exactly 24 hours."
Duo just nodded, then, his violet eyes bulged in shock. "S-s--ssSank?!?!?!??!?!??!?" he sputtered, like he swallowed a cockroach or something.
Oh no. His worst nightmare had finally come true. No, NO! This was unthinkable, this was insane, this was horrible beyond imagination... this was... WHAT THE HELL'S HE GONNA DO IN SANK?!?!?
Professor G continued, oblivious to his pilot's inner turmoil. "You are going to protect Relena Peacecraft from a suspected assassin."
The Deathscythe pilot wanted to cry, or do something to unleash the war inside his battered soul... instead, like the soldier he was, he managed to ask, if rather pitifully, "Why me?"
O~kay. It was very pitiful. Who could blame the guy?
"Because," the old man chirped, "a group of her personal bodyguards were suspected to have been planning her death, so you must protect her."
Duo growled, his fingers grasping his jagged bangs tightly. "Professor," he began. Much as the ol' Professor's been so nice to him and all that, he couldn't help wishing being able to strangle the old man. Drat it all, but, "Why me?" he howled.
The Professor looked at him thoughtfully, then replied, "Because you're the only one who could pull off undercover missions without getting discovered. Can you imagine the others, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre and Heero dressed up as females? Hah!" he chortled.
At the mention of Heero dressed up as a female, Duo turned slightly red. Damn, that's the best sight ever, he thought to himself, remembering one hot night in the arms of a lingerie-clad Wing pilot.
"Well," the old man said, considering an idea, "Quatre might pull it off, but you're better, and more practical. Anyway, you're to make friends with Relena Peacecraft, get close enough and always stay by her side. Take note, you should do this discretely, because that girl's been throwing tantrums at the new bodyguards that had been assigned to her."
"Why go undercover?" the braided teenager asked, curiosity getting the better of him. "Really, Professor, why all the precaution and all that? Why can't she know?"
Professor G cleared his throat first, then answered, "The other doctors and I had concluded that perhaps it's that time of the month, and for some reason she hates being followed around by her guards."
Duo blinked. Then, "I can't really get out of this now, can I?" he asked dryly.
The Professor became chipper again. It's quite scary. "Nope!"
He was about to shut down the laptop, when the old man spoke again, "Oh, and another thing, Duo."
"What?"
"You have to undergo a sex change."
Duo immediately passed out on the floor.
Two days later...
"HEERO!!!"
The Wing pilot blinked at the sound. No. Not again...
"HEERO!!!"
Heero's skin crawled, but his stoic facade never gave away his feeling of dread.
"HEERO!!!" Then someone glomped him, hard.
He didn't have to look.
"Heero," Relena cooed, "I've found you again."
"Omae o korosu," he said, in his most menacing tone, hoping against hope that she'd take the hint and--
"Oh, Heero. Kill me," the blond replied playfully.
Or not. Shit.
The Perfect Soldier was thinking of ways to erase the persistent girl from the face of the universe, when he heard someone clear her throat.
"Um, Relena?" a breathy voice asked, with an accent.
Heero's eyes widened. The voice sounded familiar, but... no.
"Oh!" Relena exclaimed. "How improper of me! Heero, meet my new friend, Corrine Beau-afleur. Corrine, meet Heero Yuy."
The dark-haired boy turned, then met lovely violet eyes.
DUO?
He knew that his lover was currently on a mission, but he didn't know the exact details--and anything at all. He tried prying the information out of his loud-mouthed baka of a koi, but miraculously, Duo Maxwell didn't even breathe a word out. Heero raised an eyebrow, eyeing the offered graceful hand.
"Bonjour," Corrine greeted him shyly, her sexy voice and slight French accent sending bolts of electricity through him. "I'm Corrine. It's a pleasure to meet you, Monsieur Yuy."
The Japanese pilot stared for a few moments, then slowly took the new girl's hand. "Nice meeting you, too," he muttered.
Relena, sensing nothing amiss, smiled triumphantly and said to the pair, "I'll be back in a second, Corri-chan, I'll just tell the driver to come back after an hour."
"Oui," Corri-chan replied, her eyes never leaving the Wing pilot, "mais s'il vous plait se depeche." Yes, but please do hurry.
The Queen of the World blinked in confusion, then recovered herself fast enough. "Uhm, yes, sure, Corrine," she said, then went ahead.
Bet she didn't know what that means!
Heero Yuy was bewildered.
This Corrine looks like Duo, but--she's so different and, well... female, he finished off lamely.
"Est-ce que le jour est agreable, est-ce que ce n'est pas?" the chestnut-haired girl regarded him with a friendly smile, an expectant look on her lovely face. The day is nice, isn't it?
The Wing pilot was nearly overwhelmed. Damnit! I have to remember that crash course in French I took years back... "Uh... oui, tres agreable," he replied, his accent a bit clipped and slightly awkward. Yes, very nice.
Corrine's violet eyes widened prettily, then she chuckled, her hand covering her mouth daintily. "I see that you understand me perfectly well, Monsieur Yuy."
"It's Heero. You may call me Heero."
"Then Heero it is."
Duo Maxwell was sure the day was cursed.
First, he had to tail Relena all the time, meaning for him to be able to do that, he had to be super close with the blond brat.
Second, they encountered Dorothy Catalonia, who was giving him suspiciously hungry stares.
The second one almost scared the crap out of him, and when they were about to leave, the taller girl shook his hand way too long for his own comfort.
He couldn't believe that Dorothy was into girls!
Then, Relena had to drag him to see Heero.
Well, that wasn't really a bad thing, ne? After all, he missed the dark-haired boy who introduced him French kissing, and well... other things. Duo tingled at the thought, a stupid smile on his face.
"Corrine?" prodded a nasal voice.
Duo blinked up at Heero, batting his eyelashes coyly. He smiled demurely, then lowered her--his gaze. "Hmm... yes, Heero?"
The Wing pilot appeared dumbstruck, and Duo was in heaven. Flirting with Hee-chan is so fun!
"HEERO!!" came the oh-so-familiar piercing holler.
Dorothy Catalonia couldn't believe her luck. First, she just met the sexiest creature on the face of the planet, and now Relena was taking her to see the same person--the lovely Corrine Beau-afleur.
It was nice of Relena to take me to her despite our bet...
She wasn't really into females, but she often disdained male company. She found the opposite sex dumb and untrustworthy, and female company... well, Relena's her only female company, so she would just have to say--
"HEERO!!"
The blond girl winced. Noisy. And irritating.
But now that she had met Corrine, everything had changed for the hardened, war-hungry Dorothy. Perhaps she was in love?
Why is it that Corrine has to be so beautiful?
"Ena-chan... Dorothy. Bonjour," Corrine greeted them with a smile.
Dorothy smiled back at Corrine, drinking up the chestnut-haired sight.
Corrine... no! I love Duo! Duo...
"HEERO!!"
Shimatta! Heero whirled around to face the annoying newcomer...
Make that newcomers, and the taller, curvier blond was only staring at Corrine with such fire he was tempted to fan himself--in his green tank top and spandex shorts.
The Japanese boy's cobalt-blue eyes narrowed, then realization shot him.
Could it be... ? Dorothy's interested in Corrine?
"Ena-chan... Dorothy. Bonjour!"
"Hello, Corrine... Heero," Dorothy acknowledged, raising one forked eyebrow.
Relena, still oblivious at the tension that seemed to radiate between Heero and Dorothy, beamed. "Isn't this lovely? The four of us mingling together!"
Lovely... my ass.
"Oui, oui. Lovely, indeed," Corrine agreed.
Heero glared at Relena.
Relena glomped Heero.
Corrine squirmed.
Dorothy was trying to get her hands inside Corrine's skirt.
Heero glared at Dorothy.
Snort. Oui, oui lovely indeed!
"Why did I even say that?" Corrine muttered under her breath.
"What did you say, Corrine?" Dorothy asked, leaning so closely towards the French girl.
Corrine smiled weakly, trying to avoid the blonde's hot breath on her sensitive ear. As she moved further away from Dorothy, the closer Dorothy moved, and she got bolder.
Blue eyes staring at the chestnut-haired beauty eagerly, Dorothy slid up her right hand up Corrine's back, feeling through the fabric of her dress, and lingered teasingly at the snap of her bra.
That got Corrine distracted--if she wasn't already by the blonde's intense gaze--and she didn't know what to do.
What's Dorothy doing? Corrine wondered. She closed her eyes as Dorothy's hand applied more pressure on the snap of her bra, sending a warm tingle through her. The feeling was different, but, she had to admit, wonderful. She'd never felt like this before.
Dorothy Catalonia observed the girl before her, and smiled. Corrine had her eyes closed, and her moist lips were slightly parted, treating Dorothy with a tempting view of her wet, raspberry tongue.
I wonder how that would taste like. Only one way to find out.
She advanced on Corrine, taking the moist lips and sliding her tongue inside, and simultaneously slid her left hand inside the girl's skirt.
Corrine whimpered, then moaned as she felt Dorothy's hand stroking her thighs. Her legs tightened around the hand, even as she willed herself to push the other girl off her. She was slowly losing control.
Duo didn't know what to do. He found that he liked the sensations that coursed through his body--his different female body. It was very unique from being in his male form, mainly because he found out that he was more sensitive and, yes, susceptible to sensual advances. It was expected, according to Professor G, since the old prof warned him of some side effects.
"The drug that will cause the sex change has some... aphrodisiac properties. I don't know how much, but be careful."
Blast it.
"Corri-chan!"
Quickly, Dorothy jumped off him, adjusting her skirts and pasting a smile. "Relena-sama," Dorothy acknowledged.
Relena smiled at them as if she didn't see anything. "I'm going to take Dorothy with me to buy some ice cream. Do you mind?"
"No," he croaked, then blushed. He cleared his throat first, then repeated his reply, "No. I don't mind."
"Dorothy?"
The said girl's eyes narrowed at Relena, then she nodded.
"We'll be right back, Corri-chan!"
Duo nodded. "Take your time." And don't come back!
He sighed, and then he felt eyes boring down on him. Turning, he saw Heero staring at him expressionlessly, cobalt-blue eyes hard and blank.
Duo could do nothing else but blush in shame.
As the two were far enough to be beyond earshot, Relena pushed Dorothy's shoulder and snarled, "What were you doing?!?! Are you insane? We had a bet!"
"Yes, we did," Dorothy replied, a sneer forming on her mouth. "But you were too busy with your Heero to guard the prize--did you really expect me to keep my hands off Corrine?"
"Shut up! I saw her first and she's mine!" Relena screamed.
Dorothy shook her head. "No, I don't think so. If you were paying close attention, I'm already into A going to C with Corrine, while you haven't gotten into the preliminaries of A!"
Relena snorted loudly--so much for being some princess! "You've forgotten something."
"And what is that?"
"Corrine and I sleep in the same room. It's easy to get to C."
"Relena, don't you even dare--!"
"I won't force her, Dorothy," she said sweetly. "Of course she's going to comply, after all, I'm already Ena-chan to her."
"Why you--!"
"You ruined the bet, Dorothy. Now there's no bet, and I am going to have her!"
Dorothy seethed in anger. "The bet was useless. We both know that you can't make Heero Yuy speak more than ten words to you, and we both know that I can't seduce Treize-sama because he and your brother are attached at the hip already! Now what kind of a bet was that?!?!"
There was a pause, then, "Yeah. It was a useless bet."
"Stupid, too," Dorothy added.
"Let's just get some ice cream. They might get suspicious."
So, Corrine and Dorothy are... together, Heero thought with a sinking feeling that he couldn't understand. He knew that he shouldn't be feeling this way, because he loved Duo with his whole heart and soul--or what's left of them, anyway. He just couldn't believe that a girl so feminine as Corrine would--no, scratch that. Dorothy seemed feminine, too, right?
Just then, Corrine turned, catching him staring at her. Her face turned red, and she bowed her head low, her violet eyes downcast in shame. A part of him went out to the girl, but then...
Damn it, Duo. Where the hell are you?
Oh shit. So now Heero thinks I'm a big lesbian slut. What am I supposed to do? I get so turned on by simple touches... oh Hee-chan please help me with this.
"WE'RE BACK!"
Duo had the air knocked out of his lungs. Somebody was glomping him really tight. He shifted his head to look, then caught the color of his glomper's hair.
Darker blond. K'so! What the hell's Relena doing?!?!?!
Heero's eyes went wide. What the--?
Relena was attached to a befuddled Corrine, while Dorothy was glaring fireballs at her.
"Relena, get off her!" Okay, screw the -sama. Peacecraft's really going to get it this time! "Or you're going to regret it!"
"Really?" Relena purred venomously. She scowled, then shrieked, "CORRI-CHAN'S MINE!"
"NO! CORRINE'S MINE!"
"MINE!"
"NO MINE!"
"MINE!"
Relena and Dorothy glared at each other, and soon they were rolling on the pavement, pulling each other's hair while still screaming at the top of their lungs.
"MINE!"
"NO MINE!"
"CORRI-CHAN'S MINE!"
"SHE'S MINE!"
Corrine sat at the concrete bench, violet eyes wide at the ensuing cat fight... she winced as she heard fabric getting ripped, and more shrieks. She sighed, then she felt a hand grasp her arm. She looked up, and found Heero gazing at her.
"Come on. This might get even dirtier," he said gruffly.
She nodded, and let the Japanese boy lead her away from the scene.
The two found themselves in a garden, far away from the center of the park.
It was also where lovers go at sunset, because there was ample cover from unwanted viewers.
Corrine spoke up first, "Heero, I--"
"I'll leave you here, because I have to get home and--"
"Please Heero, don't leave me here... "
"I have to go."
"Wait! I have to tell you something! Please, just wait!"
Heero stopped, and turned. "Okay. Make it fast."
"Heero," she began, violet eyes looking up at the stoic boy. She sighed, clueless as to how else she was going to say what she wanted to say. She blinked, "Heero, I--" then she grabbed him and pressed her moist lips on his.
Heero Yuy stood still for a full minute, then gently pushed her away.
"Heero?" she gasped, her eyes glazed with tears.
"I already have someone else," he said, then started to walk away.
Corrine glared at his retreating back, then yelled, "Heero no baka!"
The Japanese pilot whirled around, about to deliver his patented glare and his favorite line, omae o korosu, when he saw Corrine standing there, her back towards the setting sun. The fading sunshine cast golden highlights on her chestnut brown hair, as the wind drifted leisurely by.
Suddenly, he remembered, and took the few steps between them.
Corrine's eyes widened at Heero's unexpected action, then smiled gloriously as he took her in his muscled arms, crushing her in a warm hug.
flashback
The two found themselves in the hangar, with Wing and Deathscythe looming above them.
Duo spoke up first, "Heero, I--"
"I have to fix Wing and--"
"Please Heero, I... "
"I have to go."
"Wait! I have to tell you something! Please, just wait!"
Heero stopped, and turned. "Okay. Make it fast."
"Heero," he began, violet eyes looking up at the stoic boy. He sighed, clueless as to how else he was going to say what he wanted to say. He blinked, "Heero, I--" then he grabbed him and pressed his moist lips on his.
Heero Yuy stood still for a full minute, then gently pushed him away.
"Heero?" he gasped, his eyes glazed with tears.
He began to walk away.
Duo glared at his retreating back, then yelled, "Heero no baka!"
The Japanese pilot whirled around, about to deliver his patented glare and his favorite line, omae o korosu, when he saw Duo standing there, his back towards the setting sun. The fading sunshine cast golden highlights on his chestnut brown hair, as the wind drifted leisurely by from the wide open doors.
end flashback
"Baka," Heero said softly, kissing Duo's ear. "You almost had me going there."
Duo chuckled. "How did you know?"
"I don't know... something about you, Duo. Maybe it was your hair... I remembered when we first got together. The sun was shining on your hair like so, and I--"
"And you fucked me silly afterwards," Duo concluded for him.
"Aa."
The longhaired teenager laughed, violet eyes glittering up at his koi. "Aren't you going to fuck me silly now?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "The sun's almost set... and I've always wondered how it would be, you know, suspended on a bamboo tree... "
"Duo no baka!"
The Deathscythe pilot chortled, then dropped a butterfly kiss on Heero's nose. "I was just kidding, Hee-chan."
Heero glared at him, then untangled himself from their cozy embrace.
Duo blinked in confusion. "Heero?"
"What the hell were you doing with Dorothy?" he seethed, jealousy eating away his Perfect Soldier seams.
The violet-eyed boy flushed crimson, then whispered his reply, "It was the aphrodisiac, I--"
"What did you say? I didn't hear you."
Duo turned even redder. "It was the aphrodisiac in the drug that was injected to me for the sex change. Professor G told me that it's not dangerous, but... well--"
"You mean you've been walking around...?" Heero couldn't believe his ears.
"...fucking horny all day," Duo finished for him.
Heero smiled.
Duo blinked. "Uh... Hee-chan?"
The Japanese boy took him roughly into his arms again, tightening his hold around the lean body against him, and pressing himself very firmly against Duo. He smirked when he saw his lover's jaw drop, and those orgasm-inducing violet eyes glazed over.
Meanwhile...
"NO! CORRINE'S MINE!"
"MINE!"
"NO MINE!"
"MINE!"
The two blondes rolled off the pavement onto the grass, their hair resembling a bird's nest trampled over by a gundam, and their faces were smudged with dirt and bruises. Neither one wanted to give up.
"MINE!"
"NO MINE!"
"MINE!"
"CORRI-CHAN'S MINE!"
The sound of tearing fabric stopped their blind squabble. Dorothy looked down at her skirt.
"That's the seventh skirt you've ripped, Relena!" she complained, the anger from her eyes gone, and instead of continuing their brawl, the Peacecraft fussed over Dorothy's ripped skirt, her rapidly warming hands everywhere.
Dorothy got suspicious as Relena's hand unnecessarily strayed higher up her uncovered thighs. She smirked.
Relena's gotten horny again.
She moaned audibly as the hand took on an irregular pace, brushing lightly and pinching her sensitive spot randomly. "Want to claim that as yours? Just for the meantime."
Relena stopped and looked at Dorothy, her blue eyes questioning. Then, a dainty smile crossed her painted lips. "This is... the 8th meantime, isn't it?"
"Mm-hmm."
The Peacecraft pulled Dorothy up, standing and brushing the dirt from their clothes. "The limo has arrived several minutes ago. Let's go somewhere more private."
"Good idea."
As they walked toward the parking lot, Relena just couldn't help but quip, "I just wish we can have a threesome!"
"Heero. I know that look in your eyes... "
"Hn."
The Japanese boy hauled him towards the shade of a hulking tree that was surrounded by the wildest and thickest of shrubs. Heero sat on a large and stable stone bench, with Duo straddling his hips, his left arm wrapped across Duo's skirt-covered butt, while his right hand was busy making its way inside his lover's skirt.
Duo gasped again as Heero stroke his female body's mound through the black lace panties that he was wearing. "Heero, oh my god stop that! Stop--!" he squeaked, then moaned as his lover's fingers slipped inside one leg of his underwear, stroking his moist heat. "Heero!"
Those fingers moved rhythmically, tantalizing him further. His violet eyes were shut tight now, and he was also moving his crotch against his lover's hand. "Unh Heero what the hell do you think you're do~ing?" he moaned, his husky voice a cross between agony and pleasure.
When Heero felt Duo moving against him, he smirked against Duo's firm round breasts. He wondered what would happen if he and Duo made love under his present condition--he was really aroused at the idea, and he was so hard it hurt so much.
He pulled Duo's body lower so that his erection pressed against the heated wetness between Duo's thighs. He was awarded with one of those sexy moans yet again as he concentrated on opening his lover's shirt and unsnapping his black lace bra.
"Duo... let me."
Duo shook his head in negation, even as he trembled with wanting. "Heero, you know we shouldn't--"
"Why?"
Violet eyes widened in disbelief. "You're asking me why? Heero, what if I get pregnant?!" he cried indignantly. "I sure as hell can't--OH!" Duo shrieked, eyes falling shut as his lover's hot mouth surrounded his left breast. He knew they shouldn't do it. Heck, what sane Gundam pilot would want to fight mobile suits with a bulging stomach? He'd even have a hard time getting into the cockpit! "Heero, stop... stop that please... "
"Duo... "
Tears of frustration lingered in the violet depths of his eyes. He wanted this so badly, and his passion for Heero coupled with the aphrodisiac making it so hard for him to say no. Still, even highly aroused and almost mad with wanting... "Heero... the mission. Please stop," he gasped out as the Wing pilot began bucking against him, both of them still fully clothed. He groaned. "Heero... "
Suddenly Heero stopped, breathing heavily. Duo was disappointed, but also relieved beyond measure. He was disappointed because he couldn't think of anything that he'd wish for at that very moment but for Heero to take him then and there. Yet he was relieved that he wouldn't have to fear getting accidentally knocked-up if ever he could really get knocked-up--he's a guy for Shinigami's sake!
Heero showered little kisses on Duo's face. "I'm sorry," he murmured over and over.
Duo quickly dismounted Heero, then sat at the edge of the bench an arm's length away. "It's okay, Heero. Thank you for stopping," he said, taking deep calming breaths.
"No. You're right. We shouldn't; not now, and not like this."
He nodded.
The two sat away from each other, trying their best to get their raging hormones back in their control.
"So, did they do it?"
"No."
"HAH! I told you they wouldn't!"
Doctor J grumbled, annoyed at Professor G. "Shut up, mushroom baka."
Professor G just snorted. "They're too trained on the mission, J. Besides, they've got a point... "
"If only you dropped 02 a hint that he wouldn't get pregnant--"
"Oh come on, J. The mission, remember? Duo still hasn't finished his mission."
"But they're so fun to watch!" Doctor J howled.
Professor G just looked at his comrade.
"I guess I owe you a cheeseburger--"
"With fries and mashed potatoes and gravy and--"
"Yeah yeah just shut up right now."
"So, was that fun?" Relena asked Dorothy.
"Mmm... it was definitely better than the last one."
"Don't you think it would've been better with Corri-chan? We could all fit into the bathtub... "
"I know. Don't remind me, Relena. When is she coming back, anyway?"
Relena froze. Oh no. "Uh, Dorothy? I think we left her in the park."
Dorothy also froze. "No... "
Suddenly the door opened, making the two jolt.
A blushing Corrine greeted their line of vision.
"Um... " she sputtered, "I'll come back later--"
Dorothy stopped her. "No wait!" she said, as she jumped out of bed.
Corrine's eyes widened even more. Dorothy was advancing towards her naked.
"Really," Corrine said as she moved backwards. "It's okay I'll just come back later and ummph!"
Dorothy crashed against her, devouring her mouth and cutting off her words. The two fell on the carpeted floor, with Dorothy on top.
Relena came up to them, a smirk on her mouth. "Make room for me, Dorothy."
Dorothy complied, reversing her position with Corrine.
The Peacecraft's smirk widened into a smile. Dorothy already had Corrine's blouse open and was making suckling noises. She could just imagine. Finally she knelt down, Corrine's fabric-covered ass right before her.
"Doro-chan, I guess we're gonna have a threesome after all."
"Wh--what the hell are you two doing?!" Corrine shrieked, then it was followed by a groan. "Dorothy!"
The blond in question giggled, wet mouth still closed over one round breast, sending a jolt of electricity through Corrine's spine.
"NO!"
A week after...
"I'm glad that mission's over and done with!" Duo announced to no one in particular. And am I elated that I'm out of those girls' clutches! Man, I thought I was done for! Good thing somebody chose that time to attempt assassinating Relena. Mission accomplished. He made a beeline to the refrigerator, where he rummaged for pieces of ham, cheese, tomatoes and lettuce to go with his giant sandwich concoction for the day. Piling up the meat, he looked up when he heard the back door swing open, revealing a slightly mussed Chang Wufei fresh from his latest mission.
"So, Wu-man. How'd your mission go?"
"So, Maxwell. How'd your mission go?"
Duo glared at Wufei. "I asked you first."
"Why won't you answer?"
Duo didn't speak.
"I thought so. If you're not up to talking about your own mission, then I sure as hell not up to talking about mine. Good day, Maxwell." With that the Chinese teenager sauntered across the kitchen, opened the kitchen door leading to the dining room, and went up to his room.
"Stupid Wu-chan thinks he's so--"
"Oh there you are, Duo."
The braided pilot whirled to see Quatre and Trowa come inside the kitchen. "Hi, guys."
"I bought some mustard two days ago. It's in the other cupboard if you want it."
"Thanks, Q."
As Duo went back to rummaging and rousing a relative storm in the kitchen, the Sandrock pilot couldn't shake off the weird vibes that he was getting from the braided boy. Sure, Duo's still the same--Quatre couldn't place his finger on it--Duo, but something wrong definitely happened.
"So," Duo began as he wolfed down the first level of his giant sandwich. "Heero on a mission?"
Trowa nodded.
Man, Trowa is just so helpful sometimes.
Quatre almost smiled at the frustration in Duo's eyes. "He said the mission will probably take two days more."
Duo just nodded, then proceeded to destroy his sandwich's second level.
Two days later...
"Heero you're back!"
"Hn."
"Uh... okay, Heero. I know that look in your eye... mmph!"
"Hn."
"Heero what are you doing?! Get that syringe away from me--Heero!!"
"Stay still. You don't want me injecting the wrong dosage."
"Heero what the hell is that?!?! Damn it what's that?!"
"I'm just finishing unfinished business."
"Heero... what the--"
Several hours later...
"Heero, you baka. Are you sure I won't get knocked-up?" Duo said, worry evident in his female voice.
"Shut up baka."
"But... "
"There was ample data that you will not get pregnant, Duo."
"But Heero, where did you get that stuff? Professor G couldn't have... "
"None of the doctors did. I found it on the net."
"And... you bought it?"
"I searched for it and broke into the place. Now shut up."
"But how--"
"Duo."
"Yes?"
"Omae o korosu."
"Mmm... I know you mean that differently--mmph!"
And somewhere in the colonies...
"Pass the popcorn, S."
"Here. Don't you dare finish it all off, G."
"Shut up you bastards I'm trying to watch!" Doctor J complained.
It was then that Howard came into the dimly-lit room. "Oh hey, guys!" he boomed loudly, as loud as his neon green Hawaiian shirt.
"SSSHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" the five scientists shushed him.
Howard looked confused, then he saw what the others were watching. "A new smut film? How many X's?" he asked, making himself comfortable between Doctor S and Professor G.
"Damn it, G, get your ugly head outta my face!" Doctor J wailed.
"SSSHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" the other four scientists, plus Howard, shushed him.
A few minutes passed by, the performers on the TV were now getting noisier.
"Don't you just love the sound of 02?" Doctor H said.
Howard blinked. 02?
"I told you G. You should have dropped him a hint about not getting pregnant when you first injected that drug in him. We could have recorded them doing it in the park... but placing the data on the net for 01 to find was a pure stroke of genius!"
Howard blinked again. Him? 01?
"It's good that you were able to fix the surround-sound of this thing, S, or we wouldn't be enjoying this as much," Professor G congratulated his comrade.
02... him... 01. Wait! Those two look like...
Loud cries of "HEERO!" and groans of "DUO!" as the two lovers on the screen reached their climax filled the dark room, the surround-sound making the walls shake.
Howard passed out, unnoticed by the scientists who were eagerly waiting for the two to begin again.
The End
Uh. I think that last part's scary. C&C anyone?
AJ Maxwell
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