24-January-2002
Title: Innocent Casualty
Author: Duo Priest, Duopriest@aol.com
Archive: GWA Showcase, GWML and SDDI
Category: Heero POV death, rape, torture, lemon
Pairing: 1x2
Rating: PG 17
Warning: Language and some disturbing images
Spoilers: None
Notes: I'm not really sure what prompted this fic, it just sort of
kept growing once I had started it. Upon re-reading it I find it
somewhat disturbing so if you are a bit squimish, leave this one
alone.
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: G Boys don't live here, don't own, not mine, don't sue.
He was thrashing about violently, when he sat straight up, forcing himself awake.
"Duo, what?"
"Cramp! back.....n'side" He said through gritted teeth, his eyes wide in pain.
"Here, lay down on your stomach." I instructed him, helping him lay down and flipping him over. I ran my hands up under the sweat damp T shirt, pushing it up. I could see the muscles bunched beneath the smooth skin. I let my hands drift firmly across his back and down his sides, feeling the scope of the cramp.
He made a low sound in this throat and I could physically feel him relax just a bit. Carefully I began kneading. I could feel the firm, hard muscle beneath the skin growing more elastic as I probed harder and after a short time his flesh had returned to a more mallable state. I was enjoying the feel of muscle sliding between bone and skin. He too seemed more at ease, relaxed, until I felt a shudder run through his body. I eased my ministrations, not sure if I was causing the problem or not. Then I felt it again. A deep hitch of breath.
"Duo, hn?" I questioned and he buried his face in the pillow. I realized then his body was covered in a sheen of sweat and he was trembling. I bent down until my mouth was by his ear, the loose strands of his hair tickling my nose. "Ai shitaru." I breathed softly.Like an uncoiling spring he turned over and threw his arms around me. I gathered him close and brushed my hands up the side of his face. My fingers came away wet. With another shuddering hitch of breath, he buried his face in my neck, a wet warmth against my skin.
He was crying. Crying as though the world had ended for him, and there was nothing left to do but shed tears. He emptied his soul into my shirt, until he was gasping for air, choking on each breath. He pulled away from me, his chin on his chest, snot running from his nose and slobber from his mouth. Gently I lifted his face, cupped his chin in my hand and took up the edge of the sheet. I wiped away the mucus and saliva with as much tenderness as could be expected from shaking hands. His eyes were tightly closed. He whispered something I did not catch. I gathered him to me again and as I ran my hand down his back he relaxed into me. His clothing was soaked and he was shivering. Knowing how easily he caught cold, I removed his shirt. His boxers clung wetly to him like a second skin so I removed those as well.
"Move over here." I directed. "The sheets are dry." He nodded, eyes downcast, slid over and laid down. I tucked the dry sheet around him and laid down beside him, holding him in my arms. Soon the shivering left the flesh beneath my hands, but the tears had started again. I rose up on my elbow and as I did so he rolled on his side away from me, curling up into a ball.
I placed small kisses along his shoulder and down his neck. I kissed him behind the ear and whispered "Ai shiteru koi. Tell me what is upsetting you." I slipped my hand under his arm and slid it across his chest to rest above his heart. It was pounding like he had run for his life.
Absently my fingers ghosted over the scars on his chest, caressing, meant to sooth. One in particular ran from his left shoulder to stop just above his navel. He would never tell me about that one, how or why it happened. So many scars decorated his body for as young as he was. Hell, as young as we all are. Duo was never a kid, a child. He was born a man, simply to survive. Life in the streets, battles, capture by Oz: all wars left their marks.
At least I was sheltered, had clothing and food. Security. That's the description: security. How many times did he have to steal? Barely escaping with his life at times.
And how many times did he have to sell his body just to eat? To be left in an alley, most always bleeding. Bleeding because "customers" had no time for prep. To take and go. And just to eat. To survive.
Sometimes when we make love and I'm not careful of my approach, his face goes blank. He withdraws into himself so far *he* isn't there anymore. Then I know the horrors of the street are creeping into his mind. So I back off and be as gentle as possible, stroking, cajoling, giving comfort. I'm his security now. And when his eyes clear and he gives his head that tiny shake, I know he's back. Most times he throws his arms around me and then he is at his most passionate, loving me like it is the last thing he will ever do. Then, totally spent he falls asleep and the nightmares don't come. On nights we don't make love, they do. This is how I know of his life in the streets. He talks and screams his soul in his sleep. Many is the night I laid awake and listened to the horrors chasing him in his dreams. And tonight was one of those nights.
Now he is snuggled back against me, eyes tightly closed and trembling."Helen." he whispers.
"Helen?" I repeated as I traced the scar from shoulder to navel. He shuddered. I rise up on my elbow so my mouth is just above his shell-like ear. I lay gentle kisses along it. "What about Helen?"
"That woman today. Sister Helen died like that." He says faintly. My mouth descends to his shoulder kissing the beginning of the ragged scar. I suck absently at the puckered flesh as the memory of today comes crashing back.
It was supposed to be an easy mission. Stop Oz from invading a small but critical town. But we were too late. The town was destroyed. All five of us tumbled out of our gundams to give assistance where we could.
There was death and pain all around. As I made my way through the rubble I spotted Duo down on his hands and knees, in a pool of blood. Biting back a curse and forcing myself to be calm I ran over to him. Just as I arrived he unceremoniously emptied his stomach on the ground before him. The coppery smell of blood and the stench of vomit assaulted my nose but I swallowed hard the bile that rose in my throat. I knelt down beside him, running my hands over his body. He continued to vomit until he could only heave, shaking in every limb. Finding no hurt I half lifted, half drug him out of the pool of blood. I sat down heavily, his body collapsing between my out stretched legs, his head against my chest.
I wrapped my arms around him just as he opened his eyes and stared at his blood covered hands. "No." he breathed quietly and frantically scrubbed his palms on his pant legs. He threw his head back in a soul searing scream that burst from his chest. I grabbed his hands and held them together with sheer force. He was rubbing the skin off of them, mingling his blood with that already spilt.
"DUO!" I ordered sharply, then softer; "Duo."
He collapsed against my chest, panting heavily, his eyes wide open and staring. He wasn't *there*. Whatever nightmare was chasing him then he was facing it eyes wide open and awake.
I held him for a long time, his harried breathing finally began to slow, but his eyes remained vacant. I looked around for the others and my gaze fell on the body of a young woman. She had been blond and quite pretty, but she had been severly tortured and brutally raped. I realized then it had been her blood Duo had been kneeling in.
At that moment Trowa and Quatre spotted us and came running over."Is he okay?"Quatre panted dropping to his knees beside us.
"Yeah." I whispered, stroking the head pressed against my chest. I placed a kiss on the top of his head. "Yeah, he'll be okay." I nodded toward the woman's body. "Would you cover her?"
Quatres gaze fell on the woman for just a moment and he looked away. "Yes, of course." He swallowed hard. He got to his feet and Trowa followed him. In moments they were back with a blanket, rags and water.
I unbuttoned Duo's black blood soaked shirt and pulled it off of him, throwing it to the side. His braid had soaked in the blood and like a macabre paint brush had left its mark on his clothes and arms. I was able to reach down and unbutton his pants. Quatre understood what I was doing and removed Duo's boots and socks then helped me with his pants.
Carefully Quatre and I checked Duo again for any injuries, wiping away the blood as we went. We found none. Left only in his boxers and white turtle neck shirt, he looked so frail and helpless.
Trowa joined us, having covered the body of the young woman and helped Quatre to his feet, hugging him tightly. I still held Duo close, stroking his hair, feeling him relax against me. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was back.
"Duo?"
"Hm?"
"Do you think you can get your gundam back to the safe house?"
"Yeah I think so but give me a minute, okay?"
I didn't answer him but just pulled him closer. In a few minutes he stirred and sat up. He looked around and saw Trowa picking up his clothes. "Leave them." he said simply and got to his feet. I scrambled to mine as he moved to his gundam and stepped onto the zip line. I caught up to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. His eyes met mine. "I'm okay. I'll make it home." he said putting his hand in mine and squeezing it. Then he lifted himself to the cockpit.
He stirred under my kisses bringing me back to the now. "All the blood! How can one body hold so much blood?." he moaned. "Sister bled like that. Oh God, Heero!!!" He partially rolled toward me and grabbed my shoulder. "I tried to stop it! I did! Honest!" His hand was like a vise on my shoulder but I gently covered it with mine.
"I know you did, koi. I know you tried." I assured him. He loosened his grip and rolled away, sobbing. I remembered his body covered in blood and the start it had given me. When we had gotten home he had gone straight to the shower and stayed. After awhile I joined him. He just stood under the spray, his hands and forehead pressed against the wall. I unbraided his hair, still caked with blood and washed it for him. As I worked the conditioner through, he started to cry. Soundless heaves shook his shoulders as I finished rinsing his hair. I turned off the water and turned to him putting my arms around him from behind, feeling the wet mass of hair between us.
His hands came up to my arms. "I'm just tired Heero." He had volunteered. "I'll be okay once I get some sleep." I had laid my head against the back of his neck and kissed it. By now most of the water had drained from his body and hair, so I let him go and led him from the shower. I towel dried his hair and body as he numbly stood still. I dried myself and pulled on my boxers when I realized he hadn't moved. I helped him dress in his usual sleeping outfit of boxers and T-shirt then helped him into bed. He had fallen asleep instantly.
Now my hand combed through the still damp locks, amazed at the silken softness. It had taken a lot to get the blood washed out.
"They cut it!" Duo suddenly stated angrily I jumped That simple statement was filled with so much hate!
"Hn?" I managed to mumble.
"That was the first thing they did, they cut her hair. It was long, to her waist and she kept it braided." He closed his eyes and smile. "She complained it seemed it would never grow any longer, unlike mine." Then his face transformed again into a deep frown. "They hacked it off." Realization crashed in on me. Never again would I threaten to cut his hair, whether in fun or anger. Never.
I buried my face in the silken mass and drew a deep breath. It seemed he needed to talk about this, to purge his soul. Then I would listen. "Go on koi." I whispered nuzzling his neck, kissing along the top of his shoulder. Faint bruises colored his skin there. We all wore those badges of battle from being slung around in the harnesses of the gundams, no matter how tight they were adjusted. I slid my hand around to his chest feeling the rise of hard muscle, letting my fingers play along the cleft between his pecs. My fingers tangled in the chain of the gold cross that always graced his neck. Something he had redemption in. My fingers strayed from there and found the hard little nub of flesh, grazing over it. He drew in a sudden breath, bowing forward. I smiled and rolled the nipple between my thumb and fingers. He rolled back toward me and I rose up over his shoulder, kissing down his chest to reach the other pebbled nub. I flicked my tongue acoss it and was rewarded to hear a gasp. Then I drew it into my mouth and rolled it between my teeeth. His hands came up to my head, burying thenselves in my hair. He arched his back moaning in a low gasp. I teased both nipples, one with my mouth, the other by hand. I watched with gratification as his cock twitched then became erect. Satisfied with the results, my mouth left the nipple and sought his. He met me eagerly pressing hard against my lips. My tongue traced his bottom lip, then ran slowly along his teeth. He sighed and let me in. Gently I carressed the inside of his mouth, across the roof and down the sides to entwine with his tongue. I tweaked the nipple I still held between my fingers and he arched up against me, drawing my tongue further into his mouth. For long moments the kiss continued then I pulled away and went back to his breast, nipping and kissing. We were both breathless, panting.
Then sorrowfully he whisperd "Then they stripped her and beat her. One man pulled off her vestments and held her while the others stripped her of the rest of her clothes. They slapped and punched her when she struggled against them. Then he grabbed her breasts and twisted them. She cried out." He stopped as my hand cupped the small rise of muscle and squeezed. Then my fingers found the hard nub again. Quietly he said "Then he kissed her, biting her lower lip hard enough to draw blood. He bit his way down her neck, leaving his marks until he reached her breasts." He shuddered under my kisses. "That bastard............he bit pieces of flesh from her.........." his hands fluttered to his chest. "Just like the woman today." I paused for a moment as that horrific sight flashed through my mind agian. "Please Heero make me forget." He pleaded plucking at my shirt.
I knew what he wanted. I sat up and pulled off the shirt, removing my boxers as well. He watched me with an intense stare. When I had laid down again I took him in my arms, skin against skin, his back curled against my front. My hand trailed down from his chest where it had been resting to the flat planes of his stomach. My fingers traced the line between bare skin and where the curly brown hair began. He jerked slightly. I ran my fingers through the curls teasing and finally encircled the base of his cock with my thumb and fingers squeezing slightly. His erect cock suddenly flushed red and stiffened further. I took him in my whole hand now and stroked gently. He arched back against me, thrusting slowly with his hips. "Mmmmmm." he purred. "More."
My erection now pushed at the crack between the firm round globes, my need growing with his. Without letting him go I reached up to the head board shelves and found the tube I was looking for. Deftly, one handed I opened it and squeezed a dollop on my fingers that I rubbed on my dick. As I continued stroking Duo with my hand, I pumped my dick along his crack, across the puckered entance to push against his sack then pull back again. As I felt him begin to tighten, I let his cock go and trailed my hand across his hip. He protested with a small whimper, but by then I had my fingers greased and was stroking his entrance. He relaxed and my finger slid in easily. In moments it was followed by a second finger. Slowly I pulled them out, spreading them gently, stretching him, my thumb sliding up the groove, then pushing back in a little faster. He moaned softly, the sound vibrating in his throat. I kissed the back of his neck, my teeth tugging on the fine hair gently as my fingers probed deep within him. My index finger brushed against a hard lump just beneath the tissue of his passage. Duo's hips bucked back and swallowed the third finger easily. His head lolled back against my shoulder. Again I hit that little bundle of nerves, sending delicious tremors along his spine. He opened wide for me. Quickly I withdrew my fingers and positioned myself, pushing carefully. With an animal grunt, he snapped his hips back, engulfing me in one movement, my balls banging against his.
Oh god! The heat and the pressure! It radiated from the tip of my dick, down the shaft, into my balls and out into my body. I couldn't move for the sheer pleasure. Then suddenly he clamped down on me and the pleasure turned to pain.
"Duo!?" I wimpered, gripping his arm.
And all he said was "They raped her." and the pressure eased.
"What?"
"Front, back, in the mouth, one at a time or all together. They had their way with her over and over. She begged and pleaded and cried but it didn't matter. They only laughed. And she bled, being a virgin in all senses...................and I couldn't help her."
"You were there?"
"Yes."
"You saw all this?"
"Yes."
"Duo, Gomen........" His body went limp and he cut my apology short.
"I couldn't take seeing her like that any more. I must have moved, made a sound. I drew the attentions of one of the soilders. I scrambled out of the rubble but I slipped and fell face down, landing on something soft. As I tried to regain my feet I came face to face with Father Maxwell, his eyes were open staring blindly. His throat had been cut and it was his blood that I had slipped and fallen in. I pushed backwards away from his body right into the arms of the soilder. He grabbed me by the hair and held me up, ripping the bloody clothes from my body. He held me easily by my braid with one hand as he undid his pants with the other. I fought , kicked and screamed but he swung me by my braid into the altar railing. I saw stars as the wind was knocked out of me and I was positioned none too gently across the railing." He paused and rocked his hips forward and back as though to see if I was still within him. A small smile crossed his face.
"I felt him spread my cheeks and push against me. I braced myself for the pain, knowing it was going to hurt." He paused, something I could not read flickered across his face. Then he continued, speaking very softly. "Then as though in an answer to a prayer the ground beneath us shook, followed by a deafening explosion. He let go of me and I slipped away, forgotten. All of them stopped whatever they were doing and went scrambling for their clothes and weapons. Fire lit the night sky behind the church. They were being attacked. But before they fled they had to leave no witnesses. One of them took a large crucifix and shoved it into Helen until Christ was buried to his arms in curly blond hair. She didn't move but her life's blood gushed from her. One of them asked about the kid, but the one who had tried to rape me said I wouldn't last much longer anyway, being half starved. They turned as a group and left."
I slipped my arms around him and held him close. I didn't know what else to do. It must have been enough, for even though he stared straight ahead he was still *with* me. Then he said in rasping whisper, " I went to her. There was no pain in her eyes, she was already to far gone. I lifted her head into my naked lap and stoked her hair. She smiled at me and then was gone, an innocent casualty of war." He drew a deep breath and settled me deeper into him with a backwards thrust of his hips. "Now Heero, make me forget for a little while."
And I complied. I drew him closer to me with my arm that was beneath him as my other hand sought his cock. Slowly I withdrew and then pushed back in, increasing the tempo with each stroke. He responded by matching me in counter movement. It was not long before I felt him stiffen, then curl his back against me. I stroked him harder as I too neared my completion. Suddenly as I stroked down on his cock I felt his balls slap against the side of my hand. With a strangled animal cry that held my name he released his passion over my hand and across his chest. His hands came up to grasp my hand that laid across his chest as his body shuddered in the wake of his orgasm.
With his cry, his passage spasmodically closed around me. I felt the tingly tickley feeling in the calves of my legs start to move up to meet the coiled tightness of my stomach that was moving down. They met with a clash in my balls and like a searing lightening strike traveled down my cock to explode into a mind numbing white flash.
I don't know if it was seconds or hours later when consciouness returned to me. My breathing had slowed but my heart still raced. It took me a few seconds to remember where I was but reality crashed back quickly. Duo was curled against my body, his chest rising and falling in deep sleep. My arm encircled his shoulders, his hand holding mine cemented together by his passion's seed. My other hand still held his softened cock and I was still buried to the hilt in him. My forehead rested against the nape of his neck as my now wide awake mind began to process what I just heard during our love making. What was it he had called Helen? 'An innocent casualty of war'? Didn't that description fit us all, alive or dead? Perhaps the dead were the lucky ones, they could sleep undisturbed. Not like the creature that was curled in my arms. Now he sleeps, purged of his demons of war for this night at least. But tomorrow night? And those to follow?
I raised my head above his shoulder and laid soft kisses along his collar bone. He did not move as my lips crossed the puckered flesh that ran from his shoulder to his navel. I laid my head back down beside his and I wondered if he would ever tell me about that scar some night.
Owari
Duo Priest
Please send comments to: Duopriest@aol.com