30-Dec-2000
This is the third of three parts. Part 1 will be posted by Bonnejeanne and 2 will be posted by Ravyn. These were all written by each separate author but they link together in a sort of story.
Title: Self-Destruct Trilogy 3 The Need for Answers
Author: Vonceia (vonceia@yahoo.com)
Archive: GW Addiction and if she chooses, Darkflame
Category: yaoi, angst
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: 1x2 implied
Spoilers: Series
WARNINGS: Serious angst. SERIOUS ANGST. Of the RavynFyre style! ^__^
Disclaimer Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Our stuff is ours. No money being made here. As with all our fics, while our goal is to stay as in character as possible, any discrepancies are our mistakes.
Feedback Any and all comments welcome, be they short or long.
Part of the Frozen Colony Arc? No.
Everything was like a dream to me. I could hear people talking, a slightly familiar voice, but that was about it. I heard the background noise of the vid and animal noises, which were puzzling, but that was about it. There was a girl's voice, but not Relena's.
Relena... what was her deal, anyway? Don't fight. All I could and can do is fight. That's my only purpose... to fight. Isn't it? I mean, in this twilight I have some time to think about it, I guess. Right now, I don't know where I am.
Ok, what other choice do I have, anyway, but to think. So, Relena doesn't want me to fight. She talks of Peace like it's something that doesn't need defending. She hasn't lived like I have, with one struggle after another. Of course, she hasn't got dead people on her conscious either.
I'm a soldier. I follow orders. That is it. Isn't it? I'm alive and I'm a person, but what does it count for? At least, as a soldier, I have victory and honor. I know what to do, how to handle situations. When Doctor J sent the word, I acted. It was the right thing to do... Wasn't it?
Of course, the not so honorable part of me realizes, that while the gesture was a noble one, it hurt like hell. The human body, even my body, can withstand incredible amounts of pain, but it's not a pleasant thing and I don't recommend it. And it really pisses me off that it didn't seem to bring that much vaunted Peace everyone talks about. So that's a lie too, huh?
Relena... Sheltered girl. I can't seem to get a grip on her. I don't understand why I couldn't eliminate her. What stayed my hand... that little girl from before? Maybe, but there was something else. In fact, there is something else that's right at the edge of my mind about this whole war.
I understand the battles. I understand why we fight. What I don't understand is the feeling I get that I'm being manipulated... That makes me mad. She's doing it, Oz, Doctor J, and maybe even the Colonies. There is definitely something about this that I need to find answers to.
Oh no, here comes that voice again. The not Relena girl. She always talks to me like I'm some idiot. I know she's trying to be nice, but maybe I was wrong and this is what evil really is. She is much worse than Duo. And where did he come from anyway?
He shot me, twice... then he rescued me. He's like some giant puppy, but I have to admit, he's a good pilot. Too out in the open, though... Too trusting. Too friendly.
And the others.... Trowa's ok. Quatre is smart.. He fights better than he thinks he can. Duo's a good fighter, but he's too visible. Then there's Wufei. I understand his solitude. I admire it. He goes his own way.
Ok, conclusion. I've spent too much time in wherever this is. There's a war still on and if I'm not dead and with the Ancestors, then I'm sleeping too long. I've got work to do. I've got answers to find. And I have got to get away from that woman's voice... Catherine?
Time to wake up...
Later...
"How long have I been out?"
"It's been a month, " Trowa said.
......
"...then I've got some advice."
"What?" Trowa asked.
"It hurts like hell," I tell him.
~owari~
Vonceia
Please send comments to: vonceia@yahoo.com