19-Oct-2000
Disclaimer: I don't own GW. I'm poor. These ficlets are for entertainment only. Beware....here you will find mention of NCS, some lemon, yaoi, and something that may offend you. If you can't deal, don't read. These are some things I have become stalled on and am hoping for inspiration. HELP!
Screams echoed through the halls of the base. Noin and Une were out of their shared room before the first tortured yell faded. Over the last three weeks, this had become the pattern. The four friends no longer slept for an entire night, however, none of them felt the least bit of resentment. If anything, they were worried about the source of the noise.
Duo Maxwell, technically an enemy, had been brought to this secret base after having been found bound and brutalized. Doctors determined the man had been tortured for at least two weeks. Those weeks left the Gundam pilot shattered, physically and mentally. The only people he allowed to touch him or be near him were the four OZ officers who used to hunt him. Such a strange turn of events.
Une got to the room first. She was greeted by a familiar sight. Duo was on the bed, gently held by Treize and Zechs as he tried to escape from the nightmare. The young man thrashed and struck out at both men not realizing they were trying to keep him from hurting himself. The older men had gotten their share of bruises in the past weeks, but it was better than the alternative. Twice Duo had tried to rip out stitches and tear off bandages; while trapped in the nightmares, Duo chose death to end his pain. Now they kept close to him. Zechs and Treize had an adjoining room, as they were the only ones strong enough to handle the young pilot when the nightmares sent him out of control.
"Duo," Une called softly, climbing on the bed. "Duo, I'm here. Shhh. It's alright now." Her voice changed from harsh and commanding to gentle and soothing; it reached through the nightmare, touching Duo's battered soul. In seconds, Une had her arms full of sobbing young man. The woman once again was struck by how small this man seemed; far too young to have this happen. He had always seemed thin, but now almost all of his bones were visible; Duo still had problems keeping most food down.
"It's going to be OK." Treize soothed from behind Duo, carefully running a hand up and down the pilot's back.
Zechs and Noin waited on the side of the bed. Both looked very tired and worried. Eventually, the sobs died and Duo pulled away from Une.
"I'm fine now, thanks." The pilot's voice was harsh from all the screaming and he didn't look anyone in the eyes. His four guardians had discovered Duo, while a prisoner, would be beaten if he looked anyone in the face. The learned behavior still haunted him.
"Look at us, Duo," Zechs begged. He hated this evidence of how far the once strong pilot had been broken.
The American did as asked with a plastered, and obviously fake, smile on his lips. "Guys, I'm fine. Really. Why don't you go and get some sleep? You look like hell."
"Duo," Treize sighed, "you need to talk to someone about what happened to you."
"Listen, General," Duo cut him off. "I already told you. What happened had nothing to do with OZ. None of your men were involved. Why don't you just put me in prison cell? It'd be easier on you and you could finally get a good night's sleep."
Four faces twisted in pain at the last statement. While it was true Duo denied Treize was responsible for his brutilization, how could he expect them to just walk away? It was too obvious the young man was suffering. In the last three weeks, they'd gotten past trust issues and thought they'd become friends with the young pilot.
"Come on guys," Duo said. "I didn't mean it like that." Duo couldn't believe he counted these people among his friends. At first, he'd thought they would try to get information from him, however, as the days went on, not a single question about Gundams or the other pilots was asked. Instead, these four wanted to catch and punish the ones who hurt him. They'd tried to get him counseling, healed his physical wounds, set up this room for him, and given him the run of their base and more trust than anyone besides Father Maxwell had. There were no locks on the doors or restrictions. Duo trusted and even liked them, but couldn't bring himself to believe they would accept him after they knew what he'd done.
He hadn't wanted to. It's just that those bastards were hurting him so bad and he wanted the pain to stop. Treize, Une, Zechs, and Noin would be disgusted with him if they knew Duo'd begged the men to fuck him. But he hadn't really wanted them to. And when his body had responded to their touches, he'd tried not to enjoy it. He really had. Duo almost started crying again as the memories threatened to overwhelm him. He was certain to lose their support and friendship. After all he'd lost recently, that'd be the final blow.
"Duo Maxwell," Noin said suddenly, "we are not leaving this room until you talk to us."
The pilot paled. "Please, Noin, just leave it. Please."
"No," The woman's voice held no flexibility.
Duo tried to back away from her, but the others had surrounded him. No one was touching Duo, but the feeling of being trapped was there. He began to hyperventilate.
"Duo," Une whispered softly. "No matter what, we will not abandon you."
"You don't understand," Duo said, his voice barely audible. "You'll hate me. You'll see how dirty I am and hate me." A small sob shook his slender body as he collapsed on the bed in a fetal position.
Four people shared a knowing look. The counselor had told them Duo would feel this way. She'd given them a pretty clear idea of what most likely had been done to the young pilot and how he would react. He needed to know it wasn't his fault, but if he never talked about it there would be no way to make him understand. Until Duo talked about what happened, he would never heal; yet the young man refused to even listen to suggestions about discussing his abuse. The four friends were out of ideas and beginning to despair. Perhaps the Gundam pilot had been broken too far to ever truly heal?
Not looking at the others, Zechs slowly sat next to the now shaking pilot; the taller man made sure Duo could see every move he made, not wishing to risk setting off the other's high strung defense instincts. With the air of someone about to share a huge secret, Zechs began to speak.
"When my country was destroyed, I suddenly found myself on my own. As you can imagine, it was very hard for a six-year-old child who'd once had everything to suddenly go to nothing. Even worse to know a world organization wanted to kill you." Zechs paused and looked at his audience. All eyes were focused on him, but he only watched a pair of wide, violet orbs.
"I knew Treize from before and thought if I could reach him, I might find safety. Even be able to track down my sister and find out if anyone else had survived. It was a long journey and once I trusted a stranger. I was so tired and hungry, I didn't even think about what might happen. He promised me a meal and a place to sleep." Treize reached out and gently took his lover's hand; while he knew this story, Une, Noin, and Duo did not. To share such a thing was painful and the ginger-haired man admired his second's courage.
"The food was drugged and I woke up just as he started raping me." Zechs' voice dropped to a whisper, but his eyes never left Duo's. "It hurt. A lot. I remember screaming, trying to get him off me, and finally just begging him to stop. He didn't. When he was," Zechs choked on the sentence, "done, the bastard tied me up. He wouldn't feed me unless I begged him to take me. I held out for three days before hunger got the better of me and I did beg. He was rougher than before, saying it was because I made him wait.
After that, I stopped fighting him. He made me cook and clean for him and I didn't run because I knew he would find me. One day, after I'd been there about a week, I managed to keep one of the sharp kitchen knives. The man would eat while I had to watch and then feed me whatever was left over. It was a simple matter to step behind him and cut his throat.
I remember how much joy I felt watching him writhe on the floor as blood poured over his hands. The look on his face was so shocked, like he couldn't believe I would do this to him. Finally, he stopped moving and I realized what I'd done. I'd broken ever tenant of my father's beliefs; taken a life and enjoyed doing it! For a long time, I just sat and stared at the body.
Eventually, survival instincts kicked in and I found myself searching his house; I stole as much food as I could carry and all the money I could find. A month later, I found Treize." Zechs laughed softly and gave his lover's hand a squeeze. "He knew just by looking at me what happened. I received the best counseling available and he never once blamed me for what happened. It was years before I could do that.
The one thing I have learned from the fight to heal is that if you do not talk about it, all the pain and anger you feel will fester inside you; poison you until you become something no one will recognize. Let us help you, Duo." Zechs pleaded. "We won't turn you away. No matter what you say. I swear on my family's graves and my kingdom."
Duo looked at the tears forming in the older man's eyes. Although the memories were old, the pain never really went away, but that didn't mean he couldn't live his life to the fullest. As long as he had friends who cared, any wound could be healed. Swallowing hard, Duo nodded his head and began his story.
End Part 2
I am so not happy with this chapter. Suggestions anyone?
Phoenix
Please send comments to: lina.inverse@verizon.net