Disclaimer: I don't own GW or the song. I am poor. This fic is for entertainment only. It has yaoi, lemon, and other stuff. This is also the result of one EVIL Muse and EVIL Mood. I am not responsible for them. If you can't deal, don't read. This is just a teaser as I am getting to the lemon right after I post this. Tell me what you think and if I should change anything.

'Bad touch' by The Bloodhound Gang

Too Much Discovery Channel by Phoenix

teaser

Heero, Quatre, Zechs, Alex, and Mueller are sitting in a small room watching the Discovery Channel. They are at a reunion party for the cast of Gundam Wing. Unfortunately, someone embezzled most of the money for the convention and the guys, and their Gundams, are stuck waiting at a small airbase.

They have been here for three days with nothing to watch but the Discovery Channel. The only upside is the lack of visitors. The downside is that their lovers refuse to cooperate for fear someone would see and ruin the series' reputation. Finally, after 72 hours of watching nature shows, the guys are ready to snap. Yet another show about animal mating comes on.

Voice over: Ha-Ha! Well now we call this the act of mating

But there are several other very important differences

Between human beings and animal's that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Treize, Trowa, Duo, and Wufei are working on their Gundams and discussing life in general. They are very bored and lonely, but won't admit it.

The above statement rings through the hanger and the pilots turn to find a shocking sight. Heero is dressed in a tight, black body-suit. Like something a Special Forces person might wear. He has heavy duty black boots on, and a knife is sheathed in one of them, a length of black rope hangs from his belt. He looks ready to take anything on and his gaze is focused on Duo.

Quatre is dressed in black leather. It contrasts beautifully with his bright blue eyes and blond hair. One hand holds a black whip that Quatre is slowly uncoiling, giving Trowa plenty of time to see his future.

Alex and Mueller stare pointedly at Wufei. The men are dressed in skintight black jeans and white shirts. Alex is twirling a pair of handcuffs with one hand. Mueller has a riding crop in one of his. Wufei swallows hard.

Zechs is dressed simply; a pair of tight blue jeans, a red cropped shirt, and a provocative smile. Treize steps backward, he's seen that smile before. The four objects of various affections share a look and run for it.

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought

Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts

Yes I'm Siskel yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up

You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds

I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns

Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined

To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Gettin' horny now

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket

Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it

Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas

But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"

So if I capsize on your thighs high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship

Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip

So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time' you'll Lovett just like Lyle

And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Gettin' horny now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Gettin' horny now

Too Much Discovery Channel by Phoenix

another teaser

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought

The pursuers look at each other, nod, and take off after their respective partners. This particular drought is about to end.

Heero takes off after Duo at a full run. His lover is a very clever person and if given time could hide well enough to confound Heero for several hours. The Wing pilot has no intention of waiting that long; he has plans for the long-haired loud mouth.

Quatre just walks after Trowa. He knows his lover well enough that his destination is already known. However, since he did run, Quatre decides he will have to re-teach the tall man some manners.

Alex and Mueller jog after Wufei, content to let the Asian man tire himself out. It will make things easier later.

Zechs sort of saunters after Treize. The older man is too predictable for his own good. Zechs knows where he has run to and sees no reason to expend energy running when it could be used later on Treize. In the distance, the sun slowly sets.