29 Jan 2005
Title: Boundless - 2/3
Author: tkmaxwell777
Blood Type: Amaretto Sour
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 1+2/2x1, 3+4, past 1x5/5x1
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Angst, Attempted Suicide, Character Death, Language, Lemon, and Sap
Archived: Yep! Fanfiction Section at GWA - www.gwaddiction.com
TK Maxwell Original Christian and Yaoi Fiction - http://writing.com/authors/tkmaxwell
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. It is the property of Shin Kidousenki, Bandai, Sotsu, Sunrise, and other affiliated parties. This story is a parody of its defined universe and is in no way an official continuation of the original series. I consider underage characters engaging in sexual activity as Emancipated Minors. This story is for entertainment purposes and should not be read as a realistic representation of actual romantic or sexual relationships. Content is not intended to either condone or condemn lifestyles or viewpoints portrayed by these characters. I make no money doing this, so please do not sue me. I write for the love of the characters and the pleasure of feedback!
"Heero... come back here... " A frustrated voice called out from the kitchen.
Heero rolled his wheelchair through the living room towards his bedroom. It had become a familiar pathway. They argued quite frequently, but Heero wasn't about to let Duo tell him what he could and couldn't do. He was perfectly capable of balancing against the counter to wash the dishes... perfectly capable, damn it! Making his way to the side of his bed, the dark-haired man positioned the chair and then lifted himself clear to fall onto the mattress. Breathing heavily, Heero shifted his shoulder. It was still healing - just one more thing to make him feel vulnerable, and he hated it. The longer he spent with Duo, the harder it was to keep his feelings of inadequacy buried inside.
Heero had been trying to ignore Duo's attempts to get him to talk to him about Wufei. His leg had become easier to discuss, but his former partner was not a subject he would allow because it still just hurt too much. Sometimes Duo would say or do something that reminded him of Wufei, and Heero would either lash out or walk away to lessen the pain of remembering. The braided man had worked through so many of Heero's defenses already, and Heero didn't know how much longer it would be before Duo saw how afraid he really was of what his life had become... of what it might still end up becoming. He was used to being in control and doing things for himself. Now he was nothing but a pathetic cripple... broken... useless... couldn't even wash the fucking dishes. What was the point?
'Since when did you become such a coward?' A familiar voice in his head challenged. The words were similar to the ones Trowa had used from weeks before in the hospital, but a different speaker made them even harder to take.
"What does it matter," Heero replied gruffly, knowing the imagined reprimand was coming from his own mind, but unable to keep from feeling like it had actually been spoken out loud. "You left me alone to deal with this. If I'm a coward now, it's your damn fault, Wufei!" The anger was sudden, and Heero picked up the worn book that had been lying on his bed and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. The defenseless object crumpled, its pages folding up against the wooden floor. Heero felt a lot like the book at that moment. He was so easily placed where he didn't want to be, like something without a will of its own. His temper flared again, helplessness overtaking him. "You left me, Fei, and now you have no right to judge what I've become without you! No right at all!"
He realized Duo was in the room mere seconds before the other man said, "It's okay to be mad, you know."
Heero closed his eyes. "Not now, Duo." He didn't want to talk about anything that was on his mind at the moment. His eyes flew open when callused yet gentle fingers began running through his hair. It was the kind of comfort that Duo had been giving him for the past few weeks since they'd moved in together, and it was disarming as hell. The braided bastard knew it too, because Duo wouldn't hesitate to touch him when Heero tried to withdraw. Words just seemed to be drawn out of him every time, and this one was no different. "How could he do this to me? We relied on each other to do our jobs, not put ourselves in danger for each other. I could've made it... "
Duo crawled into the bed beside Heero. "Should've, could've, would've... Heero, you can make yourself crazy thinking about what might have been, but you have to face what really happened, no matter how hard it is right now." That soothing hand returned, keeping Heero's angry words at bay. "Listen, it's all right to be upset with Wufei for not thinking about himself first, but you know he did it out of love for you."
"Then I'll never let anyone else love me again," Heero vowed, clenching his fists in determination.
"Too late, buddy."
Heero furrowed his brows as he looked over at the other man. "What?"
"The guys and I already love you, Heero; each of us a bit differently than Wufei, but just as strongly. Any one of us would risk his life to save yours, and there's no way you can change that." Duo flushed a little at the vehement tone in his voice then sighed when Heero scowled at him. "Hey, I understand why you're so hurt and angry with Wufei. You expected him to take care of himself, but he was looking out for you instead and got killed. Believe me, I'd be pissed off too. Thing is, you have to realize that caring about someone means sacrificing sometimes, and no matter how mad you are about it, Wufei was willing to pay the ultimate price for you. That should count for something."
"He shouldn't have done it!" Heero yelled, his emotions breaking through his restraint. "Don't you understand? If it had been me, I wouldn't have even thought about him!" He took a breath. "When we got involved, we agreed that if one of us died during a mission, it would never be because of the other. Before every mission, we made a vow to not let our relationship compromise our objectives... "
Duo moved closer, an incredulous expression on his face. "Do you honestly believe that shit? Give me a break! You would have done the same thing for him had your positions been changed."
Heero shook his head, refusing to agree. "No. We promised each other. You've seen me during missions. I'm so focused that I wouldn't have even thought about... "
"If you had seen him in danger, you would've thrown yourself in front of him the same way he did for you, Heero Yuy." Duo's indigo eyes flashed. "I know you. Yeah, you like to think that you're so battle-hardened that you can survive anything, and that you're too dedicated to let any emotion interfere with the mission, but I was the one you didn't kill during the war, and that was before we were even friends." He quirked a grin at that then turned serious again. "Sure, Wufei might've been your lover, but even more importantly, he was your partner. I don't care what you say, you wouldn't have let him get hurt if you could've kept it from happening, vows be damned."
"But that has nothing to do with... "
"You have to quit lying to yourself!" Duo interrupted again, as he grabbed hold of Heero's shoulder and gave him a shake, causing Heero to wince at the slight pain of his other shoulder being jostled. Duo didn't seem to notice as his grip tightened. "That's just a bunch of bullshit! Come on, man! I've watched you struggle with this guilt ever since he died, but you have to let it go before it eats you alive!" Heero watched Duo close his eyes for a moment, seeming to rein in his anger before he opened them again. "Heero, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about over this. I know you loved Wufei every bit as much as he did you, but you're trying to convince yourself that what he did was wrong so you can blame him for it instead of seeing it for the honorable thing it was. Maybe you think it won't hurt as much, but you're wrong. He gave his life for yours, Heero, and you need to admit it! Distancing yourself from the truth won't make it go away. You have to deal with losing him."
"I deal with it every fucking day!" Heero growled, jerking away from Duo's hand. He rolled over, attempting to get to his chair, but Duo grabbed him from behind, pulling him back against the braided man's chest securely. Heero tried to break free of the hold before Duo stripped away yet another layer of his defenses. "Let go, damn it!"
"No, I wont. What you're doing is hiding from it every fucking day," the other man grated out. "Dealing with it would mean accepting that Wufei is dead because of his own choices. You said, you weren't responsible for him."
"I wasn't... I know that, but I... " the dark-haired man faltered, unsure of what he was trying to say. He didn't even recognize his own voice as it betrayed him. "I shouldn't have been... but I was." The pain lanced through him so strongly that it took his breath away for a moment. "Heaven, forgive me, but I was. Wufei was my partner... my friend... my... my... " Was this what the guilt was about? Not that Wufei had died, but that Heero hadn't been able to protect him? He closed his eyes, trying to deny it, but he couldn't, even if it was contradicting everything he'd been telling himself and Duo for weeks now. "I should have been paying attention to his position," he admitted, the pain ripping through him again. "I could have gotten us both to safety if I had, but instead, I was too busy trying to see where the enemy was going so I could keep them from escaping." Heero grabbed at Duo's hands, not sure if he were trying to get away or hang onto him, but Duo held tightly, not giving him a choice. He finally stilled. "The war is over. Even though Wufei was a soldier, he was my first responsibility as my partner. I let him down. Even though we promised... I shouldn't have let him down... " It was his job to watch Wufei's back, and his failure to do that hurt more than anything, not just as his partner, but as the man who had loved him as so much more than that.
"I know it hurts, but it was his job to watch your back too, which is precisely what he did. If you want to be angry with him then do it for the right reasons," Duo admonished gently. "Be angry with him for always putting honor and duty above his own life. I'm sure he didn't think twice about throwing himself in front of you, but I bet it had just as much to do with you being his partner as it did with you being his lover."
Heero didn't want to admit it. "But he had so much to live for... it would have been better for me to have... "
Duo tightened his hold. "He'd lost more people than you had, Heero, and I don't think he could have taken losing you. He knew that you would be stronger than he could be under those circumstances."
"I'm not strong at all," Heero argued, his voice wavering despite his best effort to not prove his own point.
"Yes, you are, buddy. You're the strongest person I know. You just need help until you recover from this."
"I don't know if I ever will," he replied dejectedly, feeling even weaker. Wufei had told him once that it would be a cold day on the equator before Heero ever let himself need anyone. Of course, that had been before they'd become lovers, but even after that, the other man had ranted at Heero about not allowing other people to get close to him, or give him a hand when things got tough, or even rely on them to understand him as a person in their everyday life. Heero thought about never hearing those heated reprimands again and felt the pain finally tear open the wounds of his heart completely. They hadn't been healing, and there would have been scars that kept him from loving again if he had let this continue, but Heero felt the grief begin to cleanse them. Wufei was really gone. His partner wasn't coming back. The man he'd loved wouldn't ever be with him in this lifetime again.
Heero began trembling as the soft sounds of hitched breath echoed in his own ears. Tears soaked his eyelashes, and he let himself sink into the reprieving embrace Duo was offering him. He knew that he had been trying to push the other man away for days now... because he was afraid. He was getting fitted for his artificial limb in two weeks, and he didn't want to have to rely on Duo so completely... just like he hadn't wanted to rely on Wufei during the mission. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to shut you out. I just don't want him to be dead. I don't want him to... "
Duo buried his face in Heero's hair. "I know. I know. It's okay. It's okay to feel that way, Heero. I miss him too, you know. I miss him so much sometimes, but I have to make myself remember him, so I don't forget the good things. We have to let him live in on in our memories. That's how we get through the pain."
There was silence for what seemed like endless moments as the two men thought about the man they had lost. "He had the most beautiful eyes," Heero finally choked out. "They would shine so brightly when we... m-made love."
Wufei's braided tormentor took a shaky breath. "They also glinted like black fire when he got angry."
A sob caught in Heero's throat as he let himself remember. "He would wear his hair down at home. I would... play with it... when we sat on the couch together. We'd sit there for hours, me watching the news, him reading books."
"He used to get so mad at me when I'd mangle his name," Duo said, trying to laugh instead of cry. "I would try to come up with at least one new variation whenever I'd see him. I even began writing them down to keep track."
Heero sniffed, smirking a little. "He hated pet names. I called him 'koi' once, and he threatened to skewer me with that damn sword of his." Seeing Wufei's scowl in his mind, Heero chuckled lightly, the pain lessening a little.
Duo snickered at that. "That was Wufei. A mixture of passion, intelligence, and unbelievable haughtiness."
"But he had a soft side too," the dark-haired man said, turning over to face his friend, forgetting about the tearstains on his cheeks. "He loved poetry. He memorized almost all of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning."
"How do I love thee, let me count the ways," Duo quoted, and Heero blinked in surprise. He hadn't known that Duo read that kind of thing. His heart felt like it was recognizing something familiar, and it felt better somehow.
"That was one of his favorites," Heero breathed.
Duo reached out and wiped the remainder of Heero's tears away. "He was a fierce warrior with a poet's heart. He was a good man, Heero. You couldn't have chosen a better man to love."
"And I did love him... " Heero told him shakily, "even if I never said it. I did... you don't know how much... " He hid his face against Duo's chest as regret washed over him again.
The braided man pulled him closer. "You're wrong. I do know, Heero, and he knew too. Don't ever doubt that. He knew, and that's why he protected you."
Heero felt the ghost of a touch on a leg that was no longer there and whispered, "I didn't even get to tell him goodbye. It happened so fast, and then he was just... gone."
"I know," Duo replied, running his hand down Heero's back. "That's why it's so important to tell the people you care about how you feel. You never know when it will be the last time that you see them. It hurts when you lose them even if you do tell them, but at least you know they accepted your feelings."
Heero could tell that Duo wasn't just talking about Wufei. The braided man's voice was wistful in a way that made Heero consider the other man's words carefully. He then realized that he'd never told the other pilots how he felt about them. It stunned him to think that he'd failed to let those he was closest to know how important they were to him. Even though Quatre and Trowa had kept in touch, Heero hadn't even thanked them for their friendship. He'd been distant with them, and even worse to Duo at times. He wanted to tell Duo... to let him know how much he meant to him, but it was so... difficult... for some reason. Still, like the other man had said, you never knew when you'd get another chance. He fought embarrassment and blurted out, "You know you've always been my best friend... right?" He tensed, not knowing how Duo would react to that admission.
Duo pulled away to look at him, his eyes filled with a strong emotion that made Heero feel warm all over. "Yeah, buddy, I know, and you've always been mine. Don't forget it when we get upset about things, okay?"
Heero nodded and moved to where his face was tucked against the braided man's chest again. They lay together for a long time, only the sounds of their combined breathing breaking the silence. Heero closed his eyes, suddenly tired. Who would have thought emotional turmoil could be so draining? He allowed his body to relax, letting the warm body beside him become a comfort that he wouldn't deny. Things might get rough in the days ahead, but no matter how angry the braided nuisance got when Heero tried to do everything himself, Duo wouldn't let Heero down.
As he drifted off to sleep, Heero felt Duo bury his face in his hair again and sighed. Duo's voice whispered to him softly, but Heero was only lucid enough to understand the feelings behind the words spoken. If he'd been conscious, he would have heard the other man whisper gently, "I can't tell you while you're awake, but while you're sleeping, I can pretend you're listening. I love you, Heero. I always have. Maybe someday, after you heal from losing Wufei, you'll be ready to hear it when you're not dreaming."
Duo's heart clenched as Heero grabbed onto the bar to keep from falling. The dark-haired man was panting from exertion, but the determined look on his face kept Duo in place instead of charging over to help him. It had been a couple months since Heero had been fitted with his prosthetic leg, but his physical therapy was coming along much slower than expected. Although Heero's wrist had long since healed, and his shoulder was completely functional now, Duo knew the former Wing pilot was getting frustrated with it all. He tried to shut Duo out, his angry silences even more pronounced than they'd been before, but Duo wouldn't let the other man give into self-pity or fear. He sighed as he stood there watching his friend attempt to walk, reminding himself that convalescing from something so traumatic took time - like two steps forward and one step back. He had to keep telling himself that so he didn't throttle Heero for being such a prick most of the time. It wasn't easy with the bouts of angry stubbornness and depression that Heero seemed to indulge in.
"Damn it!" Heero growled out, grabbing for the bar and missing.
Duo was catching hold of him before he could hit the floor. Even though it was matted, it wasn't good for Heero to fall on it. Duo helped Heero up, ignoring the other man's embarrassment. "You okay? Why don't we... "
"I'm fine. Let me go."
The physical therapist had ended the session a half hour ago, but since Heero was the last appointment of the day, and the therapist stayed an hour after that to do paperwork, Heero had recently taken to pushing himself to the point of exhaustion. The past few visits had been a test of patience for Duo, and he was finding that virtue wearing thin. He pulled away. "Okay, but we're leaving," he told the man who was leaning against the bars, glaring at him.
"I'm not going yet. I still have a few minutes. Just because I fell doesn't mean I'm too weak to... "
Duo snorted. "That sounds like something Wufei would say." A pained look passed over Heero's face, but Duo refused to lose the ground they'd gained when it came to talking about the other man, and he wasn't about to feel guilty about mentioning the name. Instead, he reiterated it. "No one said you're weak, Heero, but if Wufei were here, he'd see as well as I do that you're worn out. I'm not going to let you hurt yourself, so we're going home."
Heero's pained look turned to an angry one. "You were the one who wanted me to walk again."
Duo let out an exasperated growl. "And you don't?" He sighed. "Man, but you are a pain in the ass sometimes!"
"Well, I'm sorry I'm such a bother," Heero snarled. "Maybe it would have been easier for you to just let me die."
Duo grabbed hold of him roughly, his hands on the other man's shoulders. "That's enough! I don't want to ever hear you say something like that again... do you hear me? It's a fucking lie, and you know it!"
The dark-haired man looked away. "No, it's true. There's no use for me to do this. I'll never be what I was."
"So you're just giving up? After what we've been through these past few months, you're just going to throw it all away?" The braided man let Heero go. "You're just afraid, Heero. Afraid of failing something that means so much to you." When Heero didn't respond to that, Duo ran his fingers through his own bangs, feeling weary. "I just wish you would... " He stopped, not knowing what else to say to get through to Heero. "You know, I can't make you do this. Either you want to walk again, or you don't. I can be here for you, but I can't make you want to live, Heero. As much as I wish I could, I just don't have that kind of power."
Heero looked at him, his face an unreadable mask. Duo felt helpless, and for the first time since he'd walked into Heero's hospital room to find the other man sunk in depression, he doubted his ability to help Heero get beyond his losses. Tears pricked at the back of his eyes, but instead of pushing them away, Duo allowed them. If he expected Heero to be honest with his emotions, he had to be too. The days of upholding the creed of 'boys don't cry' had long since been dealt with, and Duo was no longer a prisoner of his own pain. His tears slid down his face as he looked at the man he didn't want to lose. He knew the feeling of Heero's soft wild hair on his fingertips, could remember the way Heero's eyes softened when Duo read to him, had memorized every nuance of Heero's voice...
"Duo?" Heero questioned, his shock evident at seeing the other man cry so openly.
"I want you to live because you want to be with me," Duo confessed, not even bothering to wipe his eyes. "I want you to walk again so you'll quit feeling sorry for yourself. I want you to see that there is so much more to you than what you think you have left. I don't want you to die, Heero. If you die, part of me will too. It's that simple."
Heero swallowed hard. "Why would you want to have a cripple around? What good am I to you? Is it worth all of the aggravation I am just to have me for a friend?"
Duo looked at him without flinching. "Yes. It's worth all of it... and anything else I have to go through too."
The other man shook his head. "I don't understand you. How can you say that? My life is cheap, Duo. It always has been. It's worth even less now."
"It was worth the life of one of the finest men I've ever known," Duo countered, wishing not for the first time that Wufei were there to help his partner. "Is that what you call cheap, Heero?"
"No. It's what I call a waste!" Heero snapped. "I call it a stupid decision made in the heat of battle. I call it... "
"Something that I will forever be grateful to Chang Wufei for doing," Duo interrupted angrily. "Something that kept me from grieving over your death to the point of drowning myself in liquor again, because I wouldn't have been able to cope with losing you." For a moment, Duo wondered why the therapist hadn't interrupted them, because they were both getting damn loud.
Heero stared at him, unbelieving. "Why would you do that? I mean I know we're friends, but... "
"Because I love you," Duo replied, feeling a weight lift off of him and his heart plummet at the same time.
"I know, you've told me before, but still... "
Duo knew the other man didn't understand what he was trying to say with those words. "I love you the way Wufei loved you, Heero, and possibly even more," he clarified. When Heero blinked at him, Duo sighed wearily. "I love the way you sleep on your stomach. I love the way you smell like raspberry shampoo after you shower. I love the way you smile when I act like an idiot because you know I'm only doing it to get a reaction. I love the way you eat peanut butter with a spoon instead of on a sandwich with jelly. I love the way you tuck your blanket under your feet before you go to sleep. I love all of those things about you, and I don't want to lose any of them. Even if I have to wait the rest of my life for a chance to show you how much you mean to me... even if you never feel that way about me... I will always love you enough to throw myself in front of any danger to protect you, and I won't feel not one damn bit guilty about doing it, anymore than Wufei does wherever his soul is now."
Silence filled the room as Heero just stood there. When he spoke, it was surprisingly quiet. "Let's go home."
Duo nodded, disappointed that Heero hadn't accepted his feelings, but relieved that the former Wing pilot hadn't gotten angry over them. At least, he didn't think Heero was angry. Sometimes it was hard to tell. "Okay."
They left the center without saying another word. Heero used his wheelchair to give his leg a rest, and once they arrived home, he rolled on into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Duo gave him some space. He needed time to think as much as Heero did. Confession might be good for the soul, but it was hell on the emotions. His were ragged, and he couldn't begin to imagine what Heero's were like. Still, the longer Heero stayed in the other room, the more the braided man doubted something good would come out of it. As he began dinner, Duo couldn't help but feel like an idiot. It had been too soon. He shouldn't have said those things to Heero yet. It would only complicate the already strained relationship between them. How could he have been so stupid? He had to be a friend through the grieving process before anything else. He knew that. Why had he ignored what he'd learned?
Stuck in his own thoughts, he didn't hear Heero until the other man was beside him. "What's for dinner?"
'Damn chair is too silent,' Duo thought uncharitably as he jumped. He kept his eyes on the pan as he said, "Stir-fry."
Heero paused and then asked, "How long?"
"About twenty minutes or so."
An exasperated sigh made Duo look at the other man, who was frowning. "No, idiot. How long have you loved me... like that?" There was something in his voice that Duo couldn't identify.
The braided man turned the heat down on the burner and faced Heero. "Since the first war."
The shock was evident on Heero's face. "Why didn't you... ?"
"Because I was stupid!" Duo bit out. "I didn't understand what I was feeling. I went off with Hilde because that was what I was supposed to do. I didn't know I loved you until Hilde and I split, and by then it was too late."
"Because I had Wufei," Heero finished for him.
"Yeah," Duo admitted. "When you came to stay with me, I realized how I felt, but I couldn't do anything about it. You and Wufei were happy, and I knew I'd missed my chance, so I settled for your friendship instead."
An odd look came into Heero's eyes. "But you have your chance now, don't you?"
Duo hesitated, not knowing where this leading. "I don't know if I do or not. I was hoping once you accepted Wufei's death that you might be able to fall in love with me, but even if you don't, I'll still be here for you."
Heero snorted. "I have to hand it to you. Being the one to take care of me really puts you in a good position to gain my affection. Was that always part of the plan, or did you improvise when you saw I needed you so badly?"
Duo went cold inside. "Heero, it's not like that."
"Isn't it?" The dark-haired man questioned, anger filling every word. "You're saying you never thought I would turn to you for comfort sexually? My leg may be missing, but my brain is still intact, Maxwell."
"I never expected anything like that!" Duo defended desperately. "I just wanted you to get better. Having you with me is something I've dreamed about for a long time, but I never would have... "
"Too bad Wufei had to die for you get enough nerve to finally make a move on me... "
"You son-of-a-bitch!" Duo yelled, and then things went out of control. The next thing he knew, his knuckles were burning, and Heero's face was turned the other way from the blow. Duo was so angry he was shaking as he said in a tight voice, "I would never wish harm on someone who was one of my closest friends just to get what I wanted. For you to even think such a thing is an insult, Heero Yuy. I respected what you and Wufei had. If I could trade places with Wufei right now, I would do it, not only for his sake but for yours as well. My love for you isn't that petty, and I'll be damned if I stand here with my heart held out to you while you act like a fucking moron and spit in my face. " He would be horrified later. Right then, he was just flaming pissed. He stood there, rubbing his hand and trying to pull together his tattered pride, until Heero turned his head to look at him again, his eyes filled with tears.
"One for one," he said softly.
"What?" Duo gasped out, regret taking the place of his anger as he took in the other man's expression. There was so much behind those eyes - a world of pain, a lot of guilt, and even a touch of fear. Duo didn't know if the other man was having a breakdown or a breakthrough. In fact, he wasn't sure whether or not he was getting ready to have one of the two. What he did know was that this had been a long time coming, for better or worse, for both of them.
"You can't tell me that what I said wasn't just as much a blow as the one you gave me," Heero challenged, touching his bruised face. "But unlike you, I deserved it." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Duo. I know you would never have wanted anything bad to happen to Wufei. I guess I was just so angry that you didn't tell me how you felt until after this happened. Your timing needs works."
The former Deathscythe pilot gave him an apologetic look. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted you to see that someone else cares about you, every bit as much as Wufei did. I didn't think about how it would look under the circumstances." He shook his head. "I should have told you from the beginning what my feelings for you were, that way you would have known about it all up front, but I was afraid I'd lose your trust."
"I don't think it would have helped," the dark-haired man mused. "I probably would have shut you out even more if I'd known you felt more for me than just a friend. I think you did the right thing, even if I don't like having it thrown at me all of a sudden."
Duo sighed. "I didn't mean to tell you like that. I was going to wait until you'd healed from this, both physically and emotionally, but you kept fighting me all the time, and I didn't know what else to do to get through to you."
"I know," Heero replied sheepishly. "I haven't made any of this easy for you, have I?"
"Nope," Duo told him, grinning in spite of his words. "You've been a major asshole."
Heero smirked. "Yeah, but I guess you're going to have to get used to it."
"No, you're going to straighten up, or I'll deck you again," the braided man warned. "Wufei would be pissed if he knew I'd let you act like that."
Heero smiled then. "Wufei would be pissed if he knew that you loved me for that long without telling me, even if there had been a chance you and I would've been together instead of him and me." His smile turned rakish. "Then again, he might have considered an arrangement for the three of us. He always thought you were good looking."
Duo flushed. He wasn't even going to think about that. "So you're not angry with me anymore?" He asked instead.
Heero sighed, seeming to think about it. "No, but I'm glad you didn't let me get away with being a jerk. You're right about how Wufei would have reacted to the way I've been acting. He would have knocked me out long before now if he'd been in your shoes. I'm glad you did it, though. This is going to sound stupid, but it made me realize that you still respect me. I feel... stronger somehow because of it. You weren't afraid to hit me like you would have before the accident, and I think that's what I needed from you." He shook his head at his own thought process. "More than your understanding or reassurances, I needed to have you prove to me that I was still... me."
Duo threw his hands up in the air. "But I've been telling you that for months!"
"Yes, you have," Heero chuckled suddenly, "but this was the first time you showed me that I wasn't too broken to take the consequences of being an ass."
"Well, I know how to handle that from now on," Duo quipped sardonically.
"Just not so hard," the former Wing pilot complained as he rubbed his jaw.
Duo went along with the teasing atmosphere, shrugging nonchalantly. "Next time, I'll pull you out of the chair and wrestle you to the floor until you beg me to let you go."
Heero blinked, obviously for effect, because Duo could see the mischief in his eyes. "I'm sorry, but bondage games will not be tolerated in the kitchen. It was one of mine and Wufei's rules, and it will be observed here as well."
"I don't even want to know," the braided man said as he held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.
"What? You don't want to know how we used to argue? We would spar instead of fight, and sometimes things got a little rough." He smiled in memory, which scared Duo a bit considering the subject matter. "I would bait him just to get him going, because even though we'd bruise the hell out of each other, it usually ended up with us in bed."
"Not wanting to hear this," Duo complained with his hands on his ears, causing Heero to laugh like he hadn't since the accident. It was worth the reddened face Duo was sporting to hear the other man like that again.
"Still, he didn't inflict bodily harm on me when I wasn't prepared for it," the dark-haired man said with a mock glare. "I think we'll have to work on your sense of honor."
Duo grinned unrepentantly. "Can't take it, don't be a bastard."
Heero smirked. "Is that something like 'if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen'?"
It took Duo a moment to get the other man's meaning. "Dinner!" He exclaimed, hearing Heero snicker behind him as he pulled the lid off of the skillet. The vegetables were well done, but they hadn't been ruined. When Duo started to reach for the plates, Heero stopped him with a touch, seriousness replacing his earlier mirth.
"Listen... I don't know if I can... I mean... it may be a while before we can... "
Duo forestalled his explanation, placing his finger on the other man's lips. "I understand, Heero. It's okay."
When Duo reached for the plates again, Heero grabbed his hand, holding it. "If there's anyone that I would consider having another relationship with... " Dark blue filled with intensity. "It would be you, Duo. Don't ever doubt that."
Duo shut the cabinet as he closed the distance between them, hugging Heero tightly. "Thank you for telling me that. I'm here for you, no matter what, Heero. Friends or lovers, it doesn't make any difference. When it comes to being soul mates, there are no boundaries or limitations. Wufei may be gone, but his love is still here with us, and I think he'd want you to be happy."
When Duo pulled away, the look on Heero's face was odd but reassuring. Duo smiled; letting all of his fears melt away for the moment. After all, there was stir-fry to eat, and they needed all of the strength they could get to deal with the obstacles they would still have to overcome.
Quatre read his email, his face lighting up at Duo's message. Placing a quick video call to Trowa, the blond waited excitedly until the other man came on. He didn't even give him a chance to speak before asking, "Did you hear?"
Trowa nodded, a pleased look on his face. "It's good news. I'm glad Duo finally got through to him."
"Me too," Quatre agreed. He paused, feeling awkward, but then asked, "Do you want to visit them with me?"
The brunet smiled warmly. "I'd love to, Quatre. Even though we've kept in touch with them, it will be nice seeing Heero." Trowa then paused. "Maybe I could even stay with you for a while after we get back... if you don't mind."
Quatre flushed, thrilled yet apprehensive. "You're always welcomed here, Trowa. You should know that by now."
Green eyes met aqua, as Trowa replied in a strangely considering voice, "Yeah. I guess I should."
End Part 2
(:./tk/boundless2)
