27-Mar-2001
Title: Those Left Behind
Author: AstroKender
Pairings: 2+1,R+1,R+2
Rating: Angst! (I hope)
Warnings: Angstness ^_^
Spoilers: none.
Notes: This song, Must be Something, is by somebody I don't know from Deldensagen vom Kosmesiert. I don't own either.
Feedback: AstroKender@insight.rr.com
Disclaimers: GW isn't mine, go figure. So don't sue, k?
//Sometimes it gets
so hard without you
It seems to me
the whole world's away//
Relena leaned her head against the cool window of the limousine, struggling to ignore the mass of reporters as the bright flash of their cameras illuminated her wan face. The new Vice Minister made no attempt to hide her tearstained cheeks, nor the dark circles that now seemed to permanently reside under her sorrowful cerulean eyes.
The dark limo drove through the black iron gates and into the park. They drove past small white stones nestled among budding saplings and up a small rise before slowing to a stop. Pargan shifted in the driver's seat to peer at her solemnly. "Do you need any assistance, Miss Relena?"
The blond girl glanced behind her uncertainly. The mob of people seemed to have been halted at the park's entrance. The iron gate itself was open, but a small black-clad figure stood determinedly before the crowd, keeping anyone from entering.
The figure tilted its head slightly to stare up at her. The blonde bit her lip as a flash of pain seemed to constrict her heart. Dark sunglasses prevented Relena from looking into the figure's eyes, but she summoned a small smile of thanks anyway.
The dark-clad figure nodded back gravely and turned back to face the angry crowd. A strong wind rose up suddenly, causing his braid to fly around wildly. Relena swiftly swallowed her tears and looked back at her old retainer and friend.
"Thank you, Pargan. But I need to do this alone."
The old man nodded, his wrinkled face drawn with sympathy, as the blonde girl stepped gingerly out of the limo. Her hands swept over her dress self-consciously, attempting to smooth the wrinkles out of the black cotton fabric.
Relena hesitantly made her way to the top of the hill, reluctant to reach her destination. The bright green grass and the clear blue sky seemed out of place for such an occasion. As she topped the rise, a small stone statue came into view and she nearly lost her nerve.
"Now what would the world think if they saw their Vice Minister fall wailing to the ground?" she asked herself. "You're stronger than that, Relena."
Taking a deep breath, she closed the distance between herself and that small chunk of marble. The statuette was expertly carved into the likeness of a peregrine falcon in mid-flight. The bird's wings were spread out majestically and looked as though any minute they would stir, bringing the cold stone to life as it soared through the heavens.
The Peregrine falcon was the world's swiftest bird before it became extinct so many years ago. The stone bird's eyes reflected an inborn fierceness, but Relena saw the nobility and gentleness hiding underneath. "So like you..." she murmured.
There was no name on the statue, no inscription to tell the passing visitor whom this magnificent bird represented. But there was no need for one. His name was engraved in their hearts.
"Heero."
//Do you know that
do you have a clue
Why I was born
to live this windy day?//
Ignoring the fact that she might be seen, damaging both her image and her dress, Relena lowered herself onto the cool green grass before the monument. Resting her chin on her knees, she finally allowed the tears to fall as she cried out all the anguish in her heart.
"Why can't it be over?" she sobbed. "I can't bear the world's burdens forever!"
Calming down slightly, she stared at the small statue. "I envy you. You finally get the rest you deserved. Your mission was accomplished: the colonies were avenged. But what about the war? Where is the peace I preached about? Blood is still being shed, Heero! And you have abandoned us."
A few more tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away absently. "I didn't mean to blame you. You did more than anyone could ask for. I--I just...why do I have to lose you both?"
The wind swept over her gently, blowing her hair out behind her in a golden curtain. Two small birds flew overhead, singing happily. And the sun shone down brightly, mocking her pain.
"Why is it up to me to live on? Why must I be the one to stay in this harsh world day after day, no matter what I feel? Why is my life ordained to hold such a heavy burden as peace?"
Sighing, Relena slowly rose from the ground. The wind danced around her, caressing her face and causing her dress to flutter around her. Clear blue eyes gazed once more down at the statue, and she nodded. "I understand. It's because there is no one else."
Her fingers reached out to gently caress the marble falcon's outstretched wing. Reaching into her pocket, she carefully pulled out a small yellow flower that she had found as they were driving down the road. She laid it down beside the memorial with a smile.
"Rest in peace, Heero. It's a peace that you worked so hard to achieve."
//See the clouds spin
around tonight
In the darkening
sky as if it's alive//
The sun had set, taking the media and the young princess with it. Night had fallen, blanketing the earth in obscurity. But the darkness kept one of its denizens, as he slowly climbed the moonlit hill to the monument's shadowy form.
Duo stood in front of the statue quietly, his trench coat billowing out around him as the wind picked up, bringing with it swirling black clouds signifying an approaching storm. He closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling the rich atmosphere that had so struck his senses when he first came to earth.
But it was a small comfort, for when Duo reopened his eyes, the statue still stood. The braided boy opened his mouth, but no sound came forth. The fading moonlight caught his uncovered eyes, making them shine with unshed tears. His fists were clenched tightly at his sides, his nails digging small crescents into his flesh.
"I--"
He frowned, words still refusing to squeeze past the lump in his throat. Clenching his eyes shut in agony, Duo slammed his fist into the sculpture, snapping one of the delicate wings.
Duo fell to his knees, cradling his bloody hand. The boy's shoulders heaved with dry sobs as he pressed his forehead against the damp grass. Above him, in the darkened sky, rain began to fall to the earth, gently at first but then flying to the ground in sheets.
The huddled figure shivered as the rain pounded against him, soaking him to the skin. He flinched as lightning illuminated the sky, followed by the deafening boom of thunder. Duo's hands clawed into the wet earth as he wished to bury himself from the fury raging both outside of him and within.
His mud-covered fingers hit something solid and Duo slowly raised his head. A trembling hand slowly picked the object up as the braided boy scrutinized it in the darkness.
It was the wing-tip that he had broken off the marble statue. Duo's fingers lightly caressed the stone surface, feeling the ridges of each carven feather. Clutching the small broken piece to his chest, he smiled bitterly.
//And I think of you.
Oh, you holding me tight//
Closing his eyes, Duo let the memories wash over him. From the time they first met, to the first time they kissed, to the last time they had made love. All these memories swirled around him, warming his frozen heart.
Tears finally slipped down Duo's cheeks, mingling unnoticed with the rain as he imagined warm arms wrapping around him, holding him against a sturdy chest. He could almost hear the other's heartbeat in his mind. The rain hit his lips like the most tender of kisses and the wind whispered softly into his ear.
//'Ai shiteru.' //
Smiling sadly, Duo stuffed the small chunk of marble into his pocket and rose to leave. The rain had lightened slightly, no longer a pounding force. Lightning flickered in the distance, but the worst of the storm was over.
After taking a few steps, he paused. Reaching around his neck, he carefully removed his small silver cross. Kissing the warm metal surface, he reached over and hung the chain from the falcon's broken wing, right above a small, rain-battered flower.
"I leave tomorrow..." Duo finally whispered. "Wait for me."
//Now feel your warmth revive... //
The braided boy walked away, his shoulders hunched against the storm. Behind him, the cross gleamed briefly in the darkness as the wind swirled around it.
//It must be something
That comes,
flooding into my heart//
"Duo!"
Relena rushed to meet the soaking figure as it stumbled through the door. Her heart clenched as his face tilted slightly towards her, allowing her to see the warm smile that graced his handsome features.
"Hey, good looking. What are you doing up so late?" Duo gracefully kicked off his shoes and hung his jacket on the coat rack. Pushing his wet bangs out of his eyes, he gazed down at the petite blonde in her modest pajamas. Beautiful, as always.
Relena blushed and stammered out an excuse. "I--I was worried about you, the weather and all, and besides that I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd just stay down here and wait--"
Duo shushed her by placing a calloused finger to her lips. "Thank you." He became aware of how close they were and pulled away suddenly, staring fixedly at the small puddles he made on the wooden floor.
"I'm going to go take a hot shower and then turn in. You should do the same, Princess. You've got a busy day tomorrow."
Relena bit her lip. "It's the final battle, isn't it? Our future will be decided by tomorrow's events."
Duo shook his head. "The Earth's future will begin tomorrow, as well as the colonies. Your future will start." He looked up, a soft light shining in his dark cobalt eyes. "Good night, Relena."
As he moved to ascend the stairs he felt surprisingly strong arms grab him from behind. Relena clutched at him, sobbing.
"Oh, Duo! I don't want to lose you too!"
//There must be something
That leads me
through the space between.//
Duo turned around gently, his arms coming to wrap around the distraught girl. He smoothed back the luxurious golden hair and pressed a chaste kiss upon Relena's forehead.
"Shh...it's okay...I know."
Clutching his damp clothing, Relena refused to let go. As if he would stay by her will alone. But as she learned long ago, being rich and powerful didn't always get her everything she wanted. After holding her close for a moment, Duo's arms dropped to his sides.
"Relena, look at me." he commanded.
The blonde slowly raised her red and swollen eyes to meet Duo's serene ones. Staring into those indigo orbs she saw a small flash of sorrow. But that sorrow was quickly engulfed by calm acceptance.
"I have lived my whole life watching others leave me behind," Duo whispered softly. "It's time I caught up with them."
Relena shook her head. "But you can't! Then you'll leave me in exactly the same position that you were in! I don't want to be left behind any more than you do!"
//It seems so far away
We've come,
but it's only a start//
"Relena..." Duo tenderly caressed her soft cheek. "I wanted to die many years ago, but I knew there were things I still needed to do. Now my work is done, and I want to rest. But you," He placed a finger teasingly on her small nose. "Still have lots of stuff to do. Don't give up all the good you can do. The Relena I know isn't that selfish."
The blonde bowed her head. "I realize that. But..." She sighed in defeat.
"That's my girl." Duo lightly squeezed her arm. "Now get yourself up to bed before Pargan comes down to beat me silly."
Relena quickly latched onto his arms. "Stay with me."
"What?" Duo's eyes widened.
The young girl blushed but did not lower her gaze. "There were only two men I ever wanted to give myself to. Now one is...is dead and the other is going off to fight tomorrow, probably never to return." Relena's crystal blue eyes bored pleadingly into his own "Please, Duo. Give me just this one night."
"I..." Finding no words suitable, Duo swept the blonde into his arms, kissing her fervently.
//Tonight for you I pray
To the brightest star
on the heavenly screen...//
The two lay together quietly in Relena's bed, staring into each other's eyes. Duo reached over and pulled the sheet more snugly around their nakedness before cradling Relena in his warm embrace.
"You know, this will only make it harder for you." Duo warned softly.
Relena kissed him delicately before shaking her head. "It is always better to take a chance then spending your whole life in regret."
"But you made it harder for me," Duo murmured, caressing her uncovered hip. "A man would have to be a fool to leave you."
Relena smirked. "Well, the Duo I know was never a fool."
Duo's expression turned serious. "Relena, you know-" Soft lips silenced him.
"I love you." Relena whispered, before resting her head once more against his bare chest.
Duo stared down at the bundle in his arms as it snuggled closer. He gently kissed Relena's crown of golden hair.
"I love you too. Ai shiteru, Relena. From both of us." Gazing at the angel before him, Duo slowly surrendered to sleep.
End Part 1
(:./astrokender/behind1)
