30-Sep-2004
Title: Making Up
Author: tkmaxwell777
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 1+2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, Ficlet, Heero POV, Sap
Archived: Yep! www.gwaddiction.com
Original Christian & Yaoi Fiction at: http://writing.com/authors/tkmaxwell
Disclaimer: I don´t own Gundam Wing or its characters. Bandai, Sotsu, Sunrise, and the original Japanese creators do. This story is a parody of their defined universe and is in no way an official continuation of the original story. I consider all underage characters engaging in sexual activity to be Emancipated Minors or social equivalents under military service. This story is for entertainment purposes only. It is a fantasy and should not be read as a realistic representation of actual romantic relationships. Content is not intended to condone or condemn any of the lifestyles or viewpoints portrayed through the characters. I make no money at this. I write only for the pleasure of feedback!
Note: Just a little something to tide you all over until I get part 4 of NLTW done... *huggles* Thanks to all of you for your support!
I'm not going to apologize. It wasn't my fault this time, and he can just sit in there and sulk all he wants to. He was the one who started it. He shouldn't have made that comment to begin with, or I wouldn't have said what I did. It's all on him. I didn't do anything wrong. So why do I feel so bad about it? It's not like we haven't argued before. Actually, it's practically a miracle if we don't have it out at least once a week. Usually it's over something stupid, but sometimes... sometimes, Duo just seems to pick a fight and won't back down. I don't understand why, especially when he usually comes to me later and says he's sorry, so why does he even do it? It just doesn't make sense to me.
We've been sharing an apartment for two years now. We've been partners at Preventers for the past three. We've been through everything together from sickness to surgery, bad breath to hangovers, missions to nightmares – side by side. We know each other better than most married couples. Which I guess is why it hurts so much when we yell at each other. I'd never had a real friend before I met Duo. In the past five years, he's taught me what being a friend is. That's probably why I get so angry when he acts like I don't understand him. I know him better than anyone, so why wouldn't I understand? Why does he have to cloak everything with sarcasm, hide behind humor, and protect himself with anger? That's what upsets me the most. He may not lie, but he isn't all that honest either.
Of course, he's the one who always apologizes first, even when I'm the one to blame for instigating the fight. Last week, I snapped at him for no reason, he lashed back out at me, and before we both realized how much the situation had escalated, the mirror in the living room had lain shattered on the floor from where I'd thrown a book at it. I'd stormed off to my room, but Duo had come in with hot chocolate two hours later and had apologized before I could even open my mouth. Why did he do that? Why was he the one to say he was sorry when it should have been me that time?
I thought about that for a moment. Was he afraid that I wouldn't make amends? Did he think that I would stay angry with him indefinitely? It was a possibility that had never crossed my mind before, but now it made me wonder if I knew him as well as I thought I did. Was Duo worried that sooner or later, these arguments would make me so upset that I'd leave? Was he testing our friendship, just trying to see how far I was willing to go to be his friend? I was stunned. I was confused. Then I was ashamed. What reassurance had I ever given him that I felt as strong a bond for him as he did for me? I couldn't think of a single one.
I found myself on my feet and heading towards the kitchen. It didn't take me long to have a steaming cup of hot chocolate in my hand. I walked to Duo's door and knocked, waiting to see if he'd tell me to come in or go away. He did neither. I took that as his way of telling me that it was my choice – to reach out to him or walk away. I opened the door and stepped inside. He was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling intently. I could see him tense as I approached, but he didn't look like he was going to flee the room. I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to think of what he'd say in this situation. Then I realized that his words wouldn't be good enough; they had to be my own.
"I brought you some hot chocolate," I said softly. He didn't move. There was no outward sign that he'd even heard me. I sighed and then tried again. "I'm sorry... I didn't... mean those things. I mean… I did at the time, but not really." I blew out a gust of breath, frustrated because I wasn't saying it right. "What I mean is that I shouldn't have reacted like that, even if you were the one who started it." I looked away, still not happy with the words I was using. "It doesn't matter who's right or wrong. I don't care who started it or what happened. I just don't want to hurt you with the things I say or do. I know I haven't been a very good friend, but I want to be, even though..." I faltered, feeling helpless. I didn't know how to tell him that he didn't have to be afraid. "I'm not going to leave, Duo. I don't care if you bitch at me from now to eternity. I'm going to stay here and fight with you until you know that I care too much about you to lose my best friend over some stupid argument."
I heard his indrawn breath and looked over at him. His violet gaze was on me, and I could see the internal battle he was waging, the fear warring with hope. I sat the cup down on the nightstand and reached over to take his hand in mine. I'd held it last year in the hospital when he'd had his appendix removed, but I hadn't really looked at it then. For a twenty-year-old, it was worn and callused, looking like it would belong to a man of forty. I could see scars in some places from where he'd piloted his Gundam. I ran my fingers over his knuckles, suddenly amazed at his innate strength and fragility – amazed that someone like him would want to be my friend.
"I never thanked you for being there for me. You've always tried to... make things better." I looked at him, watching as he fought to control his emotions for a moment before I said, "I don't want to fight anymore, Duo. It just hurts too much, and I don't like feeling this way. I just want... "
"What do you want, Heero?" He asked, his voice a husky whisper.
It was at that moment when I knew exactly what I wanted. I'd never allowed the desire to be acknowledged, but as I held his hand and looked into his eyes, I knew what I'd been denying all this time. I felt my heart lurch as I said, "I want to know you as more than just my partner and friend. I want to share your life, and let you share mine." I couldn't believe how strong the feeling was now. "I want... I want you to let me love you."
One moment, Duo was lying there in bed, and the next he was kissing me like there was no tomorrow. It felt like something we'd done a thousand times before and like nothing I'd ever known at the same time. His lips were slightly chapped, but they were moving over mine with a fierce tenderness that I responded to immediately. We ended up with me lying on top of him, his hands buried in my hair, and mine stroking his face. When we pulled away long enough to breathe, he smiled at me in that way that lets me know everything is going to be all right.
"We're still going to argue," he admitted, his fingers caressing my hair still, "but at least making up will be a hell of a lot nicer. Kissing is better than cocoa any day."
I smirked at him, feeling the last bit of hurt fade away as anticipation took over. I then leaned down to claim his lips again, imagining how good the kissing would be 'with' the cocoa. Maybe I'd pick a fight or two just to see if reality would be as sweet as my mind told me it would be.
The End
(:./tk/makingup)
