Part 1
On the drive home, Heero had fretted though he remained silent. The normally boisterous Duo hadn't said a word. The silence had been deafening. Nor was anything said when they got back to Quatre's estate. Instead the two boys had simply walked up to their shared room. Duo had fallen into his bed fully clothed, asleep before his head hit the pillow. A soft, whistling snore soon filled the room.
There was nothing left for it. Heero stripped down to his underwear and crawled under the sheets of his bed. Oh god he was tired! But sleep eluded him. Instead he rolled on his side and through the darkness gazed at the American in the other bed. Something was very wrong with his friend. He knew that he had been hurt badly while OZ had held him, but mere physical pain couldn't be enough to have changed him so, could it? As he lay there watching the other pilot his mind skimmed over the memories of the break out. The first thing that occurred to him was to wonder why he hadn't just shot the other pilot. It was a question he had been wrestling with for the past three days. It didn't make sense.
You didn't shoot him because you never waste a resource. Duo is a good pilot and he still has a job to do. It was a good argument but he knew that there was another reason, one that continually eluded his grasp.
Duo tossed fitfully in his sleep. For a moment the American faced Heero and he couldn't miss the pinched and pained look on that otherwise angelic face. That queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach intensified.
Then it started.
Duo had rolled on his side again. At first he didn't move. That was when the sound permeated the air. At first it was soft whimpers, the kind a distressed cat would make. But they quickly in intensity. That anguished sound grated on Heero's ears. He couldn't stand it. Whatever Duo was dreaming...it was hurting him.
Tossing of the blanket of his own bed Heero placed his feet on the hard wood floor. The cold boards sent a shiver up his spine. Duo cried out again and a second shiver ran through the Japanese pilot. Silently he padded over to the other boy's bed. He carefully lowered himself onto the corner of the mattress but then he just sat there, unsure of how to proceed. Duo must have sensed his presence because the boy rolled over and gazed at the Perfect Soldier.
"I'm sorry...Heero...I failed...weak...so weak...I failed..."
Though the American's eyes were directed at him they were glazed and saw nothing at all. He's still asleep, Heero realized. Duo stopped speaking and turned over onto his back. He had long since kicked off the blanket and lay there, black in a sea of white. Hesitantly Heero reached out a hand, then stopped himself before he could touch him. He couldn't explain the sudden need to touch the other boy, to smooth away to frown that creased that beautiful face.
I...I want...to. To what?
Shaking his head Heero rose from the other's bed. Bending down he retrieved the discarded blanket. Clutching the dark blue swatch of cloth he turned back to his comrade. Duo had started fretting in his sleep again. Trying not to disturb the restless boy Heero carefully laid the blanket over Duo. But as soon as the fabric touched the boy...the world exploded.
A fist connected with Heero's jaw sending sprawling on the floor. Stunned Heero looked up to see Duo rising form the mattress something clutched tightly in his right hand. He didn't have time to identify the item before the American launched himself at the other boy, his face contorted in a snarl of rage. Hastily Heero tried to back out of range. Duo swung his arm out and Heero identified the large combat knife just before it touched the skin of his chest. Fire lanced across his torso as the knife continued it's sweeping arc. The cut wasn't deep but he could feel little trails of blood beginning to flow. He lunged backwards in an attempt to put some distance between himself and the other boy. His breath caught in his throat as he felt himself brush up against the wall.
There was no time for anything. As it was he barely managed to roll out of the way as the American pounced on the spot where he had been, the knife poised before him. But his hasty movement had a price, his ankle twisted painfully and he collapsed to his right knee.
The force or Duo slamming into his exposed back sent him sprawling against the floor. His cheek grated painfully on the floor boards. Then there was a hand on his shoulder, turning him over. Dazed he looked up to see Duo straddling him, knife raised, ready to plunge it plunge it home into his chest. But it wasn't the knife he feared. The look on the other pilot's face made him go cold. Rage, fury and homicidal intent cumulated into a dark sickening whole. But those eyes...
He isn't awake. He doesn't know who I am.
Working on reflex Heero grabbed the boy's wrist as the knife was brought down towards him. He never would have imagined that Duo could be so strong! Just the same thought he was Heero Yay, perfect soldier. His hands halted the knife's descent and he tried to pull it above his head, stretching out Duo's frame slightly. Twisting his hips, throwing his weight to the side and upsetting the other boy's balance. Taking advantage to the fact Heero flipped the Shinigami pilot on his back, their positions quickly became reversed though he took care to maintain his balance, refusing to fall victim to the same move he had just used on Duo.
Once the American was pinned beneath him the dark emotions that had distorted his face were quickly replaced by a look of abject fear. The transition was so sudden that Heero relented a little. But as soon as the other boy started thrashing about he remembered the knife. Grabbing Duo's wrists he slammed the right against the floor with enough force to make his teeth rattle. When the boy didn't release the knife right away he quickly brought up the offending hand and crashed it down again. This time the knife was sent skittering across the floor.
With the knife lost the boy under him seemed to shrink into himself. A tiny whimper issued from those tightly pressed lips.
"Duo!"
The boy didn't seem to have heard him.
"Duo! Wake up!"
Again, no response. Flustered and unsure of what to do next Heero released on of the boys hands...brought his hand back...
Slap!
Duo's head snapped to the side under the blow. And he left his head there as he blinked dazedly. Reaching out a hand Heero gently turned the other boy's head so that he had to look at him. "Duo?"
Violet eyes fixed on him. Recognition flash through those starling clear orbs. Then the angelic face contorted with fear/pain mixed with betrayal. Then the boy's eyes dropped down. In the dim light coming form the window he saw the thing red line that marred Heero's flesh. "You're hurt?!"
Releasing the other boy Heero slipped off and folded his legs beneath him as he regarded the American. He shrugged. "I..." Remembrance flooded Duo's mind. A keening wail split the air as Duo curled in on himself. Eyes squeezed shut he began to shake.
Heero was shocked! This was not the response he had expected. Granted he hadn't expected any of the events that had transpired this night...but, well...Suddenly his mind crystalized. Without realizing that he had done so the Wing pilot scooted closer and gathered the shaking form to him. As he sat there cradling the boy he began to rock slowly. A hand began to stroke the sweat damp hair.
Slowly the cries died down to whimpers and then even those became silent. But the shacking didn't stop. Ever so carefully Heero picked up the other boy and carried him back over to the bed. With infinite care he set the other down. But instead of leaving him Heero curled up beside him, trying to keep as much contact between them as possible. His instincts were telling him that this was important. And those feelings were so few and far between that he didn't dare ignore them.
For a while the two of them just sat in silence, Duo resting awkwardly in Heero's arms. "What happened," the Japanese boy asked finally, breaking the silence.
"I..." Nothing else would come out.
"It has something to do with the time you spent as an OZ prisoner." It was a statement, not a question. Duo hung his head but Heero felt it as he slowly nodded once. "Tell me about it?"
"I..." Again Duo was at a loss for words. Nothing seemed right. It took everything he had to screw up the courage to face that simple question. Finally, "They hurt me...He hurt me." That was the beginning of the torrent. Now that hew had started he could stop himself. "I thought killing him would make the pain go away. But it didn't. I just want it to stop. I just want to forget!
"But I can't...all I see is him. I thought you where him. And I couldn't take it. I wasn't going to let it happen again. Never again! I'd die first. But at the base...I couldn't. I couldn't get out...there was no way for me to escape. And I couldn't kill myself. They saw to that. And I failed! I failed in the worst way! I was weak. So fucking weak!"
At some point he realized what Duo wasn't saying. Though understanding became clear Heero said nothing as his partner railed on waxing about the past, bouncing from despair to self-loathing and back again. There was nothing he could do, he wasn't even sure if he should try...but he couldn't stand to see the other boy like this.
"He," he said finally, "the man in the hotel."
Duo started within Heero's arms. How had the Wing pilot seen? At lest some of it surely. After all he had been there to pick him up when he came walking out of the building he had set ablaze. But there was no point in denying it. Slowly he nodded against the other boy's chest.
"Duo," he said hesitantly, unsure of who to handle this. "You aren't weak. And you didn't fail." Then he was quiet as he waited for the words to sink in.
"But... I--"
Heero quelled the protest by hugging Duo tighter to him. He didn't miss the fact that his friend stiffened in his arms. Slowly though, as Hero stroked the back of Duo's head, he began to relax, melting into the embrace.
"You did your best. No one can say otherwise."
Should I confront Duo? Should I make him face what happened? Or would that only make things worse?
But as he regarded the quivering body in his arms he realized that very little could be worse about this situation. "He raped you."
There, he'd said it. So he waited for a reaction. That reaction took the form of a tremor of fear running through the other boy. "He used you and he victimized you. He did it. Not you. The choice wasn't yours." Again he waited but nothing changed. "It wasn't your fault." That statement echoed in the quiet room.
"How can you be sure?" Duo asked meekly.
"Because...I know you. It wasn't your fault." Daringly he leaned down and kissed the boy's bang covered forehead. "Get some sleep," Heero whispered as he arranged himself against the head board. And surprisingly enough, with Heero's arms still wrapped around him, the Shinigami pilot proceeded to do just that.
Part 2
Though Duo slept, it was fitful. Heero was roused from his doze by the sound of Duo mewling in his sleep. He's dreaming again. Heero watched the other boy, the American's face drawn with obvious distress. No, a nightmare, he amended.
At first he tried speaking gently to the other boy. When that got no response he gave the boy a shake. Mindful of what happened last time he had tried to rouse the braided young man he was ready to pin his arms if such was necessary.
It wasn't.
Duo's eyes flew open at the sudden movement, terror clouded those violet depths. Then he focused on Heero. The fear receded, though it didn't disappear all together, and a small smile twitched at his lips. With a long sigh he sank further into Heero's embrace.
"What was it," Heero asked quietly into the silence though he had a pretty good idea of his own.
Duo turn his eyes down, not wanting the other boy to see pain that question brought up. "Nothing...nothing I couldn't handle," came the subdued response.
Bullshit! Heero thought. But saying that to the American would only make him pull back into himself. That wasn't what the Wing pilot wanted. Instead he said, "It was him." He felt it as that simple statement rocked Duo to the core.
Slowly, trying not to jostle the other boy, Heero loosened his hold and sat up. Confused Duo lay on the bed, wondering what he had done wrong. Quiet cobalt eyes were on him, but he didn't feel worried or uncomfortable, the gaze wasn't menacing or impassive, just...quite.
"Do you trust me?"
Duo blinked. What? Why would Heero ask that?
"Of course I do," he answered automatically, surprise making him louder then he had intended. "Why do you--"
"Close your eyes."
Still confused Duo did as he was told as he lay on the mattress before the other boy. A feather light touch brushed against his cheek. "H...Heero?" The perfect soldier didn't respond, not with words. Whatever had been touching the boy's cheek vanished. But before Duo could wonder about it another very soft touch brushed against his lips. Somehow this touch was softer. Heero's kissing me? At first his brain couldn't comprehend it so he didn't react. Then he felt it, Heero's tongue delicately traced the line of his bottom lip. It wasn't a hungry touch and it demanded nothing but all the same Duo's eyes flew open.
Heero noticed his reaction and pulled back a little, endless blue eyes resting on him. "Heero? What are--" The Japanese pilot placed a single finger against Duo's lips. Surprise, more then the finger, silenced him.
"I want to show you something," the Wing pilot began. Again he bent forward, this time lightly kissing the braided boy's forehead. When he had puled away again he continued, "I want you to know what pleasure is like. I want you to forget the pain."
Duo was stricken. It felt as if he couldn't breathe! Before he had been captured he had toyed with the notion of approaching the beautiful perfect soldier but had never had the nerve. Now...
I can't do this! I can't, his mind wailed. At the same time a more rational thought appeared. This is Heero. I'm safe with him. If anyone could be safe with the perfect soldier...
Heero seemed to understand the internal conflict within him. "I won't hurt you Duo. Just...Trust me..."
Duo was still terrified. "H..Hai." What else could he say?
Heero removed his finger from the other boy's lips and reached up to lightly brush his palm over Duo's eyes. "Close your eyes," he said again.
As before he did as he was told. Then he went rigid as he felt those velvet lips kissing the line of his jaw. Duo sucked in a quick breath as those questing lips reached the hollow below his right ear. Then the oh so gentle caress passed over his ear, he shivered as Heero breathed lightly against it. "I won't hurt you," came the others again. Duo realized that he was tensing against Heero's administrations and tried to force himself to relax. He was only partially successful.
As Heero continued to nibble enticingly at his neck a pair of deft hands began unbuttoning his black shirt. As small part of his mind screamed with incoherent fear. It was happening again! No...it was Heero. Heero wouldn't hurt me! Not like that!
Then the shirt was open. The Japanese pilot's mouth never stopped even as he began the task of opening the white undershirt. He felt it when that one, too, was opened and a slight draft brushed across his chest. Gentle hands were leisurely tracing the line of his shoulders. Duo arched his back reflexively as the warmth of Heero's mouth encompassed his left nipple. With his mouth open and gasping Duo clenched his eyes tightly shut, feeling as though he was drowning in the marvelous sensation. Those deft hands were moving again, gliding down his torso. His abs contracted spasmaticly and he was sent gasping once more.
When Heero's hands encountered the waist band of the braided boy's pants he made quick work of the clasp. Long fingers slipped in past the white boxers and began stroking the boy's semi-erect member. Duo bucked under the touch, going rigid once more. The hand continued its ministrations as those pliant lips claimed his mouth once more. He felt those lips trying to part his own, that tongue asking for entrance. Almost reluctantly Duo opened his mouth just a little. Heero took advantage of Duo's offering. Slowly, tenderly he let his tongue explore the other's mouth. And he was rewarded by the feeling of the braided boy relaxing into the mattress beneath him. With practiced strokes he claimed Duo's manhood, feeling it lengthen under his touch.
Duo moaned soundly into the other pilot's mouth. It felt like his body was on fire, like he would burst from the sweet pressure that was building in his body. Then he felt the hand leave him and move around to his hips. With gentle urgency he felt his boxers being removed. Once more his mind screamed in abject terror as memories collided with reality. But the movement was so sensuous. And he lifted his hips slightly to aid Heero in his task.
Slowly the fabric was pulled down the length of his long legs. But Heero didn't stop at the feet, instead he removed the offending garments completely.
Duo was left to wonder what the other boy was doing as he didn't immediately feel his touch again. But before he could begin to fret his keen ear picked up a single, hushed word. "Beautiful." Duo's mind started gibbering senselessly as it tried to discern of what he had just heard. He...He wants me? The concept both alarmed and enticed him.
Then he felt those marvelous hands on the inside of his thighs...stroking...teasing. Duo couldn't stand it! He began to squirm, trying to get those hand to touch him were he needed it so badly. Then they disappeared. Duo whimpered his disappointment, but he didn't dare say anything.
There was motion to either side of his hips and he felt the mattress dip. As he realized that Heero had shifted his weight and a wet succulent warmth enveloped him. Eyes that had been shut flew open though he could focus on nothing. His hips jerks upwards almost of their own volition, seeking more of that wonderful mouth, before falling back to the mattress. "Uhhhn!"
The throaty groan drove Heero on, dipping his head, taking Duo all the way into his mouth. With slow, unhurried strokes, his tongue played along his length, eliciting even more sound from the writhing American. But Duo wasn't about to wait. Soon those slender hips jerked up again, as a desperate need to quicken the pace drove him on.
Taking the hint, Heero sucked harder, gently raking his teeth against the cock within his mouth as he complied with the boy's silent demand.
Duo became breathless as his shuddering body was rocked with sensation. He was so close! He could feel his member twitching, readying for release. Did Heero mean to...
With a hoarse cry Duo exploded. His seed shot into the other's mouth. He was barely aware of it as Heero greedily gulped it all down.
Almost reluctantly Heero allowed the flaccid member pull free of his mouth as Duo collapsed back against the bed. Then he walked himself up the other's body ad soundly kissed him, darting his tongue into Duo's mouth so that he could taste himself. This time Duo began to kiss him back! Heero's arms sneaked around him and with tongues warring they remained that way until they had to break apart for the simple act of breathing.
Awestruck Duo eyed his partner...his friend...his lover?
Then confusion took the place of rapture that clouded his him. For Heero was settling down into the bed, though he still held him, as though he would end it there. But...Doesn't he..? He must want to...
"Heero? Don't you..." He faltered. It was hard to find the words.
"Yes," came the honest answer. "But I won't. When you're ready and not before. I'll wait." Those cobalt blue eyes were dark with need and Duo knew that the perfect soldier would suffer in silence in order to spare him. But...Heero was wrong. He wanted to him to continue. No he needed him to.
"Please Heero...please...I..." He swallowed hard, trying to force the words out. "Take me. Please?" But when the Wing pilot didn't respond a small sob escaped him. "All I can see is him," he cried. "And I can't take it any more. Please. I want you. I need you. Make me forget! Please...make me forget..."
Then Heero was kissing him again, gently suckling away the tears that had begun to flow down his cheeks. "Shhh." The short haired boy shifted again and deftly lay him back on the bed. Then he rose and crossed their shared room. Duo watched him as best he could without moving. He watched as the other boy dug through the small chest of drawers he had claimed as his own. He must have found what he was after because he closed the thing up and came back to Duo's side.
That hungry mouth swamped his own, and Duo reached up to embrace his lover. Heero allowed him to do so and he wished fervently that it would never end. Then he jumped as something brushed up against his tight ring of muscle. Fear clashed with desire. He did want Heero inside of him and he forced himself to relax.
Gentle, lub slicked fingers worked at the surrounding area...waiting...teasing. Again Duo bucked as one of those questing fingers lid into him. But Heero, ever the perfect soldier, pursued his mission. Then Duo's world shattered as he found the spot. That specific little button that made him forget everything else. Duo thrashed helplessly as his entire system was over loaded with pleasure. He barely even noticed when a second finger joined the first. Together the intruding digits took him to new heights of ecstacy.
A third finger was added and Duo could feel his muscles being spread as Heero prepared him for what was to come next. Then the fingers withdrew. Duo whimpered it himself. His eyes closed in rapture. Heero...please...
He didn't have to wait long. The bed moved as Heero straightened and there was a swishing of fabric. Hands sneaked in his thighs, lifting them up so that they rested against the other boy's shoulders. He felt it when tip of Heero's erection came to rest against his hole. Relax, he counseled himself. But even though he knew what he had to do it was next to impossible. Then Heero was above him, slowly pushing hid way in. Duo arched away from the intrusion as pain, both real and remembered, lanced through his being. Eyes flew open wide as he gritted his teeth. Then the other boy stilled within, letting him adjust to the sensation. Eventually the pain subsided.
When Heero felt the other boy begin to relax he bean working his hips, slowly pumping in and out of that lithe body. With each thrust Duo shook under him as he hit his secret spot. Pain was quickly replaced by euphoria. And the Shinigami pilot moaned out Heero's name. His breath was coming ragged as his lover quickened his pace. A guttural cry ripped its way free of his throat but it was a sound of purest joy.
Firm fingers kneaded his pale buttock. There was a quick intake of breath and then Heero groaned low in his throat. Once, twice Heero thrust hard into him, almost desperately. Duo felt it as the other boy's seed spilled into him. Heero...thank you. That was all the thought his enraptured mind could manage.
They stayed there for a moment, Duo languishing with the feel of the other boy inside of him. Then Heero pulled out.
When he was free of that sensuous cavern, Heero stood up, gazing down as the form of the braided boy who had such a blissful expression on his face. In a gesture of true tenderness he hadn't known he was capable of, Heero grasped the covers of the bed and carefully pulled them from beneath the other boy. He then slipped in next to Duo and covered them both. Entwining his arms about the other he kissed Duo's forehead and whispered into his hair. "Get some sleep. I'll still be here in the morning."
Wrapped in that warm embrace Duo did just that. And this time the dreams stayed away. For the first time in far to long he experienced a peaceful slumber.
It was mid-morning and the breakfast he had made was almost ready. But there was no sign of Heero or Duo. So Quatre left the kitchen, ignoring Wufei's complaint that he should hurry up, and climbed the stairs to the third floor where the pilots shared room was.
Being the polite, well bred young man that he was, the young heir rapped lightly on the wood of the door. Then he waited. But there was nothing. He couldn't even hear any sound coming from the room. What was going on in there?
Cautiously he opened the door. "Hey guys! Breakfast is almost- Eeep!"
Startled blue eyes came to rest on the tableau of the two boys resting in the bed cuddled together. Duo was still blissfully asleep, snuggled up against his bed mate, his hair having come loose at some point in the night. But Heero was awake. The Japanese boy had his arm about the other's shoulders. With his free hand Heero raised one extended finger to his lips in a shushing motion. Even more surprising than the gesture was the sparkle in those ordinarily cold eyes.
Quatre felt his cheeks beginning to burn. "Uh, sorry," he said lamely as he quickly ducked back into the hall, closing the door behind him.
Leaving the room behind he began to walk back towards the kitchen. Trowa found him on the stairs and put a strong arm about his little lover. "Where are Heero and Duo?" he wanted to know.
"I don't think they'll be joining us this morning," the Arab replied, a little distracted. "Come on. We should get our breakfast." With Trowa's arm still wrapped about his slender waist they descended the stairs together.
Quatre found himself thinking on the heavenly expression on the American's face. Good, I'm so glad they found each other, he thought to himself. Now maybe Duo's shattered soul can begin to heal.
The End
(:./aiyoku/soul4)
