March 2000
Revised March 2002
Title: Calling Your Bluff
Author: Ebonydove
Warnings: sap, language, Duo POV, slight Relena bashing
Pairings: 1x2 A little game of poker anyone?
Author's Note: Yes, it's true, I am an insomniac, and the boys keep torturing
me to write these instead of vacuuming, so please don't sue. It's just for fun.
This is the last part in a three part series. Hope you like! Duo reminds me so
much of myself sometimes, it's scary.
I didn't want it to look like I was chasing after him. That would be so Relena-like. But I also didn't want to stick around after being rejected either. Once I blurted it out, even against my own advice, I had to know. Call it sick but I had to hear him say that he cared for me (not hoping for more than that) or to have him tell me to fuck off. Either way, there was no turning back now. I put my cards on the table, now I wanted to call his bluff.
Of course, Heero being Heero, wasn't going to make it easy for me to track him down. Quatre and Trowa watched me as I peeked into the kitchen and looked around. I knew they knew, but I really didn't care right now to explain what was going on. Even to Quatre who I knew would understand. After all, he was the one who told me that I was lying to myself. That I was just playing the part of a fickle flirt so I wouldn't get hurt if Heero didn't feel the same way. I think he knew I wasn't really just playing games with Heero though. One thing I can truly say about Quatre, he knows how to read people. He got me pegged.
I just gave them my quirky smile and set out to search the rest of the safehouse. It wasn't that big, and going out was not an option with Oz hunting for our heads.
Where would I go? Study? Too obvious.
Hanger? Just left there.
Bedroom? I wish.
Roof? Hmm. Possible.
I went up the stairs taking two at a time. At the top I looked into Wufei's room mostly because he had the door halfway open but also to observe him doing his push-ups for a moment. I didn't think he'd answer me, but I thought I'd ask him anyway. Wufei and I had barely known each other and I know for a fact that he saw me as a stupid, reckless American. The reckless American part was true enough but I not yet had the opportunity to prove him wrong about my intelligence. That would have to wait for another day. One huge thing to accomplish at a time, wouldn't you say? Besides, since I knew they all knew about my crush on Heero, there was no sense in keeping up the charade so I asked him. "You see Heero?"
"Roof." Wufei grunted between lifts.
I opened the window at the top of the stairs and climbed out onto the roof. It was a clear night and the bright stars shone overhead. We were on the third floor and I couldn't resist walking to the edge of the slanted roof to peer over the side to the ground below. Why did I suddenly feel nervous? Maybe I was feeling nervous because he could push me off it. The roof to this part of the house wasn't very big, and again, I highly doubted he didn't know that someone had crawled through the window and was standing behind him. I also highly doubted that he didn't know who said person was either.
Still even if he knew that it was me, he didn't turn around. He just kept sitting looking out at the dull lights of the city. I sat next to him, close enough to feel the heat coming from his body. In the hanger it was anger, but now his heat felt comforting.
It was warm out. Almost muggy. That was one thing I loved about Earth that you couldn't get on the colonies. They could simulate rain and sun and even snow, but they couldn't reproduce the warm, muggy air, filled with moisture and smelled like rain about to let loose. I took a deep breath almost forgetting Heero was still there, when he grumbled something. "Huh?"
"Apology accepted."
Okay that's a step in the right direction. But he still was holding on to his cards... with a death grip, I might add. I think he just drew a line. Trying to finish this with accepting my apology, huh? Blowing off my confession almost as easily as he had tried to brush off my apology in the hanger. Well, when I see a line... you know I have to cross it. "So you're okay with that?" Come on Yuy, I know you know what I'm saying here. I shut my eyes and could feel my whole body tense up.
This was the moment I dreaded. The moment I pretended wouldn't matter, that I ran from, that I had joked about and even lied to myself about. I felt the irrational fear start to creep up from my toes, up my spine to the very tips of my hair. I don't think I had ever been so on edge as I was right then. He was quiet for so long that I thought he's ignoring me... again.
"Hai."
It was then that I realized that I was holding my breath. I almost passed out from lack of air when I heard him answer so softly I had to strain to catch it. Holy shit, he's okay with the fact that I love him? Funny, I didn't know if I was okay with it. I turned to him and looked at his face. No glare, no confusion, just Heero. I shook my head a bit and stood up to leave. I didn't want to know any more.
That's a lie. I made it to the window when I realized it. I needed to know. "Heero?"
"Hn?"
"Do you?" Please don't crush me Heero, please...
I was already mentally conducting damage control for the rejection I thought was coming. After all this time, the flirting, the missions, me saving his ass and he saving mine, it came down to this one singular moment that could completely destroy me or not. Never before did anyone's feelings towards me really matter. I mean, yes, the ones I left behind at Maxwell's Church certainly did, but they were different. I meant all the girls and guys I had led on, used, chased, ran from, all those paled in comparison to how heavy this moment felt to me. I really meant it when I told him I loved him. It was the truth, I did.
"Hai."
I really tried not to. I swear I was kickin' myself when it started to happen. I actually was angry with myself that after so long of keeping myself from crying that I was on the verge. I swallowed a few times as I turned my head away from his bright blue eyes to see Wufei walk out of his room and down the stairs. A few minutes later as I sat in silence and looked anywhere than at Heero, he returned and gave me a confused look as he came up the stairs with a bottle of water and a towel. I must have looked like an idiot outside the window, looking in with tears streaming down my face. I remember trying to smile... trying. Shaking his head back and forth, he just went into his room and closed the door.
Well I asked for it. I called his bluff and he called mine. It was out there hovering in the heavy air. No more lies, no more games, just us. Me and Heero. I turned around and leaned against the side of the house at him. He hadn't moved from where he was sitting. I quickly wiped my eyes giving myself a mental kick in the ass for letting the tears fall. It had been a long time since I let them and the first time ever they had been seen by another human soul. My face felt warm as I blushed from embarrassment. And I do not embarrass easily.
No more running, I reminded myself, as I went and sat back down next to him, a little closer than before. I felt his arm rest across my shoulders and I exhaled loud enough for him to flash me a look. I just shook my head and sniffled. Once I regained my composure I looked back into those beautiful eyes, the ones that held my soul. "Is that the truth?"
"Hai."
"Good." I leaned forward as obviously as I could and pressed my lips to his. I shut my eyes so I missed his expression, but it didn't matter once I fell into that kiss. It was sweet and soft and seemed like it went on for forever when it had only lasted a few moments. He raised his thumb up to my cheek and wiped away an errand tear making me blush again. Damn teardrops. Then he kissed me again. It was heaven.
We sat there almost all night in silence. At one point I put my head on his shoulder, cheesy I know, but I was getting tired and his arm was heavy. He put his head on top of mine and we remained there for a while before going back inside the house. As we passed Wufei's room I glanced inside and noticed the wadded up tissues next to his bed and the traces of crimson on them and smiled. I guess Wufei had seen more than he had bargained for tonight. His fault for being in the last room on the hall next to the only window that you could use to get out onto the roof.
I had faced my worse adversary, my worst fear...myself. Maybe the truth wasn't so bad after all. Sure beats lying to yourself and now as a result, I have Heero, who... I almost don't want to say it out loud... loves me. This could be a good thing. Looking at Heero, a very good thing.
Wow. Life never ceases to amaze me. And the best part is now I don't feel I have to keep all those aces up my sleeve.
fini
(:./ebony/games3)
