April 2001
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
Nailed to tree is a calendar with the word "BRILLIG" listed as the month. A bear hops by on pogo stick feet, doing back flips every few hops.
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the mame raths outgrabe.
Several ninja mice skateboard by, as well as a nose missing it's owner. Wufei stands in the middle of all it of, scratching his head. "You'll pay for this." He calls up.
'Beware the Jabberwock, my son,
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch.
"Sounds lovely. I suppose warm cuddly kittens are out of the question? Like that other nice author had?"
Beware the jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious bandersnatch.'
"Believe me, if I see one, I'm definitely shunning it!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought.
Wufei chops vines out of his way with his sword. "Now this is more like it. This I can understand. I'll slay this foul beast!"
Then rested he by the tum-tum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
A ranger comes up to him. "Son, something I can help you with?"
"Be vewy vewy quiet." Wufei puts a finger to his lips. "I'm huntin' Jabberwocks."
The ranger frowns. "Can I see that sword?" *looks it over* "Sorry, but this isn't regulation. It's against the gaming laws to hunt Jabberwocks with anything but a vorpal blade."
"A what?"
"A vorpal blade. See? Illegal to hunt um without it."
"Where do I find one?"
"Here you go."
Wufei stares at a white plastic butter knife the ranger has handed him. "What's THIS?"
"A vorpal blade."
"And what am I supposed to do? Butter the damn thing to death?? People actually kill Jabberwocks with this?"
The ranger laughs. "Of course not. The thing rips them to shreds before they even make a dent in it. Have a good hunt." He walks off, carrying Wufei's sword.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
*Treize runs out waving two flashlights.* "What are YOU doing here? You're not a Jabberwock!" Wufei stamps his foot. "You're just that guy they make me sleep with!"
"Sorry, but Jabberwocks are an endangered species. It wasn't in our budget to get one. So I'm playing the part. Grrr, " * Treize snaps at Wufei's hand *
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
"Oh, forgot that part. BURBLE!" Treize yells in Wufei's face.
One! two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snickersnack!
"Hey, what are you doing? Cut that out." Treize dodges as Wufei jabs at him with the plastic butter knife. "That hurts!"
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
Wufei marches back through the woods with Treize in a headlock
'And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
"No, don't touch me! I HATE you. First you let Maxwell ruin my floor and now this??"
O frabjious day! Calooh! Calay!'
He chortled in his joy.
"You just keep chortling. You're going to hear from my lawyer!" Wufei promises.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
The End
(:./lasha/jabberwock)
