26-Jun-2003
A Gundam Wing/ Wizard of Oz crossover. I know it's probably been done
before... but I haven't read any... and I assure you, NOT LIKE THIS.
Credit
goes to my two friends, who came up with the base idea, and told me. I simply
added, enlarged, and embellished... and filled out the cast, but that's not
important.
Disclaimer: I don't own. I've had dreams involving them, but my psychiatrist says I should
hide those from the public.
Pairings:
Take what you will... a little bit of anything, really... It's very vague.
Let me know if you like it!
Duo was eating. All in all, this wasn't very strange. The human body was prone to sudden fits of dizziness and pain if one did not eat. Also to be considered was the fact that Duo always ate. In fact, there was a running bet between the guys (held in the strictest of confidence) in an attempt to guess when Quatre would run out of food. At the moment, Duo was winning. Though he wasn't officially in the pool.
That he was eating Quatre's food should also not be surprising. They had all congregated back to the blond Arabian, now sharing one of his many, many mansions together, generally relaxing and taking a break, post-war. While this should be no surprise, we've strayed from the original point.
Duo was eating, and this was not in the least bit unusual.
What was unusual, if you stopped to examine the room where Duo sat, was that the television was not on, nor was the radio, no. Duo was sitting, curled up in an oversized leather recliner, quietly eating a sandwich with one hand, The Wizard of Oz in the other.
It was also unusual, one should point out, that the four remaining pilots were watching Duo with a kind of subdued awe, or perhaps trepidation. Peering around the wall that formed a division between this room and the next, each watched Duo silently, unwilling to disturb the former Gundam pilot.
Perhaps their behavior was only unusual in that it was being caused, inadvertently, by Duo himself. It wasn't that he didn't or couldn't read; obviously all the Gundam pilots could. It was what happened once Duo finished a book that had sparked all of the unusual behavior in the Winner household. Each remembered the last time Duo had read anything other than a mechanics magazine.
A hushed whisper was drawn from the four observers, though none could be sure who spoke.
"The Narnia series."
All four shuddered.
Duo was bright and cheerful, but he tended to take his stories a little too seriously. The moment he had finished the seven novel set, he had become convinced that a portal to the other world existed thought one of Quatre's armoires. It had taken the combined effort of all four pilots to prevent him from reducing the mahogany closets to nothing more than firewood, and the Arabian had still lost two heirlooms in the process.
"Of course, that could have been Maxwell being funny again." Wufei's whisper was louder than intended, but Duo was too engrossed with his book to notice.
"I don't care if he was being funny or if he really believed it. I just don't want him stealing all of our shoes and painting them red with sparkles."
"Or insisting on getting a puppy and naming it Toto."
"Or calling Lady Une 'Auntie Em'." All four shuddered. No one wanted to see the former Colonel's reaction to that would be.
"So, what are we going to do?"
"Mission: Prevent Duo from completing that book."
Three sets of eyes blinked. "That's great Yuy." Wufei drawled, "Any ideas as to how?"
"I've got one."
Quatre disappeared back into the hallway, only to reappear seconds later, a vacuum trailing behind him. He quickly stepped past the dumfounded faces of the pilots and into the room, pausing to plug the machine into the wall before beginning to vacuum the room nonchalantly.
Duo ignored him, lifting his feet and turning a page as Quatre moved to vacuum by the chair, well used to the Arabian's clean-freak tendencies.
Carefully, Quatre thumbed the vacuum to its highest setting. He then straightened and turned, bringing Duo's book directly into the path of the hose.
*Shulmp*
The book disappeared into the vacuum and Quatre tried his best to look surprised as the remaining pilots were forced to groan. Did he really expect Duo to believe that that was an accident?
"Oh my gosh Duo! I'm so sorry!"
Apparently...
"It's ok Quatre. Don't worry, I'll get it."
Four eyes leapt out of their respective heads as Duo stood and jumped into the still-operating vacuum. Quatre dropped the hose and backed away, the other pilots filing into the room, staring at the machine warily.
"What the hell was that?"
"I think Duo jumped into the vacuum cleaner to retrieve his book."
Wufei fought the sudden urge to smack Trowa across the head. Barely."I know that.
How!?"
Trowa shrugged and looked to Quatre, who shrugged and backed further away from the vacuum, which was now angrily growling, its hose flying back and forth through the air. "You fixed it last."
Three sets of eyes turned to glare; Trowa blinked. "What?"
"Um Guys?" Quatre's voice was strained. "I think we'd better do something about the vacuum." He pointed to the cleaner, which was spinning around the room and crashing violently into furniture.
Heero shrugged as though the answer was obvious. "Turn it off."
Quatre grimaced. "I already unplugged it."
Colour drained from four faces as the vacuum stopped its spinning and seemed to face the group.
"What should we do?"
"Run?"
"I don't run from weak machines!"
"Attack?"
"I don't think attacking a vacuum cleaner is the brightest idea we had."
"Hn."
They stared at the machine for a moment in silence. Simultaneously they rushed for the door, but by then it was far, far too late. The vacuum swelled to almost five times its natural size, then exploded with a very large *bang*.
There was a moment of silence, then everything faded rather dramatically to black.
Heero fought the urge to groan,
knowing that any sound could alert an enemy to his presence. Not that he
expected any sort of enemy, considering he had passed out in Quatre's living
room, but old habits die hard. Sitting up he quickly noted several things.
1) Quatre, Trowa and Duo were sprawled in various positions not far from him, and
their clothing was perceptively different from what it had been the last time
he had seen them.
2) They most certainly weren't in Quatre's living room and
3) Heero was wearing a dress.
Blinking rapidly and forcing himself to stand on surprisingly weak legs, Heero ignored the others and glanced down at himself. Overtop the green tank-top was a blue and white checkered gingham dress, and attached to his arm was a brown wicker basket.
Dropping the basket, Heero grasped the material of the dress firmly and pulled, causing it to rip away from him. Thankfully, he still wore the spandex bicycle shorts underneath. Happy to be rid of the dress, and not willing to question why he was wearing one in the first place, he quickly glanced at the others, who were now waking up. Violet eyes met has own as Duo stood, brushing himself off and helping Quatre up as well. Trowa stood, and each seemed to take a moment to assess the situation, determining with practiced efficiency exactly what was needed at that moment.
"OK Heero. Where the Hell are we and why are you wearing a dress?"
Then again, old habits die hard. Waitaminute, a dress?
Heero glanced down and frowned. The blue-checkered-apron-thing had returned, which was strange, mainly because Heero was certain he'd removed it a moment ago: it was still crumpled up in a ball a few meters from his feet. So what was it doing back?
The former pilot didn't reply to Duo's question, choosing rather to tear off the dress again, tossing it on top of the other to the side.
Heero glared at the pile as Duo, Quatre and Trowa watched confused, wondering why he seemed to be telling the pile of torn fabric to "bugger off'. In all reality, Heero was silently telling the clothes to 'bugger off and if you come back I'll just tear you off again because I'm a Gundam pilot and I don't know when to quit so ha!'
Seconds later the dress re-appeared around Heero's form.
The pilots watched in silent amusement as Heero removed the checkered apron thing with force, only to have it return a few seconds later. They probably would have said something, but more pressing matters came to mind.
Quatre turned to the two remaining pilots. "Do either of you know where we are or what happened... and why are you dressed so funny?
There was a momentary pause as each pilot examined himself.
Quatre was dressed in what could only be described as a polar-fleece bodysuit, a string of fraying yarn wrapped around his face. All was coloured golden-grown.
Trowa looked disgusted as he peeled a metal pizza pan from his chest. He was dressed in the most ridiculous pantsuit he'd ever seen, and considering he worked for a circus, that said a lot. On top of the pantsuit and pizza pan were metal gloves that were quickly removed and a tinfoil funnel taped to his head. Removing the funnel took a little effort- it had been taped to large quantities of his dirty brown hair. But after a bit of work, the pizza pan, gloves, funnel and various other pieces of shiny metal had been removed. Though the acrobat couldn't do much about the pantsuit.
Duo took one good look at himself and cursed loudly, causing the others to break out of their personal trains of thought and spare him a glance. Dressed in an outrageous suit made entirely of mismatched patches, he quickly began to scratch at every accessible part of his body.
"Duo? What's wrong? And why are you scratching?"
Duo cursed again, never pausing in his movements as he began to strip down to his boxers. Sighing he gingerly took the top and shook it forcefully, sending bits of hay flying everywhere. Laying the shirt over his shoulder, he began to repeat the process with the pants. "I was scratching because hay is DAMMNED itchy! God... that was bad... " He scratched his shoulder for a moment, seeming to think about something. Coming to a decision, he began to re-dress. "Haven't got much in the way of options yet... Oh, to answer that earlier question, I figure we're in my book."
"That's ridiculous."
"Of course it is."
"He can't be serious."
"Of course he is."
Duo nodded and began to tick off points on his finger. "Firstly, we're dressed like the characters, with Trowa as the Tin Man, Quatre as the Lion, and Heero as *snicker* Dorothy."
"And who are you supposed to be?"
Duo's voice dropped suddenly. "I'm the Scarecrow."
In the distance, if you strained to hear it, strands of music floated through the air, carrying with them the chorus of a forgotten tune: If I only had a brain...
Duo ignored the strange music as he continued on, listing points as he went. "Secondly, we were in some sort of explosion, and now we're here in la-la land, so we're either in my book or asleep.. I already tried to wake myself up. It ain't working."
Quatre's voice was carefully neutral. "There's got to be another explanation."
Duo shrugged and picked up Heero's basket, which was still lying discarded by the side of the path they now stood on. "Yeah. We could be dead. But I expected a lot more fire and brimstone and a lot less rainbows from Hell." He pointed to the sky, where no less than three arcs of colour proudly hung.
Trowa nodded, surprising everyone with his next comment. "How are we going to get back home?"
Quatre, Duo and Heero exchanged a glance. Duo was the first to speak. "I figure we've got to finish the book."
"What?"
He shrugged again as he headed down the path, explaining as he walked. "In anything like this, the main characters, (in this case us) need to help save the world or whatever by finishing the story and acting as the protagonist. I figure that's our best bet."
Dumbstruck, the three pilots searched for something to refute Duo's claim with, but found nothing. They really didn't have many options, and it did seem reasonable to try to finish the story. They'd at least find out what was happening, and hopefully find Wufei, who still had to turn up. Sighing collectively, they followed the braided boy/scarecrow down the path, pausing only when he stopped at the pile of blue and white checkered fabric that covered the ground ahead.
"You really don't know when to quit, do you Heero?"
"Hn."
Heero was still wearing the dress, the testament to his efforts to remove it spread across the path in a mound, perhaps enough material for a hundred odd pinafores spilling ahead of the four. They blinked rapidly, deciding not to pursue the topic- Quatre had managed to remove his yarn mane, and Trowa was left with only his pantsuit. While neither they nor Duo were comfortable, at least they didn't look as ridiculous as Heero did at that moment. Carefully stepping over the clothing, Duo lifted the lid to the wicker basket. "I wonder if there's any food in here... WHAT THE HELL!?!?!!!"
The pilots tensed as the American dropped the basket, each reaching for guns they no longer possessed as the basket moved, rocking slightly. A few seconds later a small, gray form emerged, snuffling and huffing the whole time.
"What the hell is that?"
The animal's head rose at the speaker's voice, showing large, expressive blue eyes. It gave a plaintive whine and moved towards the Tin Man, who picked it up after a moment's hesitation.
Quatre's voice was soft. "Trowa, do you know what that is?"
"It's Toto."
"Duo, that's a hippo."
Duo sighed. "Ok, so It's not a cute black puppy. But he's obviously supposed to be Dorothy's- I mean Heero's pet. Why else would it be in the basket?"
"A hippo the size of a football is supposed to be Toto. Why do I find that hard to believe?"
"Quatre, think about that for a moment. Heero's Dorothy. The 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' 'Oh Auntie Em!' 'Tomorrow' happy-go-lucky Dorothy. I don't think it's supposed to make sense."
"That's Annie."
"What?" Duo turned to face Trowa, who was setting the hand-held-hippo on the other side of the clothes pile. The now-turned-tin-man shrugged slightly, motioning for them to continue down the path, the Hippo following close at his heels.
"Tomorrow, it's a song from Annie, not The Wizard of Oz."
The pilots stared in wonder, Quatre the first to recover. Following Trowa down the path, Duo hid a snicker as he caught a glimpse of a large, golden brown tail hanging from the Arabian's costume. Mind fighting to remain calm, Heero continued after, deciding that perhaps he had in fact died in the explosion and this was Hell...
"So, which way Duo?"
The dirt path they had followed now forked, the trail to the left continuing straight on, the one to the right slipping behind a hillside. Duo smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "First of all, why are you guys asking me?"
"It's your book."
"None of you have ever seen The Wizard of Oz??!!" Duo stood amazed as each pilot shook his head, claiming only the slightest knowledge stemming from third and fourth sources, or Duo himself. "God, what kind of childhood... Nevermind. It doesn't matter anyway. But I would have assumed at least one of you would be familiar with the songs. Like 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road.'" He motioned to the path to the right, which was indeed paved with yellow bricks. "That's the way we're heading."
They turned down the path silently, Duo humming a faint tune that quickly became annoying. Quatre cleared his throat in an attempt to distract the American and prevent Heero from strangling the boy. Grasping for a safe topic, he realized that there was something none of them had confronted yet. "I wonder where Wufei is?"
Each pondered the thought for a moment, and Duo shrugged, looking over his shoulder at Quatre. "I guess he either didn't get caught in the explosion, or maybe he was separated from us."
"I wonder who he'll be?"
"What do you mean?"
Quatre smiled. "Well, if he did get sucked down here, he'd be dressed up like we are, right? Who do you think he ended up as?"
The Scarecrow thought this over, Dorothy and the Tin Man grateful at the Lion's attempts to keep him occupied. Finally Duo returned Quatre's smile, shaking his head. "I'm not sure, Q-man. I figure he could be the Wizard, that seems like something he'd end up with. Maybe the Porter, he's certainly grouchy enough... of course, it'd be as funny as all hell to see him as the Good Fairy, but I'd doubt that'll happen. I guess we'll just have to see... "
Duo began to hum again and Quatre grimaced as Heero tensed. "So, where are we headed?"
"I'm not sure, but judging by the group of houses up ahead, I figure we're pretty close to-
"Welcome to GundamLand!!!!!!!"
The pilots stopped in their tracks at the very edge of the village as a horde of tiny, SD Gundams poured from the various buildings, all singing and cheering happily.
Trowa blinked as a tiny Heavyarms cartwheeled past them.
Quatre paled as a deformed Sandrock uncorked a bottle of ethanol and began to spray it over the crowd of other Gundams like champagne.
Duo fought the urge to sit down very suddenly as a miniature Deathscythe passed the group, did a double-take, backtracked, saluted its former pilot, and continued on.
Heero swore.
The Gundams were dancing around the group and village in general, singing in horribly high and giggly voices.
"We welcome you to GundamLand, GundamLand, GundamLand
And in the name of GundamLand
We'd like to welcome you to GundamLand!"
Keeping his voice low, Duo leaned in towards the others. "Not very imaginative, are they?"
"Of course not, they're only machines after all."
The four turned towards the new voice, eyes wide as they recognized the speaker, even if he was dressed in an absolutely ridiculous plum-coloured suit, tails and top-hat included.
"Howard?!"
"The mayor of GundamLand, at your service. How can I ever repay you for all you've done?"
Quatre blinked. "Exactly what did we do?"
"Why, you freed the Gundams of course! When your house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East, her spell on all of us ended! Thank you!"
Quatre looked pained. "Duo, what is he talking about?"
Duo frowned. "Well, in the original story, Dorothy's house gets picked up by a tornado, and it lands on the witch he's talking about. The witch dies and Dorothy gets her ruby slippers, which is what the Wicked Witch of the West wants. Anyway, our problem is that we didn't come down in any house, and that this is where we meet the Witch of the West."
"What's the problem?"
"Heero's going to have to wear the ruby slippers."
They both glanced at the 01 pilot, who was sending them both his Glare of Death. (Hereby shortened to G.o.D)
Obviously, this wasn't going to be easy.
Mayor Howard led them towards their 'house', chatting all the way. As they reached the corner, each recognized the deep red military uniform lying in a crumpled heap, the last testament to the Witch of the East. Heero was the first to speak. "What was the witch's name?"
"Une"
The four shuddered.
Howard nudged Heero slightly. "Take her ruby pistol, as thanks for freeing our village. Please, it's the least we can do... "
Heero didn't reply, but didn't move. God only knew what could go wrong if he went near the thing. Une wasn't one to trifle with even on her best of days, and he seriously doubted 'Wicked Witch of the East' counted as a 'good' day.
There was a puff of smoke and a slight popping noise behind the group and the pilots turned, instantly on alert. They were once again forced to stare agape as the pink-tinted smoke cleared, leaving a white-haired figure in its midst.
Clothed in a beautiful yet gaudy dress consisting of layers and layers of pink and white tulle; Zechs Marqueise, or rather Milliardo Peacecraft stood, the Good Fairy of the North, looking as disgruntled as ever, complete with a small tiara and star-shaped wand.
"Pick up the gun Yuy."
"Zechs?" you know a sight is disturbing when Heero Yuy looks and sounds surprised.
"Yes, now pick up the damn gun. You'll need it."
"Sorry for interrupting, but what the HELL is going on!? And why are you wearing a dress?" Duo stopped, mind reeling at the realization that this was the second time today he'd asked that question, and it was becoming more disturbing each time...
"I'm Zechs, the Good Fairy of the North, here to tell Heero about his quest to find the wizard and get home and... uh... hold on a sec... " Zechs reached behind his back and into nether-space to pull out a thick sheaf of papers. Flipping though them and mumbling to himself, he pulled a small pair of wire rimmed reading glasses from a pocket in the dress and began to recite from the page. "I'm here to tell Heero about his quest, and to tell him to take the now defunct Witch of the East's Ruby Pistol, which will help him on his travels along the Yellow Brick Road. So." The stack of papers disappeared, the reading glasses following seconds later. Pointing with his star-tipped wand, Zechs motioned to the house and pile of clothes. "Pick up the damn gun so I can take my coffee break already. It's not going to do anything, Une wasn't a very good witch. Spent all her time pining over the Troll King, Treize. She went to pieces when he died, so none of her spells are outliving her. Now grab the gun."
Trying to process the information, Heero retrieved the gun as Quatre stepped towards Zechs. "Um, Millardo, if you're supposed to be the Good Fairy of the North, aren't you supposed to be... well... nice?"
"What's your point?" Zechs shrugged as he watched Heero study the gun. Satisfied that it wouldn't blow up in his hands, he quickly slipped it into the waistband of his bicycle shorts... Or attempted to, only to be brought to a halt by the dress he still wore. Suppressing the urge to shoot something, he attempted to holster the gun several times, always stopped by the checkered material of the pinafore. Sighing and sending the other pilots his patented G.o.D to tell them one mention of this would have them eating through a straw for the rest of this trip, Heero dropped the gun into the oversized pocket in the front of his dress. Glaring at Zechs, who simply smiled, Heero walked back to stand with the rest of the group.
Zechs nodded to Quatre, a phony smile plastered across his face, voice half an octave higher than necessary. "Nice? Very well. Heero, use Une's gun to help you on your journey. You will face many hardships, but if you believe in yourself, everything will be all right. And if you wish to go home to visit your Auntie Em ever again, you must find the Wizard of Oz by following the yellow brick road... "
Zechs motioned to the path which led out of the village. "But beware the Wicked Witch of the West, who's sister you have killed. The witch will most certainly seek to cause you harm... " Zechs straightened and his voice returned to normal. Pocketing his wand, he turned to the brown-clad Arabian. "There, happy now?"
Quatre was beaming. "Yes, actually... "
Trowa looked thoughtful. "When are we likely to meet our new enemy, this witch?"
Zechs shrugged. "We should be hearing a horribly bad voiceover with a lot of cheap effects in a few seconds. Despite the horrible personality, the Wicked Witch of the West knows just when to make an entrance... "
True to Zech's rather morose prediction, the sky turned black as lightning rippled across the sky, thunder rolling from the heavens to accompany it. Several bolts of lightning shot down towards the group, making dramatic explosions all around the village, yet not actually striking anyone. As the smoke began to clear, so did the Gundams, disappearing back into their homes until the only people left were Duo, Trowa, Heero, Quatre, and the bored-looking Zechs.
The air crackled as a machine-like voice filled the air, sounding all the world like a cheaply dubbed police recording. As the pilots searched for the source of the voice, Zechs simply shook his head and began to file his nails.
"Heero! You killed my sister! You'll pay for that indignity! I'll get you, all of you! I'll get you-and that dammed Cathi-hippo too!"
The sky immediately cleared and the sun shone brightly as the pilots glanced from one to another, each more confused than the last.
"I don't get it. Where's the witch? She's supposed to appear, not give some cheesy voiceover. I was hoping Heero could just shoot her and save us a trip... "
"That was certainly odd. I wonder what she meant, 'Cathi-hippo'? None of us actually named it, did we?"
Heero and Duo shook their heads as Quatre inquired. He turned to face Trowa, who was staring at the tiny hippo with a sense of horror. His face was white, and he shook his head back and forth at the blue-eyed creature in his hands, whispering "no... no.." as a constant mantra. Quatre laid a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder, hoping to find some sort of explanation, but Trowa could do nothing but shake his head and whisper to himself.
"Trowa, what's wrong? Are you alright?"
"Cathi-hippo... Cathi... it can't be... no... "
"Can't be what T-Man?"
"Catherine?"
Hearing her name, Cathi- or seemingly Catherine the Hippo, scurried further into Trowa's arms to nuzzle his neck, apparently confirming his horrified statement.
"Catherine's the hippo? How is that possible?"
Quatre shrugged as Trowa set the tiny blob of grey down and glared at Zechs, who had enough sense to back up a few steps. "That would be my cue to leave. If you want out of those costumes, and want Catherine back, I'd suggest you go visit the Wizard. He's the one with the power around here... " Zechs disappeared in a puff of pink-tinted smoke, leaving the pilots to choke on the suddenly foul air.
"Now what Duo?"
Duo again fought the urge to throttle someone, in this case Quatre, as once again the motley group turned to him for guidance. The same group that refused to let him drive because of his infamous sense of direction was now telling him to lead on. Great.
Instead of losing his temper however, Duo ran his fingers through his bangs as he counted backwards from ten, then turned to face the questioning blond. "I don't know for sure Quatre. I figure we'd better do as Zechs said and go see the Wizard, but things are different here. The gun for one, and the witch. It's strange, but things seem really warped... But considering we've been sucked inside my book, I guess the 'weird shit factor' would change things... Our other problem is that the Wizard is a fraud, so he won't be able to help us. I figure that'll probably be Wufei, since Treize is dead, if he got sucked in with us... It's still bugging me that the witch didn't show, but I guess it can't be helped. We'd better just head out and hope for the best."
"So we just follow this road?"
"Yep. Follow the yellow brick road. It's a classic."
"Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road! Follow follow follow follow follow the yellow brick road!"
"Duo, what are they doing?" Heero's voice had a strangled warning quality to it.
"I think they're singing. It's a bit of a musical, you know... "
"Oh you're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz! He really is-
*BANG*
The SD Gundams scattered as Heero pocketed the now smoking Ruby Pistol, a miniature Deathscythe lying in a heap a few feet from the group. Each pilot shared a glance and decided they wouldn't say anything, choosing instead to head out while they had the chance, sans musical sendoff.
Duo sighed, the last to leave, shaking his head at the horror of a singing Deathcythe. "You just weren't meant to sing and dance buddy, sorry... "
"Man, we should have asked for some food before we left GundamLand. I hadn't even finished my sandwich." Duo plopped down on the grass next to the road. "Let's take a break, we've been walking for hours."
Quatre nodded, sighing as he sat next to Duo, Trowa following suit seconds later. Heero glared for a second, but quickly joined the group.
Laying back, Quatre glanced at the sky in somewhat-horror. "Duo, why are the clouds shaped like hearts, flowers and bunnies?"
"Quatre, it's just an illusion. Your mind associates the shapes with things you are familiar with, like-
Quatre shook his head. "No, Heero, I mean it. Look." He pointed: Sure enough, the sky was filled with hearts, flowers and bunnies.
Duo shrugged. "I'm more concerned about the fact that the bunnies are moving. A lot. In not-cloudlike-ways."
One of the bunnies hopped its way across the sky and began to nibble on a flower-cloud. Someone's stomach growled. Heero made to speak, when a second stomach growled. And a third. There was a long pause, but eventually Heero sat up.
"Alright, lets go look for food before-
*grrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllll*
"Looks like we're not the only ones who might be a bit hungry, eh Heero?" Duo grinned and sat up, nudging the Japanese boy in the ribs. Heero glared, but offered no comment. Standing, the four continued down the garish yellow road.
"What are those?" Quatre looked from the line of trees on the road to Duo and back again. Nearing the edge of the road were a cluster of five trees, branches heavy with baskets, each one covered with a bit of red and white checkered cloth. Duo took one look at the trees and let out a large 'whoop' of joy.
"Wahoo! Lunch Trees! Finally, some food!"
Launching forward, Duo grabbed the nearest basket and unhooked it from the tree's branches. Stepping back, he discovered his mistake; arm-like branches were already winding around his midriff and legs. When a branch tore the basket from his hands, Duo turned to face the three dumbstruck pilots. "Um, guys? A LITTLE HELP!?"
"What could they possibly do?" A face appeared from behind the branches, engraved into the trunk of Duo's captor. It looked surprisingly familiar... As the four other trees revealed trunk-faces, Duo could only curse.
"Doctor J? O? S? No Way!? HELP!" Turning to face the pilots again, Duo saw that Trowa was now holding a silver axe. "Trowa! The axe!"
Tree O spoke: "You can't fight us. You stole our lunch, so we'll make YOU lunch. That seems only fair, correct?"
Trowa looked at the struggling Duo to the new-found axe. " I don't know where it came from, it just appeared."
A fingered branch wound its way around Duo's neck. "Who CARES!? Just USE IT!"
A gleam appeared in Trowa's eye.
Sometime later found the four pilots enjoying a wonderful picnic lunch next to a roaring fire. Even though it was already warm, Trowa leaned over and added another branch as Quatre poked the already burning wood with a larger stick. Wiping his hands on the tablecloth/blanket, Duo grinned.
"Tell me that this trip hasn't been all bad."
The End
Notes: Firstly, I know there's a LARGE problem with this: Duo gets sucked into the Book, and I seem to be following the movie. There a few reasons for that. The main one being that 90% of the human race is familiar with the movie version, but few know what the book is actually like. To give them a quick heads up- Frank L. Baun (Or whatever his exact name was) was most likely on some sort of a hallucinogenic drug when he wrote this. Its DAMMNED... odd...
Also, I am more familiar with the movie itself, and it's easier to typecast the characters. Plus the movie has bad songs. Can't really say that about the book...
So that's why.
Enjoy? Like something? Don't? Feedback is that unattainable dream I have... you know, the one where you reach for the mirror, and KNOW that you could push through to the other side... but you just don't wait long enough... and your hand hits the glass...
Woah. Deep. I need to kill a party clown.
(Um, unless you get it, ignore that... )
~ "I am the Breeze of Wisdom, I am
the Wind of Insanity" ~
~ "All I want is a good home, a
warm bed, and complete global domination." ~
(:./elemental/oz)
