20-Feb-2002
Title: Running With the Devil/part four
Author: Ebonydove
Warnings: yaoi, violence, language, and mention of abuse.
Author's note: Quatre POV. Takes place during the series but no spoilers. For
you Quatre fans out there, this may leave a bad taste in your mouth, but I don't
regret it. Feedback appreciated, but apologies not guaranteed.
Pairings: 2+4
I remember coming to and hearing the radio playing 'In the Still of the Night' and I listened to it for a moment before the pounding in my head became too hard to ignore. I reached up and felt the lump where I had bounced my head of the side window during the crash. My hand was broken where I had smashed it into the dashboard and was screaming with a pain that shot up to my elbow. It was hard to breathe, and even though I had adjusted the seatbelt before, it just about crushed my windpipe on impact. At the thought of the seatbelt, I turned to Duo. Only then I realized he hadn't been wearing one.
With luck only Duo Maxwell could possess did I see it was a miracle he hadn't been thrown from the car. But he looked rough. And he wasn't awake. It surprised me that it wasn't the sight of all his blood that scared me, but it was the thought that he was hurt and we were still four miles away from the little hunting cabin. Even though Heero and Wufei were meticulous about keeping the safe houses stocked with certain things, there was really no way to tell when you were going to need one or where, so I was sure that this one didn't have a huge supply of medical supplies. It then occurred to me that I should be surprised that we were alive at all.
I unbuckled the belt and reached over to put my fingers to Duo's throat and felt for a pulse. It was steady and strong and I breathed a sigh of relief. I watched as the blood oozed from his nose where he had hit the glass. The spiderweb on the front pane made my eyes water. To hit the glass that hard he was lucky he didn't snap his neck. It had a few smears of blood from Duo's face that gave me a shiver. He also had a gash on his head in his hairline that was bleeding pretty good, but I couldn't tell what other kinds of injuries he had. He could be bleeding internally and I wouldn't really know.
Trowa and Heero were so much better at dealing with bad situations like these. They had been trained to know what to look for when someone was this banged up. Although I had survivalist training I didn't have a medical degree and was starting to panic. I could hear my breathing becoming harsher and I realized it was loud enough to drown out the music on the radio. I think I was hyperventilating and I prayed to Allah that Duo was going to be okay. It would be my fault if he died. I ran a shaky hand through my hair, hissing when I hit the lump, when I heard a soft groan from Duo. "Duo? Can you hear me? Can you tell me where you're hurt?"
I watched his eyes blink open as he tried to get his world to focus. When he tried turning his head towards me I heard him hiss in pain. "God damnit Quatre. You're supposed to steer into a skid!" I blinked at the smile that creeped over his face and the fact that there was no malice in his voice snapped me out of my pre-hysterical moment.
I was still stunned by the knowledge he was alive and took a few more deep breaths. I was no good to either of us if I couldn't calm down and focus. The crash would raise attention. Although we were miles out of town it wasn't going to go unnoticed by anyone else driving down the road. As deserted as the road seemed to be. I smacked the radio off and turned to him. "Duo, I'm so sorry. I Panicked. Tell me where you're hurt."
"Head hurts. A lot. Concussion maybe. Whiplash definitely. Nose isn't broken, and I can still breathe." He paused and closed his eyes. "I think I broke a couple of ribs, they hurt like a bitch, and my chest feels tight, but other than that I'm all right."
"Do you feel anything internal?" I held my breath as he sat quiet for longer than I thought necessary to respond to my question.
"Don't think so." He let out a little chuckle that startled me. "Why does it always have to be my freaking ribs? A shoulder, a knee fine, but no, it's always the ribs. They hurt the most and take the longest to heal." I felt a wave of relief pass through me at his mirth. It gave me the motivation to open the door and crawl out of the wreckage.
I was truly amazed that we were alive. We hit the ditch that ripped the underpart of the wagon practically off, then bounced off the bridge which was metal and tore off the front part of the car, and then finally the tree had forced our halt. It really didn't even look like a car anymore. Just a twisted pile of yellow metal with some wood paneling sticking out here and there. The windows were intact, but where I had hit my head and Duo had smashed his face they were cracked and huge spiderwebs glistened. It was smoking too. The heat from the engine sent spirals of steam up into the frosty night air. I went around to the other side and helped Duo out, leaning him against part of the car that wasn't too mangled.
"Man Quatre, when you wreck something you really total it, huh?" He smirked as he too looked at the remains of the wagon and wiped some of the blood onto the black sleeve of his shirt. Duo was being Duo. He was trying to hide his pain and fear under the humor but I watched as he began to shiver and his breath puffed out in tiny, pain filled pants.
I went to the back and opened the rear door to find our supplies strewn all over the back seat and bed. I gathered them up as best I could and stuffed them into the only duffel we had as quickly as I could with only one hand. Then I grabbed a coat and shoved it at Duo. "Here, this is the only thing I have to keep you warm." It was still snowing which was a good thing, because it would cool the car and cover our tracks, but it would be harder traveling in. It then occurred to me that I wasn't cold, at all. Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I knew that with shock I should be shivering by now, the way Duo was.
I looked at him carefully and started to worry again. He was hurting, and we needed to get moving fast, before the shock settled in and I wasn't able to get him to safety. The coat was more like a spring jacket and had been in the car when we stole it along with a few other odds and ends. Neither of us had worn a coat because we hadn't expected snow or to be on the run like we were now. "You okay to move?"
I watched Duo's pain filled eyes assess me carefully, settling on my hand. "You broke your hand."
Yeah I was aware. I was trying not to think about it. Or that it had stopped throbbing and was for all intents and purposes numb. I found myself smiling to reassure him. "It's okay. We need to get moving, Duo. We've got some serious ground to cover before anyone comes looking for survivors from that crash. When they see the car is stolen they'll be after us. I only hope that there is a transmitter at the safehouse so we can get a hold of someone for a pick up." I saw the information register with him and he shoved himself away from the side of the car with a wince. "Do you want me to help you?" I asked as I went to wrap my good arm around his waist.
"Naw, I'm good for now." But then he turned to me with no humor in his expression at all. "Besides, I'm gonna need you to keep your strength up and keep me awake, k?"
"What do you mean?" I was feeling very cagey as he turned more serious. I felt an odd tingle start from my gut and work its way up to my throat as I watched the blood trickle from the gash on his head.
"Remember when I said I didn't have anything busted up inside?" I nodded already dreading what he was going to say. "I'm not sure about that."
"Shit, shit, shit, shit." I ran over and he smiled at me again.
"Now I know we're fucked when you start to cuss, Winner."
He started moving off into the woods with me on his heels carrying the duffel. "Duo, tell me what to do."
"Lead on good sir, I don't even know where the damn place is, so I'm sure Oz won't find it. Unless you have some breadcrumbs you wanna tell me about." He laughed, then sucked in a short breath and shook his head a bit.
I tried to ignore the wind that was starting to pick up. If it wasn't for that, it could have been a beautiful, but brisk walk in the snowy woods. I found myself chuckling to myself which made him turn and look at me strange. My arms felt the air blowing over them and through my hair but I still wasn't cold. All I had on was the short sleeved, pink shirt Duo stole for me and my black pants.
"Don't lose it Quatre. I meant it when I said I need you to keep me awake. Talk to me as we walk."
I knew what was happening. He was trying to make me feel better, but he was in bad shape. I needed to keep talking to keep him from passing out from shock, or from the cold that was nipping at our hands and ears I had to keep him moving or leave him. He knew it and so did I. I focused on what I should talk about. He had the gift of the gab, and although I certainly wasn't shy, I found myself at a loss as to what to say. I knew bits and pieces of his childhood, mostly from what Trowa had told me he had heard during one of Duo's more violent nightmares. He had suffered a great deal.
We trudged through the woods as the minutes ticked by and I still hadn't begun to speak. Then I found myself talking about something I hadn't thought about in a very long time. "When I was a kid, about seven or eight, my father left for business and I had to stay with an aunt."
"What was her name?"
"I don't remember. I remember her face though. She had warm brown eyes and dark hair that was speckled with white. She lived in a modest home with four floors, the topmost I was told not to go up to." It was odd how I could remember every detail of that old house even after all the time that had passed.
"Why not?" I laughed at Duo's voice. He sounded like a little kid hearing a bedtime story.
I frowned and did shiver at the thought. "Because I had a cousin who was much older than me, who lived in a room up there and I was told to leave him alone. He was an artist and liked his solitude, and my aunt strictly forbade me to go up there." I paused and stepped over a fallen tree limb and jogged up to Duo who was still walking a head of me and pulled his arm to stop. I turned us east to go in the right direction.
He was sniffling from the cold and the blood that hadn't completely stopped flowing from his nose. His lips were tinged with blue and his face was as pale as a ghost. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and smiled at me as we moved on again. "One day while she was gone on some errands I snuck up to the fourth floor and crept into my cousin's room. It was dark and smelled richly of incense and I loved the feeling of the place from the moment I entered. It was warm and cozy and all around were multi colored paintings of abstract shapes and scenes. I was looking at one when my cousin returned from where ever he was and found me there."
"What happened?"
"Well, I thought that he'd be angry and tell me to get out, but he just closed the door and put a finger to his lips. He said I could come up there whenever I wanted as long as I kept it our little secret. So for the next few days I would go up there and watch him paint. Then one day while watching, I fell asleep."
I took another breath, not believing that I was telling Duo something that I had kept a secret my whole life. I woke up to find him staring at me. I was just a kid, so I didn't question him when he started to slowly remove my clothing, or when he began to start touching me. He touched my face and back and other places, and then he painted me." I let out a little laugh, boarding on hysterical even to me. "He didn't paint on my body, he painted me on canvas. I watched as I took shape in brilliant colors of oranges and reds and blues. It was like magic. It made me feel good. He made me feel good."
I hadn't realized that Duo and I had stopped walking and were now facing each other in the falling snow. "Then one day I went up to the forth floor and found the door locked. When my aunt found me sitting on the stairs she pulled me back down so hard she almost broke my wrist. She told me that I was going to go home and that my cousin was never allowed to see me again and that what I did was a terrible, wicked thing. That I had disobeyed her and that my father was going to be very angry with me when he saw me. I returned home and never heard or saw him again. It wasn't until much later that I had realized what happened. But at the time I was just a kid and didn't think him touching me was wrong."
Duo put his hands on my shoulders. I had finally begun shivering. My breath puffed out and I watched it rise in little white swirls into the night sky. I felt the hot tears start to roll down my cheeks as he pulled me slowly to him in a warm embrace. "You were just a kid, Quatre. It wasn't your fault."
"I thought he was doing something beautiful, and I found out that it was something horrible. My aunt never told my father what happened, and the paintings had disappeared along with my cousin. When I ran off and agreed to pilot the Gundam, I felt the same shame. That I had disappointed my father. I was trying to do something that made me feel good about doing and it was just as horrible. There was no beauty in it at all."
He pulled away from me and looked me square in the eyes. They were the oddest color, Duo's eyes. Not blue, not purple. They were amazing and they were looking at me with fiery resolve.
"You are beautiful. And you piloting your Gundam and what happened in that room is not even close to being the same. Don't ever be ashamed of who you are, Quatre. You're the kindest, more sincere person I've ever met. You got taken advantage of. You were just a kid. Some times bad stuff happens when you're a kid. But it makes you stronger, it keeps you going."
He smiled at me warmly and ended our hug. We stood facing each other, our breath coming in little puffs of steam. Wiping some of the tears from my eyes, he placed his hands on each side of my face before slowly leaning forward and pressing his lips gently to mine. They were so cold, but soft and I relished in the moment as my eyes slid closed and I opened my mouth to his warm tongue. We kissed for a few minutes in the falling snow before he broke the moment and leaned back to look at me with his lopsided smile and his bright, soulful eyes.
"Now we should keep going. It's colder than a witch's tit out here. My nipples are hard enough to cut glass!" He squeezed me again and began to walk off.
I broke out in laughter with him as we continued our wintry pilgrimage and dried the rest of my tears as the breeze stung my windblown face. The cold was finally starting to touch my heated skin. Only a mile and a half more to go and we could rest.
End Part 4
(:./ebony/running4)
