Title: Saying The Words
Author: tkmaxwell777
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 1+2/1x2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Sap... sap... and more sap... :) Heero POV... with a twist of lime...
Archived: Yep! Thanks Lev :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. I simply borrow them and write smooshy stuff...
I never will forget the day it happened. We were just sitting on the couch, watching a vid-disc together, when he looked over at me and said out of the blue, "You know that I love you, Heero... right?"
I turned to stare into violet eyes filled with an intensity I only ever saw when we were... physically intimate... with each other. I didn't quite know how to respond to those words, but I knew I had to say something. "I do now," ended up coming out of my mouth before I could think of anything better.
He seemed to search my face for something, and apparently not finding it, turned back to looking at the screen. "Just wanted to make sure you know it means more to me than just sex," he said softly.
We'd been living together since the last war, almost two years ago; we'd been lovers since the first one had ended. We'd never actually had 'that talk' though. I'd always assumed he just wanted to keep things... friendly. It was odd for him to be so open with me about his deeper feelings. Duo is not someone that says things like that in passing. He's very... protective... of his emotions, almost more so than I am.
"It's never just been sex to me either," I blurted out, feeling my face flush slightly. We'd never spoken of our relationship like this before, and it was hard to say something so... well, you know.
He turned back to look at me, his eyes seeming almost hopeful. "Does that mean... do you... maybe...?"
I just sat there while he tried to get his words to form a coherent sentence. When I'd determined that it wasn't going to happen, I decided to interrupt his attempts. "Duo, I've always felt something for you stronger than friendship... and deeper than physical pleasure."
His eyes did something beautiful then, lighting up with something I'd never seen there before. I could tell that those words meant more to him than anything I could have done physically to convey my feelings. We just looked at each other for a moment until he spoke; his voice was so husky, it made me shiver.
"The kind of something that makes your heart feel weak, but gives you strength to fly?"
I nodded at him, in awe that he was saying these things to me, his eyes seeming to bare his soul as he spoke. I could do no less than answer him in like manner. "The kind that makes you want to cry but gives you reasons to laugh instead," I replied, trying to let my blue ones be as open.
He ran his fingers over my face, his touch almost hesitant. "The kind that makes you feel like the other person owns you body, heart, and soul, and yet gives you the freedom to be the person that you are?"
I couldn't believe how he was expressing the very feelings I had locked inside my heart, treasured in moments of introspection, hidden in fear of loss. "The kind that makes you afraid to let the other person see all of your scars, but gives you the faith to trust them to help you heal them." It was a statement and a plea at the same time. I needed to trust him as he trusted me. It wasn't as easy as it should have been.
The look in Duo's eyes turned to something soft yet sensual as he maneuvered onto his knees, sliding over to straddle my lap on the couch. I placed my hands on his hips, pulling his body closer to mine as he leaned forward to kiss me. It was passionate and gentle at the same time, and it left me completely breathless. He always did this to me, made me want him more than anything, using his body to take me places I'd never been before he had come into my life, but something was different this time. I could tell as the kiss continued that he was trying to rein in the feelings that were trying to overwhelm him, trying to take this into a more physical realm to keep from dealing with the emotional. Mischief replaced the tenderness I'd seen in his eyes, and I felt a sense of disappointment. He always used humor much the way I did silence.
"The kind that makes you never want to leave the apartment so you can keep your lover to yourself, yet gives you the desire to show him off so everyone will know that he's yours," he stated, grinning madly.
I smirked at that one, knowing that Duo loved to go clubbing just for that reason, but I kept my mind focused on what we had said before it. I thought about our life together, remembering the laughter and tears, the hurt and pleasure, the good times and the bad. We'd shared all of those things, being there for each other in a way I'd never thought twice about. I looked at him, as if for the first time, and knew that I needed to tell him so many things... before it was too late. He was trying to lead us back to familiar territory, but he was the one who had led us to this place, and I wasn't ready to leave yet.
"The kind that makes you wake up early just so you can watch your lover sleep, but then entices you to wake him in order to make love," I replied, feeling embarrassed and emboldened at the same time. We'd never called it that before. We'd always used the 'manly' terms for it.
Duo looked at me, shock from my words evident on his face. There was something in those eyes again that spoke directly to my heart. He was fighting it, trying to deny it, and yet wanting it so badly he ached. Suddenly, he just seemed to surrender to it. "Make love?" he asked softly, all defenses down for the count.
I had said so many things already, but I hadn't said what he really wanted to hear. Gazing into those vivid violet depths, I realized that deep inside he didn't want to evade this any longer. For whatever reason, he was as ready to hear those words, as he had been to say them, even if he was still a little afraid. I could not deny him something so important; I didn't want to. Those words he wanted me to say had been true ever since we'd first touched as more than friends, and it was time they were spoken - time that they became part of my vocabulary for good.
"I love you, Duo," I whispered, smiling softly as his breath caught. "Ai shiteru." I couldn't stop saying it. "Je t'aime... Te amo... Ich liebe dich..." I found myself suddenly silenced with a hungry kiss, a surprising wetness trailing down my cheeks as he plundered my mouth with abandon. The tears weren't just his.
We didn't watch the rest of the disc. We didn't go out that night either. In fact, we didn't even get back out of bed after Duo pulled me into our bedroom. We spent the entire evening... and night... making love like it was the first time.
And perhaps... it really was.
The End
(:./tk/saying)
