It's a crossover between El Hazard and Gundam Wing.
Duo was shooting hoops after school when suddenly his basketball starts to bounce away from him. "Hey, I just bought you!" he yells as he follows it down the hall through the school.
Sally Po sees him chasing his ball, and thinks that he's just goofing off, disobeying the rules again, so she starts following him. Hilde sees him walking right by her so she runs after him to scold him for not saying hi. Meanwhile, Treize, principal of the high school, becomes rather curious about what was happening, so he starts to follow as well. But try as they might, none of them quite catch up to him.
The door to the basement of the school is open and the basketball falls down the stairs. He runs after it after flipping the lights on, but then the minute he gets down to the floor of the basement, it gets dark again. "Eh, what the hell is this? I don't get this. Is my basketball cursed?"
He notices the basketball is rolling down the passage with a light at the end. "He would've left it there and gone back up the stairs except he then hears Hilde's voice cry out, "Duo!" That makes up his mind, he's running into the passage after his basketball. It stops at the foot of someone standing in the middle of the room.
The person appears to be a handsome young man about his age standing while asleep. He's wearing a green tank top and black biker spandex pants. He has spiky dark hair. Duo spends an entire minute looking at him. How can he sleep standing up? he thought. He was about to back out of there when the guy opens his eyes and says, "Duo, is it you?'
Duo says, "I don't know you. I just came here for my basketball. You're not a student here, are you? How do you know... Mmph," he says. The mystery man had wrapped his arms around Duo and was kissing him with great enthusiasm. Duo tries to jump back in surprise, but he's encircled by a grip that's like iron. He feels a tongue touching his lower lip, then his upper lip. Duo suddenly feels a tingle in his chest that he has never felt with Hilde and shivers. The other person unties the ribbon holding his braid in place and begins to finger-comb his hair and massages his scalp. Under the gentle, but insistent pressure of the guy's tongue, he ends up his mouth in a moan. He feels a tongue teasing his tongue, prodding it as if to trying to get it to move. Then Duo tentatively licks the other person's lower lips and sucks hungrily on the tongue that has entered his mouth. .
The other person breaks off the kiss and looks at him with a smile. Duo just stares at him, thinking, He's beautiful when he smiles. Why are his eyes glowing like that at me? Embarrassed by the silence, he says, "I don't know your name, but you probably know my tonsils by now."
"I waited for you 10,000 years. I'm so glad we finally meet after all this time. But there's no time now, I have to send you to El-Gundam, the magnificent world. When you get there, say hello to me."
"What, you say?" A bright white light fills the room, just as the three other people enter the passageway behind Duo.
THE ARRIVAL
Duo wakes up and sees himself in the middle of the countryside. It seems to be high noon. "What happened?" Then he sees Sally Po sprawled nearby. "Sally Po, are you OK? It's me, Duo."
Sally Po wakes up and says, "Duo... " Then she sees that they're not at the high school. "Where are we?"
"I was going to ask you."
"I was following you down this passage in the basement and then... We need to find the nearest phone or city. I don't recognize this place at all." Then she notices several mobile dolls walking towards them. "I don't recognize them either. I wish I had my pistol."
Suddenly, one of the mobile dolls tries to jump her. She gives it a good kick in the stomach. It sails off into the sky at a high velocity. "Oh, I'm good, but not this good," she says, before knocking several of the mobile dolls into the distance. "Looks like my strength got a major boost."
Gee, I wonder if I have any superpowers as well, he thought. He cracks his knuckles and punches one of the mobile dolls. It only falls over. However, another punches him in the stomach and he goes down. Guess not, he thought.
Suddenly, the mobile dolls run off. Sally Po raises Duo to his feet and sees what scared them off.
A handsome blonde boy with blue eyes and forty retainers runs up to them and says, "Princess, thank goodness you're safe. Rashid, make sure the mobile dolls don't come back. You look so much better." It takes a while for Sally and Duo to realize that the blonde boy is looking at Duo.
"What?" Then he realizes his hair is hanging loose down his back. "I'm not the Princess. I'm Duo Maxwell and this is my teacher, Sally Po."
"Are you sure? You're so much better looking and we've been looking for her. But anyway, you should come with us to the palace."
"Where is this place?"
"El-Gundam, the magnificent world."
Sally Po frowned. This was a very bad sign.
They got on an ornate hovercraft and sailed towards a beautiful palace in the distance. Sally Po looks up at the sky and sees a huge metallic globe in the sky. "What's that?"
Quatre looks surprised. "That's the Eye of God. It's the weapons system that came from ancient war ages ago. Right below it," he says, pointing to a tall cylindrical structure, "is the stairway to the sky. You're not from around here, are you?"
"I don't think so."
As they got a wonderful tour of the countryside, Hilde wakes up to find herself in the middle of a burning desert with a horde of vultures circling above her. Treize finds himself in the land of the mobile dolls. Strangely, he has acquired the special power of being able to communicate with the mobile dolls, who take him to their leader, Lady Une.
Lady Une, upon seeing him, says, "Oh, are you the one sent by God to lead us to victory?" Her hair is tied up with ribbons in a very severe style, which makes her look very aggressive.
Treize smiles, "Yes, yes, I am."
"Let's get down to business in my private chambers," Lady Une says.
"Private chambers?" says Treize, a little worried.
Once they enter the dining room, Duo sits down and begins to inhale food. Feeling hungry as well, Sally Po drinks some tea and eats some sandwiches with the crusts cut off and tells Quatre how they exactly got here.
"Rashid, get Dr. J up here. He'll want to hear about this."
Dr. J comes in. Duo and Sally look up at the man with the long grey hair and spectacles. Both develop a sweat drop at their temple, thinking that he reminds of an old hippy Borg. "I've heard everything and was actually monitoring that area. I recorded a dimensional distortion."
"Then you can get us back home!" cries Duo.
"Um, no." says Dr. J.
While Duo groans, Sally says, "Who's this princess you were talking about?"
"You see, Relena's the Princess of Sanq Kingdom, the major country in this world called El-Gundam, the leading country of the alliance. She's the only one who can operate the Eye of God from the top of the stairway to the sky that keeps the Oz, land of the mobile dolls, at bay. Unfortunately, she's been kidnapped by the Phantom terrorist group; their leader is code named Milliardo. We have no idea who he really is or what he looks like."
"What does this girl look like?" Duo asks.
"There's her portrait on the wall." Quatre points at a picture of a blue-eyed, blonde girl who looks horribly smug.
When Duo saw it, he spat out a chunk of chicken. "I don't look like that."
"Yes, you look tons better. We were hoping the beauty treatments were finally taking effect. So, we've decided to get the help from the 3 great priests (of which I'm one, by the way) to help our cause and stall for time. Unfortunately, they'll only listen to an appeal from the princess. So, could you do the favor of... " Quatre paused.
"Favor of... " said Duo warily.
"Wearing a dress and pretending to be the princess."
"Oh, hell no. No, I mean nooooooo." He shook his head violently.
Of course they were promptly put into the nearest dungeon for that.
"Gee, Sally, why didn't you simply kick their nuts in?" said Duo.
"We could run away, but the problem is where would we run. I wasn't always able to do this well at fighting. I think crossing over to this dimension gave me superior strength. I wonder what this Eye of God thing is."
"Don't know. Must be a powerful weapon of some sort. Maybe it's an orbital defense platform."
"Hmmm. Perhaps there's someone on this world who can get us back home. The three priests sound like a beginning."
"But I don't want to wear a dress."
"I'll tell them not to put on too much make-up."
"Aaarghhhh."
Quatre and his many sisters help doll him up with the provision that he could wear his basketball top and shorts underneath so he could throw the damn clothes off the minute it was OK. They put him in a long, blue robe with sequins and gave him a tall cylindrical headdress. His hair is left to hang loose behind his back. Two golden combs are put in for decoration. "I look so stupid," growled Duo. Sally tries to keep a straight face, out of sympathy, but it's a struggle.
"Now for the mascara."
Duo scowls. "No mascara, no eyeshadow."
Quatre sighs. "OK, just a little lipstick and blush."
Duo crosses his arms. "You thought I was the princess without it, no way."
Quatre rubs his temples. "Do you want to go back to the dungeon?"
Duo finally submits to the indignity. All of Quatre's sisters look at their handiwork and coo with delight. A cute blush makes him even more pretty.
"I've already told the court about your departure to find the other two great priests." Quatre says. "We're leaving as soon as possible."
"What are their names?" Sally Po says.
"I heard their names are Trowa Barton and Wufei Chang. I'd like to meet them."
Then a beautiful blonde man walks in the door and looks really surprised. "Why, Princess, I heard you were returned to us. And you look quite a bit nicer."
Duo grits his teeth from saying anything and Sally Po says, "Sorry, laryngitis."
The man then walks out saying, "See you later."
Duo blows out a sigh of relief and says, "Who was that?" Quatre blushes. "The princess' brother, Zechs Marquise."
Quatre, his retainers, Duo and Sally were traveling via hovercraft towards the mountains. Duo stretches and says, "Man, all those guys were totally leering at me. Where do we go now? And when is lunch? Suppose... "
"Duo, one question at a time." says Quatre. "We're going to the mountain library of Wufei Chang first. He likes to be by himself. He tends to blast incoming aircraft within a certain perimeter, so we'll have to hike up the mountain."
Duo shakes his head. "I have to climb up a mountain wearing this. This is absolutely horrible. Please I want to take this off."
"No!" says Quatre.
Sally Po sighs, "If only we had a Jeep."
"What is this guy like?"
"Not too sure, I just became one of the 3 great priests you know."
"Look, I need a weapon. I have to be able to protect myself, right?"
Quatre asks one of his retainers to get a weapon. The man comes back with a scythe.
"What kind of weapon is this?" says Duo.
Quatre looks severely put out. "It's a magic scythe. It can cut down those mobile dolls like blades of grass. It is very cool."
Duo takes it in his hand. It has a nice heft and if what Quatre said was right, then it would be a fine weapon. "Thanks." He starts to swing it around. It begins to emit flames.
"Stop!" screams Quatre, "You're going to set the ship on fire!"
Duo stops. "Sorry, but it's so cool."
The ship they're in lands near the base of the tallest mountain in the range. Only Quatre, Sally and Duo get off. "How about the rest of them?" asks Duo, pointing to the retainers who stay aboard the craft.
"Wufei doesn't really care for people so, we have to go by ourselves."
"What's with this guy? He sounds like he has a stick up his ass!"
"Well, it could be he needs... " Then Quatre stops, blushing, upon remembering Sally Po is there.
Treize is looking at the unhappy trio from a nearby mountain using his binoculars. What the hell is Duo doing in drag? Well, he is kinda cute in... What am I thinking? "Did you alter the signs leading to Wufei's library?" he asks his troops.
The mobile dolls nod. "Good, make sure the rest of you are in position. When they walk up the wrong path, we'll get them." Treize sighs, This is too easy, something's bound to go wrong. Who is this Wufei Chang, anyway? he thought.
Quatre then says, "We shouldn't take any of the paths leading up."
"Why?"
"Because I've got a feeling about this."
"Oh, you mean because of the robot tracks all over the place and the fact the plants nearby are singed." Duo says.
"Well, that and I'm a little psychic. But we still have to reach Wufei."
"You don't happen to have a helicopter or something do you?" said Duo.
"No, but we have the next best thing. Me." Quatre smiles gleefully.
The other two people suddenly develop a drop of sweat each on their temples.
"I am one of the three great priests so my talent is air."
"Then why didn't you say so in the first place?"
"Too much exertion isn't good for me, but there's not much choice now, is there?" Quatre takes the two people by their waists and begins flying up.
They reach the top of the mountain, only to see even more mobile dolls immediately after they land. Duo sighs, and says, "Our luck totally sucks." Quatre then uses his mastery of air power to shatter them. Duo then starts to use that scythe, which works surprisingly well until it breaks. Sally Po uses her combat training in the army reserves and women's self-defense training to kick some major ass. Then they hear a voice and look up.
"I hate fighting weaklings and women," said Wufei in his white shirt and black pants.
"Hey!" yells Sally Po. "But I hate injustice more." With that, he takes his sword and uses his flame attack to destroy most of the force attacking them. Then he looks at Sally Po and smiles. She smiles back. "What dojo do you come from? Such a lovely hand to hand combat style." Then he sees Duo, "Princess Relena? Your picture does not do you justice."
Then Quatre sees a beautiful sight that takes over his heart and never lets go. A young man with brown hair that covers half his face and green eyes does a triple spin in the air and destroys the rest of the mobile dolls with his water attack, which he activates by kissing his ring. God, Quatre thought, I wish I were that ring.
After the mobile dolls are defeated, Trowa lays eyes on Quatre and says, "What is your name?"
"I'm Quatre, one of the 3 great priests. I'm a master of the air."
"How fitting for an angel like yourself. I'm Trowa, master of water."
Quatre blushes. Trowa and Quatre go into Wufei's library in great haste.
"So, what injustice has been done that you need our help?" says Wufei.
Sally Po says, "Actually Quatre knows more about it. Quatre, get out here!"
Quatre and Trowa walk out, looking a little flushed. "Um, we should go to a different place like a nearby hot spring resort that is perfectly safe."
"Kisama!" yells Wufei. "Now is not the time to think about... "
"It really is safe," says Quatre, "Isn't it, Trowa?"
Trowa merely nods, a bit on the enthusiastic side, though.
"Fine, hot springs, it is. We'll be taking my flight pad." Wufei sighs resignedly. They go behind his library and sit on a large disc and let's it take them up into the sky. Wufei and Sally Po talk about literature and various hand to hand combat techniques while Quatre and Trowa chat, well, actually Quatre talks and Trowa nods. Duo takes a nap.
So, they all went to the hot springs. There was a wall that divided the pools up into a women's side and a men's side, much like a Japanese bathhouse except it was outdoors. Since it was the off season, they managed to snag a rather large enclosed pool by themselves.
Sally Po then said, "We have to discuss things."
Wufei blushes, then says to Sally Po. "Please wear a blindfold." Trowa and Quatre are already yanking off each other's clothes.
"Oh, I'm sorry." She takes off her tie, wraps it around her eyes and looks away from the pool. "I feel silly talking like this, though."
"Um, you too, Princess Relena." Wufei says to Duo.
"Actually, I'm a guy and my name is Duo."
"What?" He turns to see Trowa and Quatre already nude and splashing around in the pool. "Have you no shame, there's a woman here without a blindfold."
"That's Duo. He's a guy," says Quatre.
"A cross dressing Prince?" Wufei says.
"No, no, it's Quatre's idea." Duo says.
"Quatre, you're not involved with him, are you?" Trowa says, looking a tad hurt.
"No, he's dressed like this to pass as the Princess. It's a national security issue. I have never touched him." Quatre coos reassuringly as he gives Trowa a cup of tea and sips from a cup himself.
Wufei drags Quatre out of the bath by the arm and says, "What the hell is going on?"
"Ok, Ok," yells Quatre. "The Princess was kidnapped, we got a double and we're asking both of you to help out if and when OZ strikes. We also need to unseal the eye of God so if we do find her in time, we can annihilate the mobile dolls."
"What?"
"Please let go of Quatre or I will get really mad," says Trowa. There's a very scary glint in Trowa's eyes or at least in the one that can be seen that makes Wufei release him. Then Trowa comforts Quatre by patting his arm among other things.
Duo sighs, then takes off his clothes and jumps into the water. "Oh, yeah, a bath really hits the spot." He wipes off his make-up.
"Lunch boxes. Lunch boxes."
"Gee, why does that voice sound so familiar?" Duo muses.
Sally Po hears that voice and says, "Hilde?"
"Oh, crap!" says Duo.
Hilde runs up to Sally Po from the women's side of the hot springs and says, "Oh, I'm so glad someone from Earth is here." Then she sees Duo. "Oh, Duo, oops," she runs off to the other side of the bath again.
Oh, God, why her? thought Duo.
Meanwhile, Treize and Lady Une discuss their plans. "Isn't there any weapon comparable to the Eye of God."
"Only the Legendary Demon God Heero Yuy, however, we don't know where he is. Only the three great priests know."
"Hmmmm," thought Treize. "I think I know a way to find him."
Meanwhile, Relena Peacecraft was being kept in a cage and strapped to a table. Zechs, code named Milliardo, leader of the Phantom terrorist group, looks on as his technicians check for any signs of intelligence. Who is this fake princess I saw? Oh, well, only the real princess can control the Eye of God. I just have to expose the other for a fraud.
Noin runs in. "Our palace spies says the double is a guy."
"A guy? That should be easy to expose before the alliance right before I tell them that I have their real princess captive."
"Also, Zechs, here are the results from the lab. It says that key to controlling the Eye of God is genetic. Unfortunately, you got to have two X chromosomes and Peacecraft blood."
"Damn! I have to work with someone with the IQ of a baboon." Zechs scowls, glaring at the unconscious Relena. "Noin, how's plan B working out."
"Well, I'm still working on it."
"Oh, Duo! You're here!" Hilde says, so happy, that she again crosses to the men's side.
"Yeah, yeah."
"Woman, have you no shame. Men are bathing here," says, well, you know who.
"Sorry." She runs back to the women's side.
Trowa and Quatre are in a corner, soaping each other up and giving each other foot massages that are slowly creeping up to their...
"Quit it!" screams Wufei. "This is a place of relaxation, meditation and cleanliness." I think my vocal chords are starting to hurt, he thought.
"We are relaxing, meditating and cleaning." replies Quatre.
"You're supposed to clean yourself, not each other!"
Sally Po chuckles.
A male delivery person runs and says, "Terrible news, the forces of Oz is heading towards the Legendary Demon God Heero Yuy."
"That's impossible," says Wufei. "Nobody knows where it is besides the 3 great priests."
"Well, they must've found out then."
Wufei rinses off, then jumps out. Quatre and Trowa finally get serious and jump out as well. Duo gets out and wrings out his hair. He puts on his basketball uniform and shorts, refusing to put on that tall hat and those robes. "Let's go."
As it was freezing on the ship to the forbidden island of the Demon God, Duo finally had to put on some more clothes. The only thing they had (besides the princess drag) were a black cap, a black jacket, a red shirt and black pants, which suited him just fine. Finally, an outfit I look good in, he thought. .
"I just don't get it," said Wufei. "How could they find out? This could be the end of the world as we know it."
Hilde looks at Duo, who seems a bit on the depressed side. "Hey, Duo! What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing much." How could he tell her that he was thinking about that guy he kissed in the basement? After all, he said he'd be here, when was he going to show?
"I landed in the desert, but luckily I was picked up by a bunch of tourists going to the springs. Then I couldn't buy any food with the money I had. So, I sell box lunches at the hot springs. I missed you so much." She clings to his arm, but he shakes her off. Hurt, she goes over to Sally Po and they chat for a bit.
Meanwhile, Quatre and Trowa play some music to pass the time. Quatre played the violin while Trowa played his flute. Amazingly, they play pretty well, despite the fact they keep playing footsie with each other, much to the irritation of Wufei.
They finally land on a particularly nasty looking island, no vegetation, no animals, nothing but rocks and fog. Everyone gets off the ship.
"This is the forbidden island." Wufei says.
"Strange," Trowa says, "Nobody's here."
Wufei frowns, "Maybe it was a mistake."
"Thank you for showing us where the god is."
Hilde jumps up startled and yells, "It's Treize."
Treize steps out from behind a rock, flanked by two mobile dolls. "I spread the rumor so you'd rush over and show us the way. Clever of me, no?" He's now dressed in a very spiffy uniform given to him by Lady Une.
"Kisama," says Wufei, who immediately pulls out... his sword.
Treize looks at him with the same desire a chocoholic has for a five pound box of Belgium chocolates, licks his lips, and says, "Oh, I've heard of you. How about I pull out... " One of the mobile dolls programmed by Lady Une knocks him unconscious, knowing he has a fondness for dueling with cute Chinese guys with his sword. The mobile doll holds the unconscious Treize and flies towards the mountain.
Trowa and Quatre see an entire naval fleet coming their way. "We'll deal with them, get there ahead of Treize."
Wufei and the rest run towards the mountains. "According to the ancient texts, anybody who wakes up the demon god will be its master and control its power. Don't let them have the key."
"What key?" Duo says.
While making their way through the underground passageways, Wufei sees Treize and his party. He immediately flies up in the air, and tries to attack him, but the passages around them are in such terrible shape, Wufei ends up collapsing the floor right underneath Duo's feet as well as part of the roof. Duo screams as he falls.
"What the hell was that?" says Hilde to Wufei. "Duo could be dead. I won't forgive you if he is."
Wufei makes a dismissive noise. He's still pissed about mistaking Duo for a girl.
Sally Po says, "Enough already. We have to hurry."
Duo manages to pull out a stick that turns into a helicopter propeller on the way down, so he manages to land in one piece. He turns it off and puts it in his back into his pants. "Well, looks like there's no way but forward, huh. Perhaps I'll meet everyone up ahead. I'm curious to see what this god looks like." He walks down the passage and finds a chamber.
When he looks inside, he gasps, "This is Heero the demon god?"
Lying down is the young man who kissed him with such passion, asleep, holding a very large staff that looks like a key. Duo kneels down by him. He takes the staff out of his hands and puts it aside. A mechanism lifts him up so Heero is now in a standing position.
Duo looks at the staff. What do princes do when they see a sleeping beauty, not that I'm a prince, he thought. He kissed him gently on the lips, but there's no reaction. He tries pinching his nose shut, screaming in his ear, and making faces, but there's no reaction. It was really starting to bug him. "Damn, what does it take to wake you up, Heero Yuy? If that's indeed what your name is and what the hell are you doing with a gun like this? I came all the way from Earth to see you and you just sleep there. Are you dead? Is that why you're so cold?"
"He's not dead. He was never alive. He's just a machine designed for killing." says Treize.
"You're lying!" Duo tries to fight them off, but there are just too many of them.
Two mobile dolls grab Duo by the arms and restrain him. "Let go of me! Bakayaro!"
"I'll show you the truth. This is actually a weapon created for mass destruction. Whoever winds it with the key is its master."
Treize lifts the back of Heero's shirt. There's a round circle in the middle of his back. Treize fits the key in the circle, then he starts to wind. Lightning seems to surround the both of them. With each wind, the eyes slowly begin to open to reveal the blue eyes he had looked into once before; but now they are cold. Treize takes the key out and sighs.
Duo says, "Heero, it's me Duo. Remember?"
"Who are you?"
"Oh, my God, you're joking, aren't you? We met in the basement of high school."
"Don't know you."
"So, that's the type of guy you are. Why you! See if you ever touch me again. Take me home!"
Heero Yuy turns to Treize. "Give me the staff."
Treize hesitates and Heero snatches it from him. "What are my orders?"
Wufei, Hilde and Sally Po get there. "We're too late." Hilde says.
"Capture Wu... " One of the mobile dolls tries to smack him on the head, but he ducks. Damn Lady Une, he thought. Then a script page falls from the sky. Puzzled, he reads it out loud. "Kill them all."
"Mission acknowledged," says Heero.
"What?" says Treize. He stares at the paper in bewilderment.
"It's unfair to put you back to sleep when you've just woke up, but it looks like I'll have to seal you up again." Wufei says.
Wufei tries using his fire attack, but Heero is left standing. "Looks like it's the technique of the Nataku. How interesting." He immediately points his staff and returns the exact same attack, but several times more powerful. It knocks Wufei off his feet and renders him on his back, unconscious. Heero then points his gun towards the others.
Duo watches all this, thinking, No matter how I look at it, you're the bad guy. Furious, he breaks free of the dolls and tries to tackle him from behind, but only ends up glomping unto Heero. Oh, crap, he thinks. I am so dead. Sally and Hilde just stare and stare and stare. Heero himself pauses, looking very puzzled. He turns to see who is grabbing him by the waist. As they make eye contact, something strange happens. Arcs of lightning begin to surround the both of them.
Wufei groggily gets up. "What's going on?"
"Go back to sleep, Wufei," says Sally Po.
Duo thinks, What is this. A series of images seems to burn themselves unto his eyes. He sees a city in flames and ships flying across the sky. This must be from that ancient war Quatre was talking about, he thought. Then he sees Heero Yuy standing on the tallest building, looking down on the havoc he helped to create. For a second, he thought he saw a look of remorse.
Then he sees Heero lying on the grass, smiling that same smile he had in the basement of the school. He sees a little girl's face with sandy brown hair, purple eyes and with a smile of simple sweet- ness on her face looking down at Heero, asking him, "Oniichan, are you lost?" and offering him a flower. She runs off into a building with her puppy.
It's then that he realizes that what Heero was looking at was the building, now demolished, the little girl had walked into.
Then he hears a voice, saying, "Looks like we'll have to reprogram him."
Meanwhile, Heero is also receiving Duo's memories. He sees Duo playing basketball, laughing, hanging out with his friends at school, and being lectured over and over again by Sally Po. Then he sees himself standing in the basement of the high school holding Duo. That's me, he thought, what am I doing?
It's as if they've died and instead of seeing their own lives flash before their eyes; they're looking at each other's.
After a few minutes, the lightning stops. Duo turns Heero around and holds him, stroking his hair. Heero doesn't resist, lies his head on Duo's shoulders and closes his eyes. Then suddenly, Heero opens his eyes, jumps back and clutches his head as if he's in pain. Then he opens his eyes, his first real emotion showing. Unfortunately, it's anger. He yells, "What did you just do?" He throws him against the wall and points his staff at him.
Sally runs, jumps and, in a move worthy of Trowa, lands right on top of the staff, causing it to shoot just a couple feet in front of Duo (instead of annihilating him instantly) and scoops him up before he can be vaporized. She manages to outrun all the shots being fired by a very pissed weapon of destruction.
"Go, go, Sally Po!" yells Hilde.
Treize yells, "Stop, you're going to bring the place down upon our heads. Now go and destroy all the military bases on the eastern border of El-Gundam."
"Mission acknowledged." With that, Heero stops trying to blow the place up, rises in the air and flies off. Treize takes a handkerchief and mops his brow.
Trowa and Quatre look at the sky and see a white light heading towards the country. "Oh, no, it's Heero," says Quatre. Trowa puts his hand on his shoulder.
In the havoc, Sally and the rest of the gang manage to scramble up to the surface. Treize is too busy trying to escape himself to give chase. When I get home, I'm going to take a nice long bath to get rid of all this dust. Then he thinks, Wufei, next time.
Back at the castle, Dr. J is thinking really hard about what Duo has told him about Heero. "If Duo met him on earth, then how could he be here? Heero doesn't have the ability to slip through dimensions, no matter how powerful he is."
"This is a major puzzle," said Quatre, looking at Duo, who is wearing Princess drag due to the fact they're in the castle proper. "He looks so depressed and it's not just the bad makeup job."
Duo opens his third bottle of beer, sitting on a bench. Duo, he thinks to himself, you're so screwed up to like someone like that, especially after something like that. He takes a swig, then puts it down. This beer isn't helping at all, damn. A little woozy, he grabs unto a statue covered with ivy for balance. Then the statue begins to move. He jumps back in fright as it reveals itself to be a very, very ancient mobile doll. Then it falls over as if the power it was running on shut off. "I need more beer," mutters Duo.
Dr. J yells, "Take the robot into my workshop for analysis. I thought it was a statue all this time."
After fifteen minutes, he runs back and says, "Duo, come with me." He pulls Duo off the bench and drags him downstairs.
Dr. J hands him a small flat circular object that Duo recognizes as a very beat up portable CD player, parts of its inner workings are showing. The minute Duo touches, several beams of red light appear. He drops it, yelling "Argh, you trying to blind me? The laser in CD players can really mess with your eyes."
"I think we've found your special talent, Duo." Dr. J says. "You can resonate with machines from the ancient civilization on this planet. And you messed up a rare antique." He sobs over the fragments on the floor.
"You mean I could hotwire stuff just by touching it. Cool."
"Not only that, you managed to access the demon god's memories. You actually saw the ancient war he participated in."
"So what I saw was real."
Dr. J nods. "In fact, my ancestor also named Dr. J had a hand in creating him." The man pulls a tattered book from his library wall. "This is the original design specification book about the demon god by my many times great grandfather. According to this ancient text, Heero's original design was to be a peacekeeper, but was turned into a weapon for offense during the war. His power is such that anything he experiences, he can immediately replicate much like what he did to Wufei in the caverns."
"He was sealed right after the war ended. It's strange he reacted the way he did. The mechanisms could've deteriorated or perhaps your talent could've caused a short circuit. That he didn't kill you this time doesn't mean he won't kill you next time around."
"Can you lend me the book?"
"Sure."
Zechs tries to get the Eye of God to work, but unfortunately he finds that Relena is useless at this as well. "Don't you do anything?"
"Of course," she pouts.
"What?"
Relena scowls. "I'm a Princess and people obey me."
"Other than that."
"Give me a minute." Several minutes go by.
Zechs is so disgusted he just leaves her up there.
Treize turns to Heero and says, "Go pick Princess Relena up and bring her to me. I might have a use for her." Then he notices Heero has turned a nasty green. I thought killer androids don't turn a nasty green, he thought. "Do it now."
"Mission acknowledged."
Heero picks up the Princess Relena from atop the Stairway to the sky. She immediately grabs unto him, cooing, "Oh, you've saved me from the evil Milliardo. You must be in love with me to do something so brave. I am yours forever."
Heero feels extremely nauseated and must repeatedly remind himself not to drop her from a thousand feet up to a certain death. Must finish mission, he thinks, must finish mission. Mustn't throw her to her death no matter how much she irritates me.
Once Heero unceremoniously dumps her on the floor, he says, "Do you have any other orders? I get cranky if I don't blow something up on a regular basis." Hurry, give me another order, he thinks as Relena starts to stand up.
"Deliver a message to the palace that we now have their princess and that they should surrender... " Heero immediately flies off.
"Heeeeeerroooo! Come back!" says Relena.
Treize had considered saying something about Wufei, but Lady Une had her arm around his neck in an embrace he didn't want to turn into a chokehold.
Zech was scowling at the dinner celebrating the unsealing of the Eye of the God. He had planned to expose the imposter, but Quatre had apologized to the attendees by saying that the princess was indisposed. Noin, however, seems to be enjoying herself, chatting with others and drinking a glass of wine white wine. "Damn, that fake princess didn't show," he scowled. "I was all ready to rip his clothes off."
"Yes, it's a pity we can't expose him."
"Oh... yeah. Noin, why are you so happy?"
"This is the closest thing to a date you've ever taken me on."
Duo was lying on his bed in the dark, his hair loose beneath him. He should be at the dinner celebrating the unsealing of the Eye of God, but he begged off by telling Quatre that he'd probably get drunk and end up doing something he'd regret. Besides, he can't help thinking about what Dr. J had said. He doesn't have a will of his own; he's just a machine, huh, he thought. "Kuso," he yells, then he punches the wall. A tear trickles down his face, then he wipes it away. It doesn't matter that he's seen all the schematics several times over, he just can't believe it.
He hears an explosion, looks outside the window to see a fire right on the perimeter of the estate. Damn, the castle's under attack, Duo thinks to himself. He turns from the window and sees someone in the doorway. From the light of the explosion, he can see who is shutting the door behind him. Duo licks his lips and says, "Heero, you always show up at the most unexpected places."
"Duo Maxwell, I've been looking for you," said Heero.
"Uh, why? Is it my charming eyes or perhaps... "
"How did you access my memories? How did you get inside my head?"
"I saw inside your soul."
"I don't have a soul."
Looking at the staff pointed at his head, Duo closes his eyes and sighs, "I guess it's my fate to be killed by you." After a few seconds, he opens his eyes as he sees Heero standing there with the staff in his face, but not firing.
"Do you want to die?" Heero says. His face is unreadable.
"No."
"I do." Heero lowers the staff. Duo stands up and walks over to him.
"I must be stupid," Duo mutters to himself, then he grabs Heero's shoulders and pulls him close.
"Omae... Mmph,"
Duo seals Heero's mouth with a kiss. He can feels the body he's holding stiffen then relax. He wraps his arms around Heero's waist to hold him tighter. He gently bites his shoulder and kisses him all along his neck. He hears Heero gasp. Duo pushes him gently down on the bed. Duo gently tugs on his earlobes with his teeth, and whispers, "Do you still want to die? Heero? Do you still want to die?"
Heero doesn't say anything, but wraps his arms around him and closes his eyes. Duo smiles to himself, Glad you're enjoying yourself. He pulls the green tanktop off of him and admires the wiry body underneath him. He pinches one of the nipples and sucks on it and licks it until it stiffens. He watches as Heero arcs his head back with an expression not unlike pain, exhaling through gritted teeth, then groaning. "Are you OK?" Duo whispers, toying with the other nipple with his index finger. .
Heero just nods, then opens his eyes. With the light of fires outside reflecting on his face, there seems to be a wild, hungry look. He brushes Duo's bangs away from his face. "Why are you doing this?"
Duo looks deep into those mesmerizing eyes and knows that this time he needs to be serious. "I love you. I want you to be happy." It surprises him upon saying them how deeply he means those words.
They stare at each other. Then Heero kisses him so hard it feels like his lips are bruised, but he's beyond caring. Duo opens his mouth and eagerly lets Heero's tongue lick his lower lips and massage the inside of his cheeks. God, he even smells good, thought Duo, smelling musk and smoke. He starts to massage his thighs and starts to pull down those tight spandex shorts. "Lets see what you have down there."
Then Heero breaks off the kiss. Duo tries to push him back down, but Heero stands up. He says, "I'm bad for you. You're going to get killed if you stay near me."
"Then why did you come here?" demanded Duo.
"I don't know." Heero picks up his staff and shirt and flies out the window.
"Heero left word that Treize has the princess by burning the message in a nearby field! He says that unless we surrender, he'll have her executed."
The alliance heads clap. A script page falls from the sky. They all crowd around it. "Oh, we're not supposed to clap. Oops." They then say in a flat chorus, "Something must be done!"
"Let's go and rescue her," says Quatre.
Trowa nods.
"I'm going as well," said Duo with a weird little smile. But I'm not going there to rescue the princess, he thought.
Quatre looks at Wufei. "Aren't you coming?"
Wufei hands him a note. Quatre reads, "Of course, but I've been screaming so much, I've temporarily lost my voice.' Then Quatre says, beaming a very sweet smile, "Good." Trowa gives him a gentle nudge in the ribs. "I mean it's good you're coming."
Sally Po steps forward to say, "I'm going. You're going to need someone who'll ask for directions."
Hilde, tired of adventures, stays home.
On a hill, overlooking the main base of the Oz forces, Quatre says, "Trowa and I will create a distraction out here. That should draw out most of the mobile dolls. You, Sally and Wufei will have go in there and get her. There's an ancient rail system that goes right underneath the base. You know how to get there."
Wufei nods since his throat still hurts even after the lozenges Sally gave him. She holds the map aloft in her hand she took just in case. Duo says, "I'm just glad I'm not doing this in drag, and thanks for the cool handgun."
"You're welcome," says Quatre.
"But I really wanted a missile launcher, grenades... "
"Duo!"
After entering a secret passageway and hiking a half-mile underground, Sally says, "Looks like there's no entrance to the castle. We'll have to blast our way in. Wufei, want to do the honors?"
Wufei smirks, then proceeds to punch a hole all the way up. Wufei pulls the both of them up and they start running towards the area that Dr. J told them held the missing princess. Near the entrance of the passageway leading to where Relena was being held, a large force of mobile dolls suddenly appeared right behind them.
Sally says, "Wufei and I'll hold them off. Pick her up and we'll be right there."
Duo runs down the passageway and sees the sleeping girl in the cage. "She totally doesn't look like me," he said aloud. "Let's see if I still remember how to open locks." He fires his pistol at the lock and then the door swings open. The girl continues to sleep. "Oh, great, she's drugged. I wish Sally Po and Wufei'd hurry up."
Then he hears someone walk up behind him. "Sally?" Instead, it's Heero.
Heero looks at Duo. "So, you came after all."
"Ah, what the hell, I can only die once."
Treize steps out, his gun pointing directly at Duo. He says, "Duo Maxwell, one of my least favorite students. I don't know whether to thank you or kill you for causing me to end up here. On one hand, I might become the leader of this world; on the other hand, I get dragged into Lady Une's private chamber everyday. I think I'll ask you be killed. Heero, kill him."
Duo looks at Heero, who doesn't make any move to kill him.
Treize, cross, says, "Didn't you hear what I said?"
Heero shoots a hole in the wall a yard away from Duo's head, then says, "I have failed my mission. Therefore I must self-destruct." He takes his staff and pushes a button. "Self-destruct in thirty seconds."
A mobile doll grabs Treize and gets him out of there. Heero turns to Duo and says, "Get out of here."
"Like hell." He grabs the staff, gritting his teeth, and tries to remember which circuit is in control of the self-destruct mechanism. He finds it then shorts it out. Then he smiles and finds one more circuit. A smell of ozone comes from the staff. Heero stumbles, "What happened?" "I destroyed the circuits to the self-destruct and the one that"
"makes you obey the one who winds you up." Duo says happily. "You can do whatever you like. I... "
Duo is suddenly swept off his feet and succumbs to a kiss that just begs for more. He opens his eyes and sees Heero smiling down at him. "This is what I want to do... "
Wufei and Sally Po stumble in. "We've got to get out of here! Duo, get away from Heero!" Sally says.
"He's on our side now!" Duo says, wrapping a possessive arm around Heero's neck. Sally rolls her eyes.
"Quick, pick her up and get her out of here!" says Sally.
"I'm not touching her," spits Heero, "And Duo's not either! She gets a crush on any guy who comes within five feet of her." He keeps holding unto Duo.
Wufei scowls and crosses his arms; he's saving his arms for Sally. Sally Po says, "I'll do it." Sally picks up Relena and says, "I'm doing way more than my share in this story. Now put Duo down!"
Wufei smiles at that. Gotta love that woman.
While everyone else was hovering over the princess' bedside, Duo was sitting by Heero's bedside. When Heero opened his eyes, Duo hit him in the arm. "Don't you ever do that again! Jumping off a thirty story ledge away from Relena! She tried to jump after you. She only fell a few feet though. Knocked herself unconscious. God, how stupid!"
Heero said nothing.
Duo sighed. "Well, just don't do it again. How about a couple turns from the key? Maybe it'll make you feel better. I could get you some soup. How about some of that tea Quatre and Trowa are always drinking... "
"Duo." There's a firm grasp on his wrist.
"Yeah."
"There's something else that would make me feel better." Heero slides his hand over Duo's and begins to massage the top part of Duo's hand with his thumb.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Duo gets up to locks the door. As he shuts the door, he says,
"You're not going to fly out the window, are you? Man, because if you do, don't even think about... " Then he feels an arm encircle his waist and sees Heero's hands unzipping his shirt. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"
Heero smirks. "I think the question should be, shouldn't we be in bed?"
Several hours later, Relena stirs from her coma. "Are you OK, princess?" say her advisors.
Relena says, "Oh, it was so horrible being in a cage." Then she sees Duo wander in, zipping up his shirt, looking very disheveled but very happy. She looks him up and down with a dubious air. "Is this my double?"
"Uh, yeah. I was."
"Hmph, you looks nothing like me. I'm so much prettier. You must've enjoyed the privileges of being a princess. You should be thankful."
"What?" What a pompous... he thought. The rest had to be censored for the reader's protection.
"Ready to use the Eye of God?" said her advisors.
"Where is that lovely man who saved us all?"
"Aren't I standing right before you?" says Duo.
"No, Heeeeeeerooooo. Isn't he gorgeous? He saved me from that evil Milliardo." A scary glazed look crosses her face.
"Then he handed you to Treize." Duo reminds her.
"But then he must've fallen in love with me when I was held in captivity and decided to help spring me loose."
Sally Po had to use all her strength to clamp her hand over Duo's mouth, which was about to erupt with the vilest curses and drag him away before he assaulted the royal personage.
"Oh, by the way, I can't seem to get the Eye of God to work."
Everyone sweatdrops.
"It's against my pacifist principles. I don't believe in war or fighting," she pouts. "I can't stain my hands. Besides, I'm sure Heeeeeerrrrooooooo can save us."
"We're about to be annihilated and you say this?" says Quatre.
"Oh, but this is when you need to hang on to your ideals." Her eyes glow with idealism. Well, actually, they glow like a candle that's inside a jack o' lantern after all the brains, er, seeds have been scooped out.
"Let me just smack her once," begs Duo.
"Wait," says Sally. "Duo can synchronize with machines from the era that the Eye of God was created."
"Yeah, but I seem to have actually touch the machine in order to synchronize with it." Duo says. "I'm going to have actually go to the Eye of God."
" Oh, look, the machine's activating by itself." Hilde says. The sky had become very stormy and dark all of a sudden.
Little black holes settled over the land of Oz and created a gravitational field that began pulling in all the mobile dolls to their doom.
Zechs shakes his head. He stands on the Eye of God, looking at how things had become botched. Plan B had been for him to try to activate the thing using his Peacecraft blood and hoping that one X chromosome would be enough with a little computer hacking. He had destroyed much of the forces of Oz, but now the damn thing kept on going destroying everything around it. The warranty on the thing must've expired. A retarded sister and now the Eye of God had gone completely crazy. Noin pats him on the back. "Poor baby," she coos.
"What else can go wrong?" Zechs groans, sitting down and putting his face in his hands.
"Zechs Marquise! Surrender before the forces of Oz."
Zechs looks up, then stands up suddenly. Before him stands a man with very interesting eyebrows and an aristocratic air, the man of his dreams. "What is your name?" breathes Zechs.
Treize is himself similarly stunned. "I'm Treize." He gasps. Why, this man is a god, an Apollo! A tall platinum blonde man with a body to die for! All thoughts of Wufei are temporarily swept from his mind. Then he remembers that Lady Une is right behind him.
"Am I to be interrogated?" says Zechs, looking a bit eager.
"Yes."
"Who by?"
"Personally, by yours truly," says Treize. "I shall interrogate you for hours and hours. I'm going to strap you to a chair, beat you with my belt, and make you confess all sorts of things. I'll do all sorts of unspeakable things to break you in. Er, I mean... break you. You'll be in suck... er, such pain." It's supposed to be a threat, but it came out as something very different.
"I surrender." Zechs happily raises his hands over his head.
Treize nearly swoons with joy. He begins to approach, handcuffs in hand.
Noin and Lady Une have exactly the same thought in their heads the second they hear that. Oh, no, my love life is in danger. Both grab their respective boyfriends and drag them away from each other before they become joined at the hip.
Treize says, "Une, but what about world domination?"
Lady Une says, "The only domination's going to be done by me."
"Noin!" says Zechs, protesting Noin's vise-like grip.
"We're going home now!"
"But... "
Both women sigh, then whack their man on the head, knocking him out. "Lets see if I have any drugs that delete memories at home." Noin murmurs. Both women look at each other and give each other a conspiratorial nod. "I'll send you some if I have extra."
"I'm eternally in your debt," says Lady Une. Both run off the Eye into their respective ships with their spiritually unfaithful darlings, and fly away in opposite directions.
Duo's party land on the Eye of God without much trouble, having avoided the destructive mini blackholes that had destroyed most of the mobile dolls and were heading toward the borders of the other kingdoms. Quatre says, "We'll have to go down a shaft towards the very center of the Eye. But with the Eye of God out of control, we might get blown away into another dimension."
"We?" says Duo.
"I have to fly you down there," Quatre says.
Trowa suddenly wraps his arms around Quatre protectively. "Quatre... "
"It can't be helped."
"... "
Duo has a strange little smile. "I guess we better hurry up and save the world."
"There's no need for that."
Everyone looks up to see Heero Yuy. He lands in front of Duo. "I'll be the one to go. This is the only way I get to meet you in the first place. Think about it. This must be how I learned to send you back here. It's the only explanation. "
"But I'm the only one who can resonate with the Eye of God."
He hands Duo the staff. "This is part of my body. As long as you hold it, I'll be able to figure out how to stop this thing. Besides, I'm the only one who can hack fast enough to shut down this system."
"But if you go, you'll be blown to bits. Your body can't handle this."
"This is Heero Yuy, you're talking about." The corners of Heero's mouth twitch up.
"Oh, my God, you made a joke." It is a moment that makes Duo happy even while it breaks his heart. Then he says, "I'm going with you, damn it!"
Heero looks at Sally; Sally nods. Heero walks towards the vent leading to the very center of the Eye of God. Duo tries to go after him, but Sally has a firm grip on him.
"Let go of me! Sally!"
"It's his destiny. You know he's going to survive this. But there's no way you could. You have to live to figure a way of getting him back," says Sally as she drags him towards the ship.
As they fly away from the sphere, a bright light flares from the sphere that envelops El-Gundam, then the sky returns to normal.
"He's gone," says Duo dully.
Heero Yuy looks at the empty chamber; he's just sent away the love of his life away to El-Gundam. He starts to climb his way up from the basement.
Heero stands near the chain link fence and closes his eyes. "Mission accomplished," he whispers. Then he notices something shining before him. Could it be?
Duo Maxwell materializes in the middle of the basketball court, holding the staff. There is a smile on his face that is infinitely tender and his eyes are shining. "Heero!"
He runs up to him and glomps unto him. They hold each other, kissing each other tasting each other's mouth. They kiss the tears from each other's faces. "I love you," they whisper to each other.
Then Duo says, "Let's go home." With that, he activates the dimensional destabilizer Dr. J helped him make and they both disappear to that wonderful place far, far away. It was made even more wonderful by the fact that Relena had tried to look for Heero herself, but accidentally plunged into El-Gundam's sun.
The End
Please choose the moral of this story:
(a)True love is scary.
(b) Male bonding is too violent.
(c) Go, go, Sally Po.
(:./mk/elgundam)
