"Guys!" said Leon. "They've posted the list of the top ten students of the graduating class outside."
"Really?" said Alex.
Alex and Leon ran to the board where they scrutinized it for one particular name. "No. 2 Lucrecia Noin? No. 1 is... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Alex.
Mueller ran up. "What's up?"
"Read ths list," said Leon.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Mueller.
"Yup, the goose man is our valedictorian."
***
Zechs was woken up by the sound of his window being hit by several pebbles.
"What the... " He opened the window and looked out only to see thirty freshman and sophmore Academy members holding signs and picketing his building. Seeing that they had gotten his attention, Alex and Mueller led the group into the following chants:
"2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate? NOIN! NOIN! NOIN!"
"Who's no. 1! Noin! Who's no. 1? Noin!"
"STOP THAT RACKET!" Zechs screamed. "I just got back from a mission!"
"Fraud! Fraud! Fraud!" yelled Alex and Mueller.
Several people began opening their windows. "Oh, for God's sake, shut up!" yelled another person from the dorm building. People began pelting bread and other breakfast items at them.
"Noin should be no. 1, not Zechs!" yelled Alex.
"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT OUR GOD ZECHS!"
All of the Noin supporters turn to see Otto, Walker and quite a few of Zech's friends. Both sides growled at each other.
"Zechs is too noble, too honest, too honorable to do anything fraudulent to be no. 1. He has earned that position though I confess that Lucrecia Noin is quite intelligent and able in her own right. After all, she is only second to him and is the no. 1 woman on campus," said Walker.
"HAH!" screamed Alex. "Who's too lazy to do his own laundry and who ended up doing them?"
"NOIN!" screamed his men.
"Who made ALL the coffee and bought ALL the snacks whenever it came to study sessions!"
"NOIN!"
"When his royal highness couldn't take the cafeteria food, who made him some Sank delicacies just the way he liked it?"
"NOIN!"
"Don't you think you're underrating her intelligence by saying she's been bamboozled into doing these things for him. This is how my mom won my dad over!" protested Walker. "It's an age-old courtship ritual. I'm sorry if you think her grades faltered because of this, but complaining that she's second in the history of the Academy instead of first is like complaining about getting an A instead of an A+."
Alex, Mueller and their group huddle briefly before Alex says, "She's been hypnotized by the hair."
"And he's the spawn of the Evil One," said Mueller.
"Yeah, where exactly did this guy come from? It could be like Damien from Omen," said Leon.
"Maybe he's hiding a certain number on his forehead," speculated Alex. "It would explain the mask."
"ENOUGH! SHE FELL FOR HIM, OK! Anybody with eyes would fall for him!" screamed Otto.
Alex and Mueller sweatdropped at that statement.
However, Otto raved on. "I wish I could be as lucky as to be the one cooking him meals, playing footsie in the library while discussing astrophysics and washing his clothes! She should thank her lucky stars that she is allowed such close proximity and intimacy with that man, no, a god!"
Foam was coming out of his mouth.
The Noin supporters as a group face-vault at that confession of obsessive adoration. Feel cold and dizzy, thought Mueller as he lay on the ground.
I really didn't need to hear that, thought Alex as he woozily got back on his feet.
Zechs simply opened his mouth, then fell straight back into a dead faint.
However, Otto kept talking about how he'd specially handwash Zechs's... unmentionables.
The End
(:./mk/one)
