25-Jul-2001
Title: The Babysitter - The Sleepover
Authors: Wufei is WHAT?!? Productions (Yoiko and Tzigane)
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Type: Humorous Fic-stuffs ~_^v
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13? Not sure.
Pairings: None, really. ^_^
Warnings: Cuteness. Wistful longings of a yaoi nature.
Uncontrollable teenage hormones. Chef Boyardee ravioli.
Disclaimers: We don't own Gundam Wing, and the Gundam Wing characters are used here without permission. This is a work of fanfiction, intended solely for entertainment purposes, and is not meant to be taken as a claim to copyright for the elements in the story which were not created by us. Also, we intend no disrespect whatsoever towards the creators and rightful owners of Gundam Wing.
Archive: Gundam Wing Addiction
C&C: Please, feel free. ^_^
Once back in the kitchen, they found Relena squalling, Wufei demanding more ravioli from Mirialdo, who refused to give it to him, and Quatre and Trowa liberally smearing ravioli all over their plates.
"Woohoo!" cried Duo, who now had the stuff even *more* on his face than before. "I love this stuff!"
"What a mess," Heero commented, eyes wide. He barely dared to even glance at Duo the Disaster Area, and then wished he hadn't. There was ravioli on the table, on Duo's clothes, on Duo's hands, on Duo's face... Even in his bangs!
"Duo was BAD!" Wufei said solemnly. "I want more ravioli!" The sound of *that* was unhappy; Treize had purposely given him less to begin with, knowing that he would ask for more ravioli even if he was full, the pot was almost gone, and Treize hadn't even eaten any yet!
"All right!" Treize said. "All right, all RIGHT! Everybody be QUIET!"
Six pairs of eyes gazed at him in wonder. Was Treize... losing his temper? But that was impossible!
"I will NOT be quiet!" the seventh child screamed from the corner. "I HATE YOU!!!"
"You!" Treize growled. "YOU are going in a room all by yourself! And the rest of you..." Cornflower eyes ablaze with sapphire sparks took them in one by one. " I'll be back to deal with the rest of you shortly! Mirialdo, slide down to Heero's chair. Trowa, you and Quatre slide down one, too! Heero, go sit in Quatre's chair. I'll be right BACK," he said, picking up a kicking and screaming Relena.
Heero looked distinctly pouty by the time he'd clambered up into Quatre's abandoned chair. He didn't want to eat off a used plate!
"I think Tweize is cwanky," Trowa said in awestruck tones.
"But he'th the babythitter! He'th not thuppothed to get cranky!" Quatre protested, carefully keeping his voice low.
It really was almost shocking! Mirialdo had *never* seen Treize lose his temper!
"I want more juice!" Wufei demanded disconsolately, rattling the ice in his cup to catch Mirialdo's attention.
"Geez," the nine year old complained again. Still, he stood, passed Heero's own plate to him, and poured Wufei more juice, popping the top back onto the cup so that the boy could sip happily once again.
"Was thirsty," Wufei confided to Heero.
"Me, too," Heero replied, and glumly began eating the Chef Boyardee. He didn't care for it, particularly, but he had been taught to always clean his plate. He didn't even make a face when he encountered oddly crunchy parts.
"Do you like it?" Duo asked. "I added some chocolate sprinkles to make it taste better."
"It's better than a finger in the eye," Heero replied, forcing himself to eat another mouthful.
"So you like my cooking! Can I have a kiss?"
"NO!"
"You probably have cooties, too," Wufei confided. "You've got hair like a girl!" Never mind the fact that his own hair was in an adorable little bowl cut...
"I DO NOT HAVE COOTIES! I'M A BOY!!! ALL BOY!!! SEE?" Duo stood in his chair and yanked his pants down, demonstrating incontestably that he was definitely not a girl. Heero blushed and refused to look, Quatre covered his eyes, and Trowa gaped.
"Duo," came a strangled voice from the doorway. "WHY are your pants down!?" Treize demanded.
"Uh..." Duo said.
"He was showing us his PEE-PEE!" Wufei cried. "He's BAD!"
"I am NOT bad!" Duo cried. "Wufei called me a GIRL! So I had to show I wasn't!"
"I said he probably had cooties!" Wufei declared.
/Ah, they're giving me a headache!/ Treize thought. "Just... just shh!" he said. "Mirialdo, give Wufei more ravioli. Not too much! Duo, you're coming with me. I know your parents left another set of clothes..."
"But there's nothing wrong wif the clothes I got on!" Duo cried. "I want to stay! Heero was gonna let me kiss him!"
"WAS NOT!" Heero yelped at the retreating pair, then started to choke on his ravioli and chocolate sprinkles.
"You shouwdn't bweathe youw food," Trowa said, alarmed as Quatre reached over to pound the dark-haired boy on the back.
"Thilly Hee-chan," Quatre said. "Here, have thome drink." Reaching across the table, he snagged Heero's sports bottle and handed it to him. Heero took a long swig to wash down the chocolate-sprinkles-and- ravioli, then gagged.
"What did he put in the milk?" he gasped.
"Salt, I think," Wufei answered. "It's all over the table, anyway."
Mirialdo just sighed and stood up to put his own cleaned plate into the sink.
Heero rubbed his eyes, determined not to cry in front of everyone. Why did Duo have to be so mean? Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he forced another mouthful of ravioli and chocolate sprinkles, and washed it down with salty milk.
"You don't hafta eat that," Wufei said confidentially, standing up in his chair and reaching the ravioli pot himself. He began to eat out of it with the spoon. "You can share this with me, instead. That's nasty. Duo hurt it."
"Thank you, Wufei," Heero said in a watery, quavering voice as he stood up to get a share of the ravioli. It was Wufei's house; he reasoned that if the host said he didn't have to eat it, then it must be so.
Meanwhile, shrieks had started to come from the direction of the bathroom.
"WAH! WAH! NOO~OOO!!! I DON'T NEED A BATH! DON'T WASH MY HAIR! I HATE IT WHEN YOU WASH MY HAIR!"
"You have ravioli in it!" came the cry, loud enough to send those in the kitchen wide-eyed. "Be STILL!"
"HELP! He's KILLING MEEEEEE!!!!!
"Do you think he'th really killing him?" Quatre asked, wide-eyed.
"I dunno... he was suwe cwanky..." Trowa replied.
Wufei licked his ravioli spoon and contemplated the last one before looking at Heero. "Do you want it?" he asked, being polite despite the sound of Duo's echoing screams.
"...did Treize have any?" Heero asked, suddenly concerned. He was still terribly hungry -- he'd only gotten a few un-doctored ravioli -- but still. The babysitter was already terribly cranky.
"Oooooh," Trowa and Quatre chorused.
"You thtole the babythitter'th food..."
"You'we gonna get in twoubwe..."
It was at that point that Mirialdo broke in again. "YEAH. You're gonna get in *trouble* 'cause you're *brats* and you ate all of Freckle-snoot's ravioli!"
"We... won't get in trouble," Wufei began tentatively. "Mister Treize *always* gives me more..." His lower lip began to tremble. "He said it was okay..."
Heero peered at the last ravioli and, as if considering the matter, put the pot down on the table. "Just in case," he said solemnly, though in case of *what*, who could say?
"I don't wanna get in trouble!" Wufei whimpered, his eyes beginning to well up with tears.
"We could give him Relena's..." Heero suggested.
"And there'th always yourth, Heero!" Quatre suggested.
"Maybe if we put it togethew, he won't notice that Duo messed up Heewo's," Trowa said excitedly.
"I don't know," Wufei said hesitantly. "Relena's Mommy and Daddy..." Before they knew what was happening, Miri had Relena's plate and was heading away with it.
"MIRIALDO!" Wufei gasped, eyes going wide. Oh, the nine year old had taken food out of the KITCHEN and that was bad, bad, BAD!
"We'll have to give him this, then," Heero said, indicating his own sorry-looking plate. "Let's pick the sprinkles out first. Hurry!" Several pairs of hands dove into the plate of ravioli in frantic haste. When Treize and Mirialdo returned to the room, all four of its young occupants were at least partially smeared in Ravioli and sauce, each of them suspiciously trying not to look at the pot. With a great deal of trepidation, Treize looked in, and what he saw had him gritting his teeth yet again. The pot held a mash of ravioli pieces, with a few renegade chocolate sprinkles mixed in.
"And just what, may I ask," he said, his tone one of forced patience, "is that?"
"Waviowi," Trowa told him tentatively. "It's GOOD waviowi!"
"It's good, maybe?" Wufei asked him, traces of the tears that had welled up still shimmering just beneath black lashes.
"That does *not* look like good wavi- I mean, ravioli to me. What did you kids DO to it?"
"DUO DID IT!" four shouts cried simultaneously.
"Why am I not surprised?" Treize muttered. Heero looked up at him, wanting desperately to ask for more food but certain that if he did, Treize would absolutely explode.
"You don't want to drink the milk, either," he pointed out helpfully.
"Agh!" Treize cried, causing Wufei to break out into a spontaneous set of hiccoughs as he began crying again, and Trowa and Quatre to hide beneath the table, managing to smear *their* ravioli stains on themselves and the floor.
"Okay! Okay! Don't cry! Don't cry!"
Mirialdo, by then, was quite impatient. "*I'm* telling on you! *I'M* telling that *you* made the babies *CRY!!*
"We are not BABIETH!"
"You take that back, ow else!"
"OW!" Miri cried out as Trowa crawled out from under the table and promptly bit his ankle. "OWWW!!!"
"Trowa!" Treize shouted. "Don't BITE!"
The sound of Treize shouting frightened Wufei right out of his tearful fit, but the sight of Mirialdo hopping around with a hand held to his bitten ankle brought on a downright fit of *giggles*. "Hehe! Miri! He bit Mirialdo!"
"He desewved it," Two... er, Trowa declared.
"Yeah! He detherved it!" Quatre said, nodding his head.
"Children," Treize said in a tone of exaggerated patience, "I'm beginning to get upset. Trowa, no biting. Nobody deserves to get bit."
"Not even a bad guy?" Heero asked, astonished. "My Dad said it's okay to bite bad guys."
"Okay, bad guys, yes. But not anyone in this house. There will be NO biting. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir."
"Yeth, thir."
"Yes, siw."
"Now. I want all of you to be on your BEST behavior for the rest of the night. That means no playing with food, no making messes, no dirty words... no doing anything you wouldn't want your parents to know about, because I WILL tell them. Ok?" When nods and downcast eyes met his gaze, he relaxed a bit. "Good. Now, Trowa and Quatre, I want you two to go get ready for a bath. Do you mind having a bath together?"
"I have to have a bath to myself!" Heero spoke up rapidly, eyes wide in near panic. Treize smiled gently despite his prior impatience; Heero had always been a shy child. His parents joked that he used to change his own diapers.
"That's fine," he said. "Trowa and Quatre?"
"We don't mind tharing," Quatre said.
"We wike having baths togethew," Trowa added. The two smiled, and then left the kitchen hand-in-Ravioli-smeared-hand.
"Can I have my toys?" Wufei asked hopefully. "I'm sorry Duo ruined the ravioli. And I'm sorry..." He frowned pitifully. "Heero and I ate the ravioli... but you said, Miri, give them some, and I thought..."
"He didn't mean *all* of it!" Mirialdo said, still sniffling and rubbing his bitten ankle.
Treize rolled his eyes slightly and sighed. "Mirialdo, please, go make sure Trowa and Quatre are bathing while I clean up this mess."
"Can I still have my toys?" Wufei persisted.
"YES, Wufei," Treize answered, "you can have your toys."
"And you'll bathe me!"
Oh, if only those words had come from Wufei's father...
*SPROING!*
"...a ...and I'll bathe you," Treize said, blushing.
"And I don't want anybody to bathe me!" Heero added.
"But you're just little," Mirialdo said. "You can't wash all by yourself. I'll bathe you."
"NO!"
"Heero doesn't *like* to be bathed," Wufei said pragmatically as he watched Treize clean up the mess they'd made with the ravioli, munching on one of the sesame cookies Wufei's mommy had made earlier in the day. "He doesn't want anyone to see him *naked*," he finished. "Can I have a cookie?"
"Don't say *naked!*" Heero gasped, covering himself with his hands as though his clothing had suddenly turned see-through.
"Heero can bathe all by himself, and that's that," Treize announced. "You're not allowed to lock the door, Heero, but nobody will walk in on you."
"Yes, they will!" Heero said, horrified.
"You have to leave the door unlocked so that if anything bad happens to you, I'll be able to get in and help you."
"But they'll come in while I'm in the bath and they'll SEE me!" Heero wailed. "Can't I just skip the bath?"
"NO," Treize answered sternly, "and that's that. All of you have Ravioli all over the place, so all of you are getting baths. Except Relena."
"Mirialdo took Relena ravioli!" Wufei said. "Can I have my cookie? I didn't get ice cream, and I really want a cookie... I've been good!" he said, beginning to fret.
Treize's wide horrified eyes turned on Mirialdo. "You left that child, your sister, alone... in a room... with a plate full of ravioli."
"Uh..." Mirialdo said. "Yes?"
"Unsupervised."
"Yes?"
"Alone."
"Ah... you already said that," Mirialdo pointed out.
"Can I have a cookie?"
Treize whimpered. "YOU'RE cleaning up her mess, Miri!"
"Can I have a cookie?"
"Fine!" Mirialdo retorted and, with a huff, left the kitchen. As Heero and Wufei slowly began nibbling on the cookies Treize had wearily handed them, they heard a voice shrieking from down the hall: "RELENA!!! WHAT KIND OF LADY **ARE** YOU???"
"She's no lady," Wufei told Heero as Treize loaded the dishwasher. "She's a..."
"Wufei!"
"She *is*!" Wufei told Treize. "She's a Very Nasty Little Girl!" This was said with great emphasis, and he nodded with each word. "I disapprove of her!"
"I disapprove of Cooties," Heero said around a mouthful of cookie. Treize rolled his eyes, but his face was turned away so that the children couldn't see.
"You two stay right there and behave," he instructed, and left to check on Quatre and Trowa. The two were quite cheerfully making shampoo-suds sculptures on each other's heads, and they beamed at him as he poked his head in the door.
"Everything Ok?" he asked.
"Yeth, thir!"
"Yes, Mistew Tweize. Evewything's fine."
"Good. Glad to hear it," Treize said, and continued down the hall to the room where Relena had been banished, only to be greeted by the sounds of her shrill shrieks.
"I WON'T clean it up, I WON'T clean it up, I WON'T clean it up!" Relena shouted at Mirialdo.
"Oh, YES, you will, or I'll BEAT you!" he promised.
She laughed at that. "If you hit me, I'll tell Daddy, and he'll *SPANK* you!"
"You... *BRAT*!" Miri spat; it was the worst epithet he could come up with at the moment.
End Part 2
(:./yoiko/wiwp3)
