26-Jul-2001
More silliness...honestly, I must have eaten some bad Chinese or something... >_<
Title: My Bodyguard
"Don't worry, Relena." Heero held the slender girl tightly, her face buried in his chest as he stroked her cornsilk hair. "I will always, always protect you from harm."
"Eerro. Mm mmmnt reeve."
"Oh, sorry." He released her, and she pulled her face back with a gasp.
"Oh for the love of pete," Relena snapped, still breathing a bit heavily, "let GO!" She squirmed out of his grip. "Look, you. I have told you time and time again not to follow me. I have asked you *repeatedly* not to show up at my house. And for the last time, keep your damn hands off me!"
"Relena!" Heero said reproachfully. "I'm only doing my job."
She crossed her arms. "Heero. Hiding in my bushes is not your job. *You* work at Radio Shack."
"That's a triviality. Guarding you is my life!"
"You don't *have* a life!" She stomped her foot. "This is the fifth time in two months I've caught you outside my house at night! You're constantly calling, begging for attention, interrupting my meetings and getting in the way! You've followed me from one end of the universe to the other! LISTEN," she held out her hands, struggling to control her temper. "I think I've made myself clear from the first time we met: I. Am. Not. Interested. In. You. Okaaaaaay?"
Heero blinked, then stared moodily up at the stars. "Maybe it's better that way," he said in a husky voice. "Maybe getting involved with your bodyguard would compromise your safety..."
"Are you completely MENTAL? You are NOT my BODYGUARD!" Relena yelled.
He swept her into his arms, smiling wolfishly. "Then there's nothing left to stand in the way of our love...darling Relena..."
She gave him a few good, hard smacks, then pushed him away.
"All right," she snarled, panting, while Heero reeled on the ground. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. HERE!" She rummaged around in the pocket of her bathrobe. Finally, she withdrew a piece of paper and brandished it triumphantly.
"What's this?" Heero frowned, eyeing the paper.
"A restraining order!" Relena announced, waving it around. "Come within 500 feet of me again and you'll be guarding my ass from the Lake Victoria Stockade. Yeah," she jeered, watching Heero turn white, "how ya like me now, huh? Huh?"
"Noooo!" Heero moaned. "Relena, why? Why do you persist in pushing me away? When did things turn so cold between us?"
"Last week," Relena scowled. "After you followed me into the Starvin' Marvin and beat up that poor woman."
Heero's eyes narrowed. "She was a threat."
"She was a cashier!"
"She was giving you a weird look!"
"YOU WERE THROWING ROSE PETALS AT MY FEET!"
"Well *Relena*," Heero said patiently, rolling his eyes, "You're the Queen of the *World*."
She turned bright red and thrust the restraining order at him. He took it, smoothed out the creases in the paper, folded it neatly into a tiny square, placed it on the ground, took out his gun, and shot it four times.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHH!!" Relena screamed, ran around in a little circle, then dashed into the house, slamming the door behind her.
Heero stood on the doorstep. He scratched his arm and listened to the bolts and chains sliding into place on the other side of the door.
"So," he called out. "Did you want me to hang around for a while, or...?"
~~owari
(:./hotaru/bodyg)
