28-Dec-2004
Title: Hamartia
Author: Mookie
Characters: Heero, Duo
Rating: PG13
Warning: angst
Notes: Based on this
pic by Natea.
The beeping sounds always got to Duo, along with the smells. There was nothing that felt like the inside of a hospital. Shades of pale blues and greens, and long stretches of white. The very interior seemed suggestive of a never-ending stream of unconsciousness.
He ignored his own personal distaste for hospitals and inquired at the desk, nodding and smiling his thanks before heading toward the elevator. When the doors slid shut, he inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth, just like he'd seen on television.
It didn't help, although at least the smell in the elevator was less antiseptic in nature than the rest of the building.
The room he was looking for, so he'd been told, was around the corner and halfway down the hall. He passed by a row of windows, the soles of his shoes squeaking against the polished linoleum. Here the predominant sound was voices coming from various rooms - some hushed and others louder than they should have been.
The door was open and he didn't bother to knock. Heero was sitting on the edge of the bed, a blanket over his shoulders, head bowed and fingers laced. He looked up as soon as Duo's frame appeared in the doorway and he shrugged off the shroud, sliding off the bed and shoving his feet into his boots without unlacing them first.
A thick white bandage covered a good portion of his forehead including his left eyebrow. He didn't meet Duo's gaze, merely nodded when Duo asked unnecessarily if he was ready to go.
He was quiet as the nurse wheeled him to the entrance and didn't say a word as Duo opened the passenger door. When Duo pulled up to Heero's apartment, however, he did mumble a 'thank you' before shutting the car door behind him.
Duo watched him go, wanting to do something, but unsure of what exactly that something was.
He picked up Heero the next morning, just as he'd promised when Heero had called him from the hospital. Heero's car had been totaled as far as the insurance company was concerned, and he didn't seem to hear any of Duo's suggestions that maybe the two of them together could salvage it.
In fact, Duo got the distinct impression that Heero was almost afraid to even try.
Déjà vu, Duo thought. The same soft expression of gratitude, the same slouched posture as he walked away from Duo's car. Duo found himself pulling out of the parking lot with great reluctance.
He managed not to dwell on Heero's seeming depression, especially during lunch when he and his coworkers went to lunch to celebrate the 50th birthday of their manager.
The gifts ranged from practical to amusing, and one of them was received with a good-natured laugh, even if he gave it away afterwards, proclaiming it more Duo's style than his own. And so it sat on the dashboard, attached with two small suction cups, when he went to pick up Heero.
If Duo wasn't mistaken, Heero spent the entire duration of the ride looking out the window.
This time when he got to Heero's apartment, he drove behind the building and into Heero's assigned parking spot, then turned off the ignition and got out of the car. He glanced at the nodding dog head on his dash, glad that at least someone agreed with what he was doing.
Heero didn't seem at all put out by Duo's intent to stay for dinner. He went about the kitchen with more energy than he'd shown over the past twenty-two hours, his hands sure and steady as he prepared supper for two.
Duo's brows furrowed. Heero's hands had always been steady - except for last night at the hospital when they'd trembled in his lap slightly.
The sound of the wind outside rattled at Heero's windows, and he looked at Duo sharply for a moment, then got out of his chair and turned on the radio. A winter advisory warning was in effect. Heero's palms were flat against the counter for the span of several heartbeats before he turned and asked Duo to stay.
There was no way Duo could turn down the faintly pleading look in those eyes.
Try as he might, Duo couldn't sleep. It wasn't that Heero's couch was uncomfortable, it was the knowledge that there was something right in front of his face; something he was missing.
He turned to face the back of the couch in irritation.
What the hell was it?
The way Heero reacted in the car, the way he didn't want to talk about what had happened, the way he didn't want Duo to drive - these were all hints.
What Duo needed first was to line up the facts as he knew them.
Heero had called him last night. All he'd told Duo was that he'd totaled his car and that he needed a ride home.
Duo frowned at the button on the sofa in his direct line of sight.
The roads had been a bit icy last night. It was no wonder that Heero hadn't wanted Duo to drive home.
He turned over again and let his arm hang off the side of the couch. His braid was hopelessly trapped under his body but he wasn't motivated enough to move again.
Heero had flown a mobile suit in inclement weather, had driven ground vehicles recklessly any number of times. He'd certainly suffered more than a minor head wound, and he didn't seem to be suffering signs of brain damage.
Duo's fingers scraped against the pile of carpet.
What was it that he'd heard before he'd turned the corner toward Heero's room? Something he'd dismissed out of hand as not applying to Heero, especially when prefaced with "damn fool."
But then, hadn't all of them done more than their share of foolish things? Hadn't he told Heero himself how crazy he'd been, or how very 'not normal'?
If what he'd heard had been directed at Heero, then he didn't know what more proof was needed that Heero was a lot closer to normal than any of them had ever given him credit for. Mind made up, he got up off the couch, the blanket trailing behind him like a cloak.
Although he'd known Heero slept in the nude, it never occurred to him that he'd walk in on his friend in such a state, so determined was he to check on Heero. Just to assure himself of... well, Duo hadn't been sure exactly why he'd wanted to check on Heero, other than it seemed the right thing to do.
He found Heero sitting up in bed, his frame visible in the moonlight coming through the window. It highlighted the lean lines of Heero's body. One knee was drawn up to his chest and he was clutching at his arm, head bowed in an expression of defeat. Duo took the spare blanket from his own shoulders and draped it over Heero before stepping back and sitting on the edge of the bed tentatively.
"It was an accident."
Heero said nothing, only clutched the edges of the blanket and pulled them closer to his body.
"Heero... " Duo's felt Heero's despair as if it were in his own. He felt that same longing to bring comfort. A memory flitted through his brain, of Sister Helen, and he felt another pang.
He and Heero weren't so different.
Duo crawled across the mattress and placed his arm around Heero, rubbing his hand up and down the thick blanket. When Heero finally said something, Duo had to strain to hear it.
He bit back the urge to ask "killed what?" and filled in the blanks on his own. It definitely explained why Heero would have swerved in the kind of weather they'd had last night, losing control of his car on the black ice. Duo suspected it just might explain Heero's sudden aversion to a bobble headed novelty item as well.
They sat together in the moonlit room and together mourned the innocent lives that had been snuffed out too soon.
The End
(:./mookie/hamartia)
