06-Dec-2002
Author: Draco
Word Count: 754
Pairing: Noin/Zechs
Warnings: Angst
Title: A Matter of Choice
Death smelled like hell. The sickening combination of blood and the body purging always turned her stomach. Ducking her head in the toilet, Noin threw up.
Sweat and tears stung her eyes, but she was too tired to even wipe them away.
"Noin?" Zechs voice. He sounded as if he was standing outside of the cramped bathroom of the shuttle.
Noin cursed underneath her breath. He was the last person she wanted to see.
Hurriedly, she swiped her mouth with one hand, and her eyes with the other. As she stood up, she fought a wave of dizziness, and steadied herself on the wall.
"Noin, are you all right?" Zechs asked again.
"I will be out in a moment," Noin answered as she flushed the toilet. Turning on the water in the sink, she washed her face efficiently then dried it with the nearest towel.
She glanced up at the mirror quickly to check herself, but the reflection startled her. General Noin's eyes stared back at her.
"I'm not like you," she whispered. Her father's eyes looked unconvinced.
Taking a deep breath, Noin opened the door, and found herself face to face with Zechs.
"Noin..."
"I'm fine."
"It had to be done," Zechs said.
It had to be done, Lucrezia.
"No, it did not," Noin said. She knew she was imagining it, but she could smell the blood on him.
"Noin, he wired himself to a bomb. He would have killed us all," Zechs said.
You will understand when you are older, Lucrezia. There was no other way.
"There is always another way," Noin said evenly. "I could have taken him out without killing him." She had been the closest to the assassin and she had already planned her move when she heard the shot being fired. The sound of gunshot and Relena's high pitched scream still vibrated in the edge of her memory.
"I couldn't take that chance, Noin," Zechs stepped closer to her. Very slowly his hand reached out and touched her face. "Not with Relena's life... and not with yours."
I'm soldier, I must do what it is necessary to protect us all.
Noin felt sick. Fighting desperately to regain equilibrium, she focused on Zech's hand. It felt hot against her skin. With effort, she met his eyes. His other hand had reached around her, and he was slowly pulling her towards him.
"I'm sorry, Noin," Zechs whispered. Soft lips pressed against hers and Noin felt herself trembling. Zechs slowly pried opened her mouth with his tongue and pressed inside. Noin noticed his closed eyes and the long ridge of his nose before she finally gathered herself and roughly pushed Zechs away.
Light blue eyes widened.
"What are you doing?" Noin asked.
A silence fell between them.
"I'm sorry, I misunderstood," Zechs said and walked away.
Noin watched retreating blonde hair disappear at the end of the corridor before stepping back into the bathroom. Bracing herself against the rim of the toilet, she threw up again and did not stop until there was nothing left but green bile. Carefully, she stood up, and rinsed out her mouth over the sink.
The reflection in the mirror regarded her coolly.
"I must have tasted like vomit," Noin told her reflection and laughed. Her father's eyes laughed with her.
"That was our first kiss too," Noin said. And after a moment, she added, "And the last."
Tears fell out of her father's eyes, and it looked very wrong.
Wiping away her tears, Noin laughed again, "I had always wondered what you would look like if you cried."
"I know, I know. Soldiers never cry."
She considered her statement for a moment.
"Soldiers must choose who lives and dies for the greater good," Noin repeated her father's words. Her father's eyes seem to beam in agreement. "Today, you choose. Tomorrow, someone will choose for you."
"But I refuse to choose," Noin looked away. "I have given up that power a long time ago."
"Yet, you chose to die for him," Noin met her father's eyes again. They were full of mockery.
"But, that's a different choice. A different gambit..." Noin whispered. "I would have died for you too, father."
Her words echoed slightly in the tiny space of the bathroom. Carefully she pressed the palm of her hand on the mirror.
"You were wrong, Father" Noin said finally. "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. I made my choice today."
The End
(:./draco/snog20)
