04-Jul-2001
Category: songfic, yaoi, mild angst, POV
Rating: R
Pairings: 1+2, 3x2/2x3
Warnings: Citrus of the lime variety (I think).
Spoilers: Absolutely none, written out of whole cloth
Feedback: C&C
Notes: Should be writing a Duo and Wufei story, but this insisted on shooting out of my fingertips. Listening to my Very Best of Rufus featuring Chaka Khan cd and here you have it one songfic. Lyrics aren't meant to be taken literally and if you want to skip them all together, the story should still make sense. ^__^
[--lyrics--]
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.
[I will love you anyway
Even if you cannot stay
I think you are the one for me
Here is where you ought to be]
I'm still not sure when this really happened. Life started out simply enough, despite near killing himself for the sake of the colonies, I was in love with Heero Yuy. At least I thought I was, until Quatre Winner convinced me of two things. First, what I felt for Heero wasn't love but just fanboy hero worship, no pun intended. It was true I wanted to emulate my life as much as possible to the mysterious Yuy. I thought I was a strong fighter in the past, but all the months I spent alone with Heero, getting to know him and falling in love ... er, fantasizing about him, helped me to become an even stronger fighter, willing to survive anything. The second thing Quatre convinced me of was that I was really in love with him. That assessment didn't last as long as the first point. Don't get me wrong, I do love Quatre but as the dreaded "f" word, "friend". We tried the togetherness thing, until I could take it no more. I broke it off with him as gently as I could, but he continued to glare daggers into me, months after the fact. There was no confessing my feelings to Heero because he and Duo had long since became a couple. So I gave up on finding love and decided that concentrating on ending the war was more important.
So over time, when did I decide that it wasn't Heero that I loved but Duo?
[I just want to satisfy ya
Though you're not mine
I can't deny ya
Don't you hear me talking baby?
Love me now or I'll go crazy]
Nothing like a near death experience to bring about an epiphany. Duo and I were caught in a cold weather clime fighting mobile suits. Siberia, I believe. Both our suits sustained heavy damage and rather than freeze separately while we waiting for the others to come find us, we opted for a meager attempt at body warmth as we froze together.
Huddled together inside Deathscythe since the heat partially worked in it (which was no mean feat let me tell you, the cockpits of all these suits were damn tiny), we sat and talked about any and everything that popped in our heads. I told Duo about my love, er I mean, worship of Heero and he understood. No bitch-slapping 'stay away from my man' kind of thing, just understanding. He told me at times he felt the same way and wondered if he was with Heero because of love or just admiration. We talked of my failed relationship with Quatre. He offered sympathy that he didn't need to offer.
As we talked of our pasts and earliest memories, we discovered we had much more in common than we originally thought. Both nameless, taken in by strangers that eventually left us, usually not by choice. We had good things and bad things happen and survived it all.
Duo laughed, saying he couldn't remember a time I was so chatty. Then he kissed me. It was an innocent, sweet kiss. I smiled and hugged him. Hugging became stroking. Stroking turned into groping and had we not had radio contact with Heero saying they were minutes away, who knows what would have happened. Who am I kidding? I know exactly what would have happened, and so did Duo. Yet neither one of us felt all that remorseful for what almost occured.
[Oh sweet thing
Oh you know you're my everything?
Oh sweet thing
Oh you know you're my everything?
Yes, you are]
By mutual agreement, we decided that we shouldn't spend much time alone together. If we were in a safe house and it was just us two there, one would leave to find something to do in town until the others returned.
[I wish you were my lover
But ya act so undercover
To love you child my whole life long
Be it right, or be it wrong]
Dammit, what is it with me and the silent types? Okay, Trowa's not all that silent. He just needed a little prompting. Quatre was an idiot to push him in that relationship. You should never try to push Trowa into anything. He's a lot like the wild animals he tends to when he's at the circus. If he feels smothered, he'll bolt like a frightened colt.
I loved the evil glares Quatre kept shooting at Wufei. Poor Wufei was bewildered by them. I guess I should tell him that Quatre is convinced that Trowa wants Wu. Although the evil part of me would love to see how it plays out in the end, we need to maintain unity if we're going to finish this war together in one piece.
I looked over at Heero. He was deep in thought, staring at the computer, willing it to give us an assignment. The idea of a quiet moment was something nearly unbearable to Heero. Yet any distraction I offered to him, not all of them hentai, usually got a dismissive grunt. So essentially I gave up.
Wufei and Trowa were playing chess. I walked over to watch them play. I knew he's watching me without having to look into his eyes. But I did anyway. I looked up to see deep emerald eyes staring slyly at me. My eyes forcibly break contact to notice he's absently stroking the pawn on the chessboard with his finger.
Wufei grumbled, "Are you going to make a move or not?"
I smiled because I realize he already had, even if he hadn't realized it.
[I'm only what you make me, baby
Don't walk away, don't be so shady
Don't want your mind, don't want your money
These words I say, they may sound funny, but...]
Heero got his wish. A mission had come through. He wanted Wufei and Quatre to go with him. Normally I would protest being left behind, but I don't this time. I think I'm perfectly happy to be left behind. Trowa was frowning at Heero. We've learned long ago that arguing with Heero was a lesson of futility. He never listened to reason or suggestions if it didn't agree with his personal dogma. But it looked like Trowa was still sticking to our unspoken agreement to not be alone together..
[Oh sweet thing
Oh you know you're my everything?
Oh sweet thing
Oh you know you're my everything?
Yes, you are]
Everyone left an hour ago. Trowa reached for his jacket and keys.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
Trowa won't meet my gaze. "Out."
"Don't go," I said trying not to sound as desperate as I know I felt. "I don't want you to go."
Dammit, he still won't look at me. Well desperate times... I grabbed him and held him close to me.
[You are my heat
You are my fire
You make me weak with strong desire
To love you child my whole life long
Be it right, or be it wrong]
I found I was holding my breath. I couldn't believe Duo was holding me. Every point where our two bodies met seared me with a heat I can't begin to describe. The fact that I wanted to push him down on the nearest surface and have my way with him was not lost on me.
I finally found my voice. "Are you sure, this is what you want, Duo?" I said, breathless.
Duo's answer came in the form of a kiss. A deep, mindblowing, searing kiss. I could not get enough of the lips that were pressed into mine. I don't remember whose tongue found the others first. My knees were getting weak. The thought of doing the 'right' thing and leaving fled from my head. Pulling out of the kiss, common sense tried to return. "Duo," I managed to breathe out as his hands busily stripped me of my sweater. His hands were warm and as they stroked my chest as though he was sculpting every muscle, I could feel that common sense I was tenuously holding on to vanish with every stroke.
I took his hands and kissed each fingertip. Duo's eyes got larger, if such a thing was possible. I slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Kissing every inch of exposed skin my eye could see, I don't remember when we reached the bedroom at all.
[I just want to satisfy ya
Though you're not mine
I can't deny ya
Don't you hear me talking baby?
Love me now or I'll go crazy]
Why should I be surprised that Trowa would be so tender when making love? He's a closet romantic and somehow I don't think it's anything that Quatre had to teach him. I knew he was fighting this losing battle with lust, of course, I wasn't going to make it so easy for him to escape.
When he slid inside me so gently, so carefully, I suddenly knew this wasn't lust anymore. It was more. We drove our bodies to the farthest peaks possible. God, what have I done? I don't want to lose this. I watched the slow rise and fall of Trowa's chest and thought to myself that this couldn't be a mistake at all.
[You're my heat, you are my fire
You're not mine, I can't deny ya
Don't you hear me talking, baby?
Love me now, or I'll go crazy]
I opened my eyes and ... well opened my eyes. Duo was using my shoulder as a pillow, his wonderfully compact body splayed over mine. How did I manage to fall so deeply in love with him? What happens when the others returned? Will we go back to keeping a discreet distance from each other. Was that even possible anymore?
I don't want to be separated from him. I don't want Heero killing me either, but playing with fire, and Duo is all fire, someone has to get burned. Big blue eyes that sometimes look purple stared back at me with a sweet, self-assured grin.
"What a mess, ne?" he smiled at me.
"What do we do now?" I asked.
He smiled and with the end of his braid, he began to tease the nipples on my chest. "I wish I knew. Well lying is out of the question. I guess I'll talk to Heero."
I stopped the teasing touch of his hair by gently grabbing his hand. "We will talk to Heero together. We're in this mess together, remember?"
Suddenly Duo was everywhere, kissing me, hugging me. "You know you're too good to be true."
I don't know why that statement would make me giddy, but it did. I fought down my renewed arousal. "We better get dressed. I don't think we want Heero to find out this way."
Duo sighed unhappily. "I suppose so."
The others returned exhausted and tired. So we decided to tell them the next day.
The talk with Heero went a lot better than I anticipated it being. He glared at Duo, then me. Told us love was a wasted emotion in times of war and dismissed us like we were misbehaving children. Duo shrugged and said, "That's Heero for you."
I knew that Heero was probably more hurt than he was letting on. But since pressing the issue could result in the loss of life (mine), I let it go.
Quatre didn't take it with quite as much grace as Heero. Wufei just stared at us like we were crazy. Quatre was cornering me for another talk, all the while glaring at Duo.
Somehow I don't think he will be able to convince me that I don't love Duo however. But it's only polite to hear what he had to say though.
OWARI
(:./babaca/sweething)
