06-Jun-2000
Category: Hmm. Some Angst
Warnings: Yaoi. Some Lemon. Some Lime.
Note: Kind of a prequel to my songfic, Even Deeper. Was going to put the words to The Fragile here, but it's a pretty long fic that I should break up into chapters instead.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them (bet it would be fun). Don't sue. If you don't like male-male relationships, don't read.
The circus arrived on L4 three months after Trowa left that colony to be with Catherine. He didn't know what he thought about being back. He figured he should call Quatre and let him know he was there. He just couldn't make himself do it."Trowa," asked Catherine, "Are you going to see Quatre?"
"No."
"No? Did you two have a fight or something?"
"No fight. And I don't want to talk about it," he said as he walked to the Lion's cage.
"Quatre, I understand Trowa's circus is in town," said Abdul gauging the younger man's reaction.
"Really?" asked Quatre trying to determine if what he felt was excitement or dread.
"Yes. Do you want to go?" //What are you trying to do here, torture the boy?\\
"I want to go, but I don't want him to see me."
"Easy enough to fix," said Abdul as he put his fez and sunglasses on Quatre. The boy looked silly in them. "Okay, we'll come up with a better disguise. Abdul should have left the estate a month ago, but he found he enjoyed the company of the younger man. They had settled in a nice friendship. They found that together their loneliness would lessen.
Once a disguise was agreed upon, the two went to see Trowa and the circus. When Trowa first appeared for Catherine's knife act, Abdul could sense Quatre tensing up. //This was a bad idea.\\ He decided to take his focus off his friend and settle it on the one causing his friend so much pain.
//He's gotten taller. Whoa, when did he get muscles? What's up with that hair? He is graceful. Does he look sad? No, that's his usual look. I'll never understand why someone so full of life like Quatre would choose someone who constantly looks haunted. At least Rani has a lust for life like myself.\\ Rani. He did miss her desperately. //Dammit, stop torturing yourself!\\
It was Quatre's time to look over to his new friend. //I must be getting good at reading his feelings behind those sunshades. He looks sad. I wonder if he's thinking about Rani.\\ He turned his attention to Trowa, now doing a highwire act. //Trowa, why are you avoiding me? Why didn't you tell me you were in town? Wait, did he see me?\\
Trowa was on the highwire doing his act. He had done it hundreds of times and although he knew he had to concentrate, his mind was wandering. //I wonder if Quatre is here. Do I see a blonde over there?\\ His eyes passed over to where Quatre was sitting but he didn't see him. Not that he would have found him, Quatre was wearing a dark wig. //Should I see him? No, I'm better off alone.\\
The performances were over. The two men left the tent.
"You want to go to him, don't you Quatre?" asked Abdul.
"No."
"Liar," smiled Abdul.
"I'm not doing the chasing this time. He knows where I live. Let's go," said Quatre with confidence that he really didn't feel.
"I'm impressed, Quatre-sama," said Abdul genuinely.
"Don't call me that. I've done nothing to deserve that high an acknowledgment."
They rode home in silence. When they arrived at the estate, Quatre headed straight into the study. Abdul respected his desire for solitude and went to his room.
Hours passed. Abdul was reading a magazine on his bed, when there was a knock on the door.
"Yes?"
"It's me. Can I come in?"
"Sure, it's your house, isn't it?"
The boy entered the room. He looked a wreck. Abdul could tell by the shiny nose and red eyes that the boy had been crying. Abdul did what instinct dictated him to do. He opened his arms.
Quatre ran into the older man's arms and began to cry again. Abdul held the boy and made calming noises.
"I'm sorry, Abdul," the boy said between sniffles.
"It's okay, Quatre-chan. Just get it all out. You can cry for as long as you want. There's no shame in tears, just don't tell Rashid I said that."
This evoked a small laugh from Quatre. "Kisama."
"Well! What a mouth for such a refined person like yourself," laughed Abdul. Soon both men were laughing while still in the embrace. Quatre stopped laughing and stared up at his friend. He reached up and took off the sunshades and looked into his eyes.
Abdul looked back at the boy. //At least he's stopped crying.\\
Quatre pulled the man down to him for a kiss. It was a tentative kiss on the lips. The man kissed him back. He felt encouraged by that and settle for a more provocative kiss. He darted his tongue at Abdul willing the man to allow him access. The older man's lips parted a little and Quatre plunged in seeking the sweet recesses of the other's mouth.
Abdul pulled back. Slightly surprised and a little breathless. "Qua... Quatre?"
"Are you angry?" Quatre asked anxiously. This man had been his lifeline for the past month, he really didn't want to ruin anything.
Abdul thought about it. "No, I'm not angry. I think you are missing Trowa and you are seeking comfort I'm not so sure I can give."
"Do I repulse you?"
"No. Not at all. You are my friend."
"Have you ever ... with a man?" asked Quatre.
"No. Let's turn this around. Have you ever had sex with a woman?"
"No."
"So, let me ask you a hypothetical question. If I were a woman and had made the gesture to you what would you do?"
"If you were a woman? I think I might try and see if it would be something I could do," said Quatre after some
thought."That's an interesting answer. Here's my proposal. Next time you want to kiss me, think about why you are doing it. Are you doing it because you want me or to get back at Trowa? Or is it just a means to kill the loneliness? When you have the correct answer come to me," said Abdul.
"Are you saying you want me?" asked Quatre surprised.
"Umm... That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying have your priorities in order first that's all," Abdul said nervously. //Do I want this boy?\\ He had accepted the boy's hugs and pecks on the cheek like that of a small child offering affection to an uncle. But that last kiss troubled him some. It felt nice. His lips were soft and that tongue felt sinfully good in his mouth.
"Okay, fair enough as you'd say. But can I stay here for a while?"
"Sure, Quatre." They stayed in each other's arms for the rest of the night.
A few days later, Abdul told Quatre he had to head back to earth.
"But why?" asked Quatre, panicked. "Is this about the other night?"
"No, of course not. I've been up here for almost two months now. I need to get back to my life back on earth. Don't worry, I'll stay in touch, Quatre."
That last sentence worried him. That's what Trowa told him three months ago and he never contacted him.
"Can I come with you then?"
Abdul could see the fear in the boy's eyes. "Sure you can come. Rashid and the others will be happy to see you."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Get some things packed and let's go," Abdul said with a smile. The boy grabbed him in a tight embrace then bounded off to the house to pack.
End part 2
(:./babaca/fragile2)
