02-Jan-2005
Title: Dimples Under Her Camo (part if the Moonie Cult Series)
Author: Muffie
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, its characters, its quotations, or its plotlines. They belong to the Sotsu Agency who owns their trademark, Bandai who licenses their use, and, of course, the guy who created them. I am neither receiving payment for this work, nor will I accept any. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warnings: Fluffy! And Moonies. Post EW.
Spoilers: None
Rating: R (for sexual innuendo and a Moonie Cult Recruiting Pamphlet)
Pairing: R + H, 1xDimples, 2+6+2
Archives: www.gwaddiction.com,
Notes: Sequel to "Moonie Cult Recruiting Pamphlet" and "I Dream of Houdini". Inspired by a gorgeous piece of art by Asuka Kureru (Muffie is so jealous of her artistic abilities) called Hilde x Relena 1 that the Muffster found at http://sweetlysour.net/ . Asuka's Hilde is uber-sexy. Muffie wishes she was Asuka's Hilde. Insert mournful sigh here.
Wufei put on that awful smirk of his and spread his cards on the table. "I'll have you on your knees kissing my boots now, Maxwell."
Duo snorted like the ambassador from Iran was prone to do when he had to deal with a female and slapped his cards down. "Right. Maybe in Wububbles-land three pair beats a flush, but here in reality, you lost."
Relena covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. Wububbles. Wufei was turning a funny color of red.
Duo leaned back in his seat rather like some sort of smug fairy and smirked Wufei's awful smirk. "You forfeit, my man. I want to know the pet name Heero gave you."
Wufei glared. "Such things are private."
"You can strip."
Relena shook her head. "It's against the rules. Remember Duo? We said no taking clothes off."
Duo grinned at her. "Right Lena. C'mon Wu-Wu. You agreed to pay the forfeits before you played the game. Did you see me trying to welsh when you made me kiss your butt?"
Wufei turned neon red and glowered at the floor. Poor floor, what did it ever do to earn such a glare? Relena giggled again, then covered her mouth up. Wufei mumbled something and Heero studied the ceiling as if it held all of the secrets of the universe.
"Sorry, Wu, I didn't hear you."
Wufei glared, though his blush made the effect more endearing than anything else. "Dimples."
Duo blinked at him. "Dimples? Dimples? Why Dimples?"
"The forfeit was to tell you the name, not explain it." Wufei sniffed.
Duo turned to Heero and grinned. "Okay, Spandex boy. Why do you call him Dimples?"
Heero didn't stop his perusal of the ceiling. "Is that my forfeit?"
"Yup!"
"He has the sexiest set of dimples on his ass."
Duo's grin turned naughty. Honestly, she had no idea what her brother saw in him. Well. He was fiercely loyal and a lot fun, but well, he had this fascination with sex that was indecent at the best of times and completely inappropriate at the worst of times. Though, with his eyes and lean body he was almost sexy. Had she just thought of Duo Maxwell as sexy? Of course not. Just an aberration. Nothing to worry about.
"C'mon Wu, you gotta show us. I wanna see sexy dimples!"
Relena shook her head. "No. I do not want to see Wufei's dimples."
Heero dropped his fascination with the ceiling in favor of staring at her with those bedroom eyes of his. Really, there ought to be a law against those eyes. "What's Relena's forfeit?"
Duo pouted, but turned his bedroom eyes on her, too. "Somehow, I don't think that she'd wrestle Wu-stud into submission and take his pants off so we can see his dimples and even if she agreed, she'd probably fail. Snugglefei can get pretty tough when his modesty is at stake."
Heero turned his glare on Duo. "No one is stripping Wufei."
Duo, the incorrigible cad, just grinned. "You're a spoilsport, Heero. Lena, babe, your turn." And then he laughed. Evilly.
Relena trudged down the hotel hallway, reminding herself that ladies do not grumble. How could he? Did he know her secret? Was that why he was humiliating her so? Too bad those three ex-gundam rats were peering around the corner to watch this travesty or she would have stooped to lying her teeth off. She sent Duo the Fink her most quelling glare, then hesitantly knocked on the door to room 915.
"Coming!" Hilde just had to be here. Why couldn't she be off shopping like a normal girl? She put on her brightest smile when she heard the bolt shoot open. Then she was met with a pair of sleepy eyes that managed to convey Heero's piercing sexuality and Duo's languorous sensuality all at the same time. "Re--Miss Peacecraft?"
Dear God. Hilde was wearing a thin red cotton camisole style top that stopped just below her, er, bosoms and a baggy pair of camouflage pants that hung about her rounded hips. Dear God. The top button was undone. Relena forgot how to breathe.
"Miss Peacecraft? Are you all right?"
That long expanse of creamy golden flesh between that undone button and the bottom of that top rippled and Relena licked her lips. Dear God.
"Miss Relena? Is there something you needed?"
Dear God was there. Who knew a naked belly button was so enticing? She curled her hands into fists to keep from touching and the crunch of paper startled her. Oh. Right. The forfeit. Time to abjectly humiliate herself so Hilde would have an even worse opinion of her. She shot a glare at Duo and decided she would sic all of the giggling idiot girls she knew on him at the first opportunity.
Squaring her shoulders, she put on her best diplomat's smile and lifted the pamphlet. "I've been asked to explain the Unification Church to you." The problem was that she knew nothing of the church itself.
Hilde blinked, then tilted her head a little in confusion. "The Moonies?"
"Oh, is that what they're called?"
"Duo put you up to this, didn't he?" Hilde smiled and that sent a quiet little shock down to Relena's toes. "That idiot got fascinated right before he hooked up with Blondie."
"Well, I don't know much about them, actually." She tried to pull her eyes away from the dip in Hilde's pants, she really did. She licked her lips and tried to think of something interesting to say about Moonies. "The Moonies are a, well, they're... "
Hilde's smile shifted from the pleased to see you sort of smile that always warmed a person on the inside to something that set Relena's insides on fire. Oh my, this wasn't good at all. As the Vice Foreign Minister, she had a standard of decorum to maintain. Melting at Hilde's feet simply did not meet that standard.
"The Moonies are...?" Hilde prodded.
"They're... " She licked her lips again and opened the pamphlet Duo had supplied. "Oh dear God!" That wasn't, no, it wasn't. Dear God it was! Her heart took off like a race horse and she suddenly couldn't breathe.
Hilde reached for the pamphlet. "What did that idiot do now?"
Relena squeaked and hid the pamphlet behind her back. "Nothing! It's nothing!" Oh dear God!
Hilde chuckled. It was husky and warm and smooth and-- "You're red as a tomato. What'd he do?"
"N-nothing!" Well, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to let Hilde see those indecent pictures. Perhaps she could find out if Hilde had a sexy set of dimples under her camouflage. Dear God what she could do with a sexy set of dimples. Perhaps they could--No! "I, I'm sorry to have bothered you!"
Hilde's eyes narrowed and that was the only warning she got before Hilde pounced. They hit the carpeted floor in the hallway in a flurry of skirts and combat pants. Relena tried to swallow an undignified eep when Hilde landed on top of her with a hand cradling the back of her head. Worse, the Moonie pamphlet fluttered to rest across her face and Hilde snatched it up before she could hide that horrible, perverted thing.
Something that sounded rather like Duo-giggles, a hand hitting the back of a braided head, and a "shut up, idiot!" whispered down the length of hallway. Relena cringed, but Hilde appeared oblivious. Instead, Hilde sat up, straddling Relena's hips indecently and opened that awful Moonie pamphlet. Hilde's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. Why was that so attractive on Hilde but so repulsive on others, like, say, Duo Maxwell? Relena closed her own eyes. This was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to her. Even more humiliating than the first time she'd come across Duo and her brother lip-locked on the couch and she realized that Duo was wearing her most expensive lingerie and he looked better in it than she did and she couldn't even get mad at him because Heero made him do it to pay off one of those forfeits they were foreve--
"Seven. Left front pocket?"
"What?" Relena cracked an eye open.
Hilde dropped the pamphlet and started prodding at her most indelicately. Relena couldn't keep the blush off of her face. "Hilde! What on Earth are you--what is that?"
That cheeky girl just grinned at her. "It's a vibrator. It's not yours, then?" Hilde twisted the bottom and thing started buzzing like a chainsaw cutting through ancient oak. Hilde's grin turned wicked. "The batteries seem to be pretty fresh."
Despite her flaming cheeks, Relena managed a wicked smirk of her own. She had no idea where the daring-do came from, not when it involved more worldly pursuits, but she wasn't going to let Hilde get the better of her. At least, not without a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs. She picked up the pamphlet and opened it up. "I believe that fresh batteries are required for this sort of thing." She let her finger trail suggestively down the length of the pamphlet until it pointed to two intertwined woman, one of whom was wielding a rather imposing vibrator on the nether parts of the other.
"Aren't we lucky, then, babe, um, Miss Relena?" Hilde lowered herself until her forehead pressed to Relena's and their noses bumped.
Relena smiled in pure satisfaction. "Call me babe."
The End
(:./muffie/moonie3)
