Title: Embracing The Darkness - 6/6
Author: tkmaxwell777 & Iniquity
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 1x2x1, 3x4x3, 2+OC, 5+OC
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not ours; we borrow the characters, rearrange their lives for our own pleasure, and then return them to their original owners to sort out at their discretion :) 'Animal' belongs to Def Leppard. Dylan Kelley, however belongs to me (TK), and that is such an incredible concept, I can't help but drool... A thing for redheads? Me? *whistles innocently*
Warnings: Angst, Language, Lemon, Sap (I think I will begin a new anagram... ALLS)
Archived: Yep! Thanks Lev :)
Duo looked out over the mass of people. The club was crowded, and he usually would have been in his element, but for some reason, it all felt empty. 'Damn,' he thought to himself, 'I have to let Heero go. I have to begin living my own life again.' Smiling at Quatre and Trowa, who were sitting at the table with him, he stood and made his way to the dance floor. There was only one way to do this; he just had to throw himself back into life. As hard as it was, it was his only choice.
Quatre watched his friend with sad eyes. He could feel Duo's conflicting emotions, and it tore at the blonde's heart to see the other boy forcing himself to have a good time. He looked over at Trowa. "I still think this was a bad idea."
Trowa had been watching Duo too. He understood why the violet-eyed boy felt like he needed this distraction, but still... part of him had to agree with Quatre. Duo was trying too hard. "I know, but we have to let him go, Quatre. This is an important step for him. We have to support him in it."
Both of them watched as the pony-tailed boy began moving with the crowd. Duo seemed to blend in so well, moving to the music with expert skill, showing off his body like a well-oiled machine. His tight black mesh shirt showed off just enough skin underneath, and tight black leather pants hugged his hips perfectly. His hair was pulled back securely from his face, giving him a more defined look, his violet eyes shining with the excitement of dancing; it was amazing the other dancers could keep their hands off of him.
Duo was beginning to lose himself in the rhythm. It was an old Earth song, but the beat was driving, and the words were purely sensual. He needed something primal tonight, something that would take away the softer side of him for a while; he needed a change. Duo opened his eyes that had closed momentarily, only to see someone staring at him intently. Duo looked over that someone appreciatively. Long wavy auburn hair down his back, fringed bangs, the guy was positively beautiful. Duo could feel the intensity of his eyes, the color unknown as of yet due to the lack of lighting. The other guy was wearing a shiny emerald button-down shirt and a pair of black leather pants like Duo's. If Duo had to pick one word to describe the vision in front of him, it would have to be 'gorgeous'. In two words: 'gorgeously fuckable'. Duo gave himself a mental shake; he had promised not to take anyone home with him. In spite of that, he smiled invitingly at the sexy guy. He might not be able to sleep with him, but he could at least dance.
//I've got to feel it in my blood. Whoa. I need your touch, don't need your love. Whoa//
Duo couldn't have said it better himself as the guy walked over to him, taking his invitation eagerly. They exchanged sexy smiles and began moving together. Duo saw something so familiar in the stranger's dark green eyes, something that reminded him of himself. Was that restlessness? Or maybe just a need to be fulfilled... a desire for something more than what he was seeing around him. Duo knew that desire all too well. He dismissed his thoughts though, just wanting to forget about everything while he danced.
//And I want, and I need, and I lust, animal. And I want, and I need, and I lust, animal//
The guy was an incredible dancer, complimenting Duo's movements perfectly. Duo let his eyes roam over the lithe but muscled form that gyrated to the beat in complete sync; strong thighs, a toned stomach, a well-defined chest, and a face that someone would cross a street to see more closely made Duo not even hesitate as the redhead pulled him closer, their bodies rubbing against each other suggestively.
//Take me, tie me, make me your animal. Show me, stroke me, let me be your animal//
Their eyes caught and held, an understanding flowing between them in a way Duo had never known before, and suddenly they were both laughing. Duo knew immediately what they both were feeling. Without having to say a word, they headed off the dance floor to an empty table where they could talk. As soon as they were where they could hear, the guy spoke.
"You are a great dancer, and a looker to boot, but it's like I'm trying to seduce myself out there. Although masturbation is a hobby of mine, I don't think I want to find out what it's like to actually..."
"Fuck yourself?" Duo laughed, feeling real mirth for the first time in a long time. When the other boy laughed and nodded, Duo felt more at ease than he had all evening. "Man, I'm glad you feel that way, because I hated to disappoint you. You're sexy as hell." They smiled at each other.
"Dylan Kelley," the redhead said as he extended his hand.
Duo shook it happily. "Duo Maxwell, at your service."
"Since we can't be lovers, I'd at least like to be friends," Dylan offered hopefully, his green eyes filled with an instant affection; it acted like a balm to the other boy's soul.
"I'd like that," Duo replied with a grin. He looked to see Quatre and Trowa dancing, apparently letting him have time alone with what they probably thought was his new conquest. Duo almost laughed again.
For the next two hours Duo and Dylan talked, telling each other about their most recent break-ups, their tragic pasts, and what they wanted to do with their lives. Dylan was an interesting person, and Duo soon found out that they both enjoyed drawing. Dylan worked for a commercial art firm and offered to look over Duo's work to see if they could use him. Duo hadn't worked since he'd sold the scrap yard to Hilde, but the prospect of doing something he loved as a career was tempting. He agreed to have his portfolio, as it was, to Dylan before the end of the next week. Dylan was also into martial arts, which led to Duo talking about the Tai Chi that he and Wufei had been doing. As they continued to find common interests, Duo realized that although he hadn't meant to find a new best friend, he had a feeling he just had.
Heero took a deep breath before he knocked on the door of what used to be his home. He waited patiently, listening for signs of Duo making his way to the door; there were none. He knocked again. Perhaps Duo hadn't heard the first time. When Duo still didn't answer, Heero began to get annoyed.
"Duo, answer the door. I know you're in there. We need to talk."
There still wasn't any answer. 'He's trying to avoid me,' Heero thought to himself sadly, but couldn't blame the other boy.
"Duo, please open the door. I know I've been an idiot. Please. I just want to talk to you."
When Duo still didn't open up, Heero leaned against the door, feeling utterly defeated. 'I have to do this,' he told himself silently. 'I have to make things right.'
"Duo, I know that you will probably never forgive me, but I'm... I'm sorry." Heero's voice caught on the last word as he tried to reign in the emotions that were tearing through his heart. "I know I hurt you. I lied to you, but worse than that, I lied to myself. Duo, I..."
Heero felt his throat close up. He wanted to say the words so badly, but not to a closed door.
"Damn it, Duo! Please! I can't do this without looking at you. Open the fucking door!"
"I will if you'll move so I can get the key into the lock."
Heero whirled around to see Duo standing in the hall a couple feet away. His blue eyes raked over the other boy's body with familiarity; Duo looked good. Heero took in the clothes his former lover was wearing and changed 'good' to 'incredible'. There was a fire burning in those violet eyes that Heero needed more than he needed anything else in the world. How he could have ever thought he didn't want Duo Maxwell? How could he have been so blind to what he'd had?
"I didn't know you weren't home," he replied, feeling stupid and completely inadequate.
Duo closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he sighed heavily. "I went out with Quatre and Trowa tonight."
Heero felt his heart constrict. Images of Duo dancing with nameless bodies flashed through his mind, but he quickly pushed the jealousy away. There was something more important than that. After all, he had left Duo, so what did he expect? Duo was obviously trying to get on with his life; Heero only hoped he wasn't too late. He stepped away from the door so the other boy could open it for them.
Duo fought the shaking that threatened to take over his body. Seeing Heero like this was undoing all of the progress he had made in getting over the dark-haired boy. 'Damn him!' he thought as he forced his hands to obey him and unlock the door. 'I can't take this. I don't want to hurt anymore.'
"Did you have a good time?"
The question stunned Duo, and he looked at Heero, surprise evident on his face. He could see what the comment had cost the other boy. Heero was standing there awkwardly, trying to appear not to care; Duo could see that it wasn't true. His heart leapt at the thought that maybe Heero did still care about him, but Duo quickly dismissed it; he would not entertain false hope. Heero would have to do more than just show up at his door to convince him.
"Yes. I made a new friend who's going to try to get me a job where he works."
Before Heero could say anything, Duo let them in. Heero followed him into the apartment and froze. The changes were dramatic. Everywhere he looked was framed artwork. Pencil, chalk, even some painted canvases were tastefully arranged on the walls; Heero knew Duo had done them without even having to see the signatures. Duo had bought a new sofa that looked a hell of a lot more comfortable than the one Heero had back at his place. There were new floor lamps in place of the old tables and lamps, and cheerful curtains covering the old blinds. Heero was amazed.
Duo watched Heero's expression as those cobalt blue eyes swept over the area. He felt a lot of pride in what he had done to the place since Heero had left. Duo had made it something that belonged to him. He could tell that Heero was seeing a part of him that the Japanese boy had denied was there. It was a reckoning, and Duo felt a sense of peace come over him at the realization that he was happy with what he knew the other boy was seeing; Duo was happy with who he was... with who he had become.
"Take a seat. I'll grab us a couple of sodas then we'll talk."
Heero watched as the other boy walked to the kitchen. The sight of the shoulder-length ponytail was enough to bring him out of shock and remind him why he had come there to begin with. He sat down then laid the bag he was holding beside him on the couch. The couch made him feel welcomed.
"Here ya go," Duo said as he handed him a can.
"Thank you," Heero replied, feeling out of his element again. As Duo sat down in the recliner opposite him, Heero took a deep breath, prepared to take the plunge; Duo interrupted him before he could begin.
"I heard part of what you said outside," the chestnut-haired boy admitted, looking Heero straight in the eye. "What do you want to talk about, Heero?"
Heero swallowed. Everything he'd thought of to say on the way over had deserted him; he had never felt so lost. "I didn't believe you'd cut your hair."
Duo blinked, not expecting that to be the first thing the other boy would say. For some reason though, it made him angry. "You left me, Heero. Did you think I'd throw a party instead?"
The sarcasm in Duo's voice was not lost on Heero. He shifted uncomfortably. "No."
The one-word answer was so reminiscent of the past; Duo tried to remain calm, but weeks of hurt washed over him. "Then what? Did you think I lied to you when I made that promise?"
"You never lie," Heero replied evenly, looking directly into a violet storm, "but sometimes emotions make you say things you don't really mean, make you think you feel one way when in actuality you feel completely different."
"Did you think I lied to you when I told you that I loved you? Did you think I lied to you every time I made love to you? Tell me, Heero. What did I have to do to prove it!" Duo was livid. It was one thing for Heero to not love him, but for the other boy to think Duo had lied about his feelings was unacceptable.
"I don't know!" Heero shouted as he stood up. "I couldn't understand how you could love me that much. I never understood how you could accept my faults when I couldn't accept them myself. I didn't understand the kind of love you were offering me, Duo!"
Duo stood up too, pure rage blazing in his violet eyes. "Why the fuck didn't you say something? We could have talked about it without you walking out. Why did you act like you believed me all this time and then just leave me? Why, Heero? It was the most cowardly thing I've ever seen you do!"
Heero flinched like Duo had hit him. The sad part was that what Duo said was true. "I was afraid to love you because I thought you would eventually leave me. How can you love me when I can't love myself? I couldn't let myself feel that way about you if I was going to lose you."
"So you hurt me so I wouldn't hurt you?" Duo asked incredulously. "How could do that to me? I was the one who held you through the hell of your nightmares, understood you when no else could, and loved you with everything I was. How could you just walk away? You took a part of me with you, you bastard!"
Heero felt the fight go out of him. He slumped back onto the couch. "I told myself I was doing both of us a favor," he replied sadly. "I told myself that this was what was best for you, that you would find someone who deserved the love you wanted to give. I told myself that I didn't deserve you."
Duo's anger dissolved at the sight before him; Heero Yuy looked defeated for the first time Duo had known him. He moved to sit down on the couch beside Heero. "Do you still believe you don't deserve me?"
Heero nodded. "Yes."
Duo shook his head, trying to not let the anger take him over again. "So why are you here?" He still didn't understand why Heero would come all the way over there just to tell him that he couldn't be with him. Duo felt his heart begin to hurt all over again, and just wanted it to end, one way or the other.
Heero looked into violet eyes that he had dreamed about ever since he'd walked out the door. "Because even if I don't deserve it, I need you. I want to be with you. I..." Heero took a deep breath, afraid yet needing to say the words, "I love you, Duo Maxwell."
Duo just stared at him. Heero had just said he... Duo couldn't speak, couldn't move; he couldn't even think. Heero... loved... him. Heero had never said those words to him, ever; the former soldier had never been able to say them. Duo felt the hurt dissipate as he saw the truth of those words in cobalt blue eyes that were begging him to believe them.
Heero took Duo's silence as disbelief. It twisted like a knife in his heart, but he wouldn't give up so easily. He stood before Duo could collect himself enough to say something. "I didn't believe you either, but I know what finally convinced me how you felt," the dark-haired boy explained as he picked up the bag beside him and walked over to the window. He turned to look at Duo as he removed his laptop. His eyes held Duo's for a moment before he leaned out and threw his beloved possession, down seven stories, to its imminent demise. He turned back around to see the startled expression on the chestnut-haired boy's face as they heard the resounding 'crash' from the street below.
"You are the most important thing in my life, Duo. Nothing else matters unless I can be with you. If I can't love you for the rest of my life, then I don't want to love anything or anyone else. Even though I don't deserve your love, I need it more than the air I breathe, more than the life's blood flowing through my veins. Before you, I never lived; without you, I'm already dead." He closed his eyes, trying to find the strength to admit the truth finally. "I was the one living in the past, trapped in the darkness of my own soul. I can't live in that darkness alone anymore." He opened his blue eyes to stare into violet. "I need the beautiful light of your soul to help me embrace those parts of me that I never thought I could live with, that I can't live with, without you." He sighed heavily. "I love you, Duo. Please... forgive me?"
Duo was stunned. His mind kept screaming at him that Heero Yuy just threw his laptop out the window. He couldn't process that. It was like some surreal dream. The words coming out of Heero's mouth just floored him even more. He knew he had to say something, but the words just wouldn't come out of his mouth. He saw the fear flash in Heero's eyes, the fear of rejection. Duo felt his own heart cry out, telling him that if he didn't do something, he would be guilty of hurting Heero the way Heero had him. He got up from the couch and walked over to where Heero stood waiting for his acceptance. Without a sound, Duo pulled the dark-haired boy into a fierce embrace.
They stood there for what could have been seconds, minutes, hours; neither could tell. Finally, Duo regained his power of speech and pulled away slightly to smile softly at the love of his life.
"Heero no baka, I forgave you the moment you left. Even though my head told me to let you go, my heart wouldn't let me. It knew that though you said you couldn't love Death, the truth of your feelings would somehow find you. Love don't lie, Heero, even when we do, even when it's to ourselves. I love you because of who you are, not in spite of it. I love all of you, Heero. And I always will."
Heero caressed Duo's cheek as silent tears rolled down his face. "Aishiteru, Duo. I love you, and I will love you forever."
Duo smiled, his own unshed tears blurring his vision slightly. "Then show me, Heero. Make love to me."
Heero took Duo's hand in his and led them to the bedroom. They stood by the bed, looking at each other for a few moments, trying to believe that they were really there together again. Then Heero closed the distance between them, and it was like they were kissing for the first time. Heero's lips moved over Duo's slowly, lovingly. He reached behind Duo and pulled the ponytail free, releasing his hair. Duo moaned, deepening the kiss, causing Heero to groan as Duo slipped his tongue into Heero's mouth. Their tongues met and stroked in a sensual hunger. Hands tugged at each other's clothing, removing each article slowly as each savored the feel of the other's skin. Once naked, blue gazed into violet, and they slid onto the bed, Heero covering Duo as their mouths met again.
They moved against each other, skin touching skin, breath mingling, hands caressing. Heero prepared Duo, relishing the cries of passion from the other boy as his fingers moved in and out of his body. Sweat covered both of them as Heero lay down and Duo moved to straddle him. Heero just looked at him for a moment, taking the sight of the other boy in; Duo's hair was caressing his shoulders, his eyes were full of desire, his body flushed with excitement. Heero couldn't take his eyes off of him.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, his fingers tracing Duo's jaw.
Duo gazed into those amazing blue eyes as he moved to where Heero's erection was brushing against his entrance. "The only beauty I have is your love inside me, Heero. Let me give it back to you. Take me, Heero. Make me yours again."
Heero claimed Duo's lips in a soul searing kiss as he entered Duo's body... and found his home. They began moving together, Duo raising himself then lowering back down into Heero's thrusts. Heero's hands gripped Duo's hips, helping his lover as they established a slow sensual rhythm. Duo felt incredible. His body caressed Heero's length as Heero slid in and out of him. Heero angled every thrust so he could touch that place inside Duo that made him scream in pleasure.
Duo couldn't believe how complete he felt. Even before Heero had left, their lovemaking had never been like this. He looked at his dark-haired lover in awe. Heero's face was softened by the pleasure of their coupling, emotion shining in his eyes as their gazes locked. At that moment, Duo knew he'd found what he'd needed. They had embraced their own darkness and found the light of love in each other.
Although they took their time, it was inevitable that they reached the point of no return. Heero reached between them and began stroking Duo in time with their thrusts. It wasn't long before Duo was yelling his completion, his voice the most beautiful thing Heero had ever heard.
"Heero! Heero! Love you!" Duo felt the waves of blissful orgasm wash over him, drowning the past in a final crescendo as his seed pumped out all over Heero's hand and chest. He felt Heero tense, and then the other boy was joining him as he shouted his release.
"Duo! My Duo!" Heero thrust into Duo's body one last time as he emptied his passion inside his lover, the overwhelming sense of completeness enveloping him as Duo collapsed on him; he didn't want to leave that loving warmth. He felt Duo squeeze his length still inside him, telling him Duo felt the same way.
They remained like that until Heero regretfully eased out of him. As they lay down on the bed beside each other, Duo snuggled against Heero's side contentedly. Heero pulled him as close as he could, wanting the feeling of intimacy as much as Duo did. Before, he had always just tolerated Duo's need to cuddle. Heero smiled; he had a feeling he would be the one needing the cuddling more than Duo from now on.
"What are you thinking about?" Duo asked, his voice raspy from his passion.
"About how I'm probably going to be a cuddler now," Heero replied truthfully.
Duo chuckled and pulled away so he could look at him. "You serious?"
Heero smiled shyly. "Yes. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I hope you'll remind me if I ever..."
Duo rolled over on top of Heero, a look of fear in his eyes. "You ever try to leave me again, Yuy, and so helo me, 'Omae o korosu'. I will not let you go again no matter..." Heero's fingers stopped his words.
"That's not what I was going to say, Duo. I meant if I ever complain about it again."
"Oh," Duo said as he gave Heero a sheepish look. "Sorry. Guess you're not the only one who needs to work on trust huh?" When Heero nodded in agreement, a mischievous grin lit up Duo's face. "Of course, when I said I'd kill you, I meant in a more, should we say 'creative' way."
Heero chuckled lightly as his chestnut-haired lover took his lips in a demanding kiss. He felt himself stirring already, and the proof of Duo's answering need rubbed against his thigh eagerly. Heero's last coherent thought was that he was beginning to enjoy loving Death; an hour later, he was certain of it. Death had never been so inviting.
Wufei walked through the cafe door. Although alone this morning, his heart was lighter than it had been in weeks. Duo had called him that morning to tell him he would be missing their lesson. At first, Wufei had been concerned, but upon seeing Heero Yuy with a contented smile on his face wrap his arms around the other boy from behind, Wufei had decided Duo definitely needed to stay home. The joy in Duo's eyes had warmed the Chinese boy's heart. Wufei gave Lisa a bright smile as he neared the counter.
"Good morning, Lisa-chan. And how are you today?"
Lisa giggled. "Very well, Wufei-kun. And you? You seem awfully cheery this morning."
Wufei sighed. "I am."
The cafe door opened, admitting another customer. Lisa beamed. "Dylan! You're here early. The usual?"
Wufei glanced casually at the other boy who walked up to lean against the counter beside him.
"Make it a double," the redhead replied, winking at the girl who shook her head at him in amusement.
Wufei nodded at the boy who returned his gesture with a polite smile.
"So, Wufei, why isn't Duo here with you this morning?" Lisa asked curiously.
"Heero finally came to his senses last night. He and Duo are 'sleeping in' this morning," Wufei said with a smirk; Maxwell's perverse sense of humor was beginning to rub off on him, but the Chinese boy couldn't find the desire to complain.
"Oh, Wufei! That is so great!" Lisa almost squealed as she turned around to give him a huge smile. "I am so glad they got back together."
"Me too," Wufei said truthfully. "I won't have to worry about Duo anymore. I think they have both finally found balance. About damn time too, they were killing me!"
"You wouldn't happen to be talking about Duo Maxwell, would you?"
Wufei turned to look at the boy beside him in surprise. "Yes, I am. How do you know Duo?"
A broad smile answered him. "We met at a club last night. Nice guy. Heero must have shown up after Duo got home." The boy nodded thoughtfully. "I won't expect a call from him until later this week then."
Wufei narrowed his eyes. "Heero and Duo are together. I seriously doubt that Duo will be calling you."
Green eyes widened. "Oh... no, you got it all wrong, man! No, Duo and I are just friends. I'm supposed to be looking at his artwork this week to see if I can get him a position with my art team where I work. I was going to call him today, but since Heero is there, I'll wait for him to call me."
Wufei relaxed a little. "Sorry. I didn't mean to jump to conclusions. I guess I'm a little protective of Duo. He went through a lot when Heero left, and I don't want to see anything like that happen again."
"So'kay, Fei," the redhead replied, amusement in this voice. "Duo told me all about you. It's nice to know he has such good friends. Quatre and Trowa were a little hesitant last night too until Duo explained to them that I wasn't trying to seduce him." The redhead chuckled lightly at that.
The pet name Duo had given Wufei sounded unbelievably natural coming from the other boy in front of him. "Maybe we should introduce ourselves since you seem to know so much about me already. I'm Chang Wufei, or as you Americans would say, Wufei Chang." He held out his hand.
"Dylan Kelley," the redhead replied as he shook it, that amused smile still in place.
"Here you two go," Lisa said as she placed their orders on the counter, grinning from ear to ear. "Two Turkish coffees."
Shock was evident on both boys' faces. It was rare for either of them to see anyone else indulge in their choice of caffeine. Wufei turned to look into sparkling green eyes and suddenly felt a tugging inside. Without a moment's hesitation, he placed the money for both coffees in Lisa's hand. "I've got it this time," he said evenly, not even realizing he had implied there would be another.
Dylan looked into dark kohl and grinned. "Thanks, Fei. I think this may be the start of a beautiful friendship, so long as you don't try to limit MY caffeine intake."
Wufei handed him his cup, smiling at the reference to his interference with Duo's bad habits. "I'll try to remember that, Kelley." Then with a look Duo would have be proud of, he added jauntily, "And don't call me 'Fei'." The answering laughter told Wufei that the redhead already knew. Wufei decided he liked the sound of that laugh and could get used to hearing it all the time.
The exchange brought a smile to Lisa's lips as she watched them sit down at a table nearby. She had a feeling that she would be seeing all of the boys on a regular basis again. If there was one major benefit of working in this particular cafe, it was getting to see sexy bishonen almost everyday. She sighed dreamily, "Pretty boys to look at, and plenty of caffeine in between. What more could a girl want?"
She laughed as she realized a camera in Duo and Heero's bedroom answered that question completely. Sipping on a double mocha delight, she began perusing the electronics store ads, giggling to herself.
The End
(:./tk/embracing6)
