May 2, 2001
Title: Crossed Wires
Author: AstroKender
Pairings: faint 2+3, 3+2
Rating: Alternate Timeline
Warnings: foul language.
Spoilers: Hmm...nope.
Notes: This is a small fic I've wanted to put out to reflect how much Duo and Trowa seem to clash during the series. Important! This doesn't go along with the series. There may be some similarities, but don't try to pin it to a specific time or you'll get a headache. This is purely a 'what if' kind of thing.
Disclaimers: I own nothing...Don't sue.
Trowa crept stealthily down the corridor, a nervous Jeremy following close behind. They were in the base's lowest levels, taking the memorized route to where Epyon was built and hopefully still being held. There they would find Duo.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Jeremy? You could always go back above and claim ignorance."
The black haired man shook his head. "I honestly want to help. OZ isn't what it used to be." His dark eyes glanced at Trowa's shadowy figure. "And besides, I want to see for myself this new Gundam."
The Latin boy nodded solemnly as they rounded a corner. A smaller hallway receded back about fifty yards and then suddenly stopped in front of a small steel door. The two snuck over to it carefully, holding their breaths as they listened for any noise on the other side.
Trowa pressed the release switch and frowned when the door failed to open. He looked over a Jeremy. "Locked."
The young man nodded and produced a thin key card, obviously homemade. But as unprofessional as it may have looked, it got the job done. One swipe and the heavy steel door slid open.
"I'm going to go back towards the main corridor and make sure there's no guards lurking around." Jeremy whispered, soon disappearing around the corner.
Trowa nodded in approval, patting the two-way radio at his side reassuringly, and began to step through the doorway.
"Ack! STOP!" A familiar voice cried. "Shit! Please don't move! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!"
Trowa peered around the door in confusion. "Duo?"
"No, it's the fucking Easter bunny!" Duo shouted. Trowa eyed him warily. Maybe he had been hit in the head. "That bastard Trant is abso-freakin-lutly nuts! Get me out of here!"
"Well, that was what I was trying to do...." Trowa took another step into the doorway.
"STOP!"
The green-eyed pilot looked at Duo in exasperation. "What?"
"There is a laser beam running across the doorway, set to trigger this beam saber I'm strapped to. If you hit it I'm vaporized."
"Huh?" Trowa looked down. Sure enough a small red line flickered across the entryway.
"What, you think I was hanging here for looks? Now step over that thing-CAREFULLY-and get me off this giant cigarette lighter."
Trowa did as he was told and then hurriedly rushed to Duo's side. Halfway there, though, he paused. Looming over him was something from a nightmare. The Latin boy's fists clenched reflexively as he stared up at the crimson colored metal demon.
"Is-is this...?
Duo hung his head against his upraised arms. "Yes. That's Epyon."
"How could something like this have been created right under our noses?" Trowa whispered.
"We kinda had other problems, like staying alive."
The lanky boy just shook his head and made his way over to where Duo was chained. The longhaired boy looked down at him in relief and jangled his shackles impatiently. Trowa smirked up at him.
"So, I'm guessing by all the noise you've been making that you're fine."
Duo rolled his eyes. "If you call being strapped to a beam saber by a lunatic Lieutenant who probably tortures small animals for fun fine, sure, I'm just peachy." He looked up to where Trowa was pushing a small wire in the cuffs of his manacles.
"No key? Great. I feel like I'm in a James Bond movie, although this is too cheesy. I must be re-living Get Smart."
"What are you talking about?" Trowa muttered around the wires he held in his mouth.
"It was a really old TV show. The main character, Maxwell Smart, did the voice for Inspector Gadget and-oh, never mind!"
"Maxwell Smart?"
"Yeah."
"Those two words don't go together."
Duo looked at the Latin boy's smirking face and glared. "Oh, shut up!"
Just then Trowa's radio beeped. "Trowa!" Jeremy hissed. "Trant is coming! Get 02 and get out of there!"
"Shit! I can't get these cuffs off!" Trowa gave up picking the lock and began tugging on the chains frantically. Duo kneed him away.
"Who do you think you are, Heero? Look, just give me one of those wires and hide. Trant probably won't stay here long. I'll pick the lock then we can both get out of here." Footsteps resounded through the hall and Duo glared. "Hurry!"
Trowa quickly slipped a thin wire in Duo's hand and cast about for someplace to hide. Epyon's hatch sat open invitingly but the Latin boy shuddered at the thought of even touching such a sinister weapon. Growling as he heard someone pause outside of the door Trowa ducked into the only place he could think of to hide.
"Are you crazy?" Duo whispered harshly as Trowa slipped into the depths of the beam saber's casing. Trowa just shushed him as the door slid open, a dour looking Trant on the other side.
"So, Gundam pilot, have you considered my offer?" the man asked, not moving into the room.
"Go to hell, you herpes chewing, Tijuana crack whore!"
Trant's expression darkened. "Ah, ah, ah...." His foot hovered over the laser beam threateningly. The OZ officer smirked as the longhaired pilot blanched. "Now, let's try being a little nicer, shall we? I wouldn't want that smooth skin of yours to accidentally get a little...crispy."
"Why don't you come over here and say that?" Duo grinned. "Or are you afraid of a little helpless Gundam pilot that has killed more men than you could ever meet? You clock's ticking; Shinigami's gonna getcha."
"Spare me your theatrics." But for some reason, Trant was scanning the room intently. Panicking. Duo knew he had to do something before they were discovered. His mind quickly supplied him with an old chant, used to scare earth children.
"One, two; Shini's coming after you."
Trant glared at him.
"Three, four; you better lock your door."
"Shut up."
"Five, six; get your crucifix."
"Damn you!" Trant sputtered, loosing his concentration. Stepping over the beam, he strode towards Duo threateningly.
"Seven, eight; you're gonna meet your fate.... Nine, ten; death comes for all men."
Furious at Duo's mocking voice, Trant raised his fist to strike him.
The blow never landed.
Trant stared in astonishment as a hand caught his fist; that hand attached to one Lieutenant Barton, who seemed to appear out of thin air. The Latin boy stared at him calmly, but his green eyes seemed to burn like lava. Trowa's fist flew towards Trant, connecting with his nose at a bone-snapping velocity. The OZ officer crumpled to the floor in a heap.
"That's what you deserve, you plague infested, sewer rat from hell." Duo spit on the body.
"Enough insults." Trowa insisted. "Get yourself out of those cuffs while I hide this in case anyone comes."
Duo's hands twitched as he worked. "Already halfway there." He looked to where the Latin boy was dragging Trant's body behind Epyon. "Is he dead?"
"No. But after what I have planned, he will be." "Heehee, I love it when you're sadistic." Duo quickly freed one wrist and set to work on the other. Trowa looked over at him and smirked.
The lanky boy was already heading back over to Duo when Jeremy barged through the door, unknowingly stepping through the laser. Duo was still standing in front of the beam saber, massaging his aching wrists. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Trowa moved on instinct.
"DUO!"
"Wha-OOMPH!"
The two boys landed in a heap, skidding to a halt a few feet away from the deadly beam saber. Trowa covered Duo's body desperately, bracing for the blast of heat and pain that was to come.
"Umm...Lieutenant Barton?" Jeremy asked weakly after a moment of silence.
Trowa's head shot up. There stood Jeremy, right in the middle of the laser beam that was supposed to trigger Epyon's beam saber and...nothing. Underneath him, Duo began laughing hysterically.
"Man, that Trant is a dumbass! He probably couldn't screw in a fucking light bulb without a manual!"
Trowa glared at Duo's giggling form as he blushed hotly. Transferring his glare over to Jeremy, he barked. "Get out of the doorway, Private, before we blow our cover any further!"
Jeremy hurriedly obeyed, trying hard to control his snickering as the Latin boy fought his way out of the tangle of Duo's arms, legs, and braid. Trowa left the American writhing on the ground as he stalked over to the beam saber, glaring at it.
"No wonder it didn't work. This saber is a back up weapon. The real beam saber is much more advanced and still attached to Epyon's side." He pointed. "This one probably doesn't even have the battery cell in it yet."
Duo finally rose to the floor and strolled over. "Well, shit." He shook his head. Looking over at a wide-eyed Jeremy, he grinned darkly. "How are you liking your first glimpse of the devil?"
"We've met before Mr. Maxwell..." The dark haired soldier began. Duo laughed.
"Not me, PJ. That. Epyon. Home of the ZERO System. Future destroyer of millions of innocent lives. Satan wrapped up in a pretty crimson package."
"Oh..." Jeremy looked again over at the dark Gundam and shuddered. "It's horrible." Staring at it, his mouth tightened into a firm line. "We can't allow it to leave this base."
"My thoughts exactly." Trowa nodded, grabbing two semi automatic rifles from a storage cabinet in the corner. He threw one to Duo.
"Epyon must be destroyed." The Latin boy met Jeremy's chocolate colored eyes. "And we need you to do it."
End Part Eight
(:./astrokender/crossed8)
