19-May-2003
Title: Tears on My Heart 3/?
Rating: R
Warnings: Het, cursing, lime
Pairings: 1xH
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Though she hadn't intended to do it quite so early, Hilde began preparations for dinner. With just her and Seth eating, it might have been something easily thrown together like Macaroni & Cheese from a box, followed with a few steamed vegetables for vitamins. Maybe a chocolate cookie or two for dessert. But as much as she resented Heero's presence here, the thought of serving him Mac & Cheese from a box embarrassed her.
"Great," she grumbled, staring into the freezer. She hadn't done her grocery shopping yet. She hadn't been expecting guests, obviously. Feeding a child was quite different from feeding an adult, and certain food habits had to be changed as a result. Although... Feeding Duo wasn't all that different from feeding Seth. She somehow doubted Heero liked the same 'junk', however.
Grimacing, she worked her way through bags of frozen French fries, chicken nuggets, the occasional TV dinner, until she finally found something appropriate. "Porkchops! I can bake them..."
There was pork stuffing in the cupboard and fresh vegetables she could boil. It was a hastily thrown together dinner, but it would work. It was going to have to. She wasn't doing this to impress Heero. She just wasn't in the habit of feeding guests meals only kids could consider five star cuisine.
After tonight, it was her hope that he simply went away. Duo was obviously not here, and it had to be just as obvious that she had no intentions of telling him why. It wasn't any of his concern. If he wanted Duo so badly, he could just track him down on his own. But it scared her to think of the knowledge he carried and the fact that he could do with it what he wanted.
There was little she could do but threaten him. It made her helpless, and there was nothing more she hated than being helpless.
Sighing, she shoved the frozen porkchops into the microwave to defrost. She was going to have to tell Heero. If she didn't, and he found Duo...
"Dammit." Unreasonably angry, she slammed the vegetables onto the counter and reached for a knife.
Their little family couldn't last. Hilde had always known that. But Duo had left of his own free will and it wasn't in her to follow and beg. She had been a soldier, survived a war, and lived on her own for a long time without a family. Looking at her son, she could say with pride that she had raised him to be a healthy, well-adjusted boy. She didn't want that interrupted regardless if it was selfish fear on her part, or simply fear for him.
Gripping the knife tightly, she stared down at the carrots she had chopped. They wavered out of focus, becoming orange blurs unseparable from one another. She didn't even like carrots that much. She only ate them so that Seth would eat them.
Laughing suddenly, harshly, a sob caught and tangled in her throat. What was Duo going to do? Come back and take his son away? She wouldn't let him. Blinking back tears, her resolve set, she continued chopping vegetables. Duo couldn't have Seth. He was her son, and the life she had made for him was stable and safe. Duo was never very good at staying in one place for very long. It was part of the reason why she hadn't told him.
Dinner was never a silent affair in their household.
Seth talked enough for the both of them, and often held one-sided conversations between each bite. So long as he was certain he had Hilde's attention, he didn't mind the lack of replies. But tonight, he had a larger audience and was therefore holding a larger court. He made the most of it, regaling Heero with his tales of Sprinkler exploits and the various bugs he had collected during the course of the day. For his part, Heero was either remarkably patient, or he was simply good at ignoring the chatter.
As much as she wanted to pick at him, she doubted the latter. His comments when prompted told her otherwise. Whatever Heero was doing these days, he certainly had a way of holding her son's attention that few others could. Even the mechanics in the shop could only handle him for a couple of hours at a stretch. He was simply too wiry, moving from object to object with a speed and interest they couldn't match. Yet with his quiet, steady manner, Heero kept Seth in place.
She almost envied and resented him for coming into her home and snatching any piece of her son away from her. It was silly and selfish, but human emotion didn't always leave room for logic.
"... and it was green, like the leaves. Willy said that was so it could hide."
"Seth, eat," Hilde interrupted the conversation, pointing to his half-full plate.
Sighing, the five year old picked up his fork and dutifully jabbed it at the contents of his plate. But not before peeking out from under his bangs to see what Heero was eating.
"So," Hilde said at length, "what are you doing at the moment, Heero?"
Even to her own ears it sounded lame, but Heero's silence was wearing on her nerves and it seemed marginally rude not to even inquire after how he was doing. She could at least be civil while he was here. He was actually being very kind to her son and very agreeable where Duo was concerned.
He gave his attention to her. "Traveling. Odd jobs when I need to."
"Ah." She nodded. Had he been anyone else, she might have offered him a job here. They were short a few hands and could always use another mechanic. But she wanted him as far away from Seth as he could possibly get. His influence on her son, she could already tell, would be too strong if he stayed. This wasn't a time of war. There was no room for soldiers, and she didn't want Seth having any connections to that part of her past. Or his father's.
Nearly choking on his milk as he swallowed, Seth rushed to say as he set his glass down, "Mr. Heero, can you stay and tuck me in?"
Hilde had been raising her own glass to her lips. At her son's request, it slipped from nerveless fingers and would have hit the floor had Heero not reached out to catch it. Calmly, he set it aside and finished the last of the food on his plate.
"Seth," she began, her tone abnormally even, "Heero probably has somewhere he needs to be."
"But-"
At her warning glance, he dropped his fork in his plate and his face went vaguely pink as he tried to fight back tears. He'd been overly active today and she knew he was tired. Hilde didn't spoil him, but neither did she deny him all that much. Seth was an unusually well-behaved child, save for his excess energy, and it was difficult to say no to him.
Sighing slightly, she asked, "What about your bath?"
"I could take one in the morning?" He queried hopefully, eyes overly bright with moisture.
She didn't want Heero tucking her son in. That was their nightly ritual. She would read him a story, tuck him in, kiss him, turn out the light... and thank whatever higher power had given them peace for this long. But Heero would only be here for a short while. She supposed it couldn't hurt that much.
"You'll have to ask Heero."
Seth's smile, as always, made her feel as if she'd given him the best gift possible.
"Can you, Mr. Heero?"
Meeting Seth's hopeful gaze, he nodded. A part of her had wanted him to say no, but the larger part hadn't. She would rather endure his presence here than ever hurt her son.
Clapping his hands, the child quickly wiped his eyes. "See mama? I'll even eat all my carrots!"
As Seth finished his dinner, Heero rose and took his dishes to the sink, rinsing them. Hilde came up beside him, doing the same, thinking that at least he had manners. It did nothing to quell her tension, however. She felt as if her body was being held up by strings.
Before either of them could move, Seth inserted himself between them, smiled up at each of them, and dropped his own dishes in the sink. "Can you rinse them for me, mama? I can't reach."
"Sure, sweetie. Go on upstairs and get ready for bed. We'll be up in a few moments."
Nodding, he turned and ran from the room.
"Don't run in the house," Hilde called half-heartedly.
Heero half-turned. She didn't want to hear anything from him.
Gripping the edges of the sink, she murmured, "Don't say anything. Let's just go upstairs."
End Part 3
(:./jen/tears3)
