11-Jan-2001
Title: Time and Time Again
A Gundam Wing Fanfiction
Author: BarBieBoy
Dedicated to Kav
Feedback: YES PLEASE! :o) (Don't be shy!) Comments, criticisms, ideas etc please mail me at barbieboy000@hotmail.com. Flames and abuse please mail me at techsupport@microsoft.com.
Disclaimer: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing is the property of whomever. I don't own it and I am using these characters without permission (but not for profit). The original portion of this work is mine however so please don't steal it :o)
Category/Warnings/Rating: 1+2/2+1, 3+4, angst, language, R(?)
Final note: I am in Australia. I speak and write English. I know how to spell colour and grey and behaviour. :o)
Despite the Japanese boy's pleas, the doctors had administered numerous sedatives and painkillers. Even the boy's naturally high resistance to drugs was unable to keep him conscious. He had fallen asleep, and did not awake for quite some time.
It was 4 am when Heero finally regained consciousness. His entire body ached and his head was spinning. However, he knew that none of that would matter in about half an hour. Hopefully Duo had had the sense to get away from the bomb, and very soon the loop would begin again.
4:10 am
Heero began to plan tomorrow's activities. He would not make the mistake of trusting Dr. Nishikubo, although the man would also know this. He would have to somehow surprise him and get him to undo the bomb's effects.
4:15 am
The wait was driving him insane. What if Duo hadn't gotten away? He had not heard an explosion, but he had been unconscious. Heero did not know what he would do if the bomb could not be disarmed. There was no way he would be prepared to lose Duo. Never again.
4:20 am
This was it. He would awake immediately, fresh and ready, in his bed in his dorm room. He would run to the alley as soon as possible. If he was quick enough, he would catch Dr. Nishikubo planting the bomb in the dumpster.
4:27 am
Now. Heero closed his eyes and waited. The seconds seemed to drag on for ages. He was waiting for the strange sensation and the dizziness, but it did not come. He risked a glance at the watch.
4:29 am
For a moment he was too stunned to react. It was past 4:27 am and he was still in hospital with three gunshot wounds. He began to wonder if the clock was slow, but by 4:45 am he was prepared to accept that the loop had stopped. It would soon be morning on the 26th of January and it would be Sunday.
He would have cried out in joy if he had been able; instead, he began to chuckle a little. Somehow, Duo had managed to disarm the bomb. Somehow, the loop had been stopped. Today would be the first day of the rest of his life.
Then he groaned with pain. Of all the days for things to go back to normal, they had to choose the day he was most hurt?
Several days later, Heero was back in his dorm room, lying on his bed, typing away at his laptop. His injuries had healed at a startling rate, and it was only 48 hours after he had been admitted to hospital that he had managed to 'disappear.' The other pilots had come to his rescue, sneaking him into a stolen ambulance and driving him back to campus. It was only a simple matter to hack into the hospital's records and delete any evidence of the boy's presence. Although a few of the staff raised the issue, a police investigation revealed nothing.
Heero's remarkable physiology had helped him to make a fairly quick recovery. He was now able to move about and walk with the aid of crutches. He was still confined to bed for most of the time, however, and as such unable to attend classes. The excuse given was that he had an accident on a skiing vacation over the weekend, although if anyone had seen him, they would doubt that story.
Heero had been given permission to take time off to recover, but the boy did not want to be away from the other pilots. He had changed over that week, even if it was only a day for the rest of the world. He was now fully aware of what his friends meant to him. He made an effort to be nicer to all of them, and found that he was enjoying their company. Except for Wufei, who was a little annoyed that he hadn't sent the money for the L5 mission. Heero had uncharacteristically laughed himself silly when he had heard. He had transferred that money on six occasions but had managed to forget on the seventh day.
The Temporal Feedback Explosive Device was sent off to the lab for analysis. None of the pilots heard much after that except that it had been classed as top secret and was not to be discussed with anybody. Dr. Nishikubo was yet to be tracked down, and there was little chance that he would be.
Heero had written up a complete report on the ordeal for the third time. He had included almost everything relevant to the mission, but had kept personal things out. The other pilots read the report with various degrees of disbelief and surprise. They were all quite surprised to learn that they had died at one time during the ordeal. Especially Trowa, who was a little peeved to learn that he had died twice. They joked about it at first, but after seeing the reaction in Heero they decided to drop the subject entirely.
Trowa and Quatre were still not a couple. Heero found it almost infuriating, the way they kept getting so close and then backing off. He knew that they could be happy with each other; after all, he had seen it with his own eyes. But he decided that he should not be pushing anything. They would work it out somehow, and it was not up to him to decide when and how.
Duo.
Duo was another story. Heero had wanted to tell Duo everything. However, he had been too weak at first, and now the other boy was on a mission. He would be back later this afternoon, and Heero had spent the time preparing in his mind what he would say. The lessons of that week were not going to go to waste.
Duo entered the room and shut the door behind him quietly. He was a little annoyed to hear Heero call out his name. He had hoped that the other boy would be asleep. He was not in the mood for a long and meaningful conversation, although he knew that they had to have one.
"I thought you were due back much earlier, Duo?" the Japanese boy asked. It was a plain and simple question; there was not a trace of irritation in his voice.
"Yeah, well, you know how it is. Got a little held up!"
Duo began to put his stuff into the cupboards and take off his jacket and shoes. He could feel the other boy's eyes on him, and it made him uncomfortable. Heero had been acting strange ever since that day, although based on the stuff in his report, Duo could guess why.
"Did you get a chance to read my report?"
"Most of it. Yeah. Sounded pretty bizarre."
There was another pause as Duo began to fumble with something. Officially the two were still not talking, since in Duo's eyes, at least, nothing had been resolved. He knew that the Japanese boy was not well, and he didn't want to push anything, but he didn't want the whole thing to just blow over either. Things had been said that couldn't just be forgotten. Before they could go back to being friends, the L2 incident had to be addressed.
"Heero," Duo began hesitantly, "I know a lot has happened, but I think we still need to talk about that L2 . . . "
Duo was interrupted by a hearty laugh from Heero. The braided boy was bemused to see him laugh that way. It was casual and relaxed and full of warmth. It made him feel a little more comfortable.
Heero indicated that he should sit on the chair next to his bed.
"Duo. I've had this reconciliation conversation more times than I care to count," he said, flashing an uncharacteristic smile. "We have spoken about the situation and how it affected us and we made up already. Several times. Sometimes quicker than others."
Duo was intrigued by the thought. He felt as though he were at a disadvantage. Although he was enjoying the other boy's company, it was hard to get used to this change in personality. He decided since the mood was light, and since Heero was making jokes, then he could afford to play a little.
"So. Who apologized to who?" he asked with a sly smile.
"Guess."
"Hmmm. You apologized to me?" he asked, doing his best to act innocent. He knew it was more than likely that it had been he who had started the conversation. After all, Heero never started conversations. At least, not the old Heero.
"Most of the time it was the other way around," Heero said, smiling. "One time, though, I beat you to it"
"Really? What did you say?"
"Oh, I'm sure you're not interested," Heero said, lying back into his bed and placing his hands behind his head. He knew that would annoy the other boy.
"Yes I am!" Duo pouted, moving to sit on the bed next to his comrade. He was careful to avoid the bandaged leg and arm, though.
Heero's smile faded a bit as he looked deep into Duo's eyes. He didn't understand how he could have missed their beauty for so long. He toyed with the idea of joking, but decided that he would give a go at the truth.
"I said I was sorry for being an idiot. I told you that it was because I was having trouble understanding our friendship. I said that I was wrong to try to self-destruct on L2 and that it was all my fault."
Duo's smile also faded as this was said. He suddenly felt guilty for making Heero apologize. It must have been a great effort for him to swallow his pride and admit fault.
"Heero . . ." he faltered. "I'm sorry too, you know, especially for calling you a coward."
"Ah . . . but I was a coward," Heero said with a small sad smile.
Duo began to protest, but Heero silenced him by swiftly placing his finger over the other boy's mouth. He was surprised at the reaction he felt over the simple little piece of physical contact. Duo had reacted strangely, too, going very quiet. Heero stared deep into his eyes and continued.
"I was seeking death because I was afraid to live. I followed orders to the letter because it absolved me of responsibility. I missed out on life because I was a coward."
Duo broke eye contact and began to stare at his hands in his lap. This conversation was unlike anything he had been imagining. Heero was open, honest and warm. The intimacy was quite unsettling, although in a good way.
"Was?" he said at last. "Do you think you've changed?"
"I think so."
"How have you changed?"
"I know what matters now. I feel content for the first time in my life. I am happy living."
Duo glanced back at Heero with a bright smile. He was glad to hear those words from Heero. There was still a war, and it was still more likely than not that they would both die before the year was out, but it was nice to hear that Heero wasn't looking forward to it.
The Japanese boy was still looking at him intensely, and Duo was horrified to feel himself beginning to blush. Was it possible that he was becoming attracted to Heero? The unsettling thought forced him to break eye contact again. Duo began to glance about the room and tried to change the subject.
"So. What else did we talk about?" he said, trying to joke again. "I need to know what I missed."
Heero backed off a little to give the other boy some space. He knew that this would be a little new and uncomfortable for the American. After all, he had not had several chances to get it right.
"Well . . ." he began playfully. "We talked about Aieka's party. . . "
"Geez, and I didn't even get to go!" quipped Duo.
"I told you off for taking drugs . . . ."
"I would never take drugs!" Duo said indignantly.
Heero became a little serious again. "How do you think you managed to drown in a back yard swimming pool?"
There was an uncomfortable silence as both boys were lost in thought. Duo had wondered how he had managed to drown, but more than that he was still finding it hard to believe that he had done so at all.
"Guess that must have been weird . . . seeing me die and all," Duo said slowly.
The mood darkened somewhat as Heero began to stare off into nothing.
"It was a very bad experience," Heero said at last. "You were cold and, your eyes . . ." he trailed off as he felt the dark emotions tugging at his heart again. "I tried to save you, we all did, but . . . the drugs and the time underwater . . . " He stopped as he felt a familiar wetness in the corners of his eyes.
Duo was mortified at the other boy's reaction. He felt guilty again for being the cause of Heero's sadness. He moved close to the other boy and placed his hand softly on the other boy's cheek.
"Heero, it's okay--I'm alive now! That's all that matters!" he reasoned.
"Duo . . ." the Japanese boy almost whispered. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I tried, I tried so hard, but I couldn't do anything."
Without further thinking Duo wrapped his arms around the other boy's neck and gave him a reassuring hug.
"Shh. It doesn't matter, Heero. I'm fine!"
The other boy quieted and when Duo drew back from the embrace he was stunned to see a single tear run down Heero's soft cheek. Heero crying? The notion was almost ridiculous. Duo brushed at it with his finger.
"I didn't realize you cared so much . . ."
"Of course I care!" Heero nearly shouted, "I care about you more than anyone, more than myself!"
Duo was surprised to hear this, but it made him feel warm all over. He moved his finger from the boy's cheek onto his lips to silence him. The contact gave him exquisite sensations, and when he looked into Heero's eyes, he realized how close they now were. Their faces were only inches apart. He could feel the other boy's sweet breath against his lips. His eyes stared deeply into Heero's, and for a moment the world seemed to come to a halt.
Slowly he removed his hand from Heero's lips and placed it gently along the boy's jaw. He then slowly drew the boy's lips forward and pressed them against his own. The sensation was incredible. He felt his heart stop and his head go dizzy as he languished in the sensation. After what seemed like an eternity he noticed that Heero wasn't doing anything, and he suddenly felt embarrassed. He parted swiftly and started babbling.
"Woops . . . err . . . wow . . . sorry. I . . . um don't know where . . . err . . . "
Heero used his uninjured arm to draw the babbling boy back close for another kiss. He was timid at first, content with the simple touch. Then he began to feel a deeper need, as he softly parted the other boy's lips with his tongue. Duo brought his arms around Heero's neck and pressed into the kiss firmly. He opened his mouth a little and brushed his tongue against Heero's.
The kiss continued until Duo leaned on Heero's abdominal wound, causing a little squeal of pain to escape the other boy's lips. Duo jumped off the bed and began running his hands through his hair.
"Woops. . . er. . . sorry," he said, grinning ear to ear.
He looked back at Heero, who had a similar smile on his face, and felt himself blush again.
"What are you smiling at?" he asked defensively.
"What are YOU smiling at?" Heero countered.
"Nothing," he said, trying to wipe the smirk of his face. But he couldn't help it. He was grinning wildly and even giggling a little. "I guess I just didn't expect my first real kiss to come today. And from you!"
"Well, it wasn't my first kiss . . ." Heero joked, pretending to stare at something out the window.
"Nani?!" Duo gasped.
"Nope, my first kiss was a few days ago." He smiled again.
Duo was quite annoyed now.
"Who was it!?"
"You, silly" Heero said, laughing at the reaction the other boy gave him.
Duo, realizing that he was speechless in the face of Heero Yuy, of all people, walked back over to the bed and sat down again. If Heero would now make all the noise and jokes, it was up to him to keep things quiet. He gently kissed Heero again, leaning deep into the other boy's embrace.
Heero walked over to the small girl huddled on the ground. She could not have been older than five or six and was dressed in a white flowing gown. Her black hair was neatly braided, and her shoulders were shuddering with sobs. Heero could barely make out any sound as he walked over to her.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"My daddy's dead!" the girl shrieked, before resuming her sobs.
Heero tried to comfort the girl by placing his arm around her, but she pushed it aside violently.
"Get away!" she screamed.
Heero was a little shocked at the reaction. He began to approach her again, but stopped when she jumped back.
"YOU KILLED HIM!" she screamed, pointing at his feet.
Heero found himself stepping on a man he did not recognize. He tried to get off, but ended up stepping on another body. The ground was soaked with blood all around him, and nothing he could do would remove the stains.
The girl began to sob louder and it was soon joined by an echoing sob from another girl. Soon there were people all around him, bent over in grief in front of similar bodies. There was no blood on them until he stepped close. The pool at his feet seemed to follow him wherever he went.
He panicked and began to run as fast as he could to escape the insinuations that floated all around his head.
"YOU KILLED THEM!" they screamed. "YOU KILLED THEM ALL!"
The End
For now . . . .
Author's Notes:
Hi, all!
Well if you made it this far I'm guessing that you liked the fic or were at least curious enough to get thru it all. I had lots of fun writing it and I am happy if you got something out of it too.
People have written to tell me that it reminds them of Groundhog Day and although I must admit the repeated day in time bit is similar, I did not have this film in mind when I go the idea for the fic. It came to me after reading through many of the 1+2 fics. I realized that Heero was so far from human at times that it would take him lots of tries to get any relationship right. Hence I wrote a plot where he could have lots of tries to work out how he felt.
I am planning to write a stand-alone sequel to this story that will deal with Heero's new found guilt with killing. I hope to further develop the 1+2 and 3+4 relationships.
Thanks to the people who beta read my fic, or anyone who justs read through it and encouraged me to keep at it. (Especially Maki, MonMon, Leviathan, Anmei_Asylum and Quatre)
If you liked this fic PLEASE E-MAIL ME. Apart from stoking my ego . . . :o) it lets me know where I'm going right and where I'm going wrong. If you have ideas about where I can continue don't hesitate to mail me.
Arigato!
2nd January 2000
Additional
EXTRA BIG THANKS TO LILIAS FOR PROOF READING :o) 11th January 2000
(:./barbieboy/time8)
