10-Nov-2004
Title: Tissues and Cobblestones
Author: Sol 1056
Rated: G & NC-17
Pairing: 2x1
Note: Well. I was online this evening, and had to ask Asuka Kureru what it would take to get her to stop sporking a voodoo doll with my icon on it. In another window, I tell Merith I'm expecting Asuka to demand wacky weasel lurve. Instead, I get a qualified statement from Asuka: "It has to be my version of happy, not yours." (Insert innocent look from me, here.) No weasel love required, just "wild sexx0ring". Oh, and no death.
So. This is my probationary almost-PWP attempt at wild sexx0ring(TM), mild plot thanks entirely to Merith (that evil creature), with random support from Zania (who may still be laughing). Hopefully this will convert Asuka's current distrustful hnns and sulky looks back to 'woo! I wrote more Two Knights!' which would be a much better state of affairs.
And without further ado, we'll see how this goes.
Further Note: Do not, for the love of all that's unholy, tell me this isn't up to my usual standards. Believe me, I doubt it will be. But it will be HAPPY OR SOMEONE'S ASS WILL GET KICKED! (Probably mine, but if I can drag Merith into the spankings, I'm going with it.)
Heero glanced over and elbowed Duo, who snorted before sitting up with a confused look.
"Is it over yet?" Duo rubbed his nose, looked around at the dark theater, and glared at Heero. "I was sleeping."
"You have the second thing of tissues," Heero hissed, and jerked his head towards Relena, sitting on his other side. "I'm out."
"Oh." Duo dug around in his coat pocket, and pulled out a battered package. "Here. Don't wake me up again."
"Fine." Heero glared, and turned to Relena, all fierceness gone now that he was face to face with her tearful face. "Uh... tissues?"
"Heero," she sobbed, taking the package. She didn't even look as she ripped it open, burying her nose in the shredded paper and blowing furiously. She pulled away with a wail. "This is such a sad movie! Every time we get to this point and he realizes his love is really dead, and he's been seeing a ghost and he'll never... "
Her wail went up several decibels, and Heero looked around franticly before realizing the theater was pretty much packed with crying females. A few were sobbing outright on each other's shoulders, and Heero sank down in his seat, mystified and a bit disgusted with the display. Then Relena's words sank in, and he turned to her with a bewildered look.
"Wait, you've seen this before?"
"Unh-hunh," Relena replied, her big blue eyes never leaving the screen, where the love interest was fading away. "Seven times, now."
The image of the love interest became sparkles through the magic of computer graphics; the change was greeted with another round of wails. It made Heero flinch, while Duo snorted in his sleep and curled over on his side with his head on Heero's shoulder.
"It just came out in the theaters four days ago!" Heero couldn't figure out how she'd managed to get away from work that often.
"Well, duh," Relena replied, starting to get cranky. She blew her nose again, and a fresh round of tears poured down her cheeks. "Hush! I love this part."
Heero settled back, arms crossed. He decided he was damn glad he wasn't female, if this was a required behavior.
"Oh, Heero," Relena sighed, a querulous smile on her face. Onscreen, the hero fell to his knees, grasping at the last of the sparkles. "You just don't have a romantic bone in your body, I guess."
Heero didn't see why she had to say that like it was a bad thing, but Relena was too busy biting her knuckles, tears brimming in her eyes. Up on the movie screen, the sparkles had become the lover's smiling face, and the theatergoers transformed around Heero into mournful banshees. Heero sank down lower, while Duo grumbled in his sleep at having his pillow move.
"Well," he heard her reassuring herself, "at least Duo understands."
"Duo?" Heero snorted. "He's been asleep since the opening credits."
Relena was silent for a moment, then sighed even more deeply. "This explains a great deal about why you two get along." He grumbled something inaudible, and she popped him on the knee without even looking. "Now, shut up so I can enjoy the last of this horrendously painful sadness with some iota of pleasure, would you?"
The lights finally came on. Duo sat up, looking around with bright eyes as though he hadn't been sound asleep for the past two and a half hours. He didn't even yawn, just popped right up. Heero chalked it up to one more detail to indicate Duo still wasn't human, after ten years of peace.
"That was great," Duo announced, and leaned past Heero to grin at Relena. "Alright, babe, it's not dawn yet, so it's still your night out. Whaddaya wanna do next?"
"Actually," Relena said, sniffling a little, and patting her eyes with the last of the tissues, "I'd like to see the next showing."
Heero froze; Duo blinked but any hesitation went by in a flash, then his grin got wider. Heero narrowed his eyes. Duo and a grin like that usually meant either something was about to blow up, or that Duo had just turned Heero's regulation white boxers pink in the wash. Again.
"Hey, whatever you want, babe." Duo shrugged, and Heero barely choked back a low groan. Duo continued without pause, "we'll tell Jake to get another round of tickets--" and Duo thumbed in the direction of the security man standing by the theater's main door. "--I'll get another box of tissues, and Heero can get the popcorn. You just sit tight. Sound good?"
"Thank you, Duo," Relena said, grateful. Her pointed look at Heero said clearly: see, he does understand.
Duo nodded, and yanked on Heero's arm, practically pulling Heero upright. "Come on," Duo said, his grin getting a great deal wider and far wickeder than a box of tissues and popcorn really required. "You're with me."
Heero followed, nodding to the security men stationed around the theater at every exit. He and Duo weren't on duty, but it still made sense that he should keep an eye on things, just in case. Duo noticed him making eye contact with Agents Jackson and Meyers, and shook his head.
"Dude, you are so not getting this." Duo looped his arm through Heero's, and practically dragged him from the theater. Threading their way through the crowds departing after the eight o'clock showing, Duo realized Heero was lagging, and gave him a puzzled look. "What's wrong?"
"Relena said I don't have a romantic bone in my body." Heero frowned at two teenagers ahead, holding up traffic while the girl squealed about something the boy had given her. "We've been together for years. Have I been missing something all this time?"
"Naw," Duo replied, unperturbed. "She just has a different definition." He strolled past the couple, seemingly unbothered by the shrieking from the girl. "See, crying at movies, getting flowers, and spending three months' salary on jewelry you'll never wear? Chick romance."
Heero considered that, then noticed it begged a certain question. "Is there any other kind?"
"Yeah." Duo's grin got wider, and he leaned over to whisper in Heero's ear, hot breath playing across Heero's neck. "Alleyway. Now. I'm gonna fuck you so hard my cum'll end up in your molars."
Heero gulped. "Uh," he managed, after a startled pause. "Is that just an example, or are you--"
"Hell yeah." Duo snagged Heero by the belt of his jeans and they took an abrupt left, away from the concession stand. Duo pushed open the exit door, following the crowd outside. "We've got forty minutes before she'll need her first tissue hit."
Heero nodded, following willingly. Duo was clearly in lesson-mode, and while it could be as scary as his about-to-blow mode, it was often far more pleasurable. Outside, the summer evening was warm, and Duo led Heero away from the crowds aiming for the parking garage. The cobblestones were bumpy under their feet. Duo skillfully undid another button on Heero's jeans with each uneven step.
"Allow me to demonstrate," Duo said. His hand fisted smoothly around Heero's growing erection, exposed to the air, and Duo began shoving down Heero's jeans. Duo chuckled, low in his throat, when Heero's eyes rolled backwards.
"Oh, god," Heero managed to groan out, his hips jerking at Duo's ministrations. "I like... ohhh... your idea... " He was turned around, and braced himself against the concrete as a slick finger entered him from behind. "ahhh, yeah, fuck... of romance... " He arched into Duo's hand, shoving backwards. "Oh, fuck... much better."
"And the best part is," Duo said, then broke off - in the pause, his zipper was loud in the alley doorway. "--If we... ah, shit, Heero... do it right... god, your ass is fuckin' perfect," and he groaned loudly, pulling out and ramming forcefully into Heero again, "no tissues required."
...waits to see if Asuka is mollified.
(:./sol/tissues)
