a story about Noin and Heero set in AC 200
AC 200
"Heero?" she said to the man looking out at the lake.
The man turned to look at her. The expression in his eyes was one of mild interest, but not surprise. Noin thought, I never realized how good looking he was before. "I'm here because Relena sent... "
"I know... She sent you to find me and take me back." Heero said before looking back at the water.
"Yes. I was against the idea since you had written a resignation letter but she insisted."
Heero smiled but said nothing.
"You didn't say anything about why you left, Heero."
"She wouldn't understand or she wouldn't want to."
"Well, maybe I can tell her in a way she'll understand."
"Do you want a cup of coffee?"
"All right."
Heero heard the slight hesitation in her voice and shook his head. "Don't worry, I'm not going to run away." He turned towards the cabin and walked without looking back.
Noin followed him into the cabin. As it was solar powered, he simply turned on the electric range and put on a kettle that already had water. She sat down on one of the wooden chairs.
Heero sat down in front of her. "I knew that eventually she'd send someone. I wasn't expecting you, though."
"I had the time and I wanted to travel."
"I heard that you're separated from Zechs."
"Yes... that's true."
"Then perhaps you'll understand why I did what I did."
"I'll try."
"I wrote that resignation letter because I had to. From the beginning, Relena always looked to me for strength, as someone to think about whenever she needed help with her own life. After the war, she asked me to stay with her. I ended up being her bodyguard."
"The truth is that my role was less clear. Was I her bodyguard, idol, boyfriend, confidante, gatekeeper, or some combination of all those roles? Whenever she needed a rest, I had to be the one to say no to other people. I ended up being the bad guy since I was the one denying them access. When she needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, I was there. However... I'm tired."
The kettle whistled. Heero got up and poured the hot water on top of the instant coffee crystals in the mug. "Milk, sugar?"
"Just black is fine."
He set the mug in front of her and sat down. "I was tired of being the rock that she clung to when things got rough. I'm not a rock, I'm a human being. I'm not her father. I'm not her butler. I'm not a god. I'm an ex-terrorist who wants to forget he is an ex- terrorist. What she needs is someone who can spoil her and be there all the time. I don't have the emotional resources for it. I know that her job is tough and that she needs someone to take some of the pressure off But I have my own needs and I can't ignore them any more... "
"I'll tell her what you said."
"So, now that I've told you why, I'm curious about what happened between you and Zechs. From what Relena told me, you had your heart set on him throughout the entire war and that you refused to believe that he'd died."
Noin put the coffee aside. "I really did try to make it work, you know. I really did. During the wars, I was trying to be the best woman I could be for him. You know, always supportive, trying to get him to make the right decisions, not burdening him with my own fears and doubts. After Mariemeia was defeated, I thought everything was going to be smooth from now on. But it wasn't... all the same problems were still there except there were no distractions like war to keep me from ignoring them."
"When Zechs puts his mind to something, he's very focused. That's how he got to be the top guy in the Academy because he devoted 100% of his soul to that goal. The problem is that he has a tendency to push aside anything that gets in his way. He doesn't like being contradicted and when he's certain that he's right, it's hard for him to hear anything else... He always wants my unconditional support for every decision he makes, asking me whether I'm against or for him. He doesn't understand that I can disagree with him and still care about him. I didn't mind the disagreements, it was the way he acted about them that wore me down. I wanted to be able to speak my mind without getting into another argument." Noin put her hands over her face and began to cry. "I've tried so hard to be the perfect wife for him... "
"Noin, nobody can be perfect. That's the problem for the both of us. They want more than we can give them, but insist that we give it to them anyway. The fact is that we need someone who can give us the things we need in return for the things we can give. Relena, Zechs... they can't give us what we need because they're busy giving what they have to the world and keeping the rest for themselves. It's just how things are... Here."
Noin looked up to see Heero handing her a small hand towel. She took it and wiped her tears. "Well, I'll just have to go back and tell her."
"You haven't told anybody that I'm here, have you?"
Noin shook her head. "No, I was only going to tell her if you wanted to go back."
"Then why don't you stay here a while if you don't have anything else to do."
"I thought you wanted to be alone... "
"No, not alone, just not... "
"Oh." She looked around her. The cabin was spacious with three rooms and a bathroom. There was heat and light if needed and there was a town a couple miles away for groceries. It wouldn't be a bad place to stay, she thought. However... "What else do you do besides look out at the lake?"
Heero took out a deck of cards. "I usually play Solitaire. Perhaps we should try a different game."
The End
(:./mk/ace)
