11 Jun 2000
DISCLAIMER: All Gundam Wing characters are property of Sunrise, Bandai Visuals, Sotsu Agency, and Asahi TV. This work is not written for profit, but for entertainment purposes only.
WARNINGS: Shonen-ai (will become lemon); angst; some sap (my fault, not Tzi's)
Pairing: 6x5/5x6 (Implied 13x6, 13x5)
Walking to the book shop, Zechs was careful to keep a respectful distance from the boy. His hands were in his pockets and his mind kept firmly on the books he wanted to look for. As they entered, the peculiar smell of musty paper and ancient leather book-linings was like a perfume and Zechs felt himself becoming quiet and calm. Books always did that for him. But just outside the calm was a sweep of sadness, remembering the times that Treize had brought him here, early on in their war days, when he and Romefeller were not at odds with each other.
Shaking his head clear of painful memories, he said in a hushed voice, "I'm going to look at the histories. Why don't we meet back here in, say, an hour." And with that, he was gone. The vague sense of abandonment didn't sit well with Wufei; he hated feeling it, hated thinking it, but there it was. The quiet tinkle of the door bell as it opened and closed once again prompted him forward and into the shelves full of books.
Wufei resisted the urge to touch the bindings as he wandered through, looking at names and titles, breathing in the dusty dry smell of leather and pages that had surrounded him in his youth. /What do I want.../
Zechs's offer was terribly generous and it made him... he didn't know. It made him feel funny. Happy, maybe. Yes... that had to be it. Nervous, too fluttery in the stomach. He'd never been good at accepting gifts and was better, in truth, at giving them, even though he often felt that he hadn't done *enough*... but still!
It was then that a glint of gold caught his eye.
Sometimes, Wufei admitted to himself, he was an utter snob about the things he chose to read; other times, he fell easily into the trap of trashy novels which he wouldn't even let anyone see but would instead secrete away and drag out only when he was absolutely *certain* no one would see him with them.
And sometimes... all it took was a pretty cover and he was lost.
This, in particular, was bound lovingly; the leather pink-tinged, trailed lightly in faded gold leaf depicting angels and careful scrolled letters.
_The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty_.
Carefully, almost reverently, he pulled it loose and opened the front cover, the scrawl of the author's name in pencil on the outside leaf with the date -- April 2001. It had been printed before the colonies were put in space, even.
A truly ancient (and probably VERY expensive) book.
Regretfully, he knew it couldn't be his, despite the attachment he'd felt upon first picking it up but... With a sigh and a purpose, Wufei quickly found a corner near the front with a comfortable chair and sat down to read.
Zechs had wandered upstairs to where the history section overflowed its boundaries and crowded out the philosophy books nearby. Zechs thought of it as a beautiful kind of divine justice. His eyes trailed over volumes on Europe and the Americas, African and Russian histories, and those on the development of the Pacific nations and what had been China in the pre-colony days. China. Wufei's words came back to haunt him. /"In my culture, people don't touch often. Only in private... "/ Pulling several books out on the topic, he carried them to an armchair by a sunny window and began to read.
The appointed meeting time came and went and Wufei did not notice. Indeed, he might not have noticed even if lightning had struck directly next to him!
'It seemed now that the statue raped him both through his anus and through his mouth, and he was bound to it. And his organ, as stiff as before, lay thrust forward as the phallus of the statue was inside of him,'
Wufei read silently, mouth parted slightly, dark eyes glazed over wantonly. /I shouldn't have picked this up.. no, I shouldn't have.../ Still, 'shouldn't have' didn't stop his continuing to read, or keep his tongue from darting out to moisten his lower lip as he concentrated intently, surroundings utterly lost to him.
Zechs looked up, a rather dazed look in his eyes, then shook his head and looked down at his watch. It had been nearly two hours that he'd been wrapped up in Late Pre-Colony China. Grabbing two of the best books he'd found, he headed downstairs to find Wufei.
He came upon the boy, utterly absorbed in reading, although he couldn't make out the book itself. "Wufei?" he asked tentatively. He tried again, but the boy's focus was complete, so he walked to where he sat and leaned over, shaking him gently. "Wufei! Are you ready to go?"
That touch almost sent him scrambling out of his chair as black eyes jerked up from the pages, wide and startled, still bearing something of the dazed pleasure that had been washing over him. He parted his lips, catching the breath he'd been holding and saying, "Oh! Zechs! I... It's time to go, isn't it?"
Zechs smiled uncertainly. "Well, I was thinking we could look at some of the other shops. Find a good book?" he said, trying to see the cover.
In an automatic gesture, Wufei shut it, flushing and pulling it close to his chest. "Yes, but too expensive," he said, unaware of the note of longing in his voice. "You?"
"Yes, I have a couple and no, it's *not* too expensive. Now bring it up to the front so the owner can give me a receipt."
That earned Zechs an almost timid smile as Wufei rose. "There are others," he said quietly. "Two more. Maybe I can have them another day....?" The notion of asking, of being a beggar child, was hurtful to his pride, but... he DID want them terribly and there was no way *he'd* ever be able to afford them... not the way things were now. Before the colony exploded, perhaps...
That thought was sobering and wiped his smile away even as he looked up at Zechs slightly, trying not to frown.
"Nonsense," Zechs said calmly. "I said we were buying *books* today, not *book.* Now bring them along - we can always come back again for more browsing." He smiled softly at the boy, hoping to erase the slight line that had appeared between the dark brows. "Besides, more books means more that we could read to each other, yes? I'll be waiting up front." With that the tall blond turned and headed off.
The mere THOUGHT of reading such a thing to Zechs was enough to make Wufei hard (if he hadn't been already) and also, perhaps, enough to scare him perfectly and completely to death!
He gathered the other two and moved up to the front, standing beside Zechs as he dutifully placed the complete trilogy of novels there on the counter.
When the books were wrapped neatly in two brown-paper parcels and the two of them were out on the sidewalk again, Zechs glanced down the street and then turned to Wufei. "If you don't mind I'd like to stop at the wine shop over there. I won't take long. Then we can get something to eat and take it down to the fountain. Does that sound all right?"
Wufei thought it sounded damned near perfect to him and so he nodded, trailing along silently next to Zechs, still clutching his bag. /This... I don't deserve all of this.../ But he was so glad to not be alone anymore!
The wine shop was small but extremely well-stocked, bottles glowing like jewels laid out in rustic wooden shelving. Glowing reds and gleaming whites were separated and a small, cave-like area contained champagne and brandy.
Zechs had avoided alcohol while his injuries healed, but had missed wine with dinner and brandy and coffee later on. It was time to restock. Turning to Wufei, he asked, "What's your favorite, red or white?"
"I don't drink," Wufei answered honestly, shaking his head. "I don't have a head for it."
Zechs smiled briefly and murmured, "That can be good or bad, depending..." The wine merchant approached the tall blond (aristocrats were such good customers) and the two discussed the selection of whites and champagne and brandy.
/Mostly bad,/ Wufei thought, remembering the only time he'd been truly drunk and letting a wave of sadness flush through him for a moment. He fought that back, however, looking at the bottles with a fascination for their colors, touching the occasional smooth side with his fingertips, the texture of text or glass or paper beneath them pleasant and cool.
"Now that was an amazingly horrible year." Zechs's arm came over Wufei's shoulder and a long, slender finger pointed at the bottle's date. "I drank a bottle of Merlot from that year once and thought someone had put rat poison in the bottle. Whereas *this* one," he pointed to another just beyond the first, "is simply a wine for lying down and avoiding."*
The smile that crossed his face was beginning to feel more familiar today. There was something about Zechs... something that made him feel wanted and... well, maybe special, too. And that was a very nice thing. "So how do you know which one is going to be a good one? Trial and error?"
Zechs smiled again. "If you're lucky, you hear about it from someone else with a bottle of the stuff. If you're unlucky, you learn from first-hand experience." The blond turned briefly to regard Wufei. "The owner is having our purchases sent, so why don't we have some lunch?"
A slight nod came in affirmation as Wufei's stomach told him quietly that it was *definitely* time for lunch.
They wandered over to the small cafe that stood next to the bookstore. Several of the small tables were filled with lunchtime patrons and the take out counter was doing a brisk business as well. When they got to the front of the line, Zechs ordered marinated thin-sliced beef, a small amount of cheddar cheese, bread, and pears, before turning to Wufei. "What looks good? Have you got a craving for anything in particular?"
"What you're having is fine," Wufei said, looking about at the people having lunch. Everyone looked so happy, smiling and talking, pleased with the peace they'd wrought. It made it a bit easier to accept, Treize's sacrifice, the sacrifice of each of them. "And tea, please?"
Their lunch was boxed and they stepped out into the sunlight. "Why don't we sit over there - on the ledge going around the fountain." Zechs pointed and then led the way there.
Wufei followed him and they sat, Zechs's long legs neatly sprawled out before him as Wufei pulled his own up and crossed them. He placed their books carefully at the foot of the fountain before taking the box the tall blond offered him. "Zechs? Do you mind if I ask you something?"
"No, not at all," Zechs murmured, frowning critically at the sandwich he'd just made. "What is it?" Opening his own, Wufei picked at an onion, not looking at Zechs at all. "What was it that made you love him?"
Zechs was very still for several moments. He'd been expecting a question like this and, in a way, was glad that Wufei was finally feeling comfortable voicing questions and thoughts about Treize to him. And yet, part of it was so very hard. He had first visited this city with Treize, as his new second in the months following his graduation from the Academy. It had seemed then that the two of them would have all the time in the world together... all the time they needed. But, of course, it just wasn't to be. He put down his sandwich and crossed his fingers under his chin, elbows resting on his knees.
"Well," he began softly. "At one time he was the only person I knew who had really known *me*... before my parents were killed. And when I met him again, he was the only person who seemed to really *want* me with him. I'd been passed from one family to the next from the time I was six, and in every place I heard the whispers of people who were reluctant to keep me too long, for fear of old enemies retaliating. Everyone else was always glad to see me *go* and he... he was someone who seemed thrilled to have me *come* to him."
The tall blond was staring, sightless, across the square now, his lunch forgotten for the moment, his thoughts taken over by the past. "I hated myself back then, thought I was personally responsible for anyone I'd ever known dying as they did when the Federation came. But Treize didn't see that when he looked at me. He saw me for who I was. He was really the only one who ever did." Zechs looked over at Wufei. "He thought I was worthwhile at a time when I felt I didn't deserve to live." There was a stinging behind his eyes, but this time he didn't want to fight the tears. He wanted them to come, because Treize deserved to be mourned. "Does... does that make any sense?"
"Yes." The answer was whispered, barely audible over the rushing sound of water burbling up and spilling down stone into the cool clear pool as Wufei watched Zechs, his own face tightening into a slightly wizened expression. "It... it makes perfect sense."
The thought of Meiran, of her death, of Treize's hands and soft words reassuring him that he was perfect and fiery, not the weak boy he saw himself as so often.... it made him think, too much, of the last time, the final time... before he'd seen Treize kissing someone else.
Before he'd seen him kissing Zechs.
/Not that it matters. I'd kiss Zechs, too, if I was him./
"I understand."
Zechs smiled, a little sadly, at the dark-haired boy. "What about you, Wufei?"
"Because..." The answer was hard. "Because he wanted me and nobody else ever has. Because I wasn't something to send to boarding school or marry off at first convenience or a focus for hatred or something weak or a tool for freedom. Because I was me and he only wanted me for that. I think he did, anyway." His head ducked, face hidden in the shadow cast by the noon-day sun. "I think he did."
A horrible, sad, sinking feeling inside and then Zechs, looking at the water sparkling out of the fountain, whispered, "Of course he did. More than anything..."
"If he did," Wufei said low in his throat, not wanting to say it, but needing to all the same, "then why was he kissing you?"
End of Part 5
(:./kumiko/lvvs5)
